How old before they won't circ? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 21 Old 12-04-2009, 12:02 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I've seen posts before about waiting long enough that they won't circumcise if you bring the child in, and I'm curious what age that is?

I'm due in the next 4 weeks and we don't know the sex, but if it is a boy, DH wants him to be circumcised. I disagree. We have talked about it a few times, but he is pretty closed-minded to it. Luckily...he is a huge procrastinator. He gets things done about 6 months to several years after he plans on doing it. One example is his name change...he wanted a legal name change when he was 18. He is 24 and just now filling out the paperwork.

Basically, if I don't schedule it, it won't happen in the first month after birth. Probably not the second, or the 3rd, 4th, 5th....

Another thing on my side is that DH hates doctors. We're doing a UC and I haven't been getting prenatal care, we're both very anti-vax. Our DD does not have a pediatrician. I think that will further along the procrastination process. Honestly I'm not sure he'll even know where to start to find someone to do it.

I'm thinking I can get away with it never happening if we have a son, but I'm curious how long DH needs to procrastinate before I can feel "safe" that he won't be able to schedule it. I don't want to bring up the idea of not doing it again (until he tries to schedule one--then I will bring it up and give my reasons against again) because if he realizes that I'm serious about not having it done then he may procrastinate less because he'll know I won't schedule it myself. Sometimes he procrastinates way more if he expects me to do something for him. I'm hoping that he'll just keep putting it off until it never happens.
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#2 of 21 Old 12-04-2009, 12:16 AM
 
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We UC/UPed with our first. DH was ok with circing. I had to ask him, "So we have a baby at home all happy and thenwe take him in to the hospital or doctor later? How does that make sense? He admitted it didn't. But he was still ok with circing.

Anyway, we had a girl, so it was a non-issue. We're pregnant again and UP/UCing and he knows if it's a boy, I'm not allowing him to be touched! He's still "ok" with circing, but I know he won't fight me over it.

So that's not helpful, but essentially, I was a "loud mouth" about things and eventually got my way. Probably not the best way, but it works for us.

Mommy to DD March 2008, DS July 2010
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#3 of 21 Old 12-04-2009, 01:18 AM
 
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1 month according to my ped. That is why they kept asking me over and over if I was doing it because after a month, they can't. The babies would have to go to a urologist and have it done under anesthesia.
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#4 of 21 Old 12-04-2009, 01:38 AM
 
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We were at the doctor once and a baby who appeared to be 3 months got circed. I could tell as I stepped out of our exam room to see what all the blood-curling screaming was about. Mom was carrying him down the hallway with a smug look upon her face and the child had the reddest face I've ever seen. The nurse walked by and said "the doctor will be in with you shortly, he's cleaning up from a procedure". I said "did he just circumcise that baby?" and she grimaced and shook her head yes. Needless to say, that was a very uncomfortable visit for me (and that child) and I never returned to that doctor.

I know for a fact some doctors will do them in office, without anesthesia, well past one month. It may have to do with size/weight before they will refer to a urologist but even then, urologists will do them with local or nothing for many months. I'm sure it varies in areas throughout the country. I've been told some doctors will only do circ with general anesthesia after 6 months, others wait until 12 months.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I don't think there is ever any "safe" time where your son will be in the clear. Ever. If your husband really wants it done, he can call around until he can find a doctor willing to do it. Now maybe the fact after a certain age he'll need general anesthesia will be a deterrent, but maybe not. If you do have a boy, I urge you to discuss how much you do not want your baby circed and ask your husband/significant other why circing is so important to him. Maybe he just has some misconceptions you could easily clear up and then he wouldn't be so worried about it.
Has your partner watched a video of an infant circumcision yet? Often that will help a man to reconsider (not always, of course).
The only other thing I can think of is that if you have medical insurance you call the insurance company and tell them you personally (the mom, not just the dad) want to be notified in advance of any medical procedure approvals, especially circ. I suspect if your dh tried to have your son circed and you have insurance that the doctor's office would call to verify benefits for payment beforehand and maybe the claims agent would tell the office the procedure must be approved my mom first. It couldn't hurt to try it.

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#5 of 21 Old 12-04-2009, 02:16 AM
 
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I was told it can be done under local anaesthesia up to 6 weeks, then you have to wait til 3 months or older and have it done under general. Since they circumcise grown men, I don't think there is a "safe" time, and I agree with letting insurance know you must be notified.

Jessica , wife to L (8-5-05), Mama to H (9-18-09)
Regretting our decision to circ after complications that could have killed our baby boy!
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#6 of 21 Old 12-04-2009, 04:00 AM
 
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Your DH would actually take him to a pediatrician to have him circumcised without your consent? The answer to your question is that they are NEVER too old to be circumcised. It gets more complicated as they get older, because they need to put under, but they're never too old to have it done. If you're worried about it, simply have your pediatrician note in the file that you do not consent to have your son circumcised. Period. Then if your DH tries to take him in for it, they probably won't do it. (Legally they could, but they probably wouldn't.)

I think that if your DH would do that without your consent, though, then you guys really need to have a talk. You shouldn't have to live in fear that your husband is going to spirit the baby away and have him circumcised without your consent.
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#7 of 21 Old 12-04-2009, 09:58 AM
 
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Don't they do adult men with local anesthesia --- they COULD do babies as well with a local, at any age.Circ can be done at any age. I would not think that you would really be 'safe' at any time. As long as he has a foreskin someone may want to remove it. It just gets more expensive and there are more logistics the longer you wait.

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#8 of 21 Old 12-04-2009, 10:46 AM
 
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I will not do it. I will make the hubby if he makes a stink about it. And he will not even call for pizza (anti-social type). He will watch the videos, read the research, make the appt, and I still doubt I'll let him do it.

I might might might allow only under general anesthesia-but prob not.

We have not even mentioned it during conversation at all (homebirth). So I'm not sure it will even be an issue until a lightbulb goes off over his head--that could be months. Smart man, but the common every day tends to go right by him.

Crunchy con wife with 1 DS and 1 lil DD born in Jan. I love breastfeeding, CDing and Friday night family bed.
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#9 of 21 Old 12-04-2009, 11:15 AM
 
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GA there is a risk of death. Not to mention the risk of death with the circ itself. Yes boys die here in the USA every year from blood loose due to circ. We recently had a poster almost loose her ds that way. Here is that thread http://www.mothering.com/discussions...ghlight=horror because her dh insisted and made a stink about it her baby almost died.

I cant wrap my head around allowing GA for a cosmetic procedure. It is bad enough when you have to risk it for health reasons but not for something that isnt life threatening.

You have to remember to even if it is done under GA he will still be in pain until it heals every time he urinates it will burn. Every time he has a blow out diaper it will hurt to clean him.

No matter how big a stink my dh made my ds is intact because it is his body to choose what to do with it not mine and not dh's.

OP this baby was circed in office at 6 weeks with local only http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=1158645&highlight=horror

There are dr's out there who will do it in office with local or no anesthesia at all actually until well past a year. I have read a few stories online about 4,5 even 6 year olds having it done in office with nothing for pain. I am sure that is a rare thing but it happens.

 
SAHMlady.gifread.giflovin' trekkie.giffan intactivist.gifwinner.jpg to loveeyes.gifenergy.gifDD 10/00 & superhero.gifmoon.gifDS 10/04 ribbonpb.gifIf your ds is intact, keep him safe, visit the Case Against Circ forumnocirc.gifCirc, a personal choice, Your sonsyes.gifbrokenheart.gif11/98brokenheart.gif6/99ribbonbrown.gifanti-tobaccoribbonyellow.gifThyroid cancer survivor. With cat.gif& goldfish.gif & (Boxer)dog2.gif wishing 4 whale.gif&ribbonwhite.gifsigncirc1.gifselectivevax.gifdelayedvax.gif

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#10 of 21 Old 12-04-2009, 11:32 AM
 
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They can be circed without general until they can't be restrained by one of these:
http://www.quickmedical.com/olympicm...mobolizer.html
Looks like around 10 lbs. Unless the geniuses have come up with some other sort of nasty thing to tie them down "without danger of escape" :Puke

Tara Momma to Callum and Gavin
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#11 of 21 Old 12-04-2009, 11:35 AM
 
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The restraint they use at the pediatric dentist here is like the circumstraint but is much larger and will hold a child up to 60pds so in theory it is out there to use for that if they wish.

 
SAHMlady.gifread.giflovin' trekkie.giffan intactivist.gifwinner.jpg to loveeyes.gifenergy.gifDD 10/00 & superhero.gifmoon.gifDS 10/04 ribbonpb.gifIf your ds is intact, keep him safe, visit the Case Against Circ forumnocirc.gifCirc, a personal choice, Your sonsyes.gifbrokenheart.gif11/98brokenheart.gif6/99ribbonbrown.gifanti-tobaccoribbonyellow.gifThyroid cancer survivor. With cat.gif& goldfish.gif & (Boxer)dog2.gif wishing 4 whale.gif&ribbonwhite.gifsigncirc1.gifselectivevax.gifdelayedvax.gif

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#12 of 21 Old 12-04-2009, 11:45 AM
 
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Originally Posted by calngavinsmom View Post
They can be circed without general until they can't be restrained by one of these:
http://www.quickmedical.com/olympicm...mobolizer.html
Looks like around 10 lbs. Unless the geniuses have come up with some other sort of nasty thing to tie them down "without danger of escape" :Puke
guh. I haven't seen that link since I was digging up info to convince DH with our DS (which was super easy). I remember being completely revolted at the language in that description, and almost 5 years later am equally as disgusted.

Seriously, "perfectly presenting the genitalia"??? "immobilize the struggling infant" and "depriving him/her of leverage."
Don't forget "quickly immobilize an infant in the proper position, speeding procedures"....well, thank the stars for that, because what everyone truly wants are quick & dirty, time efficient circs.

Em, married to Alex, mom to Samantha (11 yrs) and Cullen (5yrs) and Maybe (5/16/2010) Trying to grow 4,000lbs of produce on .2 acres. See my blog!
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#13 of 21 Old 12-04-2009, 11:59 AM
 
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when DH was pro-circ I told him id leave him if he insisted on getting our son chopped. I say 'thats ok, you can try and get him cric'ed but you will lose your wife' he pretty soon changed his mind, did his research and realised he was being very silly. Now he is very pro-intact.

Mummy to Samuel 02/08 and new baby Molly- 04/10
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#14 of 21 Old 12-04-2009, 01:46 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by calngavinsmom View Post
They can be circed without general until they can't be restrained by one of these:
http://www.quickmedical.com/olympicm...mobolizer.html
Looks like around 10 lbs. Unless the geniuses have come up with some other sort of nasty thing to tie them down "without danger of escape" :Puke
They make restraints that can hold any size child. From the same site: http://www.quickmedical.com/olympicm...se_boards.html

Single mom to the Crunchy Froglets, Keith and Carlin, twin boys born 1/30/09. Frozen for 10 years, now unleashed on the world.
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#15 of 21 Old 12-04-2009, 03:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I don't know for sure whether or not he would do it without my consent, but when I brought it up he said it was happening and non-negotiable. He wants to do it for religious reasons, which I can relate to, because I had the same beliefs as him on this topic until recently. Medical reasons not to do it won't sway him and it's not an issue of "I want him to look like me."

On my side are the fact that we are doing a UC, we don't have a pediatrician and we don't have a family doctor. We don't do well baby visits. We also don't have health insurance. He doesn't like talking to doctors and I know he'll put off scheduling anything if it's up to him to do it. As long as he thinks I might take care of it, he won't do it himself. If I tell him tomorrow that I am absolutely against it (last time we talked about it I was on the fence still), he will be more motivated to schedule it on his own. My hope is that if it gets put off long enough he might get used to the idea of it not being done, and it will also buy me time to find reasons not to do it that would appeal to him.
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#16 of 21 Old 12-04-2009, 10:24 PM
 
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Why don't you get some quotes on it, maybe the sticker shock will snap him out of it. I see your in NC, so you can't even get medicaid to cover it.

Mom of 3 sons and one daughter
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#17 of 21 Old 12-05-2009, 10:39 PM
 
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Dr's vary greatly on this, I would not count on any time frame being safe. I've heard of 5 yo being circ'd without anesthesia in Dr's offices.

If you think your DH will actually get around to trying to get him circ'd, write letters to all the Drs in the area stating that you do not give consent and that you will contact a lawyer, if they do it on your DH's say so.

Timmy's Mommy WARNINGyslexic typing with help of preschooler, beware of typos
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#18 of 21 Old 12-07-2009, 03:03 AM
 
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basically.. you need to figure out what it is you stand for, and then learn to put your foot down. If you don't want this done to your son, then you don't allow it. I don't believe in the excuse that ‘your husband wants it’, it's about whether or not you allow it to happen to your son. Period.
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#19 of 21 Old 12-07-2009, 03:25 AM
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Where there's a will, there's a way. A greedy enough doctor will do it at anytime.

Long distance Mom to boarding school superstars E (9) and Layne (6).
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#20 of 21 Old 12-07-2009, 04:54 AM
 
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Originally Posted by SChaloux View Post
basically.. you need to figure out what it is you stand for, and then learn to put your foot down. If you don't want this done to your son, then you don't allow it. I don't believe in the excuse that ‘your husband wants it’, it's about whether or not you allow it to happen to your son. Period.
Exactly! To OP, would your husband physically remove your son from your arms to have this done??? I would not let my baby out of my sight if my husband was as insistent as yours.
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#21 of 21 Old 12-07-2009, 12:08 PM
 
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I don't get the point of having a completely natural birth experience (sans doctors and medical interventions) to turn around and do this. Boggles my mind!

Mindie, wife to Mark, not-so-crunchy mom to Dylan (4/04); Devon (6/06); Dorothy (9/07); Derek (12/19/09); Daniel (12/18/10); Newbie D (2/22/12)

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