So sad for a little premature baby boy - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 19 Old 08-12-2010, 04:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My daughter's dance teacher had twins at 24 weeks. One was a boy. She has a blog for them and I have been reading the updates. They are doing well now and set to come home on Saturday, after the boy is circumcised. This poor baby has been poked and prodded since he took his first breath, not to mention went through a heart surgery and will come home with a feeding tube. Has he not been through enough? I don't have boys, I have three girls, but DH and I decided before our first was born that if we ever had boys they would never be circumcised.
Anyway, this just broke my heart so I emailed her and told her that I normally don't give unsolicited advice but I was so saddened to hear that she was going to have her baby cut and asked her to reconsider. I worked in the hospital for several years and attended some circumcisions. I told her it was the most traumatic thing I have witnessed and I worked mostly in the ER and ICU. I sent her some websites to read. I doubt she will. And I did not get a response back.

Just wanted to vent. It breaks my heart.

Lisa
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#2 of 19 Old 08-12-2010, 05:08 PM
 
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I'm sorry! Good for you for trying, though.

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#3 of 19 Old 08-12-2010, 06:34 PM
 
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One of my nephews is not circed only because he was a preemie... the docs felt like he'd been through enough stress.
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#4 of 19 Old 08-12-2010, 06:58 PM
 
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That makes me so sad too. Nothing like plastic surgery on preemies, eh?

Mom to angel baby, grew wings at 5 weeks in May '07, William, born Dec '08, and another angel who grew wings at 8w4d (lost at 11w) in Oct '10. Rachel born Feb 2012, Another angel Lost Sept '13. New bean due Nov '14!
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#5 of 19 Old 08-12-2010, 08:01 PM
 
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Oh my goodness.... After all of that? As a mom of a preemie (though, not as premature as 24 weeks!) it breaks my heart twice over.

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#6 of 19 Old 08-12-2010, 08:33 PM
 
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Good for you for sending her some info. She may be going on auto pilot after all she's been through, and getting an outside opinion might not be a bad thing.

Mama of 2 sweet boys, Miles (Jan 3/07) and Avery (Nov 28/09) My fast and furious HBAC
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#7 of 19 Old 08-13-2010, 10:33 AM
 
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So sorry to hear this. Maybe she will listen, though.
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#8 of 19 Old 08-13-2010, 02:08 PM
 
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It's great that you said something. So many people just assume it is a necessary normal part of having a boy and never stop to question it, especially when they are an exhausted new mommy.

I wouldn't take the lack of a response as a sign that she chose to ignore the info and move on. If she was just going to ignore it she might even just thank you for the links real quick before deleting them, so that you would stop bothering her. She may still be reading them and thinking about it.

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#9 of 19 Old 08-14-2010, 10:59 AM
 
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Kudos to you for offering advice and information - At least you tried - and you never know what mght sink in.
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#10 of 19 Old 08-14-2010, 12:09 PM
 
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I wish I had a friend like you to send me the facts of circumcision when my 2 oldest sons were born . I was one of those moms who thought it had to be done. Yeah, I'm an idiot... I know. Hopefully she reads them... if not, that poor little boy. He's gone through enough

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#11 of 19 Old 08-15-2010, 02:16 PM
 
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I spoke recently with a NICU nurse about this very subject. She told me that many NICU parents look at circumcision as a sort of graduation...The baby is FINALLY healthy and normal enough to have this very routine normal thing done to him.

Sad....terribly terribly sad

Victim of Birth Rape & Coerced ribboncesarean.gifUnnecesareanribboncesarean.gif What makes people think they can cut up someone else's genitals? nocirc.gif
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#12 of 19 Old 08-15-2010, 02:53 PM
 
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How sad, but I'm so glad that you sent her some info. Hopefully it will give her a change of heart.

Wife, mom to DS (4), DD (2) and baby heart 2.7.13

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#13 of 19 Old 08-15-2010, 05:01 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fyrestorm View Post
I spoke recently with a NICU nurse about this very subject. She told me that many NICU parents look at circumcision as a sort of graduation...The baby is FINALLY healthy and normal enough to have this very routine normal thing done to him.

Sad....terribly terribly sad
Oh my goodness, this idea makes me feel ill. As if months of painful vents, NG tubes, IV's, heel sticks, blood transfusions, etc., weren't enough torture to endure as a brand new baby. Those nurses need to step it up and talk honestly with the parents! My mind was already very made up not to circ long before DS was born, and we were also privileged to have a kind but pro-intact nurse as his regular nurse.

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#14 of 19 Old 08-15-2010, 09:10 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fyrestorm View Post
I spoke recently with a NICU nurse about this very subject. She told me that many NICU parents look at circumcision as a sort of graduation...The baby is FINALLY healthy and normal enough to have this very routine normal thing done to him.

Sad....terribly terribly sad
there really are no words.



sus

Baby the babies while they're babies so they don't need babying for a lifetime.
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#15 of 19 Old 08-16-2010, 12:01 AM
 
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Sad.

I worked at the hospital with a lot of heart babies and that would always make me sad on little boys who'd never been home before and would get it done while they were there. I was a CNA and did a lot of baths and I would be sad thinking about keeping two different wounds clean - one sternal incision on their chest from the heart surgery that was really important and then the circumcision down in the diaper area.

I have my own little heart baby and I wasn't anti-circ before he was born. I just totally assumed that they wouldn't do it right after a surgery and so I never asked and no one ever offered and we ended up never getting it done
Poor babies

Jenna - student RN and mommy to a cutie pie 3 yr old.
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#16 of 19 Old 08-16-2010, 11:16 AM
 
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I was privy to a conversation the other day about a 27-week preemie being circ'ed right before discharge. Then the grandmother mentioned his discharge weight was 4.3 lbs. 4.3 lbs?!? I didn't think you could find a doctor to even do the procedure on a baby that small! Horrifying does not even begin to describe it. But I guess it was more important to make sure that baby didn't dare go home with a "funny penis".

I do not understand.
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#17 of 19 Old 08-17-2010, 08:23 AM
 
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I didn't think you could find a doctor to even do the procedure on a baby that small!
Up till 1989 it was standard to perform open heart surgeries on premies with NO anesthetic.

Wheres the emoticon for vomit?
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#18 of 19 Old 08-17-2010, 10:13 AM
 
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When we were in the NICU, I saw so many babies go in for Circ before discharge. They asked me several times when Boychild was going to get his. After the 2nd time, I got really upset with them, and they put a big "No Circ" sticker on his chart they didn't ask again.

Welcoming our twins :: born February 21, 2009 at 33 weeks! :
C-section due to pre-eclampsia and HELLP:
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#19 of 19 Old 08-17-2010, 03:29 PM
 
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One of the big reasons my husband chose not to circ. DS was becuase DS was a preemie and spent a month in the NICU. After that, DH felt that DS had been though enough already. When DS was a week old and still in the NICU, I showed DH the circ. video and that sealed the deal. Yes, I totally preyed on DH's emotions, but allowed DS to stay intact!

"In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer"
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