Do It For His Future Wife??!!?? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 48 Old 09-29-2010, 02:08 AM - Thread Starter
 
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So now everyone is stating that girls are going to be mortified to see an uncircumcized penis. Any other excuses people can give me?

 

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#2 of 48 Old 09-29-2010, 02:46 AM
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Since just as many (or more) boys are being left whole, an intact penis is not going to be the shocker it once might have been. I might add that a young lady's first penis is going to be an awkward thing whether it's cut or not.
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#3 of 48 Old 09-29-2010, 02:58 AM
 
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And some girls won't know whether it's circumcised or not. Seriously. Dh and I knew so little about circumcision that we didn't know whether HE was circumcised, when we were first learning about circumcision. Given the rate of circumcision in the USA today - it's quite likely that half of his classmates (or even fewer) will be circumcised. In some areas, the circumcised males will be a definite minority.

On the other hand, as we learned more about how infant circumcision can affect the adult male penis, we realized that some of the intimacy issues we've had are a direct result of dh's infant circumcision. We will be dealing with these challenges for the rest of our married life, and it is lousy on every level.

Continue to research that aspect of circumcision (make sure you're not visiting circ fetishist sites). There is quite a bit of research out there which talks about the negative impacts of circumcision on sex for both the man and his partner. [Caveat: Some men and partners find no problems and no difference - but what if your son and/or his partner(s) are among those who do have problems?]

So maybe the thing to do, is DON'T circumcise - for the sake of your son's future wife. I sure wish someone had talked my MIL out of circumcising my husband, and I know he wishes that too.

ETA: What if you put the $$ you would have spent (or your insurance would have spent) on a circumcision, into a fund -- and when your son is 18, if he wants a circumcision, he can have one on his adult penis,with adequate pain care, and with no worries about fecal matter etc. on his healing penis. I suspect that your son will tell you he'd rather apply the funds to his college education, but you're covered if he wants a circumcision at that point in his life, and it would be HIS decision as an adult.

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#4 of 48 Old 09-29-2010, 07:39 AM
 
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Now that I have mostly restored my foreskin, I can say my wife has experienced both circumcised and foreskin sex. She much, much prefers foreskin sex. So much better feelings, no lube needed, more to enjoy.

So RIC him for his future wife is not a valid arguement...unless the parents know what his future partner's preferences will be when their son is an infant. Since there is no way they can know that, there is no way they should RIC.

His body, his choice.
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#5 of 48 Old 09-29-2010, 08:05 AM
 
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I got that from the nurse in the hospital when I had my first son. I got the "he can give her cervial cancer" line repeatedly. I just while inside...

This is a tree on fire with love, but it's still scary since most people think love only looks like one thing instead of the whole world. *
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#6 of 48 Old 09-29-2010, 09:22 AM
 
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Originally Posted by alicia9178 View Post
So now everyone is stating that girls are going to be mortified to see an uncircumcized penis. Any other excuses people can give me?
How about not doing it for the sake of his wife. Have you mentioned to these folks that the US is the only industrialized country where circumcision is even common? What do they have to say about that?
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#7 of 48 Old 09-29-2010, 09:24 AM
 
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I got that from the nurse in the hospital when I had my first son. I got the "he can give her cervial cancer" line repeatedly. I just while inside...
He can get a vaccine for that if he or she wants it. Or choose any other option to avoid cervical cancer which may also be available. Is what I would have told them.
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#8 of 48 Old 09-29-2010, 09:25 AM
 
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How about not doing it for the sake of his wife. Have you mentioned to these folks that the US is the only industrialized country where circumcision is even common? What do they have to say about that?
I'm very grateful that my in-laws left my husband the way he was born.

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#9 of 48 Old 09-29-2010, 10:20 AM
 
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He can get a vaccine for that if he or she wants it. Or choose any other option to avoid cervical cancer which may also be available. Is what I would have told them.
Well, this was 10.5 years ago... And I don't advocate for vaccination either

This is a tree on fire with love, but it's still scary since most people think love only looks like one thing instead of the whole world. *
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#10 of 48 Old 09-29-2010, 10:23 AM
 
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IDK who this "everyone" might be that you're referring to, but my response to them would be that you've decided to leave him intact and it's not up for discussion.

I have had more than one intact partner and I strongly prefer intact men.

Would you get labioplasty on a baby girl if "everyone" was telling you men wouldn't like the look of her intact vulva when she grows up?
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#11 of 48 Old 09-29-2010, 10:28 AM
 
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Well, this was 10.5 years ago... And I don't advocate for vaccination either
Which is fine but imfind it ironic that medical professionals would make such a claim when we know there are other options that the individual can choose from down the road. I am certain that once there is an HIV vaccine and it is all but eliminated from the population we'll still be hearing about circumcising for that too.
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#12 of 48 Old 09-29-2010, 10:30 AM
 
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Since just as many (or more) boys are being left whole, an intact penis is not going to be the shocker it once might have been. I might add that a young lady's first penis is going to be an awkward thing whether it's cut or not.
Yup. And I personally (TMI coming) prefer intact men.
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#13 of 48 Old 09-29-2010, 11:19 AM
 
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How about leaving it up to him and his future partner???

They might have a preference that is different than yours and I would hope you don't plan on taking advantage of your son's penis - why would your preference matter?

Victim of Birth Rape & Coerced ribboncesarean.gifUnnecesareanribboncesarean.gif What makes people think they can cut up someone else's genitals? nocirc.gif
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#14 of 48 Old 09-29-2010, 11:40 AM
 
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Yup. And I personally (TMI coming) prefer intact men.

This is a tree on fire with love, but it's still scary since most people think love only looks like one thing instead of the whole world. *
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#15 of 48 Old 09-29-2010, 12:11 PM
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So now everyone is stating that girls are going to be mortified to see an uncircumcized penis. Any other excuses people can give me?
Oh my...no words!
I could have told you SO much about the "future wife" thing if I heard someone giving me that reason. As a wife, I SO wish my husband were intact...
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#16 of 48 Old 09-29-2010, 01:13 PM
 
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I always thought cir started to inhibit pleasure, not enhance. i don't see the logic in this at all. Plus, he likely won't be married for years and years. Why put him through pain as a defenseless baby?

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#17 of 48 Old 09-29-2010, 01:20 PM
 
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Isn't it hard to tell the difference at first glance when the penis is erect? The foreskin "pulls back" or something, right? (please correct me if I'm wrong!!!) So, it wouldn't make THAT much a difference unless they're just lounging around naked...

And, as others have said, the first few times I dealt with a penis it was awkward...it wouldn't have mattered if he were circ'd or not! It's not like lacking a foreskin is going to make a girl feel right at home or anything...

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#18 of 48 Old 09-29-2010, 01:27 PM
 
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Such a silly argument. You're going to cut your son's penis just because of what some mystery person in the future might or might not think? The intact penis is not gross, disgusting, or weird, and someone who thinks so isn't the kind of shallow person who needs to be with your son anyway. My husband is intact and I love it.
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#19 of 48 Old 09-29-2010, 01:32 PM
 
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I was at one time my husbands future wife - had I been asked how I prefer my penii I would have told my FMIL "whole" - she didn't ask me now we both get to suffer for that arrogance.

Victim of Birth Rape & Coerced ribboncesarean.gifUnnecesareanribboncesarean.gif What makes people think they can cut up someone else's genitals? nocirc.gif
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#20 of 48 Old 09-29-2010, 02:22 PM
 
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How about leaving it up to him and his future partner???

They might have a preference that is different than yours and I would hope you don't plan on taking advantage of your son's penis - why would your preference matter?

oAlisha- eternal companion to mike:, mother to three energetic boys (02):, (05), and (07) and one sweet little girl 3/13.  Two in heaven.7/21/2010, 11/05/2011 mecry.gif.

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#21 of 48 Old 09-29-2010, 02:25 PM
 
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I wish my husband had not had it done.

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Cautiously expecting Dec 2014!

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#22 of 48 Old 09-29-2010, 03:00 PM
 
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And really, if a woman or man would think less of my sons simply because of their foreskins (or lack thereof, honestly, were they circed)... Not to be an overly choosy mom, but I kind of want better for my boys when it comes to life partners .

I mean, a preference is one thing. But it doesn't change who they are or all the reasons you commit yourself to someone.

Me+DH+DS1+DS2+Dog=me and a house full of guys, which is really just peachy, thanks.
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#23 of 48 Old 09-29-2010, 03:03 PM
 
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i personally prefer intact
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Unassisted birthing, atheist, poly, bi WOHM to 4 wonderful, smart homeschooling kids Wes (14) Seth (7) Pandora Moonlilly (2) and Nevermore Stargazer (11/2012)  Married to awesome SAH DH.

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#24 of 48 Old 09-29-2010, 03:44 PM
 
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Originally Posted by alicia9178 View Post
So now everyone is stating that girls are going to be mortified to see an uncircumcized penis. Any other excuses people can give me?
I've seen some intact men on here write that a foreskin is a great "shallow woman filter"...meaning that if she's going to leave him for the way his penis looks, then she wasn't worth keeping.

I've also heard that many women prefer intact men (I've only ever been with dh who is circed, so I have no basis for comparison).

I would also say that if it's bugging him by the time he's old enough for girls to be looking at his penis so closely, HE can choose have it done then with proper anesthesia (and not at a time when he'll have an open wound in a diaper!!). It's HIS body, it should be HIS choice...not anyone elses.

AND, I would say that since the circ rate is dropping in this country, girls are more likely to see both types of penises....I just noticed that you live in CA...the circ rate here is VERY low. Only about 33% of boys in this state are circed, so your son would actually be in the minority if you choose to have him circed.

Mama to Nell (11/15/06) and Maggie (10/9/10) . AFTER 2.5 YEARS, I AM AN AUNTIE!!! joy.gifHOORAY TEAR78 and welcome Anika and Brand New Baby Boy!!!!  Circumcision: the more you know, the worse it is; please leave the decision up to your son!

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#25 of 48 Old 09-29-2010, 04:54 PM
 
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The shallow woman filter is definitely true. I have an extreme preference for intact men, three of my four long term SO's have been intact, but I would never rule someone out for not being intact, that's just silly.

This is a tree on fire with love, but it's still scary since most people think love only looks like one thing instead of the whole world. *
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#26 of 48 Old 09-29-2010, 05:58 PM
 
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Your son is more than his genitalia. He will marry someone who loves his whole being. Intact, just a little more to love
By the time your son marries, shouldn't be much of an issue?

And what if he met a European, Australian, Canadian, Indian, South American, etc woman? Intact is normal to most people in the world.
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#27 of 48 Old 09-29-2010, 07:39 PM
 
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Whoever "everyone" is, this statement to you is about THEM, not about your son or any future partners he may have.
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#28 of 48 Old 09-29-2010, 07:51 PM
 
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I wish my husband had not had it done.
Me, too. His mohel took off way too much.
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#29 of 48 Old 09-29-2010, 08:51 PM
 
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Isn't it hard to tell the difference at first glance when the penis is erect? The foreskin "pulls back" or something, right? (please correct me if I'm wrong!!!) So, it wouldn't make THAT much a difference unless they're just lounging around naked...
This is true (for most guys). I didn't even realize a former bf was intact until several years after we'd broken up when I learned about circ. I never saw it with its hat on!

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#30 of 48 Old 09-29-2010, 08:53 PM
 
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Isn't it hard to tell the difference at first glance when the penis is erect? The foreskin "pulls back" or something, right? (please correct me if I'm wrong!!!) So, it wouldn't make THAT much a difference unless they're just lounging around naked...
Some intact men are uncovered when erect, some are covered unless it is moved back by something, and some cannot expose their glans at all. Individual variation.

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