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#1 of 31 Old 12-02-2010, 09:20 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I am pregnant with baby number three and I am thinking of the possiblity of this baby being a boy.

 

I live in a community that does not do circumsions. The closest place is 3 hours away by car.

 

I really don't know much about taking care of a boy with uncircumsized penis. How do you get poop and pee out from between the penis and the foreskin? I was thinking prehaps....a Q-tip? I really don't know, and haven't ever changed a baby boy that wasn't (back in my babysitting days all boys were done).

 

This is a big worry to me. I feel dumb even asking the question....please don't flame me.

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#2 of 31 Old 12-02-2010, 09:31 AM
 
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It is really so easy, you don't need to do anything special, just treat the penis like a finger. Wipe it down, no retracting, q-tips, just literally wipe the poop off the outside and that is all the care that is needed. 


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#3 of 31 Old 12-02-2010, 09:35 AM
 
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I just wipe (the outside) as you do the rest of the parts.  No digging in with a q-tip!  They are self-cleaning.

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#4 of 31 Old 12-02-2010, 09:56 AM
 
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No one will flame you! :)

 

You can find excellent resources here at the "case against circumcision" forum - but my5 mo old DS is intact - no special cleaning required at all. In fact, he's been easier to care for than any of my friends whose boys are circ'ed. (All of whom have had issues with having to push back skin and clean, make sure it doesn't re-attach, etc.)

 

Like PP said, I wipe it down like his fingers and toes. It's never a problem.  I found myself very emotional about keeping him intact ... perhaps something for another thread but I'm really happy he's whole.

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#5 of 31 Old 12-02-2010, 09:59 AM
 
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Once you can retract the foreskin, I think you're supposed to do it at bathtime to clean (that's what my doc said and what my intact hubby does:)).  However, my almost 3 year old rarely lets us do it! It's no big deal, has not been an issue at all. Just like PP said, wipe/clean like a finger (or intact penis).


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#6 of 31 Old 12-02-2010, 10:30 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by whozeyermamma View Post

No one will flame you! :)

 

You can find excellent resources here at the "case against circumcision" forum - but my5 mo old DS is intact - no special cleaning required at all. In fact, he's been easier to care for than any of my friends whose boys are circ'ed. (All of whom have had issues with having to push back skin and clean, make sure it doesn't re-attach, etc.)

 

Like PP said, I wipe it down like his fingers and toes. It's never a problem.  I found myself very emotional about keeping him intact ... perhaps something for another thread but I'm really happy he's whole.



Thanks for the tips. I have mixed feelings about not circumsizing. I have never really seen a boy/adult man (only very eldery men) without it done. I don't want my baby to be the only one that isn't in a group that is, or be the only one that is in a group that isn't.  I realize that most people feel that it is cosmetic, but I do feel it definitely has some hygenic reasons too, and I can't shake the feeling that being done is cleaner. That's the way I was brought up. 

 

I am hoping to learn more about it and hopefully feel better about it.

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#7 of 31 Old 12-02-2010, 10:36 AM
 
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Originally Posted by momtoS View PostHow do you get poop and pee out from between the penis and the foreskin?


It's airtight, no need to even worry about a soiled penis, nature designed it just right.  You'll see winky.gif

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#8 of 31 Old 12-02-2010, 10:38 AM
 
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You can google pictures.  My 2nd partner was whole.  I remember looking at it and wondering what was wrong with it.  Now I look at cut ones and I'm searching for signs of damage (scars, lop-sidedness, I've even seen a whole piece missing from the glans).

 

I completely understand your POV and wish you a successful paradigm shift.  :)


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#9 of 31 Old 12-02-2010, 10:43 AM
 
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please don't retract- ever. The foreskin is attached to the head of the penis and retracting will tear it and can cause extreme pain, bleeding and problems! Watch your doctor very carefully and don't let them retract either. Definitely check out the Case Against Circumcision forum. Only clean what you can see!


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#10 of 31 Old 12-02-2010, 10:56 AM
 
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DS is intact and I come from the intact culture, and you really don't need to worry about cleaning the tip. For the long time the foreskin does not retract so nothing gets in there. I just wipe it down, once it separates from the glans you can teach your child to rinse it out when in the shower. No extensive digging and cleaning is ever needed.

I find that if the person's hygiene is adequate, and sexual behavior is not reckless, being intact is better in adulthood (my ex BF was intact but DH is cut). The glans is more sensitive and less likely to experience dryness if the foreskin protects it. And currently even with the widespread circumcision in the US culture the majority of the human males are intact.


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#11 of 31 Old 12-02-2010, 12:10 PM
 
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No one will flame you! :)

 

You can find excellent resources here at the "case against circumcision" forum - but my5 mo old DS is intact - no special cleaning required at all. In fact, he's been easier to care for than any of my friends whose boys are circ'ed. (All of whom have had issues with having to push back skin and clean, make sure it doesn't re-attach, etc.)

 

Like PP said, I wipe it down like his fingers and toes. It's never a problem.  I found myself very emotional about keeping him intact ... perhaps something for another thread but I'm really happy he's whole.



Thanks for the tips. I have mixed feelings about not circumsizing. I have never really seen a boy/adult man (only very eldery men) without it done. I don't want my baby to be the only one that isn't in a group that is, or be the only one that is in a group that isn't.  I realize that most people feel that it is cosmetic, but I do feel it definitely has some hygenic reasons too, and I can't shake the feeling that being done is cleaner. That's the way I was brought up. 

 

I am hoping to learn more about it and hopefully feel better about it.


I don't think you'll have to worry anymore about him being the odd one out like you might have had to, say, 20 years ago. These days the breakdown is more like 50/50 in the US.


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#12 of 31 Old 12-02-2010, 01:33 PM
 
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I felt the same way you did initially - that it was somehow "cleaner" - but after I did my research I was 100 percent convinced against it. Check out the circ forum - lots of great info, (this thread will probably be moved there ..)

 

... but in a nutshell (ba-DUM-pah!) - I'd say one of my biggest objections to it is the risk of complications - very little reliable info is available on complications - many studies only followed up with patients for a few weeks - but the American Academy of Family Physicians found a range up to 35 percent. (can't find the link now but will look..) There are many other arguments - the foreskin serves an important purpose for the penis and for intercourse - not to mention the pain the baby feels during the procedure.

 

Another thing that struck me after my son was born is how large the foreskin is - I can tell where the head of his penis is under the foreskin and cutting it off would be removing a very large amount of tissue, comparatively speaking. (I've seen something that on an adult male it's the size of a 3/5 index card.) I have to say I think his penis is adorable! :)

 

Good luck to you -and do follow up with your questions - everyone there was very helpful to me in my decision.

 

edited to add; also - I can say that the numbers are probably close to 50-50 - I know a half dozen kids my 7 yr old's age that are not circed ....


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#13 of 31 Old 12-02-2010, 10:41 PM
 
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Talking about a different paradigm... I grew up in Brazil where circumcision is not as common. So it turned out that my father, brothers and most other male around were intact. DH is also intact (american child of foreigner parents).

 

So here is what I feel when I see a cut one." Humm, It's NAKED, without protection, totally exposed!" And those, for me (paradigm,) are the conditions that make it unsanitary. 

 

My boy is 10 mo and intact. I never thought I had to do anything about it, as in my mind, the skin is what protects it. My mom talks about the need to retract the skin during shower for when the boy is older. But as I understood, it requires just light parental oversight to make sure the boy is washing it during bath. The tendency is that the boy will tend to play with it and that's how the skin will retract. I'm not very sure of how it goes. In my case, our LO has a father who knows "how it goes". In yours, as a baby, you shouldn't bother with anything, as an older boy... we will get there.

 

Hope you have a new gender added to your crew!

 


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#14 of 31 Old 12-03-2010, 01:40 AM
 
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You don't have to do anything with it. Wipe it off if it gets smeared in poo, otherwise letting him sit in the bath every second day or so will keep it clean. Poo does not get inside the foreskin. It is not necessary to retract and rinse underneath once it becomes retractable, this is something he can do himself in the shower when he is a teenager - if he is retractable by that time .

 

I live in a non-circing culture, seriously - no one here goes fiddling with their boys' penises to check whether they are retractable or not! I have never heard anybody mention a single problem with their sons' forskins, and I have never heard anybody worry about it before I first saw this forum. I have two sons, one grownup and one little, both whole and with their foreskins, and we have never had a single worry or problem with them.

 

As circumcision is fortunately becoming less common in the US your son will not be the odd one out. And you never know - maybe he marries a European girl when he grows up? Both he and she will appreciate him having his foreskin. :)

 

What looks normal to you will change when you get more used to seeing your son's normal penis. I have never seen a circ'ed penis, but I am sure that seeing the glans of a small boy would be super weird to me. For me seeing the glans only happens in sexual situations and that doesn't mix with a small boy.

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#15 of 31 Old 12-03-2010, 04:27 AM
 
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My ds is 8 and I never had any issue with his normal penis.You just wipe off any poop when they are in the diaper stage.There is no need to retract.Retracting or cleaning with Q's will cause irritation and infection. If irritation and/or infection occurs you TREAT it,and run from any doctor who suggests circumsion as a treatment.

 

Over time you will become used to having an child with normal genitals.Being cut will become the abnormal.Now that I understand what circ is I can see the damage that was done to others.

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#16 of 31 Old 12-03-2010, 07:53 AM
 
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I was concerned about keeping him clean before he was born, but once he was here I realized how easy it is.  No need to pay any special attention to it, and honestly his balls are the hardest part of his genitals to keep clean!

 

The circ rate in the us has dropped to 32.5% and will hopefully keep dropping.  So your son will be in good company.

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#17 of 31 Old 12-03-2010, 11:51 AM
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Please, please keep reading about the issue. Please don't cut any little boy you may have.  The CAC forum here is excellent, with many many links to great resources.

 

I have a two week old boy.  My husband (half Jewish) is circed and the only man I've been with, and I have an older daughter, so dealing with any tiny penis is novel, but honestly, I can barely tell anything about it.  It looks like a toddler finger.  I agree, NEVER retract; boys will do it on their own in their own time, some quite older.  We just wipe his bum and occasionally across the front, like a finger, but the poo hasn't made it up there anyway :)  I can't imagine dealing with an open wound in his diapers.  It's sooooo simple this way, and I know it's HIS body and HIS right to keep it the way he was born.  PLEASE keep reading and I'm sure you'll agree.  Don't let cultural prejudices guide you; get the facts.

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#18 of 31 Old 12-03-2010, 11:55 AM
 
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The foreskin is fused to the penis and isn't retractable for years. Usually by then your son would be able to clean it himself. For infants, it's important NOT to try and retract the foreskin. That can be painful and cause damage or infection. Honestly, the maintenance of an intact penis is MUCH easier than that of one that is not intact. There is no open wound to deal with, which means there is no special treatment. Just wash it the way you would wash a finger. The ONLY thing I ever do 'differently' is to make sure to be gentle and not wipe up toward the body because that may cause friction where the foreskin is still attached to the penis. But I'll tell you a little secret, so far DS is much easier to keep clean and wipe during a diaper change then DD was. Definitely make your way over to 'The Case Against Circumcision' forum. There is lots of good info and knowledgeable people there to help you out.

 

ETA: There is a reason why the foreskin stays fused for so long. Presumably it is because infants can't clean themselves. The design is actually quite flawless when left in it's original state. Poop doesn't get in between the foreskin and the penis just like nothing can get underneath your finger nails unless forced. So there would never be any reason or need to retract it in infancy. We don't rip off our fingernails to clean the delicate skin underneath, right? It's a very similar design.


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I realize that most people feel that it is cosmetic, but I do feel it definitely has some hygenic reasons too, and I can't shake the feeling that being done is cleaner.


If we're talking about newborn/infant circumcision, please stop and think about this for a moment. If a baby boy is intact, then hygiene consists of wiping a penis like a finger at a diaper change. That's all. If a baby boy is circ'd, then we're talking about an open wound in a diaper. There is absolutely nothing hygienic about an open wound in a diaper.

 

Honestly, I have two intact boys. One is almost 18. The other is 5. I've never had a hint of trouble with either of them, and cleaning them (back when it was my job) was the single easiest part of diaper changes. Girls are harder (folds and getting poop out of the labia). The scrotums of the boys were a PITA (getting all the poop wiped off, when it catches in all the wrinkles). But, cleaning the penis of an intact boy is a piece of cake. I had no idea until a couple of years ago that people actually worried about this. But, I guess my doctors were "intact friendly" and didn't spread a bunch of misinformation about how tearing the foreskin to "clean" was healthy or hygienic. Without that nonsense being out in the community (both medical and otherwise), this would pretty much be a non-issue.


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Originally Posted by Cherry

No need to pay any special attention to it, and honestly his balls are the hardest part of his genitals to keep clean!


 So true!  I think ds has managed to get poop on his penis exactly once so far, but his testicles take the brunt of every explosion.  lol.gif


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#21 of 31 Old 12-03-2010, 12:22 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by whozeyermamma View Post

No one will flame you! :)

 

You can find excellent resources here at the "case against circumcision" forum - but my5 mo old DS is intact - no special cleaning required at all. In fact, he's been easier to care for than any of my friends whose boys are circ'ed. (All of whom have had issues with having to push back skin and clean, make sure it doesn't re-attach, etc.)

 

Like PP said, I wipe it down like his fingers and toes. It's never a problem.  I found myself very emotional about keeping him intact ... perhaps something for another thread but I'm really happy he's whole.



Thanks for the tips. I have mixed feelings about not circumsizing. I have never really seen a boy/adult man (only very eldery men) without it done. I don't want my baby to be the only one that isn't in a group that is, or be the only one that is in a group that isn't.  I realize that most people feel that it is cosmetic, but I do feel it definitely has some hygenic reasons too, and I can't shake the feeling that being done is cleaner. That's the way I was brought up. 

 

I am hoping to learn more about it and hopefully feel better about it.



Just wanted to address a couple more things. First off, it isn't 'cleaner'. It's actually LESS sanitary when the foreskin is removed. Think of it this way: the foreskin is a protective layer. It's job is to keep the head of the penis (the most sensitive part) protected from fabric, cold, wind, AND bacteria. The foreskin is a SELF cleaning mucous membrane, just like the vagina. It would be silly of us to think that an exposed cervix is 'cleaner' because we know that the vagina does a very important job of protecting it and keeping it clean. 'Clean' doesn't equal 'soap' when you're talking about a mucous membrane because the bacteria there is there to kill the foreign bacteria that slips by. Soap just washes away that good bacteria, thus making the exposed parts more susceptible to infection.

 

Secondly, to address the worry of him being different, I'll just echo what others have said about the ratio being around 50/50 and it's becoming more and more common to keep your boys intact. So by the time your son reaches high school the ratio could be 80/20. But more importantly, the fact is that boys don't stand around comparing their penises. They just don't. I think it's much more important to teach our children how to deal with cruel and ignorant teasing, then it is to push for all of them to 'look the same'. Isn't that just reinforcing the problem? And one day, if your son comes home and expresses interest in why he looks 'different' from his peers, ask yourself this: would you rather explain to him why you left his body the way it was at birth, or explain to him why you chose to mutilate a very private part of his body to make him look like everyone else? At which point he'll probably point out to you that he doesn't look like everyone else. Either way.

 

DP is intact and although he had one or two brief encounters of teasing growing up, if you asked him now he'd tell you how great full he is to have his foreskin. Your son will thank you for keeping his penis intact, sparing him pain and allowing him full normal sexual function later on in life.


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#22 of 31 Old 12-03-2010, 12:25 PM
 
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Once you can retract the foreskin, I think you're supposed to do it at bathtime to clean (that's what my doc said and what my intact hubby does:)).  However, my almost 3 year old rarely lets us do it! It's no big deal, has not been an issue at all. Just like PP said, wipe/clean like a finger (or intact penis).



ummm boys cant usually retract until 10 y/o or so.


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#23 of 31 Old 12-03-2010, 12:29 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by porcelina View Post

Once you can retract the foreskin, I think you're supposed to do it at bathtime to clean (that's what my doc said and what my intact hubby does:)).  However, my almost 3 year old rarely lets us do it! It's no big deal, has not been an issue at all. Just like PP said, wipe/clean like a finger (or intact penis).



ummm boys cant usually retract until 10 y/o or so.



Boys can be retractable as early as 3 but that is quite young. 10 would probably be a better estimate, but I think most boys begin starting to retract around age 5 or 6. There is a range, but infants aren't retractable, ever.


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#24 of 31 Old 12-04-2010, 03:21 PM
 
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Quote:Originally Posted by marinak1977 
DS is intact and I come from the intact culture, and you really don't need to worry about cleaning the tip. For the long time the foreskin does not retract so nothing gets in there. I just wipe it down, once it separates from the glans you can teach your child to rinse it out when in the shower. No extensive digging and cleaning is ever needed.



yeahthat.gif it is very simple. Wipe like a finger from base to tip. If it is a particularly messy blow out then a quick rinse in the tub will get it.
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Quote:Originally Posted by porcelina 
Once you can retract the foreskin, I think you're supposed to do it at bathtime to clean (that's what my doc said and what my intact hubby does:)).  However, my almost 3 year old rarely lets us do it! It's no big deal, has not been an issue at all. Just like PP said, wipe/clean like a finger (or intact penis)

No one but the owner of the penis is ever supposed to retract it. Watch your health care provider to make sure they never retract him, retraction = any movement at all back toward the body. My ds is 6 yo about half way retractable from what I have seen him do so I still havnt had the retract, rinse, replace talk with him yet.

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I really don't know much about taking care of a boy with uncircumsized penis. How do you get poop and pee out from between the penis and the foreskin? I was thinking prehaps....a Q-tip? I really don't know, and haven't ever changed a baby boy that wasn't (back in my babysitting days all boys were done).

There is no way poo can get in there since the foreskin is fused to the glans at birth like the fingernail is to the nail bed (they must tear this loose to do a circ) pee comes out just like normal through the glans then out through the sphincter at the tip of the foreskin. It looses like the anus to allow urine to pass through then clamps back down when he is done. As he ages the foreskin will gradually release from the glans followed by the sphincter at the tip loosening up. Because of this you may see ballooning when he urinates it is not a cause for concern and is part of the normal separation process for some boys. By the time he reaches adulthood the foreskin will have totally released from the glans and the sphincter will no longer be as tight allowing for total retraction.


It is in no way cleaner to be circed. The foreskin protects the glans from germs and from being rubbed on clothing causing loss of sensation over time.

 
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#25 of 31 Old 12-04-2010, 03:36 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post



 


If we're talking about newborn/infant circumcision, please stop and think about this for a moment. If a baby boy is intact, then hygiene consists of wiping a penis like a finger at a diaper change. That's all. If a baby boy is circ'd, then we're talking about an open wound in a diaper. There is absolutely nothing hygienic about an open wound in a diaper.

 

 


this was what I was thinking, too.  Circumcised newborns have a much higher chance of getting infections/not getting clean enough after a bowel movement.  You have to wipe poop off a cut, possibly still bleeding or scabbed area.  At least with the foreskin, the tip of the penis is protected. 

 

I have 3 intact boys (and an intact DH) and hygiene has never been a concern. 


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#26 of 31 Old 12-04-2010, 03:36 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by momtoS View Post





Thanks for the tips. I have mixed feelings about not circumsizing. I have never really seen a boy/adult man (only very eldery men) without it done. I don't want my baby to be the only one that isn't in a group that is, or be the only one that is in a group that isn't.  I realize that most people feel that it is cosmetic, but I do feel it definitely has some hygenic reasons too, and I can't shake the feeling that being done is cleaner. That's the way I was brought up. 

 

I am hoping to learn more about it and hopefully feel better about it.





The latest stats on circ are saying only around 40% are done now so odds are your ds will not even be close to being the only one intact especially since you dont live where they circ. There really are no hygenic reasons that was all started because of the high circ rates to stop boys from masturbating (which we all know didnt work worth a dime) if the foreskin is left alone the odds of him having an issue are nearly zero.

Remember the rules:
1) never retract him
2) never allow anyone else to do so

If something does come up knowing what it might be can help you to not panic, or that is the case with me. Here is a thread to look over so that you can see what is normal and what might be an infection and how to treat it or not treat it as the case may be http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=764732

I see you have been here since 06 have you ventured over to the Case Against Circ forum? You really should and read all about what is lost with circ and the very real risks of circing vs leaving a boy intact. Definitely watch the circ video and see the agony boys go through when they are circed greensad.gif

 
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#27 of 31 Old 12-05-2010, 06:50 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by momtoS View Post

. I feel dumb even asking the question....please don't flame me.



MomtoS,  You should not feel that way!  Good for you for asking questions and not blindly following what family or doctors may be telling you.  There are some great websites full of information on the internet. I would encourage to read, read, read, and if you have questions please feel free to ask them here.  Check these out for starters:

www.nocirc.org

www.circumstitions.org

www.cirp.org

www.intactamerica.org

 

Circumcision is purely cosmetic, and should be a decision for the adult male to make, should he choose. Precious few do, but there are millions of circumcised men who are very unhappy that the choice was stolen from them.

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#28 of 31 Old 12-05-2010, 08:38 PM
 
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My son is 21-months old and I've never had to do anything special and have never had a problem. Caring for an uncircumcised boy is a piece of cake.


Sandy (41), Mama to Oscar (Feb 2009) and Aria (April 2012), infertility and miscarriage survivor brokenheart.gif 11/25/10 and brokenheart.gif 6/22/11.

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#29 of 31 Old 12-06-2010, 07:53 AM
 
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Caring for an uncircumsized penis is just not an issue in Germany. It never comes up in our well-baby visits, and I've never thought to even ask about it. Just one look an an uncirced baby penis makes it clear to anyone that nothing is going to get in there.


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#30 of 31 Old 12-06-2010, 08:36 AM
 
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My not quite 3 yo has retracted his all the way before on his own. He thought it was quite hilarious to run around naked showing everyone his new "toy" lol
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by sosurreal09 View Post





ummm boys cant usually retract until 10 y/o or so.





Quote:
Originally Posted by MammaB21 View Post


 



Boys can be retractable as early as 3 but that is quite young. 10 would probably be a better estimate, but I think most boys begin starting to retract around age 5 or 6. There is a range, but infants aren't retractable, ever.


As for the OP, I used to think that circumsized penises were just how things were. I had come across a few boys in my formative years that were uncirc'd, but to me I just figured they were just a variation of normal...it never occurred to me that there WAS a difference until I got married and had my first. My first is circumsized. I hate that I did that to him. My second isn't. And any future boys will remain intact. Someday I will probably have to explain to him why he's circumsized and most of his friends/his brother(s) aren't.

 


 


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