Found out why my sister circed my nephew... - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 10 Old 01-02-2011, 04:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My nephew just turned three.  When he was born, he had a very tiny penis, so they were gonna hold off a couple months before circing him.  At some point, my sister started to reconsider, but then had him circed at about three months because he was having problems.  We never really talked about it since then, but the subject came up today when she assumed I would be circing my son who's due this month.  Apparently, somebody had told her she has to retract and clean at every diaper change, which caused tears and infections, and that's why she felt she had to circ him- it was just too much, the puss, the bleeding, the crying, at every diaper change.  I didn't know this was going on- I live 2 1/2 hours away.  THAT'S why she ended up circing him, when she was on the fence about it.  duh.gif  My nephew has since had two "corrective surgeries" on his circ, 'cause the skin keeps growing together funny, and will eventually need another "corrective surgery" when he gets older (she's sick of the surgeries, she's hoping he will outgrow his problems as him and his penis get bigger and not need any corrections, however, at this point, without any corrections, he's gonna have some issues with his sex life as an adult).  All because her anti-circ pediatrition (who, incidently, has FOUR uncut sons) gave her some rotten advice.  This blows my mind.  So senseless.  greensad.gif


I pray for the day Family Court recognizes that CHILDREN have rights, parents only have PRIVILEGES.  Only then, will I know my child is safe.
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#2 of 10 Old 01-02-2011, 06:28 PM
 
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Poor little baby.


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#3 of 10 Old 01-02-2011, 07:01 PM
 
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I;m so sorry. Why did you doctor who knows better give such bad advice? I hope the little man heals properly and can have a healthy sex life later on and no more pain as a little boy.

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#4 of 10 Old 01-02-2011, 07:27 PM
 
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That poor sweet baby.  Can you imagine how that poor baby felt at each diaper change?!?!?  


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#5 of 10 Old 01-26-2011, 06:19 AM
 
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Poor baby!  I honestly really do not understand how that happens though.  The skin is so firmly attached there on my little guys that I could not imagine trying to push it back and clean under it.  It would never occur to me to attempt to do that.  But she did get terrible advice.  Is there any way to contact that doctor before more babies are harmed?

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#6 of 10 Old 01-26-2011, 03:43 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MamitaM View Post

I;m so sorry. Why did you doctor who knows better give such bad advice? .



Why do you assume the doctor knows better? Forced retraction can cause problems, but it doesn't always do so. I know at least one man who was kept intact a long time ago, and I know his mom was told to retract and clean underneath, and that's what she did. He's around my age, and his mom only found out that was wrong when I mentioned it...after ds2 was born. It's quite likely that OP's sister's doctor did the same with all his boys, but was lucky enough not to encounter problems.


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#7 of 10 Old 01-27-2011, 03:10 PM
 
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A pamphlet I was given on newborn care from my hospital with DD2's birth (2009) gave those same instructions.  When I pointed out to the nurse that they were incorrect and that the correct procedure was: leave it alone, don't retract, and just wipe the outside like a finger and maybe a swish in the tub once every day or so with his bath; she told me that I was just "lucky" that my son never had any problems or infections--that she couldn't believe that I was so careless as to not clean under the foreskin with every diaper change. 

 

But, I did have a friend when DS was born who circumcised her sons for that reason--left #1 intact, followed those instructions and had problems; so she went ahead and had the little one done at birth.

 

Plus, if you really believe that you have to clean under and all that, well, the idea just feels yucky, so yes, go ahead and get it clipped...which is a lot of why some women do it.

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#8 of 10 Old 01-28-2011, 11:56 AM
 
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When my son was around 6 months, we went in for a check-up, and the ped intern said she was going to retract him. My claws came out, I picked him up, told her there was NO medical reason to do that to him. She was adamant that you had to do that, and told me her son was intact, and she *regretted* it because of all the problems they had had. I told her all the problems her son had were because she didn't know how to properly care for an intact penis and took my son and left. She was aghast at my behavior and was still sputtering that you *had* to clean under the foreskin; her ped had told her so!!... as I was walking out of the office.

 

I wish now I had been more patient and broke it all down for her and recommended Dr. Fleiss' book and all. If I hadn't stumbled across his book, I wouldn't have known any better either. I was just too upset and reactive at the time.


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#9 of 10 Old 01-28-2011, 07:24 PM
 
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It's so easy to be reactive in that situation. I was there. I argued with a Physician's Assistant. I talked to the doctor and gave info for the PA. But the first visit had me not wanting to continue. I understand. We are the Mama Bears protecting our precious cubs. It hurts me to even think about. I have 3 kids, both boys and a girl. Really different attitudes from medical personnel about their genitals.


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#10 of 10 Old 01-29-2011, 08:46 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Treece View Post

It's so easy to be reactive in that situation. I was there. I argued with a Physician's Assistant. I talked to the doctor and gave info for the PA. But the first visit had me not wanting to continue. I understand. We are the Mama Bears protecting our precious cubs. It hurts me to even think about. I have 3 kids, both boys and a girl. Really different attitudes from medical personnel about their genitals.

Yep... no one ever even tried to "retract" my dd's labia. I was warned to watch for adhesions but no one felt the need to do that to her. Such a weird double standard.
 


It's such a relief to finally trust yourself.
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