I found out yesterday that if a friend of mine has a baby boy, she has decided to leave the decision of whether to circ or not up to her DH, and he is leaning towards doing it, so that the baby will look like dad. I wanted to scream. Or cry. Or both. OMG
What I've decided to do instead - because this is SO out of character for her! - is to gently encourage her to research it further and insist that her DH do the same and then make the decision together. I also want to include a document or copy of a post that I saw referenced here (and now can't find) that suggests ways to make circumcision less painful for baby, should they decide to go ahead with it.
Also, any suggestions for resources that give info about circ in an approachable way? I'm thinking of including a link to the Penn&Teller show as a place for her to start, because it's clearly anti-circ, and includes lots of information, but is also funny and approachable. Alot of the resources that come to mind first for me are militantly anti-circ, and while I'm all kinds of on board with that, I think it sets the wrong tone if one is trying to change someone's mind. Yanno?
I'm Heather, newly married (12/5/10) to James!
We are currently "mama" and "papa" to Maisy and soon... parents to BABY NEW YEAR 2012!! We're happily planning a and intend to
It's a terrible position to be in. Been there.
This video is really great: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ceht-3xu84I&feature=player_embedded IIRC, it explains why circ continues in spite of being a barbaric hold out from the past.
To help you & she understand the position she's in, this may be helpful. It's just for mother's though. Most men probalby couldn't handle it: the vulnerability of men: http://www.udonet.com/circumcision/vincent/vulnerability_of_men.html
Drmomma.org sends out penis packs. They ask you to cover the cost but there's a list if you can't afford it. Maybe offer to get her one & there'd be something in there she could share w/ her husband? http://www.drmomma.org/p/info-packs.html
There are a number of pamphlets here that explain things w/o a lot of emotion, largely just the facts: http://nocirc.org/publish/ You can view them & see if there's something you think would help. Perhaps she could even print something she thinks her dh would respond well to.
Lastly, I remember a thread about making it better for the newborn, but don't recall much more than that. Perhaps talk to her about the fact that there's no right way to do a wrong thing?
Again, it's a terrible spot to be in. Hope some of this helps.
Heather, there is simply no method to make a circumcision painless.
Neonate's systems are just too fragle to give them general anesthesia. It could kill them.
Analgesia (awake during the procedure) is usually lidocaine. Lidocaine is an acid and as such, it stings viciously when it is injected. Imagine a bee sting on tender genital parts and you'll get the idea.
Lidocaine when used is injected at five different points around the shaft of the penis so it's like getting stung five times. It's little wonder the child screams during this and this may be the reason so few doctors give any analgesic at all.
That's the end of the list of effective pain management options.
Some doctors use EMLA (Eutectic Mixture of Local Analgesics) for the procedure. But EMLA creme was not designed for surgery. It was designed for minimizing the pain of injections. Circumcision is a whole different class. Also, few doctors even give it time to become efffective. The procedure should not begin until the EMLA has had 20 minutes to work. Most doctors are in a rush since they perform circumcisions in the early mornings when they do their rounds. They need to get off to their offices for their early appointments. They will typically start the circumcision within 10 minutes of applying the EMLA and be finished before 20 minutes have passed.
During this time, the child is in excruciating pain, a pain no adult would tolerate.
An interesting aside . . . The time of our lives that we are most sensitive to pain is the 8 weeks just before birth and the 8 weeks after birth. After that, our tolerance for pain gradually grows for the rest of our lives.