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#31 of 59 Old 11-19-2006, 03:26 PM
 
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We've had mixed feelings on the subject as well.

A cousin of mine has a son who is a year older exactly, and when speaking to me while pregnant - asked if we would circ - I replied that we absolutely would not, her response was something along the lines of,
"Kate, you have to."
I laughed and respectfully told her that more and more males were not routinely circed. An "Oh." was her reply - I regret not speaking to her about it a year prior - before her son was born.


My father told me for hygenic and social reasons I needed to have it done - I came at him with many facts that said otherwise, and he clammed up - all of a sudden became shy to speak to me about such things.


When DS was a day old, and my brother met him and held him for the first time - he was overwhelmed with Joy. The first question and comment out of his mouth was, "is he circumcised?"
I said no.
He became furious, spouting, "What the F***? Take Him Back."

He then went into a rant explaining how I needed to have it done - didn't have an option - it wasn't too late, and I could still take him back.

Hah.


He still cringes whenever he sees diaper changes, but its just become normalized to him - he doesn't see it as foreign, his foreskin.
Blah - just that ideal makes me angry - that it has become so ritualized that it's foreign to keep part of your body.


I matter of factly told my parents in law that we weren't going to have it done - they did it to DH, but just accepted and respected my wishes.


My sister in law has told me that her husband has feelings of resentment towards his parents for doing it to him as a baby.

I believe circ was one of the only things we fully agreed on.
CIO, Ferberising, and Crib sleeping are all on their checklist for when they have a baby.

I say... just wait.
(Everyonce in a while, a comment is dropped about how he needs to be more independant at night, etc - blah)
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#32 of 59 Old 11-19-2006, 03:40 PM
 
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My Grandmother was ecstatic. She told me that they took my father from her and did it without her permission - at that time they routinely put women to sleep for the delivery so she was totally knocked out. She felt that they robbed him and her of a part of himself.

I was so suprised to hear her say that!

My mother didn't know why it would matter one way or the other until I 'educated' her about it - now she is thrilled, and my whole family is against circ. My sister hasn't had a baby yet but she and her husband won't circ if they have a son!

DH's family is proud of our decision, too, even though he is circ'ed. At the time they just did it without thinking... then, when he was in grade school, he needed an additional operation to repair the damage done by the circumcision (his urethra scarred over and made too small an exit for urine).

sorry if that's tmi
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#33 of 59 Old 11-19-2006, 04:12 PM
 
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Well, my own grandparents are all gone, at least the ones I know (I dont have much to do with my dads family), but my MIL was VERY happy. Understandable since she never agreed with circumcision and has two intact boys herself. My own mom really didnt care either way, but she isnt proud at all and still maintains that circumcision is no big deal. She INSISTS that when she was a nursed in the late 70's, that none of the boys she saw circ'd ever cried at all. I told her I find that rather hard to believe since I have been present at a lot of circ's and the babies always scream their little heads off (I'm a MA, working on becoming an RN, then a CNM-who wont take parents who circ!). Anyway, I hate my mom and havent talked to her in about 3 months, so I really dont care how she feels

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#34 of 59 Old 11-20-2006, 05:57 AM
 
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My MIL would be proud (and probably is proud wherever she is) if she was still alive. She protected dh so I'm sure she would be thrilled that any grandsons will be intact

love and peace.

mama to two girls and due in November!
: Circumcision can never be undone :
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#35 of 59 Old 11-20-2006, 11:00 AM
 
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Originally Posted by mommyswenn View Post
When ds was born we were told he had a "natural circumcision." He doesn't -- he has the hooded foreskin that often accompanies hypospadias (which he also has). Both my mom and mil said, "Oh, good, you won't have to have it done then," upon learning of his "natural circ."
A nurse made the same comment about my youngest while still in the hospital- that he had a "natural circ". He has nothing of the kind. I dunno WHY she said that. His foreskin has an overhang and even comes to a point, of sorts.
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#36 of 59 Old 11-20-2006, 11:28 AM
 
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My Jewish MIL is the only one who was very happy w/ it. My FIL and both of my (Christian) parents were ball upset adn STILL make comments! I've really about had enough.
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#37 of 59 Old 11-20-2006, 01:20 PM
 
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My paternal grandmother was thrilled when I told her that we kept DS intact. She went on to tell me the history of circ in my family:

My grandfather and his brother weren't circ'ed, but their father forcefully retracted them for many years, causing tremendous amounts of pain. My grandfather didn't want for his sons to go through that pain, so he insisted on circ'ing my father and uncle, not realizing that forced retraction wasn't necessary. My grandmother was unhappy about this, but left it up to my grandfather. My father was opposed to my brother being circ'ed, and even cried during the procedure, but my mother had insisted upon it.

My mother argued with me when I told her that I left DS intact. I shot her down with the facts, and she shut up about it.

My MIL had some issues with us leaving DS intact, but DH talked with her about it a few times. In the end, she apologized to DH for circ'ing him. I try to keep that in mind during my encounters w/ MIL.

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#38 of 59 Old 11-20-2006, 04:53 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Nathan1097 View Post
A nurse made the same comment about my youngest while still in the hospital- that he had a "natural circ". He has nothing of the kind. I dunno WHY she said that. His foreskin has an overhang and even comes to a point, of sorts.
Maybe she says this to everyone with boys to try to get them not to circ them.

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#39 of 59 Old 11-20-2006, 04:57 PM
 
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My mom was overjoyed with my decison. She didn't cut my brother after seeing the horror done in Nursing School. I think she is very proud of my actism about it too! If only I could help the iggnorance on DH fam!
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#40 of 59 Old 11-20-2006, 11:00 PM
 
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I haven't read the thread, but my response to the opening question is this:

My xh's mom actually was THRILLED that we left little bit intact. She said it was not anyone's place but the child's to decide. Her son's are both intact and born in the late 70's/early 80's in OK. Good mama bear!!!

Now, my mother thinks I'm insane b/c of medical reasons. She said that all of her boys were and if she had one tomorrow he would be too. (Thank God she's tied). So, I just dropped that since it didn't matter what she thinks.

I don't know how the grandpas feel b/c I am not comfy talking this with my dad or xfil. I am thrilled over leaving him intact esp since I have learned what I have in the last 2 yrs. I would be posting and crying on the "Regrets" thread. I thought about it, and left it up to his father, of course intact dad usually = intact son. But I can't take the credit on baby's intactness.....Sadly. That I do regret.

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#41 of 59 Old 11-21-2006, 05:10 AM
 
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My Dad is intact, and so is my brother, so I think my parents would have disowned me if I'd even considered cutting the boys.

The inlaws are another story. DH is circumcised and they'd still do it if they had another chance. They stay silent about the boys though, because they know they'll get hours of lectures from DH and I if they bring it up.
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#42 of 59 Old 11-21-2006, 03:29 PM
 
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my ils kind of disagree on it so the don't talk about it much... my mother did not circ my brother so she doesn't get why it is such a big deal. i guess she did not get a huge fight at the time, and her family is intact, so my decision was an obvious one... maybe she just doesn't like to talk about penises all the time...

Ange. Mama to boys. Yup. All Boys. All Intact. A bunch of other NFL, crunchy credentials too.
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#43 of 59 Old 11-21-2006, 06:24 PM
 
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I'm sure all of my sons' g-parents would've been PISSED if we circumcised.

All of my kids uncles as well as DH are intact.

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#44 of 59 Old 11-21-2006, 06:46 PM
 
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My mother says she feels very sorry for my children and is actually quite upset about it...

Oh well...

I am so happy to hear of other Grandparents that are supportive!!

~Charlene~
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#45 of 59 Old 11-23-2006, 06:16 PM
 
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It's actually never come up...it seems to be a non-issue. My son and nephew are both intact and my mom has changed plenty of diapers and never said a word. I had a cousin once peek over my shoulder while I changed ds and she said "oh, thank god you didn't circ him!" I was a little surprised, only because she's pretty mainstream. I have no idea what my grandparents think...

Mama to Finn (04/05) Arlo (04/07) and Henry (04/10)
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#46 of 59 Old 11-23-2006, 06:21 PM
 
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My IL are very, very happy about ds being intact. VERY. Back when he was a baby and we were stupidly still planning on it, they kept saying they were going to kidnap him so we wouldnt do it. When we decided to leave him alone and perfect they were overjoyed!

But the interesting thing is, while fil is intact dh and his 2 bros are not. Mil still feels horrible about it. But sadly, 2 bros are procirc, and my nephews are to show for it.
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#47 of 59 Old 11-24-2006, 02:02 AM
 
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My grandfather, father, uncle, and brother were left intact. My family is very conservative American (well, I'm not conservative but they are ). My dh is from India and they are Hindu and they don't circ. When I was pg the discussion came up and I was fully supported by both sides. As it turned out, we have two daughters, but if we had a son I know we would have received pats on the back.

I am sorry for all of you who face family criticism for this.

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#48 of 59 Old 11-24-2006, 09:31 PM
 
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When I was pregnant with DS I told my mother that there was no way I was going to circ him. She freaked out and compared it to a cleft palette : we didn't talk for a few days but she never brought it up again. DS is almost 4 now and she changed lots of diapers without comment.

I've swayed her over to my views on vax and natural childbirth so maybe I'll start on Circ next. She is very community/Police/Red Cross involved so she interacts with many people daily.

Sarah
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#49 of 59 Old 11-24-2006, 09:36 PM
 
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My mom is definitely happy, my dad and both bro's are intact and she is very much against circumcision (and is a midwife) so I grew up reading anti-circ literature... I never once considered cutting my boys.

I assume my MIL is happy her grandsons are intact since dh is not circ'd but it's not something I've ever talked to her about.

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#50 of 59 Old 11-25-2006, 01:50 AM
 
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My mom cited a few of the studies which state that circ has benefits, but otherwise didn't say much (and she changes diapers without retracting.)

you know, I'm not actually certain that my MIL knows that my bug is intact... lemme ask.

my husband thinks she knows. guess she didn't say much, either =)
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#51 of 59 Old 11-25-2006, 02:14 AM
 
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My parents support our choice, my mom regrets having my brothers circ'd after listening to me talk about why we will not circ. My dad trusts our decision also. I am happy that they do because I would not be very excepting of criticism
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#52 of 59 Old 11-25-2006, 07:56 AM
 
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My parents assume everything I do is anti doctor, etc. or to go against the norm. Couldn't be that I have a clue right?

Dad gave an upset "you have too and here is why" speach....we lsitened. Stayed quiet, then added. Wrong, myths, etc. Dad argued. We smurked. Momlooksand says (pointing to DH) "Is he circumcised?" We answered "nope." Dad turned so many shades of red on the spot. Imagine proffesing how dirty being intact is-to an intact man!


An Aunt was only other comment when she saw him and SCREAMED INHORROR "OMG-he is NOT circumcised!" Get over it.
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#53 of 59 Old 11-25-2006, 12:58 PM
 
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Originally Posted by bebesho2 View Post
Dad gave an upset "you have too and here is why" speach....we lsitened. Stayed quiet, then added. Wrong, myths, etc. Dad argued. We smurked. Mom looks and says (pointing to DH) "Is he circumcised?" We answered "nope." Dad turned so many shades of red on the spot. Imagine proffesing how dirty being intact is-to an intact man!
"lol" indeed! I would have paid good money to be present at that moment!

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#54 of 59 Old 11-25-2006, 01:16 PM
 
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Here's an odd one: My MIL left DH intact when he was born, but when I got pregnant, we got a HUGE speech about how she regretted it, and wished she had circumsized him because it was cleaner, etc, and because he had gotten an infection as a child. To be honest, I suspect part of her change of heart was due to divorcing DH's intact father, and marrying her new, circumsized husband. :P

DH did his best to explain to her that he was very happy with her decision to leave him intact. That he had no issues with cleanliness or infection, etc.

When our second child ended up being a boy, we - of course - left him intact. And when we left him with my MIL for a couple of hours so we could go see a movie together, I gave her the Foreskin 101 speech. I told her "Don't retract him when you change him. You do a quick wipe like you would if you were wiping off a finger, and you don't need to mess with the area at all." She replied "Huh??? No, you HAVE to retract or he's going to get an infection." To which I replied "No, retracting prematurely is what can CAUSE an infection." You could see the lightbulb go off over her head, lol. I think she finally had a reason as to why DH ended up with infections as a child. :P

She hasn't said a negative thing about it, since.
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#55 of 59 Old 11-25-2006, 02:22 PM
 
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My parents aren't happy, but my Grandma said, "Good, you didn't take away his love glove!"
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#56 of 59 Old 11-25-2006, 11:55 PM
 
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My In-laws are in India... it would not have ever occured to them that our son might be circed. It is just not done for infants!
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#57 of 59 Old 11-26-2006, 12:37 AM
 
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My mom is glad my ds is whole. While I was pregnant she asked me with tears in her eyes if we were going to circumcise and was so relieved when I said no. Afaik, my dad doesn't know if my ds is intact or not. I don't know what he'd think.

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#58 of 59 Old 11-27-2006, 11:09 AM
 
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My mom circ'd all 3 of my brothers because she thought intact penises "were gross". However, she since met her DP, who is intact, and she loves him whole, and has since changed her position and actually apologized to her sons for cutting them (!!!). People can change.

My MIL and FIL are supportive of us pretty much across the board. They did circ their sons, but I think they regret it on some level, or at least they don't think of it as "necessary".

Everyone else has kept their pie hole shut about it, except for my older brother (who is still childless). He maintains he will circ any sons. I figure I have another 5 or so years to change his mind. His only reason is cause he is worried his ds might get teases by "some cheerleader". Yeah, that's a good reason to genitally mutilate your son: you're worried about some hypothetical 16 year old ignorant chick. :
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#59 of 59 Old 11-27-2006, 01:29 PM
 
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i believe my parents are. my father is intact. my mother said she'd like to believe they would have left me intact had i been a boy, but admits that they may have gone ahead and had a child circ'd because that's "what you did" (for edification's sake, i was formula fed because my mother "wanted her body back" and was told it was "just as good if not better!"). but she agrees there is no reason to do it. i think my father would agree!
i think my inlaws just see it as another sign of me being a damn dirty hippie. fil is a ped and they circ'd both of their sons (my husband is furious over his circ and considers himself sexually assaulted). soo....
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