Dr. Refuses our family for complaining about forced retraction! - Mothering Forums
Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 54 Old 07-28-2007, 08:47 PM - Thread Starter
 
incorrigible's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: The Oregon Outback
Posts: 1,696
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
.

Affordable organics delivered from GREEN POLKADOT BOX

Wife to jammin.gif Beast 

Mama to guitar.gif Crash (14) and hippie.gifSpritely (12)

incorrigible is offline  
#2 of 54 Old 07-28-2007, 08:51 PM
 
rmzbm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: NC
Posts: 16,378
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
rmzbm is offline  
#3 of 54 Old 07-28-2007, 09:00 PM
 
titania8's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: flint, mi
Posts: 1,368
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by rmzbm View Post
yea, my face is just hanging open here. speechless. un-freaking-believable.

wow. they assult your child, tell you they will make it right, and then throw you out???? :

~helen~ mama to 5 yo twins jonas and micah and my 2 yo baby boy eli
titania8 is offline  
#4 of 54 Old 07-28-2007, 09:36 PM
 
christifav's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Dayton, OH
Posts: 530
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
momma, I am shocked at what has happened to your family, but I applaud you for taking action. Thank you thank you thank you for not rolling over on this one.
christifav is offline  
#5 of 54 Old 07-28-2007, 09:40 PM
 
eepster's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: growing in the Garden State ............
Posts: 9,510
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'd go for the media. I doubt filing charges with the police will do any good (I wish I though it would do some good she totally deserves it.)

If you could find other moms with similar stories you'd be more likely to get coverage.

Timmy's Mommy WARNINGyslexic typing with help of preschooler, beware of typos
eepster is offline  
#6 of 54 Old 07-28-2007, 09:43 PM - Thread Starter
 
incorrigible's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: The Oregon Outback
Posts: 1,696
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
.

Affordable organics delivered from GREEN POLKADOT BOX

Wife to jammin.gif Beast 

Mama to guitar.gif Crash (14) and hippie.gifSpritely (12)

incorrigible is offline  
#7 of 54 Old 07-28-2007, 09:53 PM
 
bluetoes's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 1,130
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
That is horrible! That NP must have something on the doctors. Have you ever had any problems with one of the doctors over anything else? It is just so weird I don't get it.

Does your town have a reporter that investigates complaints like this for the local TV news?

What a bunch of jerks. Sorry this happened to you and your family. Hopefully you can find another ped practice that is a shower of *&^%$!
bluetoes is offline  
#8 of 54 Old 07-28-2007, 10:02 PM
A&A
 
A&A's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 16,853
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)
I had the EXACT same thing happen to me. Good riddance, I say.

"Our task is not to see the future, but to enable it."
A&A is offline  
#9 of 54 Old 07-28-2007, 10:09 PM
Fi.
 
Fi.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Nashville TN/Vancouver BC
Posts: 1,367
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Dave2GA is a lawyer that deals especially in these types of cases and posts on this board. PM him ASAP for some advice. Also email Doctors Opposing Circumcision, they'll know how to help too.

Long distance Mom to boarding school superstars E (9) and Layne (6).
Fi. is offline  
#10 of 54 Old 07-28-2007, 10:14 PM
 
KBecks's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 2,002
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I agree you should consult the "anti-circ" lawyers to see what they suggest.

They are within their rights to refuse you as patients. I do think they should provide your records at no charge. You are better off with another pediatrician anyway, if nothing else this shows they aren't folks you want to work with.

It's possible that your husband's ex got overly agressive with them and I wouldn't fault anyone for refusing to do business with a client who crossed the line from angry to abusive language. Not that I have any indication that's what happened, but if it did, it makes more sense.
KBecks is offline  
#11 of 54 Old 07-28-2007, 10:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
incorrigible's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: The Oregon Outback
Posts: 1,696
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
.

Affordable organics delivered from GREEN POLKADOT BOX

Wife to jammin.gif Beast 

Mama to guitar.gif Crash (14) and hippie.gifSpritely (12)

incorrigible is offline  
#12 of 54 Old 07-28-2007, 10:32 PM
 
foreskin friendly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: PA
Posts: 366
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by eepster View Post
I'd go for the media. I doubt filing charges with the police will do any good (I wish I though it would do some good she totally deserves it.)

If you could find other moms with similar stories you'd be more likely to get coverage.
HI! "Other Mom" here! I'm very sorry to hear what happened to you and your son, being thrown out of your peds group is just another violation!
I am beyond LIVID about what happened to my son on July 11th and didn't realize it was so common until coming here.... I've written a letter and copied it to aprox 85 parties that I hope will take interest and do something..anything!

You can see my letter at the end of the thread titled "updated w/her ltr/doctor forcibly retracted foreskin" from earlier today... or PM me.. (I'll figure that out).... definitely write! copy local legislators, hospitals (so they know to educate their medical professionals), news (you can find almost all names/addresses on my ltr)... ....
foreskin friendly is offline  
#13 of 54 Old 07-28-2007, 10:40 PM
 
foreskin friendly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: PA
Posts: 366
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Here is the letter... very last post....copy and paste the cc: list into your letter, just change the state legislators. May have to increase font to read..sorry!

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...=712014&page=2

Also, it wouldn't hurt going to the police to file charges.. I have not done that YET... but.. plan to.
If they won't take a complaint, don't stop there! If you want, go through the chain of command, supervisor-cheif of police, etc...or just contact the state prosecutor or attorney directly.
Make sure to touch base with David Llewellyn, Atlanta Circumcision Info Center, and John Geisheker, Doctors Opposing Circumcision...
they gave me extremely valuable advice FREE!
foreskin friendly is offline  
#14 of 54 Old 07-28-2007, 10:56 PM
 
grrr's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 48
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I bet the pediatrician is just covering their ass. If the nurse did it again to your child they would be open for all kinds of trouble. Their lawyer probably suggested the letter.
grrr is offline  
#15 of 54 Old 07-28-2007, 11:17 PM
 
glongley's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Boulder, CO
Posts: 1,072
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by grrr View Post
I bet the pediatrician is just covering their ass. If the nurse did it again to your child they would be open for all kinds of trouble. Their lawyer probably suggested the letter.
Yep, I'm sure once you mention the possibility of a suit, even if this incident were corrected and blows over, that you would be considered a very risky patient/parent to keep in their practice, out of fear that there might be another incident that would "set you off." So they are protecting themselves from legal troubles later by refusing you care.

Whatever you have the energy to do, whether it be letters (including to the state board that licenses this nurse practitioner), lawsuit, or contacting the media, I'm sure it will be beneficial for the intactivist cause.

Good luck, and sorry you have to go through this.

Gillian
glongley is offline  
#16 of 54 Old 07-28-2007, 11:47 PM - Thread Starter
 
incorrigible's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: The Oregon Outback
Posts: 1,696
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
.

Affordable organics delivered from GREEN POLKADOT BOX

Wife to jammin.gif Beast 

Mama to guitar.gif Crash (14) and hippie.gifSpritely (12)

incorrigible is offline  
#17 of 54 Old 07-29-2007, 02:09 AM
 
ulla's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 454
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Their response was to be expected after threatening them with legal action. Once you've positioned yourself as an adversary and fired the opening volley in a lawsuit, the practice can no longer keep you as a patient. Surely, that must be clear to you. You can't declare war on them and still expect them to have warm feelings toward you.

I doubt you'll get anywhere with a charge of sexual assault. I also don't think you will get much sympathy from the public. You will not be taken seriously if you come off as overly emotional and vindictive.

I really feel for your son. It sounds like the worse is past and soon he will be as good as new. Good hygiene and some antiseptic cream are the best prevention against infection. A single incident, if properly handled, will not cause any lasting damage.

I raised three sons and your son's ailments are par for the course. Just about all boys have some kind of minor penis injury and they recover just fine. No need to panic. My boys are intact and they've all had unfortunate incidents with zippers, sports gear, etc that caused some unintentional retraction or breaking of adhesions. My sons are all sexually active now and no problems at all.
ulla is offline  
#18 of 54 Old 07-29-2007, 02:15 AM
 
~Kira~'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Victoria, BC
Posts: 747
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
It's good that you've got things written down as they happened. Make sure to keep copies of any documents you have, obviously that letter, and write down every single thing re: the incident.

You will get really professional advice and help from Dave2GA, and I do think that if handled properly, this could be taken to the media --- hopefully the attention it receives will help to prevent this from happening to other boys.


- Kira
~Kira~ is offline  
#19 of 54 Old 07-29-2007, 03:17 AM
 
kxsiven's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Finland
Posts: 1,535
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by ulla View Post
Just about all boys have some kind of minor penis injury and they recover just fine.
Forceful retraction by medical persnel is no minor penile injury - it is the biggest reason why American boys get so often circumcised later.

If nurse had pushed vibrator in little girl's vagina no one would be calling it minor vagina injury.

But the attitude in USA is horrible when it comes to little boys' genitals.

Where I live this nurse would be charged and get punished. She harmed a patient and obviously is not quolified to be a nurse if she did something like that.

This issue need more publicity. I've been in this debate over 7 years and things hhave not changed. Doctors and nurses still continue widely tret intact boys badly.

Things do not change until this issue have been brought to daylight.
kxsiven is offline  
#20 of 54 Old 07-29-2007, 03:41 AM
 
ulla's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 454
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Forceful retraction by medical persnel is no minor penile injury - it is the biggest reason why American boys get so often circumcised later.[/QUOTE]
From the OPs description of what actually happened it does indeed sound minor to me. If the little boy's reaction was "ouch" and then he later experienced a burning sensation when urinating, that is not serious. My oldest sons got his foreskin caught in a zipper and he was howling in pain all the way to the emergency room and bleeding profusely. At the emergency room the doctor had to retract a bit to evaluate the the wound. He need a few stitches on the tip of the foreskin. This all happened in Paris, France when my son was three years old. My son experienced no lasting problems. He has an active sex life with no issues.

My sons were born in France Tanzania, and Germany. In both France and Germany doctor's do occasionally push the foreskin back a bit to evaluate a complaint of pain.

Quote:
Originally Posted by kxsiven View Post
If nurse had pushed vibrator in little girl's vagina no one would be calling it minor vagina injury.
This is gross and in not relevant to the discussion.
ulla is offline  
#21 of 54 Old 07-29-2007, 03:53 AM
 
pixiesmommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: From NC, living in IL
Posts: 1,014
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I disagree. I think it is relevant because it's abuse, whether the abuser is aware of it or not. Ignorance is NO excuse for harming a child!

Also, to the OP... I'm very close to you physically in IL and if you need help with anything or want to march, etc. just let me know by PM. I don't have a son (yet! This one might be a boy that I'm pregnant with!) but I'm willing to do what I can.

Manda

::Mommy to Pixie : 9-3-00 and Peri 11-15-07
pixiesmommy is offline  
#22 of 54 Old 07-29-2007, 06:30 AM
 
Bm31's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 698
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Have you thought about filing a complaint with the Illinois Department of Financial and Professional Regulation? They regulate the licenses of doctors and nurses. Knowing the backwards views in this state it probably won't get far, but it might not hurt to try.
Bm31 is offline  
#23 of 54 Old 07-29-2007, 06:42 AM
 
MCatLvrMom2A&X's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: With Vin Diesel ;) YUMMMM
Posts: 14,886
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Retracting of the foreskin like happened to the op's son is sexual assault. No if ands or buts. The equevilent of retracting the foreskin is the same as a invasive vaginal exam.

As long as we continue to see this as a simple thing nothing is going to change. We have to do all we can to get the word out that we will no longer be allowing our sons to be harmed by foreskin ignorent healthcare workers.

What if instead of a boy we were talking about a girl here saying ouch during a look see at the genital area? Boys deserve the same rights and respect givin to girls.

 
SAHMlady.gifread.giflovin' trekkie.giffan intactivist.gifwinner.jpg to loveeyes.gifenergy.gifDD 10/00 & superhero.gifmoon.gifDS 10/04 ribbonpb.gifIf your ds is intact, keep him safe, visit the Case Against Circ forumnocirc.gifCirc, a personal choice, Your sonsyes.gifbrokenheart.gif11/98brokenheart.gif6/99ribbonbrown.gifanti-tobaccoribbonyellow.gifThyroid cancer survivor. With cat.gif& goldfish.gif & (Boxer)dog2.gif wishing 4 whale.gif&ribbonwhite.gifsigncirc1.gifselectivevax.gifdelayedvax.gif

MCatLvrMom2A&X is offline  
#24 of 54 Old 07-29-2007, 08:23 AM
 
carriebft's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 6,947
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
If my daughter had labial adhesions and my doctor ripped them apart (esp after being told to leave her labia alone), I would file charges in a heart beat. I see no differences between that and what happened here. Good for you for contacting Dave and moving on this.

It's about bleeping time doctors and nurses were punished for hurting little boys.


(I also agree that the threat of a lawsuit probably made them drop you as a patient....that's not surprising, but keep fighting momma!)

"Parents are simply trustees; they do not own the bodies of their children"-Norm Cohen  Martial arts instructor intactlact.gifhomebirth.jpgnak.gif and mom to 4: DD1 (1/05) DS (7/06) DD2 (5/08) DD3 (2/11)
carriebft is offline  
#25 of 54 Old 07-29-2007, 10:15 AM
 
paquerette's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Poconos
Posts: 6,818
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
It may be true that no one's ever attempted to file criminal assault charges for forced retraction. But it's got to start somewhere. If this mama's got the gumption for it, then do what you can!
paquerette is offline  
#26 of 54 Old 07-29-2007, 11:16 AM
 
Quirky's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Princeton, NJ
Posts: 12,113
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Frankly I don't think you're going to get very far with the police and/or a lawsuit. Not because you shouldn't but because this is not the level of damage that will get you a good lawyer willing to put the hours into it for a decent payoff (unless you've got $200+ an hour to pay an attorney up front to take the case).

I would pursue the professional angle, writing letters of complaint to the state medical licensing board, the AAP, etc. I'd also try to get some media coverage, and definitely publicize this to everyone you know locally.

Come visit the NEW QuirkyBaby website -- earn QB Bucks rewards points for purchases, reviews, referrals, and more! Free US shipping on great brands of baby slings and carriers and FREE BabyLegs or babywearing mirror on orders of $100+. Take the QB Quiz for personalized advice!

Quirky is offline  
#27 of 54 Old 07-29-2007, 02:38 PM
 
eepster's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: growing in the Garden State ............
Posts: 9,510
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by paquerette View Post
It may be true that no one's ever attempted to file criminal assault charges for forced retraction. But it's got to start somewhere. If this mama's got the gumption for it, then do what you can!
This one is actually a very good first case.
  • the child in question is old enough to have a say in people touching his genitals
  • she had been warned on many occasions not to play with his penis
  • she seemed to deliberately try to hide what she was doing
  • she has a specific questionnaire to fill out which never mentioned the penis
  • the child is old enough to express what happened to him in a grownup manner
Unfortunately I still doubt that the police will take it seriously.

Timmy's Mommy WARNINGyslexic typing with help of preschooler, beware of typos
eepster is offline  
#28 of 54 Old 07-29-2007, 03:11 PM
 
jenP's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 997
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
if you didn't already, take lots of photos of the damage, and as it heals.

media and public and police won't take it seriously 'cause everyone thinks that you are supposed to retract anyway.

good luck, and please keep us posted! glad you are willing to go to the mat to protect your son and hopefully help stop it happening to someone else.

jen
jenP is offline  
#29 of 54 Old 07-29-2007, 06:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
incorrigible's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: The Oregon Outback
Posts: 1,696
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
.

Affordable organics delivered from GREEN POLKADOT BOX

Wife to jammin.gif Beast 

Mama to guitar.gif Crash (14) and hippie.gifSpritely (12)

incorrigible is offline  
#30 of 54 Old 07-29-2007, 06:29 PM
 
fishface's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,179
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by kxsiven View Post
If nurse had pushed vibrator in little girl's vagina no one would be calling it minor vagina injury.
No one shoved a vibrator under the boy's foreskin. Perhaps your analogy would make sense if you said "If a nurse had yanked the girl's labia apart" or something. I'm just stunned and disgusted by this "analogy". Ew.
fishface is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off