Say a little prayer for my nephew tonight- my sister's gonna circ him tomorrow. - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 48 Old 12-28-2007, 08:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Say a little prayer for my nephew, Alexzander, tonight. My sister is in labor with him right now and will probably deliver him tonight. She's insistant on letting her boyfriend choose to circumscise him, "to look like Daddy". : I tried, but I couldn't talk her out of it. She actually threatened to make sure he's circed to spite me if I didn't stop bugging her about it. I hope somehow, once she sees how perfect he will be or maybe a nurse will say something that makes her start really thinking or something... SOMEHOW, she'll change her mind. And please pray that, if she doesn't have a chance of heart, that it's somehow as painless and complication free as possible for my nephew, though SHE doesn't need to know that.

I pray for the day Family Court recognizes that CHILDREN have rights, parents only have PRIVILEGES.  Only then, will I know my child is safe.
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#2 of 48 Old 12-28-2007, 08:54 PM
 
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Tell her, "you can still say no" just for that one last attempt. She is already hesitant. Print out the "Mothers who regret" thread and give it to her when you see her after the baby is born. :
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#3 of 48 Old 12-28-2007, 09:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I've already done that. Nothing. She's very headstrong. If you try to force her to do something, she won't do it. I told her my own "Mother who regrets" story as well and it backfired- "Well, he doesn't even know what he's missing and he's fine." Seriously, I think it may take a miracle or some kind of epiphany on her part to change her mind.

I pray for the day Family Court recognizes that CHILDREN have rights, parents only have PRIVILEGES.  Only then, will I know my child is safe.
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#4 of 48 Old 12-28-2007, 09:26 PM
 
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Thoughts and prayers for your sis & nephew.
Don't beat yourself up over this. You tried. Some people just won't ever "get" it. Have you tried talking to her boyfriend?

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#5 of 48 Old 12-28-2007, 09:48 PM
 
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I'll pray that the doctor loses his keys and can't get to work on time.

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#6 of 48 Old 12-28-2007, 11:25 PM
 
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I'm so sorry. Best wishes and prayers for your nephew.
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#7 of 48 Old 12-28-2007, 11:30 PM
 
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Originally Posted by harleyhalfmoon View Post
I've already done that. Nothing. She's very headstrong. If you try to force her to do something, she won't do it. I told her my own "Mother who regrets" story as well and it backfired- "Well, he doesn't even know what he's missing and he's fine." Seriously, I think it may take a miracle or some kind of epiphany on her part to change her mind.
I dont know if its too late, but you could use some quotes that I put up, straight from teen boys. Instead of from what mothers think, this is from boys like her future son. If you want a more specific quote, let me know. Otherwise I guess otherwise, I just hope for the best for this boy.
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#8 of 48 Old 12-29-2007, 02:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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She had him late last night. Alexzander Thomas, 7 pounds, 15 ounces, 20 inches. I haven't spoken to my sister yet- just my Mother. I live almost three hours away and will not be able to make it up this weekend. Talking to her boyfriend in not an option- they only started dating about 10 months ago and I've only met him once. My Mother is almost on my side on anticirc- she's just getting there, not enough to say what I would say, but enough that she promised to insist that my sister does alot of research and asks alot of questions before doing anything. Whether or not my sister listens may be a different story. Anyways, I was told last night that Alex "looks just like his Daddy" and that "he's got the tiniest little penis my sister has ever seen". I hope my sister falls in love with the "tiniest little penis ever" and doesn't want to cut it, that the rest of him looks "just like Daddy", so they don't have to have the same penis. I guess I'll update when I know anything else...

I pray for the day Family Court recognizes that CHILDREN have rights, parents only have PRIVILEGES.  Only then, will I know my child is safe.
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#9 of 48 Old 12-29-2007, 03:02 PM
 
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#10 of 48 Old 12-29-2007, 03:05 PM
 
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I'm so sorry you weren't able to change her mind. I hope he does well and doesn't have any complications.
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#11 of 48 Old 12-29-2007, 03:59 PM
 
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Originally Posted by harleyhalfmoon View Post
Anyways, I was told last night that Alex "looks just like his Daddy" and that "he's got the tiniest little penis my sister has ever seen".
I wonder if she knows that a tight circ could LEAVE him with the tiniest little penis ever? It doesn't have to be as extreme as buried penis. Since the doctor will not know how much skin will be needed for an adult erection, even a loose circ could result in loss of length when erect. One would think this would be enough of a deterrent, given the value many men and women place on penile size.

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#12 of 48 Old 12-29-2007, 04:11 PM
 
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I wonder if she knows that a tight circ could LEAVE him with the tiniest little penis ever? It doesn't have to be as extreme as buried penis. Since the doctor will not know how much skin will be needed for an adult erection, even a loose circ could result in loss of length when erect. One would think this would be enough of a deterrent, given the value many men and women place on penile size.
I was thinking that, too.

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#13 of 48 Old 12-29-2007, 04:11 PM
 
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I wonder if she knows that a tight circ could LEAVE him with the tiniest little penis ever? It doesn't have to be as extreme as buried penis. Since the doctor will not know how much skin will be needed for an adult erection, even a loose circ could result in loss of length when erect. One would think this would be enough of a deterrent, given the value many men and women place on penile size.
Its shocking that people would even do this kind of surgery on a baby. For any other surgery doctors will always say that its not the best idea because you dont know how things will grow once it reaches adult size.
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#14 of 48 Old 12-29-2007, 05:17 PM
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I was told last night that Alex "looks just like his Daddy" and that "he's got the tiniest little penis my sister has ever seen".
Disclaimer: I know the situation is absolutely NOT even remotely funny but I can't lie, I giggled at those two things in close proximity. He looks just like daddy and has the tiniest penis ever....*cough*

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#15 of 48 Old 12-29-2007, 06:06 PM
 
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Originally Posted by harleyhalfmoon View Post
Anyways, I was told last night that Alex "looks just like his Daddy" and that "he's got the tiniest little penis my sister has ever seen".
Tiny baby...tiny penis. : I really don't understand people sometimes. I have NEVER heard a parent comment on girls labia, but the people who circ almost always seem to comment on the size of the penis.
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#16 of 48 Old 12-29-2007, 10:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Disclaimer: I know the situation is absolutely NOT even remotely funny but I can't lie, I giggled at those two things in close proximity. He looks just like daddy and has the tiniest penis ever....*cough*
You're right. Your comparison made me laugh. I sure could use a laugh today.

Anyways, a bit of an update... They live in a VERY high circ area- probably 90% or higher, so I was very surprised to hear, when I talked to my sister this afternoon, that they could not find a doctor who would touch a penis that small- they all took one look, saw how tiny he was, and refused to circ him. (A mini miracle?) I don't know what's gonna happen when he's a little older and a little bigger, but I figured that his tiny little penis has bought him at least a month or two's time, if not longer. Maybe there's hope in changing my sister's mind- she's tends to make hasty decisions regarding her children, but her Mother Bear comes out bigtime once they've got that bond. Hopefully, she's grow to like how he looks and just refuse to bring him back in when he's bigger. : (I didn't ask if she was still gonna circ him, because my gut told me that it really wasn't the time to bring it up. I'll see what I can say once the baby's home.) Also, I know for a fact that her pediatrician is very anticirc- he's got four sons, all intact, and I was their daycare teacher when they were toddlers. Alex is not out of the clear yet, but he's "safe" for now. Hopefully, his luck will stay with him as he gets older.

Just out of curiosity, does anyone know at what age the doctors have to start giving anesthesia, in case he does get circed when he's bigger? I have to tell myself, if she does circ when he's older, at least he'll be out of it and won't feel it while it's happening, but if, say, they start at three months old and she's wants to circ him when he's, say, two months old, the least I can do for Alex is try to convince her to wait until he's old enough for anesthesia. Also, does anyone know about Medicaid in MA, if they pay for circing once the child is no longer a newborn? I know they don't cover cosmetic surgery, but they do cover circing in newborns. Maybe she'll miss that deadline as well and it'll fall into the cosmetic surgery catagory? Trying to plan my next move, because chances are, he won't always have "the tiniest penis there ever was".

I pray for the day Family Court recognizes that CHILDREN have rights, parents only have PRIVILEGES.  Only then, will I know my child is safe.
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#17 of 48 Old 12-30-2007, 12:26 AM
 
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That is all such great news, even that he has "the tiniest penis ever"

I think medicaid only covers it while in the hospital for birth... We can all hope, huh? I'll see what I can find for anesthesia, and I can email you a word document about why it is "best" to be circ'ed after puberty, if you think it will help.

And many, many kudos to the ped as well!

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#18 of 48 Old 12-30-2007, 12:33 AM
 
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I think it's a mini miracle..maybe she'll be too lazy to put in the effort to get it done later

In states where Medicare still covers circumcisions it is only in the hospital (AFAIK). They won't do it without anesthesia after 2 weeks in most cases (unless your sister can find a truly sadistic doctor who like to cause sever pain to infants - well, I guess that would include any doctor that circumcises then...)

You can always use the last resort card that I played with my brother...I told him that I would be sure to let his son know as soon as he was old enough that mommy and daddy knew how wrong it was to cut off part of his penis but they thought it would be cuter if they did. I also promised to be there to help him sue them as soon as he could.

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#19 of 48 Old 12-30-2007, 04:48 AM
 
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That is wonderful that he has been spared for now. Im praying that Medicaid doesn't cover it now that he's out of the hospital and that your sister realizes how perfect her son is, just the way he was born.
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#20 of 48 Old 12-30-2007, 05:29 AM
 
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Originally Posted by harleyhalfmoon View Post
Trying to plan my next move, because chances are, he won't always have "the tiniest penis there ever was".
I'm really glad he won't be circed now and I'm hoping his mama will have a change of heart on the whole circ decision.
I've debating on saying anything because certainly I do not know what the case is with your nephew. But sometimes in my hospital a doctor will refuse to do the circ if the baby has "micropenis". Now sometimes the baby is just too small to circ at birth and he will eventually catch up, but it's not always the case.

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#21 of 48 Old 12-30-2007, 05:58 AM
 
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I hope that it ends up meaning it isnt done! yay for her little guy still being whole at least for now

and im sure at 6 mo they are supposed to use anesthesia, but before that im not sure what the line is, id say birth, period, if it is to e done for whatever reason, but unfortunately, that isnt the case..
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#22 of 48 Old 12-30-2007, 08:17 AM
 
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Be sure to give her some intact care info in case she thinks she needs to be (or if the doctors wrongfully tell her she needs to be) retracting him.

I hope and pray he stays intact.... our neighbors here had their ds circed at 3 months old for the very same reason. Some people just can't get over thinking that there is something "wrong" with their child for being completely normal. :
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#23 of 48 Old 12-30-2007, 10:10 AM
 
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What a miracle indeed!! Hopefully they will realize how easy it is to take care of and then just realize there is no need to get it done...

At least his little penis saved him so far....

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#24 of 48 Old 12-30-2007, 10:19 AM
 
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Once they are to big for the circumstraint then they have to go under GA I dont know how big is to big tho. I hope that she comes to her senses and forgets about the circ. But I would give her some intact care information to keep him from having problems by being retracted since that would just reinforce her idea of why circ is needed.

 
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#25 of 48 Old 12-30-2007, 11:05 AM
 
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Be sure to give her some intact care info in case she thinks she needs to be (or if the doctors wrongfully tell her she needs to be) retracting him.

I hope and pray he stays intact.... our neighbors here had their ds circed at 3 months old for the very same reason. Some people just can't get over thinking that there is something "wrong" with their child for being completely normal. :
Yes, she will need to know she doesn't have to fuss with his penis at all. It sounds like shr has a good pedi though!
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#26 of 48 Old 12-30-2007, 12:43 PM
 
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I'm glad he was spared from that kind of trauma for now. Hopefully your sister will come to her senses and she will just leave him alone.

Please make sure she knows a little about the intact penis, especially that retraction is NOT necessary.

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#27 of 48 Old 12-30-2007, 12:50 PM
 
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Wow...lucky babe! Brainstorm now - hopefully, as others have said, though she'll just "forget it."

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
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I am so glad his itty bitty penis saved the day.
I am so glad the doctors refused to circ him , I can only imagine he would have had complications.

I hope she will forget about having it done after she bonds well with him and realizes an intact penis is easy to care for and not nasty.

OUR DAUGHTERS ARE PROTECTED SHOULDN'T OUR SONS BE TOO! :
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#29 of 48 Old 12-30-2007, 01:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Night_Nurse View Post
I'm really glad he won't be circed now and I'm hoping his mama will have a change of heart on the whole circ decision.
I've debating on saying anything because certainly I do not know what the case is with your nephew. But sometimes in my hospital a doctor will refuse to do the circ if the baby has "micropenis". Now sometimes the baby is just too small to circ at birth and he will eventually catch up, but it's not always the case.
Yeah, that thought crossed my mind, and I almost mentioned it to my sister yesterday, but I didn't want her thinking anything was "wrong" with his penis or that it needed any kind of "fixing". (I don't know what the treatment is for micropenis.) If the doctors said anything about micropenis, she didn't tell me. One of my brothers was also very tiny, if you know what I mean (he'd kill me if he knew I was telling anyone! ), and the doctor almost couldn't circ him, either.

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Be sure to give her some intact care info in case she thinks she needs to be (or if the doctors wrongfully tell her she needs to be) retracting him.

The pediatrician is good- he doesn't let any one of his patients leave the hospital until he checks out the baby and has a consultation with the baby's parents. He'll let her know about retracting. It'll mean more coming from him, especially when he expresses his relief that she did not circ because of all the harm it does. I just loved that pediatrition. (He was my son's pediatrition for eight years before we moved away.) He's the kind of doctor who really, really cares about his patients and he knows everything. Literally, but not in a snobby or smug way, just in a "here are all the facts" way. He was also my sister's pediatrition for years and years when she was growing up and is my niece's as well, so whatever he says to her about Alex being intact will pull alot of weight with my sister.

I pray for the day Family Court recognizes that CHILDREN have rights, parents only have PRIVILEGES.  Only then, will I know my child is safe.
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#30 of 48 Old 12-30-2007, 01:11 PM
 
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You can always use the last resort card that I played with my brother...I told him that I would be sure to let his son know as soon as he was old enough that mommy and daddy knew how wrong it was to cut off part of his penis but they thought it would be cuter if they did. I also promised to be there to help him sue them as soon as he could.
I know this is off topic, but I was just wondering, what did your brother say, when you said all that to him? Did he still have the circ done?
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