I wish I would have known sooner - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 8 Old 09-03-2003, 02:44 AM - Thread Starter
 
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All 3 of my sons are circumsized. I wish I would have followed my instincts and not had it done. I was uneducated about AP and pressured (to make them look like Dad), and now it will be something that I will regret for the rest of my life. I always wonder what they will say to me about when they are grown men. When I was pregnant with number 4 I prayed that it would be a girl so I would not have to deal with this issue--and to my surprise it was a girl!!! I still can't believe that I put 3 of my precious newborns through some thing so brutal. If any body reading this is considering it done---please don't. Leave their little penises alone. I should have.

Tamera hearts.gifwife to Rod moon.gif Mama to Ty jammin.gif Nathan Peace.gif Hunter bikenew.gifMila energy.gifAndrew sleepytime.gif Kyle REPlaySkateboard04HL.gif& our last baby # 7 due June 2011 1sttri.gif We homeschool.gif  nocirc.gifcd.gif  h20homebirth.gif
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#2 of 8 Old 09-03-2003, 08:44 AM
 
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Hugs!
Don't wait for them to ask.On occasion sit down with them when you are ready and talk about it.Explain why you felt it should be done,and why you now have regrets.Tell them what you want them to learn from these mistakes. The question is how does your husband feel about it? Will he tell your sons circ is ok thus helping to continue the cycle of violence in the future for any grandsons?
Best wishes!
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#3 of 8 Old 09-04-2003, 10:01 AM
 
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One of the best legacies you can leave your descendants is to properly educate and inform your children so this is not passed along as a "Family Tradition." With early education, you can be assured this will not be perpetuated through ignorance.





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#4 of 8 Old 09-07-2003, 04:39 AM
 
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Dear Tamera,

I feel your pain. My 5yo is circ'ed (but my last one is not). Totally educating yourself so you can teach your boys will put you into a proactive situation where - although you can not change the past - you may be able to affect the future. Have you run across information on foreskin restoration?
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#5 of 8 Old 09-07-2003, 09:54 PM
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Also keep in mind, your sons can sue their circumcisers at the age of 18. Go to www.noharmm.org and do a search for "litigation."
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#6 of 8 Old 09-08-2003, 12:35 AM
 
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Hi Tamera- I love your kid's names and the cute emoticons you picked for each one in your sig. I have a one year old daughter (yesterday was her birthday) and a 5.5 year old son.

My husband was circumcisied without his parent's consent, the hospital just did it. He was the first man on either side of his family to be cicumcised. But what really sucked was that no one TOLD him this... i mean, I guess they figured it was better to let the little boy just be happy with his penis then to scare him and say, "after you were born the Dr. came to the nursery and took you and cut off a piece of your penis and when we saw what they had done to you we were shocked and horrified!...."

I mean- you don't want to give the kid nightmares of being abducted by penis cutters ... but why not approach us when I was pregnant and explain this?

Instead how it played out was I had to use my promiscuous history and understanding of all the european men I had casually gone to bed with to argue with my wonderful love of my life husband that this thing he was thinking of doing to our baby was really not a good idea to do to a guys sex organ. He took it personal and it was just terrible for us. If his parents had come clean earlier to him- he could have known.

Instead there he was, a fool in denial, arguing that a boy must look like dad- and he didn't even know his own dad was intact.

Our son (intact) was bout 4 years old before my husband learnd the truth surrounding his own circumcision and that was only after he decided to come forward to his prents and tell them that he did not like being circumcised and that he was restoring his foreskin. he did not confront them, it was not like a volatile blow up scene... he just wanted to tell them so they didn't promote circumcision for other people.

I hope that you can figure out a good time intheir lives to help your boys undrstand.

Love Sarah
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#7 of 8 Old 09-08-2003, 03:32 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I will always feel bad for my decision---but thanks to every one here I have new ideas to help heal them and me. The boys do not seem to mind that they were circumsized--but I want it to bug them. If they have sons in the future I don't want them to follow in our footsteps. I hope that my future grandchildren will stay intact!!

Tamera hearts.gifwife to Rod moon.gif Mama to Ty jammin.gif Nathan Peace.gif Hunter bikenew.gifMila energy.gifAndrew sleepytime.gif Kyle REPlaySkateboard04HL.gif& our last baby # 7 due June 2011 1sttri.gif We homeschool.gif  nocirc.gifcd.gif  h20homebirth.gif
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#8 of 8 Old 09-09-2003, 09:41 PM
 
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I am certainly glad you got some good ideas towards the healing of circumcision. That's what makes this forum worthwhile - the sharing of information - and ideas - of those who are thinking the same things you are.



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