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#1 of 13 Old 09-22-2003, 12:33 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I got this email from someone in my playgroup today. She is fairly mainstream, but never CIO and BF for 18-20 months. She's really nice...

Quote:
I guess I’m getting used to the thought of having a boy, but I don’t think it will really hit me until later when I’m actually having to deal with the boy parts!!
Here's my chance for a non-circ pitch....can you help!?
I want to be polite and succinct...maybe in a sentence include a few of the basic reasons not to...and maybe suggest one or 2 websites...not too much. I don't want to be too pushy.

Oh, BTW, I let her borrow my Sears' Birth Book (she had a C-section the first time and I suggested she consider a VBAC...her section was beacuse dr 'would rather section than use forceps')...and sneakily put inside a copy of the Fleiss article. I scribbled on it and made it look used...this was before she found out what she was having...

Ilaria mamma to Owen, Caroline & Patrick .... loving life as expats in Asia intactlact.gifnovaxnocirc.gifuc.jpgnamaste.gif
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#2 of 13 Old 09-22-2003, 02:03 AM
 
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How about the pamphlet from www.nocirc.org - I'd link it for you but their frames setup only gives the main page - about caring for your intact boy? Maybe send her a couple of the pamphlets...

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#3 of 13 Old 09-22-2003, 02:14 AM
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#4 of 13 Old 09-22-2003, 04:56 AM
 
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RE: "when I’m actually having to deal with the boy parts!!"


"You mean having to deal with gauze, vaseline, weeping, pain and the possiility of infections or doing nothing?"

That may be an eye-opening question for her.


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#5 of 13 Old 09-22-2003, 08:34 AM
 
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I like to assume the best!

"Yeah--the hardest part of the whole 'boy parts' thing is dealing with the madmen who don't like 'boy parts' left whole, natural and intact. They just don't realize that nobody does that anymore!"

Of course, that's me.
When asked by the ILs and other detractors, "Are you still breastfeeding?" my answer is "Of course!" in a tone
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#6 of 13 Old 09-22-2003, 10:41 AM
 
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Ooops! Typing with a toddler will do that!

Anyhow, respond assuming that she will leave him whole and intact.
If it seems that they are considering otherwise, use your best therapist's voice and ask, "Why would you do that?" (Not too outraged, but genuinely curious.) Follow up with, "Why do you think that?" etc. Then you'll know if you're dealing with someone rational or not. I'm assuming that this is a married woman, so I don't see what the issue is with 'boys parts', but maybe it's just her sense of humor!

As I started to say earlier before my post was prematurely posted. . .

I carefully choose my response.
"Still breastfeeding?" "Of course!" (tone implies that to do otherwise would be negligent and shocking.)

"Not circumcised?" "Of course not! Nobody does THAT anymore!" (tone implies that this practice is as bizarre as foot-binding or giving babies laudanum--nevermind that benadryl is the sedative of choice now, but that's another rant entirely.) "He's whole and complete, just as nature intended." (very affectiontely said, with love and pride for every little bit of him.)

My daughter has a small cafe au lait mark on her cheek, and you'd be surprised at how rude people can be about it--right in front of her! My mantra is, "That's where I kissed her before she was born--isn't it perfect!" in that same loving voice. She feels sorry that her brother only has a little strawberry mark under his hairline and no nice cafe au lait marks like her!

Ok, now I'm rambling. Gotta go.
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#7 of 13 Old 09-22-2003, 12:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Well, I combined all of your suggestions and just sent it off...whew...I'm nervous now! (I was literally sweating as I typed!)


Ilaria mamma to Owen, Caroline & Patrick .... loving life as expats in Asia intactlact.gifnovaxnocirc.gifuc.jpgnamaste.gif
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#8 of 13 Old 09-22-2003, 08:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Well, she wrote back...all she said was:

Quote:
Thanks for the information
Then proceeded to talk about other stuff from our previous emails.

Ilaria mamma to Owen, Caroline & Patrick .... loving life as expats in Asia intactlact.gifnovaxnocirc.gifuc.jpgnamaste.gif
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#9 of 13 Old 09-22-2003, 10:21 PM
 
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The seed is planted. Give it time to germinate. You must realize this information is totally bass ackwards from everything she has heard before.



Frank
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#10 of 13 Old 09-23-2003, 05:50 PM
 
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I Agree Totally with Frank's comment - and, at least she didn't tell you to go jump off a bridge or something to that effect! This is a completely new concept that will take some time to show fruition. She has already taken the first step in thinking about it. Good for you for caring to send her information. So many "friends" don't say a word when they really could offer a word of advice.

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#11 of 13 Old 09-23-2003, 07:41 PM
 
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Well, I'm too late to make a suggestion, but maybe someone else is in a similar situation. Here's what I would have said:

"Don't worry about dealing with boy parts -- there's nothing to it. Unless someone removes his foreskin -- then you have to deal with all kinds of problems!"

-Alice, SAHM to dd (2001) and ds (2004) each of whom was a homebirth.jpg, who each self-weaned at 4.5 years bfolderchild.gif, who both fambedsingle2.gif'd, who were bothcd.gif, and both: novaxnocirc.gif.   Also, gd.gif, and goorganic.jpg!

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#12 of 13 Old 09-24-2003, 03:45 AM
 
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How True Alice!
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#13 of 13 Old 09-24-2003, 11:16 AM - Thread Starter
 
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That's so true...one time I was changing Owen's diaper and an ex-friend said: Oh, I have never seen an uncirc. penis!
She had just had a boy too! ANd I just said "That's how X (her baby) was born too!".

Ilaria mamma to Owen, Caroline & Patrick .... loving life as expats in Asia intactlact.gifnovaxnocirc.gifuc.jpgnamaste.gif
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