Do you ever try to hide your no circ son? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 49 Old 05-02-2008, 09:05 PM
 
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Originally Posted by christifav View Post
I wouldn't use the "everyone is different" line because I think that misleads children into thinking some boys were born that way. It isn't like eye color or Down's syndrome, its an alteration.

Although in the REALLY young, this may be the quickest way to change the subject...


I like the PP answer to have the kid ask their mommy. Put the burden on the parents who had their boys cut.
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#32 of 49 Old 05-02-2008, 09:33 PM
 
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I just had a 'moment' this afternoon!!

I was wearing my "circumcision harms babies and the men they become sweatshirt" when I went to pick up my DD at preschool. A mom was there with her son (approx. 10 YO) and he read my shirt and asked me what it meant...I told him (right in front of mama) to ask his mother...she gave me a really dirty look and turned an odd shade of green...

Victim of Birth Rape & Coerced ribboncesarean.gifUnnecesareanribboncesarean.gif What makes people think they can cut up someone else's genitals? nocirc.gif
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#33 of 49 Old 05-02-2008, 10:16 PM
 
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Originally Posted by A&A View Post
Answer: "That's the way all boys are born."

THEN if the kid has more questions, ya' send him back to his mom.
Yep, that's simple enough.

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#34 of 49 Old 05-02-2008, 10:36 PM
 
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I had a conversation with my 3 year old son about this the other day. I didn't expect it becuase it was HIM asking. He had a bath with a 4 year old boy (circumsized) and he exclaimed, 'hey, what kinds of peepee he gots?' I said, 'oh his is just a different kind than yours', not wanting to embarrass the other boy or his mom, but my son asked again later, and I awkwardly explained that that Cameron was missing a part that Axel had, becuase we decided to keep it for him.

I wasn't really prepared for it, but want to teach my son pride and confidance in his body, but not disdain for anyone else. In answering his questions publicly, I didn't want to embarrass the other boy, or his mother, or suggest he was imperfect, but also wanted to be clear that Axel's intact penis was normal and perfect.

It's tricky figuring out what to say- I'm very against circumsicion but I don't want to teach superiority...

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#35 of 49 Old 05-02-2008, 11:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I had a conversation with my 3 year old son about this the other day. I didn't expect it becuase it was HIM asking. He had a bath with a 4 year old boy (circumsized) and he exclaimed, 'hey, what kinds of peepee he gots?' I said, 'oh his is just a different kind than yours', not wanting to embarrass the other boy or his mom, but my son asked again later, and I awkwardly explained that that Cameron was missing a part that Axel had, becuase we decided to keep it for him.

I wasn't really prepared for it, but want to teach my son pride and confidance in his body, but not disdain for anyone else. In answering his questions publicly, I didn't want to embarrass the other boy, or his mother, or suggest he was imperfect, but also wanted to be clear that Axel's intact penis was normal and perfect.

It's tricky figuring out what to say- I'm very against circumsicion but I don't want to teach superiority...
This is exactly how I feel. Although I don't agree with circumcision, I don't want to be "haughty" (if that's even the right word) or appear that "my decision is better than yours" even if it really is.
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#36 of 49 Old 05-02-2008, 11:18 PM
 
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Since last week I am more worried about adults and what THEY can say to an intact child. A little kid is tricky enough but I am more worried all of a sudden about another UA VIOLATION trash talking behind my back about my son's genitals. My friends husband knows he is intact so I just went ahead with the diaper change. Later on my friend told how her husband was soooo happy that their son doesn't look that "disgusting", it's "so long".

What kind of UA VIOLATION has the gall to talk about about a 14 months old penis like it's a disease? Nothing more important?

Sorry, I am still occupied with that account and really started thinking about situations, both with other kids but adults at this are mainly my concern- because some won't hesitate to "shame" a child for being intact.
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#37 of 49 Old 05-02-2008, 11:38 PM
 
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I showed a pregnant friend my son's penis during a diaper change so she could see he wasn't "weird"
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#38 of 49 Old 05-03-2008, 01:18 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Fyrestorm View Post
I just had a 'moment' this afternoon!!

I was wearing my "circumcision harms babies and the men they become sweatshirt" when I went to pick up my DD at preschool. A mom was there with her son (approx. 10 YO) and he read my shirt and asked me what it meant...I told him (right in front of mama) to ask his mother...she gave me a really dirty look and turned an odd shade of green...
YOU ROCK Fyrestorm!!!
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#39 of 49 Old 05-03-2008, 01:23 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Fyrestorm View Post
I just had a 'moment' this afternoon!!

I was wearing my "circumcision harms babies and the men they become sweatshirt" when I went to pick up my DD at preschool. A mom was there with her son (approx. 10 YO) and he read my shirt and asked me what it meant...I told him (right in front of mama) to ask his mother...she gave me a really dirty look and turned an odd shade of green...
Wow just wow.
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#40 of 49 Old 05-03-2008, 03:07 AM
 
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i live in europe so the babies and adults around here aren't circumcised so i don't have to worry about this personally--but i just have to say that small children as a rule don't notice these things.
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#41 of 49 Old 05-03-2008, 03:19 AM
 
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Originally Posted by janasmama View Post
This is exactly how I feel. Although I don't agree with circumcision, I don't want to be "haughty" (if that's even the right word) or appear that "my decision is better than yours" even if it really is.
I agree with you completely. But also, one way of defusing these situations (because it is completely true) Its not that your decision is better, because not circumcising is not about making a decision. What you are doing is saying "this is not a parental decision, its not my place." Your leaving the choice up to him.
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#42 of 49 Old 05-04-2008, 11:01 AM
 
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Children are intelligent beings and if we lie to them, they will eventually figure out our lies. I don't think that is a good thing. I think we should tell our own children the truth. That is that all boys are born with a foreskin and some parents choose to cut it off but that we choose not to. Now it's a little trickier with other peoples children but they are also intelligent and should not be lied to.

I came from one of those areas where every male child was circumcised but I remember when I saw the first foreskin. I recognized the difference and somehow figured out that what I was seeing was normal and that I was not normal. However, it had been instilled in me that we didn't discuss sexual organs at all and it was some years later that I learned the "why" of the difference. I would have been quite upset if my parents had lied to me or if I had asked and they had not addressed my concerns with complete candor.


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#43 of 49 Old 05-04-2008, 12:11 PM
 
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The original poster is in California - so am I and I have three intact sons. I don't make it a point to preach or flaunt intactness. We're in northern Cal and I know several middle class caucasian families who have gone the intact route. At least around here, it is an increasingly viable option and highly educated folks are often pro-intact.

I'd suggest just chilling out - over time you may find that your son is not alone.
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#44 of 49 Old 05-04-2008, 02:06 PM
 
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Originally Posted by MarnieMax View Post
The original poster is in California - so am I and I have three intact sons. I don't make it a point to preach or flaunt intactness. We're in northern Cal and I know several middle class caucasian families who have gone the intact route. At least around here, it is an increasingly viable option and highly educated folks are often pro-intact.

I'd suggest just chilling out - over time you may find that your son is not alone.
Once I was babysitting two different boys. One was intact, he was two. The other was 4 yrs old. He was circ'd.

I was changing the two yr old intact kid's diaper and the circ'd 4 yr old noticed he was different. He said, "What is that?".

I said, "Thats a foreskin. All boys are born with one, even you."

This was 6 yrs ago. I didn't have an intact ds at the time yet but I knew enough by that time to KNOW for sure it wasn't happening to another ds of mine.
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#45 of 49 Old 05-04-2008, 02:12 PM
 
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Originally Posted by A&A View Post
Answer: "That's the way all boys are born."

THEN if the kid has more questions, ya' send him back to his mom.
yep done that i also use "this is the way god made him" he is young and will not get any comments but if you hear them make a comment back even saying "thats his forskin". thats enought for them to go asking what it is. the down side of this is that they will then tell the child that it was something bad that they had taken off now he is better now that they took it of.
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#46 of 49 Old 05-04-2008, 02:39 PM
 
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Here in Canada I would be more inclined to hide a cir'd son.

Wife to DH, Mom to my Intact Boys DS1: Born 02 Pain Med Free Hospital Birth, BF'ed for 9 Months, Partially Vax'd DS2: Born 06 via UC, BF'ed 3 years 10 months, and UnVax'd
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#47 of 49 Old 05-04-2008, 03:48 PM
 
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The only people who have ever said anything to me are adults (my step father actually did a few days ago in a "joking" manner when we visited. He said something about Andrew not being "fixed" to which i replied "just because your mother mutilated YOU and you mutilated your kids doesn't mean mine should be" which I've actually said to a few people, but not strangers). No kids or strangers have ever said anything though and I don't hide it. I don't know what I would say... definately not anything mean- i reserve mean for people who say things that are mean or knowingly ignorant.
Probably something like "that's how he is, I learned that while it used to thought to be neccessary, it isn't now"

Monther of Riley (11), Andrew (4) and Victoria (7 months)
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#48 of 49 Old 05-04-2008, 11:40 PM
 
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Originally Posted by A&A View Post
Answer: "That's the way all boys are born."

THEN if the kid has more questions, ya' send him back to his mom.
Good idea.

~*Have more than you show, speak less than you know*~

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#49 of 49 Old 05-05-2008, 11:08 AM
 
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Originally Posted by fruitful womb View Post
Once I was babysitting two different boys. One was intact, he was two. The other was 4 yrs old. He was circ'd.

I was changing the two yr old intact kid's diaper and the circ'd 4 yr old noticed he was different. He said, "What is that?".

I said, "Thats a foreskin. All boys are born with one, even you."

This was 6 yrs ago. I didn't have an intact ds at the time yet but I knew enough by that time to KNOW for sure it wasn't happening to another ds of mine.
laughup Oh, I just LOVE that answer! Love, love, love. It says it all.
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