Adhesions, Circumcision Problems, Regret...LONG POST!!! - Mothering Forums
Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 10 Old 05-17-2008, 02:43 PM - Thread Starter
 
mama2mason's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 50
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hi everyone,

I am new here, so I hope this is in the right place. This is a repeat of a post I made over at diaperswappers. While I appreciate posts of support, or info about why circ'ing is bad, I am really looking for info from people who have been there, done that. Sorry this is so long...and this may be more graphic then some of you wish to read..please no flaming, I already feel bad enough..I'll preface by saying this is making me crazy....and I am most upset that I didn't listen to my instinct....DH really wanted to circ our son...mainly for aesthetics and just because he thought that was how it "should" be (no flaming please....DH is, and all the males in DH's family, so it is what he considered "normal" Of course, hindsight is 20/20, but he no longer feels that way). But he said ultimately it was a joint decision, and he would support either one. We decided to have the circ done. I knew my husband would support me if I didn't want to, but I also wanted to honor his feelings so I decided it would be okay. (Again, no flaming please.) The day of the circ.....I was literally sobbing when they came to get him....ds was nursing, and I asked if he could finish, but the nurse said that the Dr. needed him right then....okay, clue number one...I should have listened to the gut instinct that said I didn't want my baby pulled from my breast.....I sent my husband in to be with the baby because I couldn't bear it...okay clue number two, how could i send ds to be subjected to something I couldn't bear to watch myself <insert tremendous guilt here>. When ds came back, I just cried and held him and nursed him....ds had no problems eating or sleeping like some circumcised infants, except that every time he urinated he would scream bloody murder....which just cemented the decision never to circ again......eventually the circ healed....except that I was noticing that his penis still looked uncircumcised, but I figured maybe it was just swelling, etc? Though I kept having this nagging feeling that something wasn't right. The pediatrician told me everything was okay....I finally switched docs.....the new doc said he had penile adhesions...no one EVER told us that we should have been pulling back the skin to avoid adhesions...heck, no one ever even mentioned adhesions! Now mind you, ds never seemed to have any pain or discomfort (after the circ healed I mean), it was more aesthetic. The new Dr. recommended using EMLA cream, and lysing or pulling back the adhesions....we didn't know this was not a good idea, and pediatrician acted like it was no big thing, so we agreed. Our son tolerated this fine, but again hindsight is 20/20 and I wouldn't ever do it again. But after this, the penis appeared normal again at least with regards to the adhesions...but still is a "hidden penis"- that is that if you just take his diaper off, it appears he is non-circumcised as all you see is foreskin unless it is retracted. Over time though, the adhesions have stuck again. The doctor says there is definitely "redundant foreskin" and adhesions, but that the adhesions will clear up themselves as his penis grows, and as he continues to have erections. But because he is circumcised, only not.....when he urinates, the urine sits inside the foreskin a little.....his penis has a horrible putrid stale urine odor when we change him, and his urethra is a little red. I thought I should pull the skin back to clean the area (since he is circumcised), but I definitely don't want to do that as my son just fusses and wriggles away...I don't know if he is in pain, or just sensitive (his head is not exposed like that of a fully circumcised infant, so the skin hasn't toughened up) and doesn't want me to touch him....though I assume he is in pain, as I can't imagine most toddlers protesting as much to being cleaned after a diaper change? Well anyway, my husband and I feel terribly terribly guilty and are concerned about aesthetic and physical complications. I am also wondering if maybe the doctor did it this way on purpose. Because I didn't go in the room, and only my husband went, the doctor came in my room to personally see me before the procedure. I was VERY upset, and asked about using numbing agents (which he said he would, but I have now learned after the fact that he didn't even allow enough time for it to work even if he did use it.) I am SURE the doctor could see that I was visibly upset, so maybe he was conservative (ugh, if that can even describe the procedure..I hope you know what I mean) in it because he knew I wasn't 100% on board? I wish I could take back that moment...that I just said no, that I did anything...to add insult to injury, when they took my son I was hysterical...MIL was in the room at the time, and she said, "Well..it's not the last time he'll hurt in his life when you wish he didn't." WTF? Who says that? I also had a huge amount of pressure from my dad, who said we "had" to do it. I wish I was better armed with information, arguments, etc...and I wish I did the job of a mother and protecting my poor son. Don't get me wrong, I am GLAD he has extra foreskin, and that it isn't a tight circ....but I am SO SO worried about the adhesions...it is adhered around the entire circumference. Do these really release on their own? I cry over this, as I don't want him to have physical or aesthetic complications....please don't flame me for decisions past or present, we are doing the best we can...and feel like we don't know where to turn. Despite doctor's reassurences from the very beginning that everything would be fine and he would "grow into it" I can't fight the nagging feeling that something isn't right....we saw one pediatric urologist who noted redundant foreskin and adhesions, and said we could redo the circ if we wanted, but I can't see putting my son through that again. But I am afraid of what will happen with these adhesions, as his skin is essentially stuck to itself...you can't see the rim around the head of his penis at all. (Actually, there is one TINY area, maybe as big as one or two pin heads that appears to be separate, and does have smegma in it....could that mean it is starting to separate?

Everyone says that the adhesions will correct themselves over time. My son is now 23 months old, and I have seen no improvement in the adhesions. Are there families out there that have toddlers with adhesions still? Are there moms of older children who once had adhesions, and took this long (or longer) to heal? I am so unsure of how to treat his penis, because he is sort of circumcised and sort of not. So it's not like care for the intact penis is right for him, but because of the extra foreskin and adhesions, neither is care for the circumcised penis. Our son's urethra seems irritated much of the time, as does the foreskin....sometimes the foreskin is red around the urethral opening, as well as the urethra. Some mornings he wakes up and the foreskin is a swollen, puffy, red ring around his penis....not infected or anything, just looks like swelling from friction or urine or something. I just want to be sure we do the right thing. Everyone says leave it alone and it will fix itself. We certainly hope that's true, and that's what we would like to do....but I have also heard of mamas who waited and waited and waited, and nothing got better. Then they needed surgery as older children to fix the adhesions. We don't want to put him through surgery, but also don't want him to be more deformed. (Though we managed to deform him by circ'ing )We worry about skin bridges, etc. I just don't see how they fix themselves. If you cut open your knee, and then the skin heals and adheres back to itself, it's not going to just open up again on it's own. So if this circumcision cut has healed back to the head of his penis, I just don't see how it will separate on it's own. It's not like an uncircumcised baby, where the skin just naturally retracts on it's own after a while. This has been cut once, and so is scar tissue now. I am just hoping everyone is right, and these adhesions (I should say THIS adhesion, since it is basically one big adhesion all the way around the head of his penis) resolve on their own in time. I'd be grateful for info from anyone who has experienced/is experiencing this, and anyone in general.

Another poster on diaperswappers said not to worry unless they were on the "scar line". I'm not exactly sure what that means, but it's not that his foreskin doesn't retract. It does roll smoothly on and off the head......it's just that right around the head, along the whole rim, it is stuck to the shaft....if that clarifies things any. Anyone else go through anything like this? Any info/advice/ideas/etc....thanks!

ETA: Needless to say, we will never circ another baby again, and will also tell everyone we know why they shouldn't...and I do feel fortunate that the doctor left extra foreskin...we are hoping best case scenario that the adhesions separate on their own, and that his penis will then resemble (in some ways) an uncircumcised penis. We just aren't sure if adhesions really fix themselves, if the growth/function of things is being hindered by them, or what will happen as he continues to grow if that stays stuck.
mama2mason is offline  
#2 of 10 Old 05-17-2008, 03:51 PM
 
perspective's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,253
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by mama2mason View Post
Hi everyone,


Another poster on diaperswappers said not to worry unless they were on the "scar line". I'm not exactly sure what that means, but it's not that his foreskin doesn't retract. It does roll smoothly on and off the head......it's just that right around the head, along the whole rim, it is stuck to the shaft....if that clarifies things any. Anyone else go through anything like this? Any info/advice/ideas/etc....thanks!
Well that other poster said not to worry unless the adhesions are on the scar line, because there are two kinds of adhesions. The first are natural adhesions, intact boys have these, and they break free between 3- adulthood. Now circed boys have these as well, when they have extra foreskin, and the skin naturally reattaches, as it attempts to do the job nature intended it to (which is to protect the penis head from dirt, and injury.)

The second kind are called surgical adhesions, and these do not resolve on their own. Surgical adhesions is caused when skin on circ wound does not heal properly or in the right place, creating skin bridges.(I have a very minor skin bridge, but more severe ones can cause more problems).

This poster asked if it was on the circ/scar line because that is a key sign if the adhesions are surgical. I am so sorry for everything you have gone through (and what you may still have in store) but if this is a surgical adhesion, then you do have a serious issue to deal with, especially since its taking in most of the penis head. Now I do not know too much on this subject (just the basics, so dont assume the worst just yet) I strongly suggest PMing the user "Frankly Speaking" he knows a lot about this area, and at the very least can probably lead you in the right direction in figuring out whats going on, and what your next step should be.

good luck to you both, and your son.
perspective is offline  
#3 of 10 Old 05-17-2008, 04:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
mama2mason's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 50
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by perspective View Post
Well that other poster said not to worry unless the adhesions are on the scar line, because there are two kinds of adhesions. The first are natural adhesions, intact boys have these, and they break free between 3- adulthood. Now circed boys have these as well, when they have extra foreskin, and the skin naturally reattaches, as it attempts to do the job nature intended it to (which is to protect the penis head from dirt, and injury.)

The second kind are called surgical adhesions, and these do not resolve on their own. Surgical adhesions is caused when skin on circ wound does not heal properly or in the right place, creating skin bridges.(I have a very minor skin bridge, but more severe ones can cause more problems).

This poster asked if it was on the circ/scar line because that is a key sign if the adhesions are surgical. I am so sorry for everything you have gone through (and what you may still have in store) but if this is a surgical adhesion, then you do have a serious issue to deal with, especially since its taking in most of the penis head. Now I do not know too much on this subject (just the basics, so dont assume the worst just yet) I strongly suggest PMing the user "Frankly Speaking" he knows a lot about this area, and at the very least can probably lead you in the right direction in figuring out whats going on, and what your next step should be.

good luck to you both, and your son.
Thank you for taking the time to respond...How do I tell if it is on the scar line or not? I will definitely PM "Frankly Speaking" as well. I feel terrible too, as I should have been more informed, and should have made a better decision. I struggle with (well deserved) guilt every day, and my son is almost two...it is not something I can forgive myself for. I am scared to rely on a pediatric urologist, as I fear they will recommended MORE surgery, even if it isn't warranted, or the right thing to do. If they are the medical professionals, and we can't trust their information, how do we even know what is right or wrong? Suffice it to say if we have other boys, they won't be getting circ'ed.
mama2mason is offline  
#4 of 10 Old 05-17-2008, 04:03 PM
 
nini02's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Southern MN
Posts: 266
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by mama2mason View Post
Thank you for taking the time to respond...How do I tell if it is on the scar line or not? I will definitely PM "Frankly Speaking" as well. I feel terrible too, as I should have been more informed, and should have made a better decision. I struggle with (well deserved) guilt every day, and my son is almost two...it is not something I can forgive myself for. Suffice it to say if we have other boys, they won't be getting circ'ed.
I already responded over on DS, but I just wanted to send more hugs to you & your son. I'm so sorry for what you are both going through

Stephanie ~ Mama to Avery (7/07) & Iona (3/10)
nini02 is offline  
#5 of 10 Old 05-17-2008, 04:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
mama2mason's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 50
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by nini02 View Post
I already responded over on DS, but I just wanted to send more hugs to you & your son. I'm so sorry for what you are both going through

Thank you so much, the hugs should really go to my son...I suppose many would say as parents, we are reaping what we sowed. I know I keep posting this everywhere, but I just feel like I don't know what to believe anymore...I'm just trying to get lots and lots of opinions....some doctors say adhesions are fine and will release, others say if you leave them you'll have skin bridges and complications....and being that my son is now half circed and half not...I don't even know what the right way to care for him is....
mama2mason is offline  
#6 of 10 Old 05-17-2008, 04:22 PM
 
MCatLvrMom2A&X's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: With Vin Diesel ;) YUMMMM
Posts: 14,793
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
It can take until puberty for the connections between foreskin and glans to release on the intact penis so it can also take that long for them to release on one that has a loose circ like your ds.

Now days they do the looser circs because of the problems men were having with high and tight circs so tat is probably why your ds has a loose circ rather than the Dr. going concervative because of your feelings.

I am sorry you had to deal with so much and your ds as well

I have some adhesion links if you want to read them let me know. You may have already found them though.

Even if he does have adhesions that wont release on their own I personal feel very strongly that HE should decide how or if to fix them when he is old enough. He may be like my dh and choose to keep them or they may need to be fixed but the choose should be 100% his you can still give him that much.

There is a condition called meateal sp* stenosis were the urethra starts to scar and close off and needs correction some signs can be redness, pain and a very thin stream of urine that keeps getting smaller over time. I dont have any links on that condition but hopefully someone else does.

Adhesions: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/q...&dopt=Abstract

Adheasions: http://www.mothersagainstcirc.org/adhesions.htm

Adhesions: http://www.cirp.org/library/complications/ponsky2/

Adhesions: http://www.kidsgrowth.com/resources/...il.cfm?id=3420

Adhesions: http://www.medem.com/medlb/article_d...NC&sub_cat=474

Adhesions: http://www.henryfordhealth.org/19160.cfm

Adhesions: http://www.circumstitions.com/Complic.html

Adhesions: http://www.cirp.org/library/complications/persad/

 
SAHMlady.gifread.giflovin' trekkie.giffan intactivist.gifwinner.jpg to loveeyes.gifenergy.gifDD 10/00 & superhero.gifmoon.gifDS 10/04 ribbonpb.gifIf your ds is intact, keep him safe, visit the Case Against Circ forumnocirc.gifCirc, a personal choice, Your sonsyes.gifbrokenheart.gif11/98brokenheart.gif6/99ribbonbrown.gifanti-tobaccoribbonyellow.gifThyroid cancer survivor. With cat.gif& goldfish.gif & (Boxer)dog2.gif wishing 4 whale.gif&ribbonwhite.gifsigncirc1.gifselectivevax.gifdelayedvax.gif

MCatLvrMom2A&X is offline  
#7 of 10 Old 05-17-2008, 05:27 PM
 
foreskin friendly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: PA
Posts: 366
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
mama..
I can relate and give you some personal, 'from my own experience' advice ...
No, we opted not to circ, BUT my son went in for an unrelated surgery and was surgically and forcibly retracted WITHOUT our consent when he had just turned 2 and was basically unretractible still.

That is the moment someone introduced me to this forum.

I was told to continuously retract and apply neosporin to a raw-bloody glans (penis head and what was previously the adjoining foreskin)...the doctor who told me this is the ignorant one who must have assumed that every INTACT (NOT UNCIRCUMCISED) male should be fully retractible by age 2, and that smegma is bad and that my son must have phimosis...

My intuition was screaming out that it was wrong...my son went through enough trauma, there was no reason he needed to be continuously hurt by us during diaper changes-- the people he loved and trusted...but I was terrified, losing sleep over what to do NOW to protect him in the future from any pain/trauma!
I spoke with Marilyn Milos, John Geisheker from Doctors Opposing Circumcision and the wonderful people HERE. With their support, Joe and I made the decision to leave his foreskin alone, take the chance that he may need lysing to release adhesions when he is older (and able to have appropriate pain-meds for and after) ... which he probably will... fingers crossed, he won't....BUT...

He now plays with his foreskin and has adhesions around about half of the circumference of his penis.. sounds pretty much like your son's, except not ALL the way around. It was worse, little by little smegma would form and things would release IN THEIR OWN TIME. But it seems like its done doing all of the releasing it is going to for now. He is severely attched by scar tissue at the frenulum...

I WON'T EVEN CONSIDER any type of intervention now... not until he's reached/passed puberty, and only if he wants.. unless he is in PAIN. He isn't now.. trust me, he couldn't be any happier with his penis right now!

What concerns me is that you said his urethra and around the coronal ridge is a little red.. if anyone has been manipulating his penis, that might be one culprit. The other maybe what you're using to wipe.. alot of wipes have alcohol (a bad thing for a moist, sensitive area.. would be like us using alcohol wipes for our vagina...invites all sorts of imbalances, yeast infections, etc...)

I would leave his penis alone COMPLETELY, and only when you have to wipe away feces that might get near/in it, use a nasal aspirator with clean water. Otherwise the urine will be washed away in a bathe (or just leave his diaper under him and rinse with water so you don't rub and irritate)...

Your son has been through enough! Let his penis be...if you are breastfeeding, you can put breastmilk on it.. NO WIPES!!! BAD BAD BAD!!!...try that first and see if that is what is irritating it possibly.. the other thing may be your diapers.. (consider cloth-I didn't honestly read your siggy...)

PLEASE do not go consulting all sorts of other pediatric urologists.. they are just going to make him more traumatized the more his penis is handled (and although he will forget, the psychological damage is there.. and will always be - don't add to it!! KYIM?)

If something needs to be done... it can wait@! AND it is BEST to wait and see if things take their course naturally!!!

P.S. coincidentally, my daughter has labial adhesions and we won't be doing anything unless it is difficult for her to pee...NO lysing.. which YES, two nurses I talked with said they sometimes do right in the hospital once they are born!) and no Premarin cream...once she reaches puberty, the hormones should release these just as they should help correct mine and your sons adhesions (hopefully completely)...(note: my mom said I had these too as a baby and released during puberty...the body has an amazing way of dealing w/healing itself!)

...until then, unless he has trouble peeing, get on with enjoying your son...and remember, medicine can fix whatever infection (if there is one) that he might possible encounter.. NOT CIRC!!
IF you do consult any further doc's (which I really really wouldn't, unless to address an infection!).. run like hell, as fast as you can from anyone who suggests lysing or worse yet, another circ!! Your son will probably just end up with more (probably worse) adhesions again!! His body is trying to heal itself back to its natural state!

(and BTW, I'm very glad to hear that you won't ever circ again...and thank you for saying you will share your story with others!)
Good Luck mama...and stop beating yourself up...we live, we learn, we know better, we do better, ya know?
foreskin friendly is offline  
#8 of 10 Old 05-17-2008, 06:21 PM - Thread Starter
 
mama2mason's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 50
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by foreskin friendly View Post
mama..
I can relate and give you some personal, 'from my own experience' advice ...
No, we opted not to circ, BUT my son went in for an unrelated surgery and was surgically and forcibly retracted WITHOUT our consent when he had just turned 2 and was basically unretractible still.

That is the moment someone introduced me to this forum.

I was told to continuously retract and apply neosporin to a raw-bloody glans (penis head and what was previously the adjoining foreskin)...the doctor who told me this is the ignorant one who must have assumed that every INTACT (NOT UNCIRCUMCISED) male should be fully retractible by age 2, and that smegma is bad and that my son must have phimosis...

My intuition was screaming out that it was wrong...my son went through enough trauma, there was no reason he needed to be continuously hurt by us during diaper changes-- the people he loved and trusted...but I was terrified, losing sleep over what to do NOW to protect him in the future from any pain/trauma!
I spoke with Marilyn Milos, John Geisheker from Doctors Opposing Circumcision and the wonderful people HERE. With their support, Joe and I made the decision to leave his foreskin alone, take the chance that he may need lysing to release adhesions when he is older (and able to have appropriate pain-meds for and after) ... which he probably will... fingers crossed, he won't....BUT...

He now plays with his foreskin and has adhesions around about half of the circumference of his penis.. sounds pretty much like your son's, except not ALL the way around. It was worse, little by little smegma would form and things would release IN THEIR OWN TIME. But it seems like its done doing all of the releasing it is going to for now. He is severely attched by scar tissue at the frenulum...

I WON'T EVEN CONSIDER any type of intervention now... not until he's reached/passed puberty, and only if he wants.. unless he is in PAIN. He isn't now.. trust me, he couldn't be any happier with his penis right now!

What concerns me is that you said his urethra and around the coronal ridge is a little red.. if anyone has been manipulating his penis, that might be one culprit. The other maybe what you're using to wipe.. alot of wipes have alcohol (a bad thing for a moist, sensitive area.. would be like us using alcohol wipes for our vagina...invites all sorts of imbalances, yeast infections, etc...)

I would leave his penis alone COMPLETELY, and only when you have to wipe away feces that might get near/in it, use a nasal aspirator with clean water. Otherwise the urine will be washed away in a bathe (or just leave his diaper under him and rinse with water so you don't rub and irritate)...

Your son has been through enough! Let his penis be...if you are breastfeeding, you can put breastmilk on it.. NO WIPES!!! BAD BAD BAD!!!...try that first and see if that is what is irritating it possibly.. the other thing may be your diapers.. (consider cloth-I didn't honestly read your siggy...)

PLEASE do not go consulting all sorts of other pediatric urologists.. they are just going to make him more traumatized the more his penis is handled (and although he will forget, the psychological damage is there.. and will always be - don't add to it!! KYIM?)

If something needs to be done... it can wait@! AND it is BEST to wait and see if things take their course naturally!!!

P.S. coincidentally, my daughter has labial adhesions and we won't be doing anything unless it is difficult for her to pee...NO lysing.. which YES, two nurses I talked with said they sometimes do right in the hospital once they are born!) and no Premarin cream...once she reaches puberty, the hormones should release these just as they should help correct mine and your sons adhesions (hopefully completely)...(note: my mom said I had these too as a baby and released during puberty...the body has an amazing way of dealing w/healing itself!)

...until then, unless he has trouble peeing, get on with enjoying your son...and remember, medicine can fix whatever infection (if there is one) that he might possible encounter.. NOT CIRC!!
IF you do consult any further doc's (which I really really wouldn't, unless to address an infection!).. run like hell, as fast as you can from anyone who suggests lysing or worse yet, another circ!! Your son will probably just end up with more (probably worse) adhesions again!! His body is trying to heal itself back to its natural state!

(and BTW, I'm very glad to hear that you won't ever circ again...and thank you for saying you will share your story with others!)
Good Luck mama...and stop beating yourself up...we live, we learn, we know better, we do better, ya know?
Thanks for your response and info mama....we are using both cloth diapers and wipes....it seems his urethra, and the foreskin right around his urethra (he still looks uncircumcised) get bright red and irritated...I'm thinking maybe it's friction from rubbing on his diaper? He does have a little spot of smegma....and a tiny area that looks like it is separate from the head...does this mean the adhesions might be starting to come apart? I'm glad to hear the adhesions may separate on their own.
mama2mason is offline  
#9 of 10 Old 05-17-2008, 06:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
mama2mason's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 50
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by foreskin friendly View Post
mama..
I can relate and give you some personal, 'from my own experience' advice ...
No, we opted not to circ, BUT my son went in for an unrelated surgery and was surgically and forcibly retracted WITHOUT our consent when he had just turned 2 and was basically unretractible still.

That is the moment someone introduced me to this forum.

I was told to continuously retract and apply neosporin to a raw-bloody glans (penis head and what was previously the adjoining foreskin)...the doctor who told me this is the ignorant one who must have assumed that every INTACT (NOT UNCIRCUMCISED) male should be fully retractible by age 2, and that smegma is bad and that my son must have phimosis...

My intuition was screaming out that it was wrong...my son went through enough trauma, there was no reason he needed to be continuously hurt by us during diaper changes-- the people he loved and trusted...but I was terrified, losing sleep over what to do NOW to protect him in the future from any pain/trauma!
I spoke with Marilyn Milos, John Geisheker from Doctors Opposing Circumcision and the wonderful people HERE. With their support, Joe and I made the decision to leave his foreskin alone, take the chance that he may need lysing to release adhesions when he is older (and able to have appropriate pain-meds for and after) ... which he probably will... fingers crossed, he won't....BUT...

He now plays with his foreskin and has adhesions around about half of the circumference of his penis.. sounds pretty much like your son's, except not ALL the way around. It was worse, little by little smegma would form and things would release IN THEIR OWN TIME. But it seems like its done doing all of the releasing it is going to for now. He is severely attched by scar tissue at the frenulum...

I WON'T EVEN CONSIDER any type of intervention now... not until he's reached/passed puberty, and only if he wants.. unless he is in PAIN. He isn't now.. trust me, he couldn't be any happier with his penis right now!

What concerns me is that you said his urethra and around the coronal ridge is a little red.. if anyone has been manipulating his penis, that might be one culprit. The other maybe what you're using to wipe.. alot of wipes have alcohol (a bad thing for a moist, sensitive area.. would be like us using alcohol wipes for our vagina...invites all sorts of imbalances, yeast infections, etc...)

I would leave his penis alone COMPLETELY, and only when you have to wipe away feces that might get near/in it, use a nasal aspirator with clean water. Otherwise the urine will be washed away in a bathe (or just leave his diaper under him and rinse with water so you don't rub and irritate)...

Your son has been through enough! Let his penis be...if you are breastfeeding, you can put breastmilk on it.. NO WIPES!!! BAD BAD BAD!!!...try that first and see if that is what is irritating it possibly.. the other thing may be your diapers.. (consider cloth-I didn't honestly read your siggy...)

PLEASE do not go consulting all sorts of other pediatric urologists.. they are just going to make him more traumatized the more his penis is handled (and although he will forget, the psychological damage is there.. and will always be - don't add to it!! KYIM?)

If something needs to be done... it can wait@! AND it is BEST to wait and see if things take their course naturally!!!

P.S. coincidentally, my daughter has labial adhesions and we won't be doing anything unless it is difficult for her to pee...NO lysing.. which YES, two nurses I talked with said they sometimes do right in the hospital once they are born!) and no Premarin cream...once she reaches puberty, the hormones should release these just as they should help correct mine and your sons adhesions (hopefully completely)...(note: my mom said I had these too as a baby and released during puberty...the body has an amazing way of dealing w/healing itself!)

...until then, unless he has trouble peeing, get on with enjoying your son...and remember, medicine can fix whatever infection (if there is one) that he might possible encounter.. NOT CIRC!!
IF you do consult any further doc's (which I really really wouldn't, unless to address an infection!).. run like hell, as fast as you can from anyone who suggests lysing or worse yet, another circ!! Your son will probably just end up with more (probably worse) adhesions again!! His body is trying to heal itself back to its natural state!

(and BTW, I'm very glad to hear that you won't ever circ again...and thank you for saying you will share your story with others!)
Good Luck mama...and stop beating yourself up...we live, we learn, we know better, we do better, ya know?
Thank you for sharing your story...I can't believe someone retracted him without your permission. My son almost looks like he wasn't circumcised....the foreskin protrudes past the tip of his penis. Sometimes I wonder, since the doc saw me so upset, if maybe he just retracted him, and didn't even circ! Of course, I know he couldn't get away with that...just wishful thinking! Truly though, he does appear uncircumcised at first glance! I am glad he has the extra skin, though...I agree it's best to leave him alone, I just hope he will grow normally, and that the adhesions won't impede anything.
mama2mason is offline  
#10 of 10 Old 05-18-2008, 09:01 AM
 
momto4kids's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: WI
Posts: 255
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by mama2mason View Post
Thanks for your response and info mama....we are using both cloth diapers and wipes....it seems his urethra, and the foreskin right around his urethra (he still looks uncircumcised) get bright red and irritated...I'm thinking maybe it's friction from rubbing on his diaper? He does have a little spot of smegma....and a tiny area that looks like it is separate from the head...does this mean the adhesions might be starting to come apart? I'm glad to hear the adhesions may separate on their own.

for both you and your DS! I don't have any info on your original post, but wanted to respond to a couple of things....

Your quote above regarding the irritation ~ my youngest DS is not circ'd and we have this often.....we cloth use cloth diapers on him ~ every so often we notice that the opening is somewhat red looking. It is usually from being in his diaper too long .

Someone else mentioned Meatal Stenosis ~ I don't have any links on this, but I can tell you my experience w/ it. We circ'd our oldest 2 boys ~ my 2nd one developed meatal stenosis.....he is 7 & we let him decided if he wanted to go through the surgery to have it corrected.......he flat out agreed to it. I did not want to put him through any more surgery, but realized we had no other choice really. He was in pain & it needed to be dealt with.

Is your Ds in pain at all??? That would be a deciding factor in how things are treated.......

You came to the right place for this ~ don't worry about flaming, many of us (including the husbands) have come to realize too late what we did to our boys

Dana
momto4kids is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off