41 weeks and pissy (long vent) - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 12 Old 11-21-2008, 12:36 PM - Thread Starter
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I'm 41 weeks today, and I have become an evil b***h. I find I am most irritated with those who are being most helpful and nicest to me. This is perplexing, but I can't seem to stop myself!

DH asks me, every time I call him at work, "How are you?!" which has become his euphemism for "Are you in labor?!" Like I would call my husband at work, while in labor, but neglect to inform him of that. "Hey, honey, can you grab some dinner rolls on your way home? 'Kay, thanks. [Hang up.] Oh shoot. I knew there was something else I meant to tell him..." Yesterday I called after my MW appointment to say baby did great on the non-stress test and she's in a great position for labor and my blood pressure is great, and instead of being able to feel happy, I just feel like a giant failure because before I can say anything, he's like, "How are you?! What's up?!" I literally have stopped saying "Hello" and just say "I'm not in labor" at the beginning of every phone conversation.

My dad has been here for a week (waiting around...) helping watch our toddler, and he's being so generous and awesome, but all I can do is feel angry that he refuses to put her down for a nap when I'm out (at one of the gazillion appointments I have all the time), so she's an overtired wreck, and he can't figure out how to do anything at the same time that he's watching her (can't eat lunch, can't go use the bathroom, etc.). I'm like, dude, you've lived a long time and have accomplished a lot of things and you can't watch a toddler and take a pee break at the same time?!

Then last night, they're both "teasing" me about my newfound zeal for RRL tea and Evening Primrose Oil caplets, which I'm now chugging at my midwife's instruction. They start talking about how, "Oh, if you're 41 weeks pregnant I could tell you to strap a rock to your head and, look! It made you go into labor!" (Because I'm bound to go into labor at some point anyway.) And saying, "Does that really work," and talking about how FDA studies are disproving all these different herbal remedies, and I'm like, midwives have been using herbs since before there was an FDA and before there were doctors and before there were pharmaceuticals, and maybe this doesn't work at all, but I'm more likely to believe my midwife with 20+ years of experience and hundreds of years of tradition behind her than you yahoos sitting on the couch. And, also, do you need to shoot me down when I have something that is giving me hope that we can get the baby out before I have to give up my home birth and go to the hospital and be induced!?

So then I have a total breakdown, and DH starts arguing with me about how people are just excited, and he's excited, and they're just teasing, and basically why can't I look at things from anyone else's point of view? (!) And also, I wasn't "like this" last time (when DD was 12 days past her date). Are men just giant throbbing idiots who can't tell when to suck it up and just say, "Oh I'm so sorry, I had no idea this was upsetting you I won't do it again?!" Do I have to write that on a piece of posterboard with a big, thick marker and tell him to just read it out loud? Does it really seem like a good time to have a logical conversation right now? NO. It's time for you to be very very contrite.

Ok. Thanks for listening. I know there's, like, nobody else in the DDC who's still pregnant, so I might just be typing this to the ether! And I know I'm being partially ridiculous, but I somehow feel entitled.

SAHM to Ada 8/15/2006, Calla 11/22/2008, and Wright 6/16/2011

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#2 of 12 Old 11-21-2008, 01:02 PM
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#3 of 12 Old 11-21-2008, 01:12 PM
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I am so sorry bax. I also had to preface ALL phone conversations with "no labor yet..." and it was SO DANG AGGRAVATING, and i didn't have all the other stressors that you do. (((((big huge heart hugs mama))))) I am praying peace for you and fast and easy labor vibes hitting you upside the head, like NOW!
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#4 of 12 Old 11-21-2008, 02:28 PM
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Hey, I'm just 40+1 but you are not the last one in our DDC! I'm dealing with the same apprehension about being induced and I have been answering the phone dreading the question "are you in labor?". Yes, I'm in labor. That's why I'm on the phone with you!

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Any time scientists disagree, it's because we have insufficient data. Then we can agree on what kind of data to get; we get the data; and the data solves the problem. Either I'm right, or you're right, or we're both wrong. And we move on. That kind of conflict resolution does not exist in politics or religion.

-Neil deGrasse Tyson
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#5 of 12 Old 11-21-2008, 02:38 PM - Thread Starter
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Thanks so much everyone. I'm glad I'm not the only pregnant person left out here! And I know I'm being crazed and somewhat irrational, but it's nice to get some hugs nonetheless.

SAHM to Ada 8/15/2006, Calla 11/22/2008, and Wright 6/16/2011

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#6 of 12 Old 11-21-2008, 02:39 PM
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I hit 39 weeks tomorrow, so you're not alone at all!

I feel your frustration. Just get it all out and ptooey! on them!!

dizzy.gif DS1: 10/89 - DD1: 06/94 - DD2: 02/97 - DS2: 12/05 - DS3: 12/08 - DC6: ETA 04/26/12

I'll be 42 when the newest little one is born! Yowza!



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#7 of 12 Old 11-21-2008, 03:00 PM
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I hear ya bax ~ my hubby says I've been very difficult to get along with lately....gee honey I wonder why, think you could be a little more helpful with the 4 kids running around the house???
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#8 of 12 Old 11-21-2008, 03:22 PM
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Oh my God, I so could have written that post word for word. And it is not just men who do it, DP is even worse I think. No one understands what it is to just give up the hope of my VBAC, and walk into a hospital where I will have to fight to be induced and fight tooth and nail to keep their scalples off of me. And to add to it I have had prodromal labor multiple times, last night it was from 11 pm through 8:30 this morning, and all DP wants to know is "will there be a baby today?" Like I can just predict that for you. Then I get to listen to her whine about how tired she is off dealing with everyone at work and people calling her for updates, and she has nothing to say to them. My answer is to tell them to F off and when something happens then they will know. Why can't people understand that it is stressful to keep asking a pregnant woman if there is baby yet, or are you in labor? I already feel like my body is letting me down, I don't need you to remind me.

I hope things pick up for you soon mama!
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#9 of 12 Old 11-21-2008, 03:37 PM
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So irritating! I'm so irritated for you! I have been 15 days past my due date with my first so I know how irritating it can be. I remember people acting as if they are bugged by the fact that they are having to wait around for me since they came into town just for that event (I didn't ask for that by the way). I also remember my parents wondering "when are we supposed to come??". I don't give a crap!!

So I feel you. And you are not the only one here still pregnant! I'm due Sunday. It'll happen for you, sweetheart!! You know it will. You keep taking that EPO and RRL tea! Those poor men in your life just don't have a clue do they!!

Can't wait to hear your wonderful hb story!!


Mama to DS1 (4/04) DS2 (HBAC 11/06) DS3 (HBAC 12/08) DS4 (HBAC 1/11). Wife to one handsome hard working DH.
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#10 of 12 Old 11-21-2008, 05:12 PM
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Not in your DDC (chugging along at 26 weeks) but I'm feeling your pain. I just started my descent into the huge, miserable phase and my stepdad, who I'm unfortunately living with, decided that it would be funny to start calling me fatso and lardass and a variety of other things to describe my burgeoning hugeness, couple this with my husband leaving me 3 months ago for someone younger and my lifelong weight issues and I completely lost it. I literally had to spell out all of my insecurities for people to understand my side of it, why I was so upset...they were all just telling me I was hormonal, overreacting, etc. I was PISSED.

The thing is, I KNOW I'm being irrational, but I'm powerless over it right now. I just want to feel normal again.

: single mom extraordinaire, keeper of eew since 02/09
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#11 of 12 Old 11-21-2008, 07:44 PM
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Hi -
I totally appreciate your venting! Is is horrible that it makes me feel better to read it???

I'm at 39+2 and just got put on modified bedrest by my MW because my blood pressure went up 2 appointments in a row (its not even that high, just high for me)

So after 2 days, I now feel tortured with waiting. Was doing fine before, had energy, wanted to walk & dance and see friends. Now I feel like a total crab and I'm sick of lying on my side and have heartburn all the time because I'm trying not to be upright too much...

and of course I could just ignore it & say "I'm fine" b/c I feel fine and don't have any other pre-e symptoms but of course now every time I get out of bed I'm scared....which is great for the blood pressure, KWIM?

this afternoon I had about 6 little practice cntx and was SO EXCITED but trying to act casual and ignore them....but I really thought something was happening.....and, no, its not.....

anyhow, good luck to you mama and I hope you get some action soon!!!

DS born at home 12/08 DW in grad school for seven years running
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#12 of 12 Old 11-21-2008, 11:53 PM
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I want to offer a
Sorry you are so frustrated with everyone, but it is justifiable. I sense a bit of sarcastic humor in your post, so that makes me feel like you definitely have what it takes to make it however long you have to go (which is not long )
I hope your homebirth is wonderful!
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