Mrs. Mama, there is nothing to feel ashamed about and it is completely normal. I had ppd really bad with dd and i didn't get help until she was 4 months old. I went into therapy and it helped me tremendously. I had horrible feelings, like I wanted to throw her out the window or get in the car and drive away from her. I knew I wasn't going to do it though. Not getting any sleep isn't helping you either and can make ppd worse. If you want to talk, pm me and I can give you my phone number. There is a lot more I could write, but don't have the time right now. Did you eat your placenta?
I was very nervous that I would have it this time around and luckily I don't. Somewhat surprised too b/c of my traumatic afterbirth. I encapsulated my placenta and have taken most of the capsules. Not sure if it helped or not. But, glad I took them anyway. Also, I have a very good support system of friends to talk to as well.
Mindfully parenting DD 8/04 & DS 11/08, Human beings are the only mammals who do not nurse their offspring to full term.