good pregnancy book, and BAD pregnancy books - Mothering Forums

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Old 03-22-2008, 06:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
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so i was at target today browsing through the pregnancy book area and i flipped through "Your Pregnancy Week by WeeK", and holy mother this book is horrid. it's tone is you, the pregnant woman are most likely mildly illeterate and probably mentally compromised and need to be reminded of the most obvious things such as: and this is a direct quote in regards to weight gain "don't just let yourself go!" omfg. really? are we women just waiting around for a chance to "let ourselves go"? go where, to fat camp?

sorry i just am having serious trouble finding decent reading material. I do have some good birth books but not really any well written, informational yet not babying pregnancy books. i have Birthing from Within, and Spiritual Midwifery and Ina Mays guide to childbirth and Immaculate deception 2. but I want to read about having a holistic, healthy pregnacy without feeling like I am being insulted, is this too much to ask? lol. i think the pregnancy hormones are making me feel really overly worked up about this but come on.
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Old 03-22-2008, 07:05 PM
 
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That was the book I read while pg with my 1st. My oh my I've come a long way!

How about "A Child Is Born"
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Old 03-22-2008, 07:36 PM
 
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I like Henci Goer's Thinking Woman's Guide to Birth, but that is really about birth and not pregnancy as much.

Maybe the Dr. Sears pregnancy book? I don't have a copy anymore, but I remember it being the typical pregnancy month to month book but with good info instead of the crap in "What to Expect when You're Expecting"
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Old 03-22-2008, 10:10 PM
 
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I'm lurking here but one book I've been browsing frequently in bookstores is From the Hips--I think it just came out in the last few months. It seems to have a decent tone.

Bloomingstar Mommy to DS born 1.16.09 :
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Old 03-23-2008, 12:02 AM
 
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I'd like to get some recommendations. I just found out yesterday and this is my first. So I have no idea of what books to get. Why is "What to Except When You are Expecting" crap? That was the only book I knew of and I kinda assumed it was the standard.
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Old 03-23-2008, 12:02 AM
 
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I'd like to get some recommendations. I just found out yesterday and this is my first. So I have no idea of what books to get. Why is "What to Except When You are Expecting" crap? That was the only book I knew of and I kinda assumed it was the standard.
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Old 03-23-2008, 12:11 AM
 
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Why is "What to Except When You are Expecting" crap? That was the only book I knew of and I kinda assumed it was the standard.
It's completely fear-based and pretty much just gives the worst-case scenario for each test or situation. IMO it makes pregnancy out to be a big medical event instead of a normal life process Definitely one to stay away from!

I really like Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth.

Mama to DS R (June/06), DD K (September/07), DS M (October/08), DD R (June/09)... waiting for #5 in late 2013!!

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Old 03-23-2008, 12:16 AM
 
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oops, double post!
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Old 03-23-2008, 12:17 AM
 
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I'd like to get some recommendations. I just found out yesterday and this is my first. So I have no idea of what books to get. Why is "What to Except When You are Expecting" crap? That was the only book I knew of and I kinda assumed it was the standard.
I found that it gave quite a bit of bad advice(IMO). It may have some decent info on the facts of pregnancy, but I was annoyed when they basically say during this month, you will feel xyz and you will experience these symptoms. Like pregnancy is the same for everyone. It isn't very natural living or natural birthing oriented at all as well, whereas the Dr. Sears book talks a lot about breastfeeding and positions to use during labor and that sort of thing. I definitely think What to Expect is the standard among mainstream pregnancy books, but I'm just not a fan of the mainstream ideas about pregnancy and birth.
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Old 03-23-2008, 12:34 AM
 
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i have a whole list. ill try to come back and post them.
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Old 03-23-2008, 12:44 AM
 
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I read what to expect when your expecting when I was young and dumb and 18 and preggy, it terrified me..

If your looking for something humors I liked the girl friends guide to pregnancy, its kinda mainstream but its a funny book

this is baby #4 so I don't read anything anymore unless some new comes up, then I google for ideas lol
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Old 03-23-2008, 11:38 AM
 
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When I was PG. with my first I was using a MW that delivered in a hospital and at every visit she would always ask what I was reading and follow that with "do NOT read "what to expect"".... I'll always remember that.
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Old 03-23-2008, 09:03 PM
 
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LOL I almost started a thread ranting about Your Pg Week by Week - it is so bad...in another part they say, you can find out if youŕe pg even before your period is due by taking a home pg test, which usually range in cost from $13 to $30. !!!!
Way to make women spend far too much money on something they should definitely NOT be spending more than a dollar on (unless you really want the digital kind). I also hate their assumption that everybodyś going straight to the hospital to give birth.

In another pg book I read (I can´t remember which now) it said, ¨Tip: buy the expensive brand of pg test first. If you get the generic version youŕe just going to not believe it and run out and buy the more expensive one later." Ugh!

I like Sheila Kitzinger´s The Complete Book of Pregnancy and Childbirth and the Dr. Sears pg and birth books. Way better information. In the Kitzinger book she talks about hospital births AND she talks about homebirths, and usually uses the term ¨caregiver" instead of ¨doctor."

BTW I have no idea why my keyboard is spitting out these messed up punctuation marks. Sigh.
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Old 03-23-2008, 11:07 PM
 
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I found that it gave quite a bit of bad advice(IMO). It may have some decent info on the facts of pregnancy, but I was annoyed when they basically say during this month, you will feel xyz and you will experience these symptoms. Like pregnancy is the same for everyone. It isn't very natural living or natural birthing oriented at all as well, whereas the Dr. Sears book talks a lot about breastfeeding and positions to use during labor and that sort of thing. I definitely think What to Expect is the standard among mainstream pregnancy books, but I'm just not a fan of the mainstream ideas about pregnancy and birth.
For an alternate view, I've been thumbing through the What to Expect and I guess you take from it whatever you bring to it. If you think all mainstream ideas are bad, no matter what they're about, then this book isn't for you. If you don't presume everything in it specifically applies to you and take it as a general read of common symptoms, it can be useful. I agree that it isn't natural living/birthing oriented if that's the criteria on which you are basing "good" and "bad" (words like that just raise my moral relativist hackles). I really liked the section on diet, because it helped me rethink how transfer from low carb habits to more baby friendly habits.
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Old 03-24-2008, 01:15 AM
 
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a home pg test, which usually range in cost from $13 to $30. !!!!
Way to make women spend far too much money on something they should definitely NOT be spending more than a dollar on (unless you really want the digital kind).

In another pg book I read (I can´t remember which now) it said, ¨Tip: buy the expensive brand of pg test first. If you get the generic version youŕe just going to not believe it and run out and buy the more expensive one later." Ugh!
who in there right mind pays 30 for a hpt, i barely paid 13 for 2 digitals, after the $1 gave a very faint line-poss an evap at 11dpo.

as for the second part, even if one buys the expensive kind, one usually does more than one test anyways, and this author doesn't know the half of the POAS addiction during TTC. could you imagine how much i would be in debt if i paid $30 for every time i poas, just to see a big fat nothing staring back at me.

[/rant]
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Old 03-24-2008, 01:47 AM
 
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What to Expect When You're Expecting explains itself why it's crap, in the preface. It says that the authors wanted to create an in-depth guide to pregnancy that was different from the consumer-centered guides that had already been published, by not saying anything that might drive a wedge between physician and patient. In other words, WTEWYE never has any advice to question your doctor or research yourself (beyond reading the book) because it was specifically written that way on purpose.

That also explains its popularity. What physician with an average (30%) C-section rate would recommend Silent Knife, or Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth? Rather than recommending WTEWYE, a book written to "preserve the trust" between doctor and patient? Physicians recommend it, so everyone buys it, and everyone thinks it's the book to have because it's so popular, when the very reason for its popularity is the reason it isn't so good.
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Old 03-24-2008, 10:15 AM
 
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For an alternate view, I've been thumbing through the What to Expect and I guess you take from it whatever you bring to it. If you think all mainstream ideas are bad, no matter what they're about, then this book isn't for you. If you don't presume everything in it specifically applies to you and take it as a general read of common symptoms, it can be useful. I agree that it isn't natural living/birthing oriented if that's the criteria on which you are basing "good" and "bad" (words like that just raise my moral relativist hackles). I really liked the section on diet, because it helped me rethink how transfer from low carb habits to more baby friendly habits.
That's actually my complaint about What to Expect - that so much of it is simply irrelevant. I don't mean irrelevant to someone planning a natural birth or a homebirth, but just that a good majority of it is going to be irrelevant to any specific pregnant woman. Sometimes, too, reading about what happens to the 0.00001% of women with Pregnant Dr. Seuss Syndrome (or whatever), isn't the best thing to read when you are weepy and vulnerable. Hence, the charge of fear-mongering.

I've always thought it was ironic that the part of WTE that they did the best on - the nutrition stuff - is the part that most people ignore.

Kash, homeschooling mommy to Gillian (8/5/00) and Jacob (3/23/05)
and Brigid Eleanor (11/20/08)
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Old 03-24-2008, 10:16 AM
 
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sorry i just am having serious trouble finding decent reading material. I do have some good birth books but not really any well written, informational yet not babying pregnancy books. i have Birthing from Within, and Spiritual Midwifery and Ina Mays guide to childbirth and Immaculate deception 2. but I want to read about having a holistic, healthy pregnacy without feeling like I am being insulted, is this too much to ask? lol. i think the pregnancy hormones are making me feel really overly worked up about this but come on.
Aviva Jill Romm's Natural Pregnancy Book. Hands-down my favorite pregnancy book, period.

Kash, homeschooling mommy to Gillian (8/5/00) and Jacob (3/23/05)
and Brigid Eleanor (11/20/08)
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Old 03-24-2008, 12:56 PM
 
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I'm lurking here but one book I've been browsing frequently in bookstores is From the Hips--I think it just came out in the last few months. It seems to have a decent tone.
It does have a decent tone, and my design snob hubby has gravitated to this book over all the others so far, simply because it is colorful and has a good layout. It doesn't go into a lot of depth around certain things, but it has some of the best general information I've found about the mental and emotional effects of pregnancy.

Mom to energy.gif(11/08) and  babyboy.gif  (4/11)

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Old 03-24-2008, 01:31 PM
 
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I just picked up a copy of From The Hips yesterday and am enjoying it thus far. One of the authors also wrote Deal With It, which I really liked & gave to my baby sister.

I also picked up a copy of the Sears pregnancy book, but haven't started it yet. Other than that, most of the stuff I've been reading is more birth-oriented rather than pregnancy-oriented.

I have picked up at least a dozen books for prospective fathers (we'd be just as good with a book for prospective non-pregnant partners, but haven't found anything gender neutral), but each one has left me wanting to fling it out of the window of the bookstore. They all seem to contain such crap like "no matter how liberated a woman claims to be, she really wants a big strong man to take care of her while she's pregnant" and "if your wife wants a homebirth and you aren't comfortable with that, compromise by having her give birth in a hospital with a midwife." It's absolutely infuriating.

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Old 03-24-2008, 02:48 PM
 
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I really liked the Dr. Sears pregnancy book (and all of the others), but I also liked the A Child is Born for all of the photos.

Really, though, get something you're comfortable with, because I remember laying in bed at night thumbing through it. You want the last thing you read at night to be something positive and not worry-inducing. :-)
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Old 03-24-2008, 03:10 PM
 
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Not sure if this one was mentioned but with my last pregnancy for some reason I had (I didn't buy it) "Your Pregnancy Week By Week". That made "What to Expect..." look like the best most informative book ever!

This book had so many aweful things in it I could go on and on.
But the most offensive one was that at the end of every highlighted month, it discussed some terrible thing that might go wrong! Every friggin' month it was talking about some emergency situation. These discomforting occurances were mostly illustrated as well. No need to illustrate my full term baby with a cord wrapped around it's neck 4 times thank you.

Aweful!

amy

Mama to DS1 (4/04) DS2 (HBAC 11/06) DS3 (HBAC 12/08) DS4 (HBAC 1/11). Wife to one handsome hard working DH.
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Old 03-24-2008, 03:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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i just found aviva jill romms pregnancy book at a used bookstore for 8$, yaya! this is a pretty good one for low intervention seeking moms and for moms who want to know about herbal recs ect. the what to expect books are so disturbing to me in that everyone seems to read them and they are filled with fear based, conservative minded information and very little uplifting, spiritually minded nice things to say.

birth books are great but my baby's birth is um, like a million light years away it seems!
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Old 03-24-2008, 04:27 PM
 
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"if your wife wants a homebirth and you aren't comfortable with that, compromise by having her give birth in a hospital with a midwife." It's absolutely infuriating.
That is not a compromise.
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Old 03-24-2008, 07:15 PM
 
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That is not a compromise.
I agree. I was thinking seriously about homebirth last time, but DH wasn't real sure about it. So we did a free standing birth center birth with CNMs. THAT was a compromise!
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Old 03-24-2008, 08:42 PM
 
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My husband read the "for fathers" part of What to Expect, and said he wasn't nervous at all about this pregnancy UNTIL he read the book.

I really didn't like the nutrition section in What To Expect - I guess it's good if you mainly eat processed, packaged foods all the time, or are a super picky eater without a big range in your food choices, but if you already eat a balanced diet, it's really condescending. I don't like how they just say NO about things (like sushi, or french fries, for example) and don't explain WHY. When I read it I felt like I was being scolded! Especially right now, when I am having horrible nausea and food aversions... sorry, but I'm not going to eat according to the food pyramid when the thought of meat and dairy make me run for the toilet.

I was given a copy of The Mother of All Pregnancy Books by Ann Douglas. It's less in depth medically/scientifically that What To Expect, but I liked it's more conversational tone and sort of a "find whatever works for you" manner. I liked her sections on how to save money (on maternity clothes and baby supplies), and her reassurances that whatever weird emotional stuff you're going through is perfectly OK. I'd definitely recommend it.
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Old 03-24-2008, 08:56 PM
 
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The best pregnancy book I had was actually Mothering Magazine's pregnancy book. "Having a baby, naturally" is what it's called. It has month by month stuff, and it is very supportive and natural-minded. It has a lot of good mantras too. I enjoyed it and never felt that it made me worry.

Another great one is Pregnancy, Childbirth and the Newborn by Penny Simkin. It's got a TON of good info.

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Old 03-25-2008, 02:52 AM
 
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For an alternate view, I've been thumbing through the What to Expect and I guess you take from it whatever you bring to it. If you think all mainstream ideas are bad, no matter what they're about, then this book isn't for you. If you don't presume everything in it specifically applies to you and take it as a general read of common symptoms, it can be useful. I agree that it isn't natural living/birthing oriented if that's the criteria on which you are basing "good" and "bad" (words like that just raise my moral relativist hackles). I really liked the section on diet, because it helped me rethink how transfer from low carb habits to more baby friendly habits.
Well I wasn't using good or bad in the sense of moral judgment. I don't think birth choices or what you eat during pregnancy is an issue of morality. I was just saying that they give what I feel is poor advice, and yes, that is based upon my view of pregnancy and birth as a natural event and not a medical event.
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Old 03-25-2008, 04:08 AM
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Can someone recommend a good book/guide to prepare for an unassisted homebirth?

I read Ina Mays Guide to Childbirth and Unassisted Childbirth by Stanley, but I find both too full with spiritual bla bla and story telling.

I read birth stories by the hundreds, but I am more looking for something like a practical guide with lists of things to have at home (and alternatives if you can not access those things), a nice overview chart of the order of things that can happen and something like if X happens then try to do this and that, if Y happens before Z then you can wait X hours until it becomes a problem. And al lthe things that might be a real concern or danger and what to do about them.

All in a nice structured form to refer to quickly when in labour, because in that situation reading long paragraphs to find the right information is not really suitable if you don't have the time and if you don't remember something you read before but need to look it up quickly.
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Old 03-25-2008, 10:08 AM
 
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I read birth stories by the hundreds, but I am more looking for something like a practical guide with lists of things to have at home (and alternatives if you can not access those things), a nice overview chart of the order of things that can happen and something like if X happens then try to do this and that, if Y happens before Z then you can wait X hours until it becomes a problem. And al lthe things that might be a real concern or danger and what to do about them.

All in a nice structured form to refer to quickly when in labour, because in that situation reading long paragraphs to find the right information is not really suitable if you don't have the time and if you don't remember something you read before but need to look it up quickly.
A lot of people keep a copy of White's Emergency Childbirth on hand. There is a .pdf of it floating around the internet - if you PM me, I can email you a copy of it.

I recently read The Power of Pleasurable Childbirth and actually liked it better than Unassisted Childbirth -- not that I didn't like the latter, just that the former resonated with me more. Still not a "guide," per se, but a different perspective.

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and Brigid Eleanor (11/20/08)
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