I have totally been where you are. for the first almost 6 years of my marriage, mom was my role. I didn't realize I was doing it, I just gave up everything else I did, because my kids came first, now that in and of itself is not a bad thing, but you gotta take time for you, because if you don't, it will all fall apart. Through a few acts of serendipity, I re-discovered an activity I was passionate about, sewing dolls, and stuffed animals. My DH was so supportive of me having a hobby of my own, I didn't really know what to think, I still felt guilty about any money I spent for stuff, if it wasn't something I was making for one of the kids, or a gift. Then I had a m/c and focusing on sewing helped me through. With my DH's encouragement, I found a group of other doll makers and started attending a monthly meeting. Two or three hours once a month was more than I had ever been away from my kids, but it was so wonderful. I still come home energized, and refreashed, and far more tollerant of all the noise, and messes that come with four kids. I have also on a few occasions actually gone by myself to conferences and been away from home for up to four days. I come back with my cup so overflowing, it lasts for months. It was a hard lesson to learn, but I am so greatful I did learn it, because by occasionally taking a break, I can give so much more. My Dh has been the breadwinner for almost the last 10 years, and everytime I feel guilty about that, we sit down and add up how much all I do is worth, from day care costs, to laundry, to budget, to cleaning, to making appointments, to cooking, and teaching the kids. He always reminds me that we are in this together, and while they are my responsibility those hours he is away, they are our responsibility together, the moment he walks back through that door.