I'm mad that if I did bring any of this up, I'll feel petty and whiney.I'm mad that there's an 85% chance he won't hear me.I'm mad that if he did, it wouldn't change anything unless I initiate it myself.Which means, again, I'm bending and he sits there as ever, unchanged and oblivious.
I'm also mad that all of this will effect the quality of birth of our baby.He has no right to wield so much power and be so unaccountable!
And I'm mad that I've bawled my eyes out through this whole post.
: Mama I am so sorry. This is the last thing you need, and I think that you owe it to yourself and this baby to make him see the truth. Write him a letter, send him an email... something to try to get his attention.
write@home mama to big boy (04-06) and little boy (10-08)
and someone new in november
I am angry for you. I wish you could show him your post. When my husband and I were going through similar issues I had to use email. Turns out he was depressed, and medication helped. But in the end he just had a huge attitude adjustment, not sure why. But I'm glad, things improved.
You must be heard. It's even more frustrating to be going through this silently. :
I'm so sorry you're going through this right now.
I had a bit of a melt down on Sunday, read in the Kitchen Table thread if you are interested. I have a hard time confronting dh about things and then it tends to "blow up". Many times I feel that I am doing everything and I am making a mental checklist. My side has a lot more than his.
I understand your frustration, just wish I had something to make it all better.
Kerri blessed single mama to Teresa 8/2/02, Madeleine 5/28/04, Andrew 6/25/06, and Isabelle 11/27/08
Me and DH have to have little "resets" every now and then. He starts taking his family for granted and slacking off, spending waaaaaayyy too much time with whatever "hobby" (actually obsession) he's into and neglecting us (right now it's an MMORPG ... then I have to write him an email to let him know he's on thin ice and what he better do to fix it... and if that doesn't work, the meltdown occurs. Then the damage control. Then the honeymoon. Then we cycle again, usually with a new obsession to kill. So lucky it's not a cycle of violence, just a cycle of laziness, but it still annoying it even has to happen in the first place! :::
I'm sorry you're dealing with this! s s s
Try writing a letter? Give it to him before leaving on an errand with the kids, letting him know you'll be right back. Then he can read it with full concentration, can't inturrupt it or stop reading it to argue with you, and he'll have time to consider it while you're gone. My DH doesn't like to discuss the letter after, he just starts changing his behavior, making little steps, on his own. And out of respect I don't mention it either (and also I'm afraid mentioning it will ruin it. Like when you tell someone your kid is potty trained now, and he immediately has an accident!)
And we are joyfully awaiting a new addition in April 2011! <><
Kelly, married to the love of my life, Den , DD1 5/07 , 11/07, DD2 10/08 , DDS 8/10, expecting our next blessing this winter!
s s s
Me and DH have to have little "resets" every now and then. He starts taking his family for granted and slacking off, spending waaaaaayyy too much time with whatever "hobby" (actually obsession) he's into and neglecting us (right now it's an MMORPG ... then I have to write him an email to let him know he's on thin ice and what he better do to fix it... and if that doesn't work, the meltdown occurs. Then the damage control. Then the honeymoon. Then we cycle again, usually with a new obsession to kill. So lucky it's not a cycle of violence, just a cycle of laziness, but it still annoying it even has to happen in the first place!
Sometimes, though, some guys are so... unaware... that they need you to SPELL IT OUT FOR THEM! It's like, um, hello, are you there? And are you my husband or what?
LLL Leader, IBCLC, marathoner, mom of 2 (maybe 3 one day!)
I have slept 2 nights in a row and am feeling better,but still not enough to handle this with him...
I've BTDT on some of your issues. My DH didn't change until he saw that he could lose me. It's not all rosy, but it's definitely much better.
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