Nosey people - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 28 Old 10-15-2008, 01:40 AM - Thread Starter
 
Kleine Hexe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Posts: 6,783
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Why do people ask for a specific due date?

I understand asking for a general time frame of when baby is coming like what month. It irritates me when people prob for more.

People that have nothing to do at all in my life ask my due date. I just say "Oh, next month." They then ask when next month...what date. I blow them off saying, "We'll see what the baby decides." I've discovered that some people are not satisfied with that and keep asking, and then they get annoyed when I don't tell them. WTH?! :
Kleine Hexe is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#2 of 28 Old 10-15-2008, 02:14 AM
 
Jaysmylilpunkin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Kennesaw, GA
Posts: 235
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I am totally with you. I don't want to be specific with people cause I don't want them counting down days and not leaving me alone if and when she's overdue! People are sooo nosey!

Wife since 2004. Mommy to DS (2005) and DD (2008) and my hopefully VBA2C baby DD due Feb 2012!

lactivist.gifsaynovax.gifribboncesarean.giffamilybed2.gif

Jaysmylilpunkin is offline  
#3 of 28 Old 10-15-2008, 02:31 AM
 
two bricks shy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Austin, Tx
Posts: 330
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Heh
We've been dealing with this the entire pregnancy starting with MIL.
Then we got accused of being "secretive" by my godmother because we won't tell anyone a specific due date and again because we chose not to find out the sex of the baby until their birthday.

I agree it is rather irritating
two bricks shy is offline  
#4 of 28 Old 10-15-2008, 05:00 AM
 
OkiMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 5,391
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
It really is.. Im glad its not just me.. That and when people seem to think you HAVE to want to have the baby, that no one could want to go to close to their due date. If I have one more person say "I bet your ready for that one to come out" I might lose whats left of my sanity.

~Heather~ Mama to Miss E (1/07), Miss A (11/08), Mr.T (2/11) and Miss A (10/12) Expecting our newest blessing sometime late Sept/early Oct.. Wife to my Marine since 11/2005
OkiMom is offline  
#5 of 28 Old 10-15-2008, 09:40 AM
 
titania8's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: flint, mi
Posts: 1,332
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
i don't think my dh even knows "the" date. it doesn't matter!! i have told no one. i say either late nov, or nov/dec. or lately its been X more weeks. some people do seems to want more than that. i find it amusing to watch them squirm.

~helen~ mama to 5 yo twins jonas and micah and my 2 yo baby boy eli
titania8 is offline  
#6 of 28 Old 10-15-2008, 10:51 AM
 
chisub's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Chicago Suburbs
Posts: 431
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Now that I'm closer to term I've been saying "He's welcome to come anytime after Sunday" or "Anywhere from 1-5 weeks" and luckily people have been satisfied with that answer lately.

SAHM to DS (11/08) and EDD 3/8/11!
chisub is offline  
#7 of 28 Old 10-15-2008, 11:02 AM
 
Patchfire's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: S.S. Guns 'N' Handcuffs
Posts: 1,823
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yep, even dh doesn't know my exact 'date.' He knows I expect her before Thanksgiving, but that's about it. MIL has been incredibly persistent in asking for a date, but I just keep evading it. It's so frustrating, she obviously can tell by now that we're NOT giving out an exact date, but she keeps pressing.

Kash, homeschooling mommy to Gillian (8/5/00) and Jacob (3/23/05)
and Brigid Eleanor (11/20/08)
Patchfire is offline  
#8 of 28 Old 10-15-2008, 12:06 PM
 
EmmaWoodhouse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: With My Forever Family
Posts: 412
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I tell people 'right around Thanksgiving' And they are happy. Having a baby around a major holiday has it's advantages. But some will ask for a more specific date, but that is only because they need to know to be able to help me out if I need it.

Julie- living and learning with dh A and dc M (00), A (02), J (02), J (05), A (06), B (07), S (08), ? (10)
EmmaWoodhouse is offline  
#9 of 28 Old 10-15-2008, 12:11 PM
 
Birdie B.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,114
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yeah, people are soooooo nosy! I have given up trying to be vague, because I always get pressured to give a specific date. And now that it's so close people are getting even weirder - a teller at the bank asked me if I was dilated yet! ::

Lovestruck luxlove.gif mama to Girlie #1 energy.gifand Girlie #2 on the way!
Birdie B. is offline  
#10 of 28 Old 10-15-2008, 01:19 PM
 
selena_ski's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 773
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
yeah i think the one person i didn't want to know the date knows it. But i have told her (MIL) that i will not be accepting phone calls from her near my due date. Because she called like 15 times a day (ok it was really more like 2x) but it was annoying. It is bad enough that evey body know it can be anytime now because i am off bedrest.

she really doesn't think she called that often last time. But now she asks about appiontments, like how was you appointment? me- fine, her- well what did the MW say. nothing really. same old same old.

but then my SIL asks if i am dialted or what not. NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!! yet another reason not to get checked.
selena_ski is offline  
#11 of 28 Old 10-15-2008, 01:30 PM
 
Mrs-Mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Newport News, VA
Posts: 2,491
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Kinda the same thing with me, except it's "have you scheduled your c/s yet?". I have, in fact, scheduled my c/s but haven't told anyone yet. I just don't want to be bothered by people asking me about it all the time. I kinda wouldn't mind my IL's knowing since they'll be watching DS and I don't think they would make a big deal of it. I really don't want to tell my parents, though, because they will tell EVERYONE and I will not get a moment of peace between now and then. I kinda want to pretend that I'm not having a c/s until it actually happens (if that makes any sense). Also, my side of the family has a habit of inviting themselves to the hospital. My parents were there before we were when I went into labor (pre-term) with DS. Then, aunts, grandparents, etc started showing up. They all got to see DS through the nursery window before I got a good look at him (they next day . I don't want anyone at the hospital this time. I want to have my sweet baby girl with me, having nursed her the first time, and be out of recovery so that people see her with me for the first time. Is it so bad that I want to be able to see my baby first?

Wife to J, SAHM to W (03/06) ribboncesarean.gif at 32w4d, C (10/08) ribboncesarean.gif, and H (02/11) ribboncesarean.gif

Mrs-Mama is offline  
#12 of 28 Old 10-15-2008, 01:32 PM
 
JeanineTheOT's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 454
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yeah, I stopped the meds on monday, and everyone called me that night, yesterday morning, last night....them-'so, whats happening, how are you feeling" me-fine, the same as yesterday, I will let you know if anything is happening.

I guess they are just concerned. I just keep letting people know that we'll be fine with a baby anytime after next thursday (oct23rd). the first day of scorpio, and after 37 weeks. Beyond that, only time will tell.
JeanineTheOT is offline  
#13 of 28 Old 10-15-2008, 01:42 PM
 
KindRedSpirit's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: in a cascade of embraces
Posts: 1,784
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I may start avoiding church-Last week EVERYONE thought I was due NOW!HELLO!!!!I have said all along between Thanksgiving and Christmas!!!!Has it been halloween?Have we elected a new Pres?I swear, they are worse than my kids!

:::
KindRedSpirit is offline  
#14 of 28 Old 10-15-2008, 02:56 PM
 
peainthepod's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Chasing sanity
Posts: 2,242
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
The other day my DAD asked me if I am effaced yet! I wanted to die. I just muttered that my midwife doesn't do cervical checks and in any case, it's not really something I'm going to discuss with him.

I find myself getting less and less patient with the rudeness and nosy questions as this pregnancy goes on. I'm almost 38 weeks and have lost my ability to politely evade people. Now I just bluntly say, "I don't want to talk about it."

Oh well.

Loving wife partners.gif and mama to my sweet little son coolshine.gif (Fall 2008) and a beautiful baby girl babyf.gif(Fall 2010)

 

When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty. --George Bernard Shaw

peainthepod is offline  
#15 of 28 Old 10-15-2008, 04:33 PM
 
Katielady's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Living in a van down by the river
Posts: 2,016
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by selena_ski View Post

but then my SIL asks if i am dialted or what not. NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!! yet another reason not to get checked.
Good grief! You should ask her how her colon health is. You know, since we're discussing each other's internal organs and stuff.

I was lucky the first time around, no one bugged me too much- but then I went five days early, maybe if I'd stayed pregnant longer the phonecalls would have started.

I tell people a specific due date because I know that's what they want, and I don't feel like having a verbal swordfight every time. But it does irritate me, especially when they phrase it as, "When is your baby coming?" as though the due date is the same thing as a shipping date for a package. I always say, "The due date is Nov 25, so she could come any time around then."

SAHM to 6.5yo DS and 4yo DD. PCOS with two early m/cs. Married 8 yrs. Certified birth doula, writer, editor.

Some stuff I like: hbac.gifteapot2.GIFeat.gifnocirc.gifbftoddler.giffemalesling.GIFcrochetsmilie.gif read.gifcat.gif

Katielady is offline  
#16 of 28 Old 10-15-2008, 04:40 PM
 
Sativarain1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 1,865
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I always wonder why people ask this too, complete strangers pressuring me to know the date. When I say oooh about 3 weeks or early next month. They always continue with more questions. I wish people would just leave me be.

"If you truly love nature, you will find beauty everywhere." -Vincent Van Gogh
Sativarain1 is offline  
#17 of 28 Old 10-15-2008, 04:54 PM
 
Bella Catalina's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: L.A.
Posts: 1,614
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
People make me mad. I know they're all excited, but most of them have BTDT and know exactly how it feels to be watched and waited on.

Because I had Adrian at 36 weeks, everyone is watching me (must be as exciting as watching paint dry lol). Everyone is assuming I feel overdue (hello, I may have had DS at 36w but I am only 36w6d today). Including DH, who opened his big mouth at the mw appt yesterday and earned me a lecture I did not need and was not in an emotional state to deal with : Honey, being "ready" and feeling "overdue" are NOTHING alike. We had to be ready, just in case. But while I did sit and twiddle my thumbs on the weekend, I got over myself and I'm just going to ignore it all until something happens that I have to pay attention to.

I wish I'd never told anyone when I was due. Better yet, can I just pretend I'm not pregnant?? Think telling people I swallowed a whole watermelon would work??

write@home mama to big boy (04-06) and little boy (10-08)
and someone new in november stork-suprise.gif

Bella Catalina is offline  
#18 of 28 Old 10-15-2008, 06:40 PM
 
titania8's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: flint, mi
Posts: 1,332
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs-Mama View Post
Kinda the same thing with me, except it's "have you scheduled your c/s yet?". I have, in fact, scheduled my c/s but haven't told anyone yet. I just don't want to be bothered by people asking me about it all the time. I kinda wouldn't mind my IL's knowing since they'll be watching DS and I don't think they would make a big deal of it. I really don't want to tell my parents, though, because they will tell EVERYONE and I will not get a moment of peace between now and then. I kinda want to pretend that I'm not having a c/s until it actually happens (if that makes any sense). Also, my side of the family has a habit of inviting themselves to the hospital. My parents were there before we were when I went into labor (pre-term) with DS. Then, aunts, grandparents, etc started showing up. They all got to see DS through the nursery window before I got a good look at him (they next day . I don't want anyone at the hospital this time. I want to have my sweet baby girl with me, having nursed her the first time, and be out of recovery so that people see her with me for the first time. Is it so bad that I want to be able to see my baby first?

im sorry you didn't get those first moments with your baby. it must be really hard. i know it is for me, i have pretty much no memory of my boys' first day or 2. i do hope you are able to spend some time with your dd before the onslaught begins.

~helen~ mama to 5 yo twins jonas and micah and my 2 yo baby boy eli
titania8 is offline  
#19 of 28 Old 10-15-2008, 09:10 PM
 
OkiMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 5,391
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
You all of kind of making me glad I live in a different country. People are less likely to make annoying phone calls when they have to wake up at 1am to do it. As for people at church, Im starting to aviod the people who are too nosey or annoying. Either that or I make my husband deal with it or the lady whos acting as my doula. Both have some really funny responses to people when they ask rude questions

~Heather~ Mama to Miss E (1/07), Miss A (11/08), Mr.T (2/11) and Miss A (10/12) Expecting our newest blessing sometime late Sept/early Oct.. Wife to my Marine since 11/2005
OkiMom is offline  
#20 of 28 Old 10-15-2008, 10:25 PM
 
TefferTWH's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,560
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Since I look like I'm about to pop, I have noticed that people who ask when I'm due are asking because they know someone whose birthday is close by. Like "Oh, my daighter was born on Nov. X and she's a great kid" A guy asked while I was pausing for baby sister to get off my bladder in Target, and I think he was just thinking I was about to gush on the floor or something!
TefferTWH is offline  
#21 of 28 Old 10-16-2008, 12:12 AM
 
jenniferadurham's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 3,052
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Crashing from Dec...

I have had people ask me this as well. I asked someone why and they said bc they wanted to know if my baby would have their child's b-day. They thought it would be neat to share that day...even though I don't know them lol. So maybe thats why people ask. I do agree with you though...it's annoying.
jenniferadurham is offline  
#22 of 28 Old 10-17-2008, 02:34 AM - Thread Starter
 
Kleine Hexe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Posts: 6,783
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by OkiMom View Post
It really is.. Im glad its not just me.. That and when people seem to think you HAVE to want to have the baby, that no one could want to go to close to their due date. If I have one more person say "I bet your ready for that one to come out" I might lose whats left of my sanity.
Ditto to that. I'm so sick of that comment. I'd rather not have a baby before I'm full term thank-you-very-much.

I think I'm going to wear a sign that says, "No questions or comments about my pg. Thank you."
Kleine Hexe is offline  
#23 of 28 Old 10-17-2008, 05:38 PM
 
titania8's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: flint, mi
Posts: 1,332
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kleine Hexe View Post
Ditto to that. I'm so sick of that comment. I'd rather not have a baby before I'm full term thank-you-very-much.

I think I'm going to wear a sign that says, "No questions or comments about my pg. Thank you."
awesome!

~helen~ mama to 5 yo twins jonas and micah and my 2 yo baby boy eli
titania8 is offline  
#24 of 28 Old 10-17-2008, 07:51 PM
 
OkiMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 5,391
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Can I get one of those signs??
Or one that says "Im pregnant, not public property".. Next person to try to touch my stomach is getting their hand slapped

~Heather~ Mama to Miss E (1/07), Miss A (11/08), Mr.T (2/11) and Miss A (10/12) Expecting our newest blessing sometime late Sept/early Oct.. Wife to my Marine since 11/2005
OkiMom is offline  
#25 of 28 Old 10-17-2008, 08:03 PM
 
Sioko's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Missouri
Posts: 557
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I just say, "Anytime after Halloween." Then people just seem to assume my due date is halloween, and then technically it opens up all of November for baby to come. Mine is Nov15 btw
Sioko is offline  
#26 of 28 Old 10-17-2008, 09:51 PM
 
two bricks shy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Austin, Tx
Posts: 330
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sioko View Post
I just say, "Anytime after Halloween." Then people just seem to assume my due date is halloween, and then technically it opens up all of November for baby to come. Mine is Nov15 btw
I told people Thanksgiving to keep them off my back...it's the 9th by LMP and 12th by Ovulation. Then someone decided that my EDD is November 1 and now they are harassing me. Totally backfired.

This baby is not allowed to come out until my birth pool gets here
two bricks shy is offline  
#27 of 28 Old 10-18-2008, 04:02 AM - Thread Starter
 
Kleine Hexe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Posts: 6,783
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
When I say the baby is due Nov..I mean just that. Official EDD is the 17th so literally this baby can come at any time during Nov. Why don't people get that?

One woman asked me if my older boys are excited. I said yes and that they ask me all the time when the baby will be here. She suggested that I mark off the days on a calender to my due date so the boys can know when the baby will arrive. Um, I'm not having a scheduled birth. How would this help a 4 and 7 yr old when we literally *don't* know when the baby is arriving?

I mentioned this to her and she said, "Oh, no. To me the due date is the last day baby has to decide to come out. I always had my induction scheduled on my due date in case baby hadn't been born yet.

Um, ok. Not for me.
Kleine Hexe is offline  
#28 of 28 Old 10-18-2008, 09:56 PM
 
nznavo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 283
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Ha, neat.

I'm 'due' on 5th, so I've been telling people 'probably sometime before 19th'. I live in a different country from all our family and I feel like people are worried we won't tell them when it happens or something. They do have call to be worried because we waited before calling anyone last time (exhausted, overwhlemed, didn't pick a name yet, babymooning etc).
nznavo is offline  
Reply

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off