i just wanted to tell all of you thank you so much...from your kind and gentle words of advice and wisdom, to the ones sharing thier panicky moments so i know i'm not alone. it is odd to me...with my other 3 i couldn't wait for the end and i could never understand how anyone felt the entire pregnancy just "snuck up" on them...nothing like being humbled lol. i SO understand now.
Mochimom, Okimom, and Tiree, big (((hugs))) going out to you guys as well. each of us have trying situations going on and i want you to know i support each of you as much as you have stepped in to support me.
to the wise women who shared kind words and advice, thank you! i have chatted with my babe (cried actually) and felt refreshed afterwards, chatted with my dh and our midwife as well....each of them were supportive and comforting. Today was a great day as finally we were able to go shop for the last of our birth supplies. (with the exception of the water hose and hose attachment i need for the birthpool and which i will have to go to an english store instead of onbase to find) we are ready....and now I am feeling settled a bit more.
Maybe it was a strange sense of "nesting" that was making me feel out of control? i have just had this Internal URGENCY
to get things done, ordered, put away, washed, and bought....not in a "oh right, i still have to do that to" but more of, "i MUST do this NOW or everything is going up in SMOKE!" now that most of it is done, i don't feel like i am drowning so much.
anyway, just wanted to say thank you for being so supportive.
p.s. okimom- i understand. i felt the exact same way, same fears, same guilt when my second dd was coming. we conceived her just 4 mons after the birth of my first. i so worried how i had "shortchanged" her older sister by bringing on another baby so soon. once she arrived though, all those worries and fears never held true. i was able to cope with 2 under 2, hard some days, but survived and even enjoyed it! and now, at 5 and 6 years old, they are the best of friends. i wouldn't change it for anything now that i know what i do. having my second dd was the best gift my older dd could have received. you'll be fine, i promise. and btw, this baby doesn't have a name yet either, for either gender! (we're in trouble lol)...you're not alone there either! (((hugs)))...i edited to add this link to a blog i wrote last year when joey was still a baby...it talks specifically about my girls being so close together. has pictures of them too. i hope it encourages you... you have a beautiful journey ahead. *smiles* http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/tinytoes/310779/