does anyone else suddenly feel like a recluse and hate everyone? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 29 Old 10-28-2008, 11:14 AM - Thread Starter
 
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i'm only half-joking mamas. life on the outside of my house just feels like too much. every time i talk with my mom she says something that i percieve as judgemental or rude and i hang up on her (i know that's immature but my fuses seem to be short). or i'll be driving and someone will honk at me because i am feeling foggy and not speeding the second the light changes and trying to drive safetly and then i just feel like screaming and crying and getting out of the car and yelling at everyone within earshot "i am pregnant and could you all just chill the bleep out!!!". i only like my immediate family, and i only like my house and i am so glad i am having a homebirth because i hate the world.

is this just normal last minuteish crabbyness and oversensitivity? i am 36 weeks and just cannot wait to see my baby.

feel free to join me in my pity party.
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#2 of 29 Old 10-28-2008, 11:21 AM
 
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Yes Yes Yes!
I mostly just want to be alone and cry though. But people are starting to bug me, like my boss for instance. I'm tired of him giving me only negative criticism. Can't he say anything positive? Like "I really appreciate you flying to another state to attend a meeting at 35 weeks pregnant. You did a great job and everybody loved you. How are you hanging in there?" Instead I get "Don't you think you should (fill in the blank) instead of (what I'm currently doing)?"
My sister is coming to visit this week supposedly to help with babysitting dd as I rest and continue my work obligations and when I asked her if she could sit with dd while dh and I do a 3 hour birthing class she says "I don't know if I'm going to be able to handle her by myself for 3 hours--what with all the tantrums and everything." And dh is hooking up the damned tv for her because she can't live without it. What was I thinking allowing visitors?
So, yes, I'm annoyed--people just leave me the heck alone
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#3 of 29 Old 10-28-2008, 11:48 AM
 
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It seems that everything that anyone says sets me off right off, even benign comments. I also feel like recluse. I'm a home all day (first baby) alone, and don't have the energy to go into town most days, as I don't have a car and need to walk. Up until two weeks ago, I was still walking about three miles a day. So, unless we have evening plans, I only see Dh right now. When he has plans in the evening for just him I am incredibly lonely. I realize that the time he gets to spend with his friends will be limited after the baby is born. But, what about me??? (I wish there was a whiney emoticon.)
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#4 of 29 Old 10-28-2008, 12:07 PM
 
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I skipped church on Sunday because the idea of dealing with people alone (DH had to work) was just too much for me. We have a halloween party to go to tomorrow and I already told him one remark about me still being pregnant and Im going to lose it. I don't even want to go to my prenatal appointment because I get tired of people staring at my belly (its a clinic that serves active duty Marines too so a pregnant woman is a little bit of the odd person out).
I went to pick up some food the other day and this Marine stared at me from the minute I walked into the place to the minute I left. She never took her eyes off of me. I wanted to go and ask her for admission since I seemed to be so interesting.

~Heather~ Mama to Miss E (1/07), Miss A (11/08), Mr.T (2/11) and Miss A (10/12) Expecting our newest blessing sometime late Sept/early Oct.. Wife to my Marine since 11/2005
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#5 of 29 Old 10-28-2008, 12:13 PM
 
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My sister's DH filed for divorce yesterday so there is a bunch of family drama and while I'm OK discussing it with my sister I can't handle discussing it with my Mom right now. I feel like my sis has a reason to need to talk to me and lean on me, but my Mom should give me a break since I'm about to have a baby, you know? I just don't care about other people's drama right now and don't have the energy for it.

SAHM to DS (11/08) and EDD 3/8/11!
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#6 of 29 Old 10-28-2008, 01:37 PM
 
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Yeah, I'm here too. : I'm still working, and get to hear all sorts of wonderful commentary throughout the day, such as "You haven't had that baby yet?!" "You're still here?!" "I bet you can't wait to have that baby!"
Yesterday I went grocery shopping to start feeding my freezer, and literally every aisle I went down I would get stopped by a random stranger and asked about my baby. "What are you having?" "When are you due?" "I bet you can't wait to have that baby!"
I know people mean well, but it's driving me absolutely crazy!! The only people I can stand to be around right now are my other pregnant friends, because they can at least relate, and they don't ask stupid questions. I wish I had everything ready so I didn't have to keep going shopping - I can't wait until I can just hide in my house and make baby clothes :

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#7 of 29 Old 10-28-2008, 03:26 PM
 
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I'm just overly emotional right now. After dropping DD off at her once-weekly daycare (which started two hours later today), I called DH to meet up for lunch b/c I needed to be with someone. While waiting for him to show up, I checked my email and saw my parents have bought their tickets to come out for Thanksgiving...they'll be here from the 26th-29th. And their tickets were $1200. So, I was crying in my car b/c my mom will only be here for four days, and I was crying because they had to spend so much money just to be here for four days.

I really want my mom, but she's never been around when I want her most.
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#8 of 29 Old 10-28-2008, 03:36 PM
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wow! just the way you describe it... it sounds really primal. You know, how animals when they are ready to birth they go and hide and do their thing.
hmmm... you may be seeing that baby beore 4 weeks time...
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#9 of 29 Old 10-28-2008, 04:32 PM
 
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yeah,see my vent at the Kitchen Table thread...I need a doula NOW.Fix meals, tell dh to vacuum,bathe and dress kids,bring me a clean glass of water,and just ask how I am, not anything specific,just "How are you?"Then care to hear if I say anything.And if SOMEONE of the 5 other grown people in scouts, including Dh could please make a decision and follow it through,in the next 24 hours,THAT would be great.

:::
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#10 of 29 Old 10-28-2008, 04:41 PM
 
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.....

:::
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#11 of 29 Old 10-28-2008, 05:01 PM
 
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Yep, I am annoyed by the whole world as well. All I want to do is buy diapers on line...all day long.
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#12 of 29 Old 10-28-2008, 05:33 PM
 
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I've thrown up six times today. So yeah, I just want to hide inside and whine and moan. I have no intention to get out of my pajamas. It's beautiful outside today and will be rainy for the rest of the week. Still doesn't motivate me!
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#13 of 29 Old 10-28-2008, 06:16 PM
 
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i haven't left my house in 2 days, and you know what? i might not leave again today!
i am just over it, and i get really crampy every time i start walking anywhere and i am so not having this baby on the sidewalk!
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#14 of 29 Old 10-28-2008, 06:52 PM
 
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I'm emotionally done at work. But we need the money, and they haven't found my replacement yet. Who would think that 4 hours a day would be such toture. There are a lot of people who I enjoy at work, but well, it's hard to get moving every day. I just want my husband and kids snuggled around, and everyone else can go away.

"Listen, are you breathing just a little and calling it a life?"~Mary Oliver

RT knitting mama  to 3 (& 8 who didn't make it) wife working on 13 years to a silly man who drives me crazy.
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#15 of 29 Old 10-28-2008, 07:04 PM
 
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Yeah, I'm pissy as hell, and feeling like I want to cloister myself. It's all part of the nesting instinct I think- you don't want any strangers around when you're close to birthing.

SAHM to 6.5yo DS and 4yo DD. PCOS with two early m/cs. Married 8 yrs. Certified birth doula, writer, editor.

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#16 of 29 Old 10-28-2008, 07:09 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by p.s View Post
wow! just the way you describe it... it sounds really primal. You know, how animals when they are ready to birth they go and hide and do their thing.
hmmm... you may be seeing that baby beore 4 weeks time...
This was my thought exactly. I had a really b*tchy day yesterday, glowering about some family issues, and hubby was jumpy that I'd go into labor any time. I get that way before I birth though. I think that side is tougher and more capable. Of course, it scares hubby .....
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#17 of 29 Old 10-28-2008, 07:20 PM
 
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I picked a fight (via email) with someone in my kid's playgroup about the timing of starting solids. :

I have gotten to the point where I tend to just let things like that go, but I couldn't help myself. Someone asked about timing for the second baby; I responded with all kinds of info and links about the value of waiting til at least 6 months. So this other mom was saying that it's good to start at 4 months because they have to learn how to swallow properly- "it's a learned behavior," she said. Um no. I should have dropped it in the interest of peacekeeping but I was in this no BS kind of mode....I hate it when people make statements as though they're fact, when in fact it's just something they heard and they have *nothing* to back it up. So I went on and on about the tongue thrust reflex and how it goes away *on its own* sometime between 4 and 6 months...she said she'd never seen a baby who didn't spit out its food at the first feedings...and I was like, "My son never spat out his food." That's when people started emailing me privately to be like, "Um, what is going on with you two?" OMG. It was a total flame war, but with people I know and care about IRL so it's even worse!

SAHM to 6.5yo DS and 4yo DD. PCOS with two early m/cs. Married 8 yrs. Certified birth doula, writer, editor.

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#18 of 29 Old 10-28-2008, 07:54 PM
 
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Totally here.

My biggest "goals" in life right now are sleeping, eating, and knitting..oh and playing on the Wii. I don't want to see my friends, go shopping (unless it is for baby stuff and preferably online), or really deal with anyone or anything. If I could have healthy food delivered for an affordable price, I'd be all over it.

Mom decided to come up tomorrow. There is a part of me that is wishing she wouldn't but she's going to go do something with DD. It's great because...well frankly I need the break and Mom is going to help care for DD during/right after we have the baby. It helps DD be more used to the idea that she can go with Grandma and be ok.
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#19 of 29 Old 10-28-2008, 08:02 PM
 
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I'm annoyed because my midwife doesn't do house visits; I have to schlep to her office which means walking and riding the subway and since none of my cold weather clothes fit me and I'm even too fat for my maternity clothes, leaving the house sucks in general and why can't she just come here? : (I love my MW and knew this would be the deal when I hired her, but right now it sucks!)

I don't want to go anywhere or do anything or see or talk to anyone about anything. Why can't the world just leave me alone? And why won't this baby be born already? I know I'm still a week away from my due date and could even go two weeks beyond then (oh please, God, nooooooo) but I've been ready to have my body back for weeks now. I hate this. Are we allowed to hate being pregnant? I think I hate it. The thought "I am NEVER doing this again..." keeps popping into my mind.

Trying to stay positive but it isn't working very well. Pregnancy has been such a lonely thing for me.

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When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty. --George Bernard Shaw

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#20 of 29 Old 10-28-2008, 09:55 PM
 
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My best days lately are ones where I don't have to set one toenail outside of the house! I don't feel irritable, just like I want to be home. Unfortunately I'm still working full time so those days are few and far between. I just have to keep telling myself only 1.5 more weeks of work though.... unless the little one comes sooner!
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#21 of 29 Old 10-28-2008, 11:57 PM
 
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i've started actively rubbing my belly and asking the baby to come out while talking to my boss when i get aggravated. i'm still working full time, which is a good thing b/c we need $ and nobody has been hired to cover my maternity leave. but hey, i have two weeks before i'm due, so that's plenty of time to find someone, get them hired and in and trained. right.
my coworkers have offered to set up a nursery in the area beside me if i'll come back sooner than 3 months. it's really only fair as i've taken to calling them over to b**chy-proof my e-mails before i click send.
i just want the baby in my arms and to hide from the world for a while.

Liz, wife to John, mom to Dylan and my giant slug zocha :
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#22 of 29 Old 10-29-2008, 02:56 AM
 
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Um, yes, this is me! I pretty much don't want to be around anyone except for my kids and my DH and maybe my mom. I skipped two classes my kids had this week because I just didn't want to see anyone there! : And tomorrow I think I might not even take DS to preschool, just go to my mom's and kinda hide out.

Mama to 3 kids. We live in a yurt!
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#23 of 29 Old 10-29-2008, 04:27 AM
 
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We have a church halloween party tonight and I SOO don't want to go.. I love the people I go to church with, they are really great, but I don't want to deal with people. If it wasn't for the fact that I promised to bring cupcakes I probably wouldn't even go

~Heather~ Mama to Miss E (1/07), Miss A (11/08), Mr.T (2/11) and Miss A (10/12) Expecting our newest blessing sometime late Sept/early Oct.. Wife to my Marine since 11/2005
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#24 of 29 Old 10-29-2008, 10:13 AM
 
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aaa, YUP! Im there. Totally miserable and snippy. THANK GOODNESS my doc pulled me out of work, or my coworkers would be BEGGING me to leave anyway. I feel bad for my DS#1 though. He ends up watching alot of baby TV. But its only been the past week and a half, so its not like hes alreayd becoming a complete vegetable. But I am 90%, 1 cm, -1, and DH and I DTD this morning to try to get things rolling. Cuz I am one miserable BIOTCH!!!
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#25 of 29 Old 10-29-2008, 06:37 PM
 
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I have had my baby and I am still pretty much in this mode. I am doing my best to avoid everybody. I keep having to leave the house, to take kids to the doctor, or drop a kid or two off at class, or run an errand for my husband like depositing his pay check. I just want to sleep and take care of the baby. I know I am cranky and I have tried really hard not to take it out on DH and the other kids, but for me it seems that they seem to think that since I have had the baby everything should be back to normal and mom should be doing all the stuff around the house, and the cooking and such. It hasn't even been two weeks yet, and I am still healing from the tubal, and I really wish someone would just understand that I could use a little help. None of our friends have so much as offered to help watch the other kids, even for an hour, or do anything at all to help. I am actually feeling really hurt about that. anyway, glad I am not the only one feeling moody.
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#26 of 29 Old 10-29-2008, 08:22 PM
 
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Gypsy, if I lived closer I would offer to help for a bit.. I know how hard it can be when everyone expects things to be back to normal. When I had DD I came home from the hospital and DH asked me what was for dinner. He honestly thought that I was going to go clean up the kitchen and cook him dinner. I didn't even have any other children to worry about and I still had a hard time. Is there anyone you could ask for help? A friend or relative?

The party went ok last night but Im SOOOO tired of the "how much longer" "are you ready" comments. I honestly wanted to put a sign on me that said "if you want to ask me a question it better be about something other than my due date". I got soo irritated that I just started shooting people evil looks. Someone actually wanted to know if I was dialating or dropping, like that is any of their business. I didn't even know the person. Can I just lock myself in the house until the baby comes? That way I dont' have to deal with anyone

~Heather~ Mama to Miss E (1/07), Miss A (11/08), Mr.T (2/11) and Miss A (10/12) Expecting our newest blessing sometime late Sept/early Oct.. Wife to my Marine since 11/2005
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#27 of 29 Old 10-29-2008, 08:37 PM
 
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I am so DONE being pregnant...I don't want to go anywhere. I skipped my MW appointment this morning because I seriously thought labor might begin any minute. Nope.

And now I'm all paranoid because I had so much cervical pain this morning with no results and I worry that he hasn't been moving as much today and I won't see my MW until tomorrow. I'm being silly, right?

to you, gypsy and OkiMom! All new moms need rest and extra care, whether it's their first baby or their twenty-first. And yeah, if one more person asks me if I'm ready to have the baby yet, or jokes about how I must really LOVE being pregnant to have gone this long (not even 40 weeks!) I might just snap.

:

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When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty. --George Bernard Shaw

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#28 of 29 Old 10-30-2008, 12:21 PM
 
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Yeah, I woke up a raving grouch for no reason. I want to yell at DH and DD and lock myself in a cold, dark bedroom and just lay in bed and read and not talk to anyone and not have to do anything or bend over or worry about dishes or trash or what anybody else needs or wants. I don't want to talk to acquaintances or field any of the ridiculous questions/comments about late pregnancy.

I have to say... I think a 2 year old and a pregnant person are possibly the least compatible people EVAR. She is driving me up the wall, and she's not even doing anything bad or unusual! But what I need least now is being bothered, unhelpfully helped, called, asked the same question 5 times, fought, wrestled, playfully run from, questioned, or being told "no", and these behaviors are the basis for 2-year-old learning and exploration.

It's days like this I miss tribes and villages, when some kindly aunt or grandmother would immediately understand and step in. But, no, my mom's at work and my husband is either at work or cracked out on Fallout 3, and I don't get to lay down or sleep again for 10 hours.

NOT FAIR. SO DONE WITH PREGNANCY. And I supposedly have 5 weeks left.
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#29 of 29 Old 10-30-2008, 02:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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i started this thread just hating the outside world but now the inside world is included too. had a huge argument with DH this am because he said the oatmeal i made tasted "pasty" and he could understand why DSS age 6 was crying that he had to eat it. i mean come on, crying over food??? why in my day...

i am so over having to parent patiently and calmly when my kids are neither patient nor calm ever, why must i be? and why must i even make breakfast, or lunch, or dinner or do anything for that matter? its as if until the baby is crowning i am expected to just go on, life as usual and do my share when even breathing seems difficult.:
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