Baby Blues and Anxiety!! HELP! - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 10 Old 10-30-2008, 03:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am totally mourning the end of the "Bella and Mommy" era! I feel so so sad that now she has to share with a new baby that she didn't ask for. I swear she grew ten inches overnight as well as increased her IQ by50 points! AND HER HAIR GREW overnight too!! She seems like such a big girl now, and my heart just aches for my baby girl to be back. Will I ever get over this??? Any suggestions to make it easier? I feel so so so sad

Also, I have unexplained anxiety too I am just anxious for no reason out of the blue for a few hours off and on everyday. I kinda feel like escaping and sometimes I feel so trapped.

Also, I planned and prepped and thought about this birth and baby for the past nine months, and I am a little heartbroken that its all over. I actually started sobbing when I saw the bin of birth supplies out and there was nearly nothing left in the box. Everything happened so quickly....I was just not as mentally prepared for the huge shift as I thought i was. But really how could i?

I'm sure all of the above has A LOT to do with the baby blues, which should go away by 2wks right? I had my placenta encapsulated and should be getting those today, I'm hoping and praying that they truly are as helpful as everyone claims!!

PLUS! I now have BOOB-PITS! No more armpits, because my boobs are so engorged they have now taken over my armpits! YIKES!! Off to get more cabbage

Thanks for listening mamas!

~Natalie~
LLL Leader, IBCLC, marathoner, mom of 2 (maybe 3 one day!)

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#2 of 10 Old 10-30-2008, 03:53 PM
 
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I'll write more later.

But here are some organizations that might provide some help.

http://www.babybluesconnection.org/r...anizations.htm


"Listen, are you breathing just a little and calling it a life?"~Mary Oliver

RT knitting mama  to 3 (& 8 who didn't make it) wife working on 13 years to a silly man who drives me crazy.
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#3 of 10 Old 10-30-2008, 04:12 PM
 
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Oh man, it's so hard those first weeks shifting into a new family! I clearly remember that. It's totally normal to have the feelings you're feeling. Let yourself cry about it, let yourself feel all those feelings and talk to people about it. If you can, it helps to have someone hold the baby for a while while you spend some time with DD. Or it helps to have other people come and take your older one for some special time alone. Just know it's most likely way worse for you than it is for her. Your emotions should level out after a month or so. If they don't, you should talk to a mw/doula/professional about it. Huge hugs.

Mama to 3 kids. We live in a yurt!
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#4 of 10 Old 10-30-2008, 06:31 PM
 
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I felt the same way about ds1 when I came home from the hospital with ds2. I cried and cried. Its true, you feel like they have grown up over night. It does get alot better after a couple of weeks.... Just wanted to let you know you are not alone!

Tara--mama to Riley (9/01) Nolan (4/04) and Finnegan (11/08). Unschooling Rocks!!!
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#5 of 10 Old 10-30-2008, 07:04 PM
 
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give yourself time, and your lil one lots of hugs, I know I worry about the effect on my nearly three year old, as I did on the others with each birth, but the emotional roller-coster does slow down, and you feel on a more even keel in a few weeks. Sleep and a shower does wonders for me, as does a sunny day.



many hugs to you
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#6 of 10 Old 10-30-2008, 07:10 PM
 
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I am feeling the exact same way. So so so sad that it's not just me and DS1 anymore. I cry every morning when DH has to get up with him because I'm nursing DS2. I cry when DS1 wants daddy instead of me and when I realize I haven't picked him up until 3pm No advice, just

I'm sad the pregnancy/birth is all over, too... I don't want to delete the labour pictures off of my camera even though it's sooo full, because that means it's REALLY over (does that make sense?!).

I hope the placenta pills help you. Ever since I've started taking mine, I feel a bit more sane.

Mama to DS R (June/06), DD K (September/07), DS M (October/08), DD R (June/09)... waiting for #5 in late 2013!!

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#7 of 10 Old 10-30-2008, 07:21 PM
 
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Everyone else has said such true words. I don't think I could say anything better. With my daughter I had it very very bad. With my son, not so bad, and it went away quickly.

Your boobs will deflate some as the engorgement goes down. You'll find a way, as nursing gets easier, to have them both close. And they will love each other so much as they get bigger!

you CAN do this and you are already doing a wonderful job!

"Listen, are you breathing just a little and calling it a life?"~Mary Oliver

RT knitting mama  to 3 (& 8 who didn't make it) wife working on 13 years to a silly man who drives me crazy.
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#8 of 10 Old 10-31-2008, 12:34 AM
 
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You're doing a wonderful job, mama, and though I am sorry to hear that you're going through this, too, but it's reassuring to know it happens to most of us.

I so know how you feel and I am feeling so guilty because I am nursing Jasper every 1.5-2 hours and trying to get everything else done in between, and DH is doing just about everything for Adrian--feeding him, brushing his teeth, getting up with him, putting him to bed, taking him outside.... Tonight I was able to spend some alone time with him and read him a couple of books, and it's made a world of difference to him, even though it feels like such a pathetic gesture on my part.

On Sunday night, the midwives were tucking me into bed after the birth and Adrian woke up, and I started to cry because I didn't want him to meet his new brother that way, with two midwives in the bedroom, and Adrian startled and unsure about what was going on. He was fine after a few minutes, but it still makes me upset.

I am also sad the birth is over. I feel ridiculous complaining about that because I had such a fast labor, but with a labor like that, there was no time to process what was happening and there was no time to enjoy it, either. The birth pool is sitting deflated on the floor, waiting for DH to put it away tonight... I'm glad it's normal to mourn it having happened already.

write@home mama to big boy (04-06) and little boy (10-08)
and someone new in november stork-suprise.gif

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#9 of 10 Old 10-31-2008, 06:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quick UPdate!!


Got the placenta encapsulated, and just got the pills yesterday. Took them all day and today, and feel like a new woman!

Thank you ladies for sharing your thoughts and own experiences, they mean so much to me, and its so calming to know that I'm not alone with these feelings

~Natalie~
LLL Leader, IBCLC, marathoner, mom of 2 (maybe 3 one day!)

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#10 of 10 Old 11-01-2008, 11:07 AM
 
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No one prepared me for DD1 suddenly looking like a big girl and not my baby when she walked in my hospital room after DD2 was born. I was sooooo upset. It is such a huge difference, but you do get used to it in no time. I am glad the pills are working for you. Hang in there.

Mama to Ava (12/03) , Leila (4/06) , Violet (11/08) , and bonus mama to Madison (7/98)
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