Anyone else feel like a watched pot? - Mothering Forums

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Old 11-07-2008, 04:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm 40+4 and getting hammered with curious phone calls and emails from concerned friends and family. All this attention is very sweet and kind, but it's making me scared to answer the phone.

I know they mean well but aaaaaaaa NO I haven't had the baby yet and YES I'm still pregnant and YES I promise we will call when he's born. Please stop making me feel defective and late and like there's something wrong with my body for not having gone into labor by now!

Okay, I feel better now. Thanks for letting me vent.

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When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty. --George Bernard Shaw

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Old 11-07-2008, 04:45 PM
 
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The only one watching right now is DH. Because we've had a start-stop labor roller-coaster ride so far, he asks me every four hours or so if I've had any contrax. Grr. He's trying to be helpful and "involved," but it only reminds me of what's NOT happening.

I'm only 38 weeks, too, so it's not like I'm "late" or anything.
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Old 11-07-2008, 04:45 PM
 
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Look at the bright side and take advantage! Yesterday I was offered to line jump in the stores just by looking like I'm ready to pop! I don't mind that kind of attention how often is that going to happen??
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Old 11-07-2008, 07:31 PM
 
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I'm 39 weeks tomorrow, and already the calls are starting. Grrr.

The worst though, is one of my friends. I am having contractions every time I move around or shift positions, and some of them hurt. I can see her wanting to ask if I am in labor every time she sees me make a face!!!

belly.gifLesli: Wife to Jon, Mommy to my treasures, Kyla(Feb 06), Erin (Nov 08), and "Beanie" due 01/12! We're a home centered family! Homebirth, homecooking, homemade homegrown, and homeschooling!!

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Old 11-07-2008, 08:07 PM
 
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Yes! I'm getting calls, text messages, e-mails, the whole works. My family isn't that bad about it but I hate getting pestered by people I barely know. I've gotten e-mails from aquaintences asking if the baby has been born yet (every 2 days since 37 weeks) and then if I don't reply within three hours I start getting phone calls. Some of the people calling (I don't know how they got my number), I don't even know if I would recognize them on the street! I just hate the comments: "I can't believe you haven't had that baby yet! I'm so tired of waiting." Well, I'm not 40 weeks until tomorrow, and I'm sure that you are so tired of waiting. Ugh.
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Old 11-07-2008, 08:24 PM
 
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We've had a few... most people are just worried to death that we'll have the baby and not tell them. Even my in-laws have done this.

Of course, they aren't really sure what to make of us since we will not tell them the EDD. Some people take this to mean... the EDD was Nov 1 and others just figure we really do mean that it could be any time in November.
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Old 11-07-2008, 08:49 PM
 
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You mean the ILs who don't give a rat's patootie about me any other time calling DAILY "just to check in"? I'm fine with strngers, but it just irks me that I know they are just calling to see if there's a baby. The joke's on them though, because hubby has already agreed to not tell them anything until after the baby is born! Maybe I can even sneak home before they attack.
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Old 11-08-2008, 12:44 AM
 
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Oh oh oh, this is me too! I'm 40+4 also. I got so many calls on my due date. I ignored them all. I've recieved "casual" phone calls from ILs, aunts, uncles, grandparents, all asking if I've had the baby yet. To each I say the same thing: of course I haven't had the baby yet!! Don't worry, you'll be one of the first to know, because I have written out a phone tree of important people to call, and YOU are definitely on it. This worked wonders, in fact calls from family members pretty much stopped after I emailed said phone tree to everyone.

For casual friends and aquaintances, I simply don't answer my phone. So they call DH's phone instead. He's far more patient that I am.

My best friend stopped calling after I got a little snippy (for which I apologised), but she still txts me. Of course, she's due in 7 weeks, so *I* shall have my revenge on her soon enough. Mwwaaaahhh!

><> I'm a Christian, knitting, sewing, cooking SAHM to the fearless adventurer Jack born 11/08, and  a  USCG wife
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Old 11-08-2008, 02:56 AM
 
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Yeah, and prodromal start and stop false alarm fun makes it sooo much worse cause everyone tells everyone you're "so close" and every contrax session you have they say, "today's the day" and it just reminds you that for normal women it would be the day, but you're broken. I tell them, "Just cause I'm in labor doesn't mean I'm having a baby. I don't know where you get that idea." and of course I wake up the next day preggo and getting calls, "have you had her yet?" like I'm trying to hide things.

No, no baby, but thanks for adding to my torture....:
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Old 11-08-2008, 03:01 AM
 
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I made the mistake of parking my van in the garage yesterday cause I thought the weather looked bad and had 3 relatives call me in a panic demanding where I was and if I was okay. It cracked me up, really. I'm still working as a waitress and I think a lot of the regulars come in and eat on my shifts just to watch me waddle around to see if my water breaks or something. Seriously, it's funny.....but kind of creepy too.

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Old 11-08-2008, 10:52 AM
 
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you guys are seriously crackin' me up!

Nerdy- if they get bad again maybe you can email out and tell them for every phone call they make they will fall one more branch on the phone tree.

the funny thing here is SUDDENLY we have had more than a dozen people "offer" to come watch our kids during the birth lol. Like it was something we hadn't thought about until JUST now. (i'm due next week) I realize some really do just want to be helpful, but some of these people we've only really seen 3-4 times a year! it's like c'mon folks, really now? i know you want to be involved (i guess that's what it is?) but geez...we'll call when baby's here i promise. :

i usually don't tell people when i'm in labor. we wait until after the child has been born. when my first came, we made NO phone calls except to the grandparents until the DAY AFTER she came. no one even knew we were in the hospital. it was great. we had ALL the bonding and sleeping time we wanted and were completely ready for the bombardment of people the next day. we also unplugged the phone for the first week after birth, and warned people we wouldn't answer our door for visitors. i was recovering and we were settling in. the last thing i wanted was to entertain a bunch of people. everyone understood.

there are two people here besides our midwife who will be coming to this birth (one doing video and for labor support, the other for still photography shots) so of course everytime i call them for anything minor the first words out of my mouth HAVE to be "no, i'm not in labor.":

I've told my mom i will email her when we go into labor, but i am thinking about not doing that. I plan on unplugging the phone anyway, but why torture her during that time?
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Old 11-08-2008, 01:34 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sioko View Post
Yeah, and prodromal start and stop false alarm fun makes it sooo much worse cause everyone tells everyone you're "so close" and every contrax session you have they say, "today's the day" and it just reminds you that for normal women it would be the day, but you're broken. I tell them, "Just cause I'm in labor doesn't mean I'm having a baby. I don't know where you get that idea." and of course I wake up the next day preggo and getting calls, "have you had her yet?" like I'm trying to hide things.

No, no baby, but thanks for adding to my torture....:
Sioko you are NOT BROKEN! Your body is just gearing up for what it has to do. I am in the same position, it stinks but this is just the process our bodies need to go through. We are not malfunctioning, this is just our process!

Quote:
Originally Posted by hislittlelambs View Post
you guys are seriously crackin' me up!

Nerdy- if they get bad again maybe you can email out and tell them for every phone call they make they will fall one more branch on the phone tree.
: that's a good idea!! But they've stopped calling to ask about that. They call "just to chat". Because we chat all the time...riiiight. I am really good about lettign things go to voicemail, then never checking my voicemail. Maybe if I'm lucky the mailbox will get full.

><> I'm a Christian, knitting, sewing, cooking SAHM to the fearless adventurer Jack born 11/08, and  a  USCG wife
And we are joyfully awaiting a new addition in April 2011! <><
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Old 11-08-2008, 01:38 PM
 
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I even got a call from my MIL (whose number I don't even have programmed into my cell phone) yesterday. DH didn't answer his phone, while he was at work, so she assumed I must be in labor and called my phone . When I call any of my own family memebers they answer the phone asking if I'm in labor. Grrr.

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Old 11-08-2008, 02:06 PM
 
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DH had to call his mom for something unrelated the other night and she lamented to him that she would love to just "chat" with me more. Keep in mind dh & I have been married for over 9 years, and we have very little in common. She is fine with that except for when I'm very pregnant. This time she was upset that I "don't answer the phone" when she calls. I *hate* using the phone, everyone knows this about me, including her. Of course I don't answer it when I don't recognize the number.

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and Brigid Eleanor (11/20/08)
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Old 11-08-2008, 05:42 PM
 
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Originally Posted by nerdymom View Post
Sioko you are NOT BROKEN! Your body is just gearing up for what it has to do. I am in the same position, it stinks but this is just the process our bodies need to go through. We are not malfunctioning, this is just our process!
Thanks nerdy s
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Old 11-08-2008, 07:34 PM
 
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Originally Posted by PookieMom View Post
I made the mistake of parking my van in the garage yesterday cause I thought the weather looked bad and had 3 relatives call me in a panic demanding where I was and if I was okay. It cracked me up, really.
That exact thing happened to us except it was 2 neighbors since relatives aren't close.
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Old 11-08-2008, 08:47 PM
 
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DH's Sergeant keeps asking him if he should call home and make sure Im not in labor.. But to give the guy credit, he missed his kids birth because the doctors INSISTED he had enough time to go step out for a breather and come back in (his wife was induced and he was driving her batty). He was gone for less than 5 minutes.
I think my InLaws might have gotten the clue the other day when they called and I said next person to ask will be the last person to know. They have stopped the phone calls/e-mails. Well, other than his grandma but shes the last to know anyway.

~Heather~ Mama to Miss E (1/07), Miss A (11/08), Mr.T (2/11) and Miss A (10/12) Expecting our newest blessing sometime late Sept/early Oct.. Wife to my Marine since 11/2005
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Old 11-09-2008, 01:31 AM
 
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I'm feeling this mostly from myself If I could just stop overanalysing every sensation!!!!I need a way to shut my self up!
Everyone else is being very cool because 1-this is our 5th,and they know how we are.2-I haven't answered the phone all pregnancy anyway.3-I told everyone I couldn't trust that we are due mid-December.

:::
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Old 11-09-2008, 01:19 PM
 
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People are funny.

I'm just 39 weeks today, and for the last few days, I've been getting IMs, e-mails, and Twitter nudges almost constantly. Everyone seems to have figured out that I don't answer the phone anymore.

They are getting sneaky though- last night, my Grandmother called my cell phone from her cell, which NEVER happens. Since I assumed it was an emergency, I answered. She "just wanted to double check" that we hadn't repainted the baby's room and it's still green... Oh, and how are you feeling? Any contractions yet?

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