s/o what do your kids tell other people? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 12-08-2008, 01:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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A spin off of the other thread...

I have encountered a new uncomfortable place. When his friends or cousins bring up how they are going to get a flu shot, my ds loves to tell people he won't be getting a shot, never has had one.

Because I don't go around telling people about not vaxing (if they ask I tell the truth, just don't offer any info) I'm not sure if I should tell my ds to not offer as well. He is just happy to not be poked, he doesn't know about the reasons why he hasn't been vaxed.
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#2 of 5 Old 12-08-2008, 03:28 PM
 
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I am not vaxed. I am 55.

When I went to school, I had polio victims in my classroom and everyone lined up at the nurse's office for vaccinations.

I learned early in first grade to keep my big mouth shut.

Years later, I kept my mouth shut in science, history, and health classes when the benefits and miracle of vaccinations were discussed.

The people I told about my nonvax status remembered that for years to come. I was a pariah as far as they were concerned, even though I was healthy or healthier than they were.

But that was then. It may be different now. If others see how healthy your child is, maybe they will think twice or three times about getting that jab.

"The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie, deliberate, contrived and dishonest, but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic."
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#3 of 5 Old 12-08-2008, 04:32 PM
 
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My 11 dd told me this morning very proudly that she had told a group of kids from her (former) homeschool group that she had never had a shot and that they were all shocked -- "What! Not even as a baby?!"

It was also discussed in 8 yo ds's class at school, it turns out that out 12 children, two children have never had a single shot, him and another girl. I would guess that but most of the children are on selective/delayed schedule.

I don't think either of my kids are treated any differently because of their vax status. They are certainly not pariahs, thankfully.

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#4 of 5 Old 12-08-2008, 04:50 PM
 
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I don't think it's come up very often...really. I think once, with one of their friends at the age of six or seven, Emily and her friend were talking about medication in general. Something like, 'when you're sick, you have to take medicine', and Emily said "No you don't, we don't ever take medicine." Her friend just said 'Oh' and they kept playing. LOL It wasn't even vaxes, but their friends know that we don't take any kind of medication.

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#5 of 5 Old 12-08-2008, 05:09 PM
 
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Interesting. My babe is a long way from dealing with it, but it is definitely something to think about.

My bigger concern would be what other people tell my kid. There is a lot of "vaccines are like hugs" garbage out there. I recently took out a book from the library produced by the Canadian Pediatric Society that was supposed to be fair and balanced (errr.... not), and it was full of drawings by sixth graders that said things like "If you love me, you will give me my shots". Argh.

So I would start by making sure that your child understands that you did a lot of research and decided that the best way to keep him healthy is to not get any shots. Tell him you made that decision BECAUSE you love him.

I would talk about some of the potential reactions he might get from people if they know he hasn't been vaccinated, in an age appropriate, and not over the top way. Basically that people may not understand and could treat him differently because of it.

And then, I would leave it up to him as to what, or whether, he wants to tell people. Let him know that it is really nobody's business, and he is free to just not say anything. Or you could provide him with a couple of lines to use if he needs. For example, if there is a clinic at school or something, he could just say "My mom says I am only allowed to get shots if she is with me." Not a lie. Or if someone asks when he is getting a flu shot he could say "I don't know, I will have to ask my mom."

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