Husband threatening to vax - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
Old 12-16-2008, 02:22 AM - Thread Starter
 
hunnybumm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Goldsboro, NC
Posts: 3,387
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I haven't read or posted here in a very long time, but this issue came up and I didn't know where else to turn.

Long story short my husband and I are seperating, it's just a matter of time. He has chosen to try to upset me and hurt me in any way possible (without breaking the law). It has not been out of character for him to be mean to the children (ie not take them somewhere he said he would, not give them a hug, etc) to get back at me.

Today he tried to start an argument, and when he saw I was not getting upset he said he was going to take the kids in to be vaccinated.

I told him he was not, he said he would.

I am currently looking for a child custody lawyer which I had put on hold until after Christmas. But because of this statement I have decided to continue my hunt.

So my questions are, can I keep him from vaxing the kids? Does the doctor need my permission to vax them? If I call my doctor and tell them the situation and that my husband does not have my permission, can the doctors still vax? Should I lie to my doctors office and tell them that there are custody papers and that my husband does not have permission?

Since there are no custody papers I am afraid that my husband has just as much right to vax my children as I do not to.

I have a religious exemption on file at the peds office. Though they are not exactly happy about me not vaxing. I do not want to bank on the idea that because that flimsy piece of paper is in their records, they will be too afraid to vax without speaking to me first. It wouldn't surprise me if they jumped on the chance.

Any info would be much appreciated. Any past posts I would love to read as well. I just don't have the patients to search for it right now.

Lastly I don't know how serious he is about this, but I would hate to underestimate him and have my poor babies subjected to (I hate to think about the actual number) all their missed vaxes in one visit.
hunnybumm is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 12-16-2008, 02:29 AM
 
Marsupialmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: St. Louis MO
Posts: 9,039
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I would talk with the doctor and have him note your account.

Don't lie. Let him know your dh is divorcing you and is wanting to go against your religion in many ways. And you request the doctor to not vax without your permission. You would hate for him to end up stuck in the middle of a legal situation.
Marsupialmom is offline  
Old 12-16-2008, 02:44 AM
 
Arduinna's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 31,187
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
The thing is that if he really is going to do this, he doesn't need to take them to your Dr. He could take them to any Dr, or the health dept. I'd talk to an attorney about it. Not sure about your state but I've sadly heard of many cases where if it gets to court the judge sides with the pro vax parent. Unless you can have him declared unfit, or you get medical power of attorney ( I don't know the term used in divorce cases where one parent has final say in medical decisions).
Arduinna is offline  
Old 12-16-2008, 03:53 AM
 
Emmeline II's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 8,558
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
You need to keep a detailed log (online so it doesn't get lost and print it) of his behavior towards you and more importantly, the children. What he is doing to them is emotional abuse and could be used against him in a custody dispute.

As to vax...you're stuck. Even IF you had medical custody and your dh violated that to vax your children, it is unlikely that he would be sanctioned by the courts.

Also, you don't have to go to a ped; you could try a DO or other family Dr.

"It should be a rule in all prophylactic work that no harm should ever be unnecessarily inflicted on a healthy person (Sir Graham Wilson, The Hazards of Immunization, 1967)."
Emmeline II is offline  
Old 12-16-2008, 01:45 PM
 
Marnica's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,470
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
I'm sorry you have to deal with this. If your husband would actually put his own children in danger to get back at you than he is (I can't say it).

Request or hire an arbitrator to help negotiate with your husband. Also add a clause in your divorce agreement that is your child gets sick from the vaccine that the parent forcing the vaccines will be required to take financial responsibility for all future therapies needed for recovery.

If the people let government decide what foods they eat and what medicines they take, their bodies will soon be in as sorry a state as are the souls of those who live under tyranny." Thomas Jefferson.

Marnica is offline  
Old 12-16-2008, 06:42 PM
 
Emmeline II's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 8,558
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marnica View Post
Request or hire an arbitrator to help negotiate with your husband. Also add a clause in your divorce agreement that is your child gets sick from the vaccine that the parent forcing the vaccines will be required to take financial responsibility for all future therapies needed for recovery.
And to provide transportation so you would not lose income to take the child to those Dr's appointments and therapies.

"It should be a rule in all prophylactic work that no harm should ever be unnecessarily inflicted on a healthy person (Sir Graham Wilson, The Hazards of Immunization, 1967)."
Emmeline II is offline  
Old 12-16-2008, 10:21 PM
 
cjuniverse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: In a quiet place.
Posts: 1,907
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Oh no, mami. I'm so sorry.

I'd talk to him. Really talk to him. Get him to listen in whatever way you can, and make him understand that if he does this, the repercussions are for life. FOR LIFE. He can never take those vaccines or their effects back. By doing this he could kill, disable, and/or otherwise irreparably damage your children...and permanently cripple your family financially and emotionally in the process.

Ask him if his petty anger towards you right this second, which will dissipate in a few months time, is worth his children's health, well-being, even lives. If it is worth his moral conscience.

Only a truly cold-hearted ************ would hear that and not reconsider, and if he refuses, do whatever you have to do to protect your babies.
cjuniverse is offline  
Old 12-17-2008, 02:23 AM
Banned
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Ohio
Posts: 695
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm so sorry you are going through this :

How old are your children? I wonder if a judge would take into account his implicit agreement with your belief for x number of years. I would think that a judge would at least grant an injunction until a hearing could be held regarding medical custody. You definitely need good legal advice!

Do you think he is really pro-vax? or is the only reason to hurt you?
PaigeC is offline  
Old 12-17-2008, 02:52 AM
 
rmzbm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: NC
Posts: 15,098
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Emmeline II View Post
You need to keep a detailed log (online so it doesn't get lost and print it) of his behavior towards you and more importantly, the children. What he is doing to them is emotional abuse and could be used against him in a custody dispute.

As to vax...you're stuck. Even IF you had medical custody and your dh violated that to vax your children, it is unlikely that he would be sanctioned by the courts.

Also, you don't have to go to a ped; you could try a DO or other family Dr.
:

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
rmzbm is offline  
 
User Tag List

Thread Tools


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off