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#1 of 28 Old 01-23-2009, 05:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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So, now that dd has mumps, I am not sure if I should tell my friends or not. I have 3 friends with babies (they are all following Dr. Sears schedule). I don't know if telling them dd has mumps and is in a better mood now than she ever is would be good or bad. On one hand, it might show them that mumps aren't scary. On the other hand, it might send them running to get their kids vaxed. Of course, I won't bring dd around them until she is better (unless they would want me to, which they won't). I just didn't know if I would be doing the anti-vax "crusade" harm or good by letting them know. What do you think?
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#2 of 28 Old 01-23-2009, 05:25 PM
 
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I would not. When my son had measles, I did not tell anyone. He got healthy quickly enough. I was quietly happy that he had them.

Life goes on. JMHO.

"The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie, deliberate, contrived and dishonest, but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic."
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#3 of 28 Old 01-23-2009, 05:45 PM
 
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I wouldn't lie about it but I wouldn't volunteer the information either. If you believe that mumps is a mild, normal childhood illness (which I do), then there's no reason to make a big deal out of it. If it comes up, it might be a good opportunity to quell some fears and dispel some myths, but that's up to you.

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#4 of 28 Old 01-23-2009, 05:46 PM
 
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I would tell your friends that have small babies that are not old enough to get the MMR yet. It could show them that mumps is no big deal, and yet they couldn't run out and get the MMR if their babies are less than a year anyway. If they are older than 1 year and you think they would run out and get it than I would keep quiet, if only to protect their kids from the vax a little while longer (since it sounds like they will get iot eventually anyway)

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#5 of 28 Old 01-23-2009, 06:20 PM
 
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Well, if their babies are under 12mo they can't get the MMR .

"It should be a rule in all prophylactic work that no harm should ever be unnecessarily inflicted on a healthy person (Sir Graham Wilson, The Hazards of Immunization, 1967)."
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#6 of 28 Old 01-23-2009, 06:31 PM
 
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Well, if their babies are under 12mo they can't get the MMR .
BINGO! so they can only panic if you tell them anything about your child having a VPD.

"The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie, deliberate, contrived and dishonest, but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic."
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#7 of 28 Old 01-23-2009, 06:33 PM
 
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The problem is that I think I've read that babies under 1 (usually around 9 months) will be given the MMR in cases of a an outbreak--regardless of sense or efficacy. So, it's possibly that even a baby under 1 could be given the MMR.

Regardless, I think that if your kid was sick or contagious around these other kids, you might consider telling the parents. So they know what to expect. So that they don't unwittingly expose others. It might be the mildest illness ever, but in very rare cases it might not be mild. You shouldn't get blamed if their child gets ill, but consider that they might want to know/be prepared.

If your kid wasn't around them at all in the several days before getting sick, I wouldn't say anything.
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#8 of 28 Old 01-23-2009, 07:53 PM
 
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Originally Posted by ammiga View Post
So, now that dd has mumps, I am not sure if I should tell my friends or not. I have 3 friends with babies (they are all following Dr. Sears schedule). I don't know if telling them dd has mumps and is in a better mood now than she ever is would be good or bad. On one hand, it might show them that mumps aren't scary. On the other hand, it might send them running to get their kids vaxed. Of course, I won't bring dd around them until she is better (unless they would want me to, which they won't). I just didn't know if I would be doing the anti-vax "crusade" harm or good by letting them know. What do you think?
I'm just a tad curious what region of the county u live in? Mumps party anyone? Actually i've never really considered seeking out mumps- but i hear that for boys it's better to get it young than older cuz there's a greater chance of sterility in older males.
Anyways- just curious :-)
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#9 of 28 Old 01-23-2009, 08:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We're totally willing to share! But I think dd is only contagious for another day or two, based on when we noticed her starting to swell.
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#10 of 28 Old 01-23-2009, 08:52 PM
 
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If you have been around your friends lately and think they might be exposed, I would tell them, just so they can keep an eye out if their child starts to develop symptoms. I would be worried that it would affect the friendship if their child gets sick, and the parents find out that it was from your child but you didn't mention anything. Just try to be low key about the whole thing.

Otherwise I might just keep it to myself, depending on the friends involved. If I suspected that they would either a) freak out, or b) have a "see, I told you so!" attitude I really wouldn't bother.

But I would be willing to share the information later, after your child is well, if it comes up in conversation. "Mumps? No biggie. DD had them last year..."

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#11 of 28 Old 01-28-2009, 01:58 PM
 
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Originally Posted by peainthepod View Post
I wouldn't lie about it but I wouldn't volunteer the information either. If you believe that mumps is a mild, normal childhood illness (which I do), then there's no reason to make a big deal out of it. If it comes up, it might be a good opportunity to quell some fears and dispel some myths, but that's up to you.
Agreed! And if anyone wants to come over for a play date, etc., I'd just mention you babe is under the weather and get a raincheck.

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#12 of 28 Old 01-28-2009, 02:38 PM
 
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I agree with peainthepod and to-flu.
I wouldn't want too young infants around...
Though one question: I had mumps, so let's say when DS is 3 and have our second baby, Baby 2 will be protected through my breastmilk, right? Since I really had the mumps?
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#13 of 28 Old 01-28-2009, 03:52 PM
 
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I'd probably tell them - but that's just me. I really wouldn't care what they thought but I think they have the right to know especially if your child was infected while they were together.

I think it might show them that you are not afraid. I think alot of time people assume that if we don't vax that we have this attitude of "my child won't catch that stuff you are all vaxing for".

Of course, WE know this not to be true. I am not naive enough to think my kids will never contract a disease for which many vax. I just have faith in their body's innate wisdom and capability to fight the disease.

My kids got CP and I was quietly happy too. It was more of a nuisance than anything. They were barely even bothered by it.

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#14 of 28 Old 01-28-2009, 08:14 PM
 
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Since they are pro-vax (even if it is Dr. Sears' schedule) I would not tell.
I would tell all my non-vax friends.

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#15 of 28 Old 01-29-2009, 07:35 PM
 
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I would tell anyone that was going to be coming into contact with my child just as I would if we had planned on going somewhere and one of them came down with a cold or something - I feel it's only common courtesy. I dont tend to go round giving other people's kids our germs whether it's a VPD or not.
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#16 of 28 Old 01-29-2009, 07:38 PM
 
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There is no anti-vax crusade. This is a decision that each family has to make for themselves.

I would tell. For sure. No question.

ETA: Just for clarification of my stance on the issue, I'd like to point out that I have five completely non-vaccinated children, ranging in age from 2 years to 21 years.
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#17 of 28 Old 01-29-2009, 08:33 PM
 
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There is no anti-vax crusade. This is a decision that each family has to make for themselves.
I would tell. For sure. No question.
I have two kids neither of them have been given the MMR and neither of them will be getting the MMR. I agree that The Mumps is a really really mild childhood illness, and not a big deal. However, I am not about to let someone else decide if it's a big deal they give my kid formula when they are exclusively BF just because someone else doesn't think it's a big deal. I am not about to give my in-laws give my kids toy guns for gift just because their kids had them, and their kids are freaking amazing kind wonderful young adults (seriously we'd all be proud to have our children grow up to be such wonderful people) so the in-laws thing toy guns are no big deal. I am the mom and I get to make those choices. There is no way I would assume that my way of doing things is so superior that I get to make the choice about exposing another persons child to an illness without their knowledge, cause I think I know better. I'm shocked that there is even a question as to whether or not to tell. Shocked.
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#18 of 28 Old 01-29-2009, 09:31 PM
 
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If i found out that one of my friend's had a child with mumps or measles ot even a cold, a KEPT it from me, KNOWING i had a BABY...she would no longer be my friend. PERIOD.

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#19 of 28 Old 01-29-2009, 09:42 PM
 
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There's some kind of logical disconnect for me here. You're not wanting to tell your friends who have babies because they might run out an vax their babies? But aren't they planning to vaccinate anyway? It sort of seems like you think that just mentioning disease is going to change their minds as if they are really ignorant. That seems somewhat self-centred to me.

I would be furious if my friend didn't tell me her child had a potentially very harmful contagious disease. I think that you should respect your friend's choices as you expect them to respect yours. And be responsible.
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#20 of 28 Old 01-29-2009, 09:48 PM
 
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This thread has taken a turn. The OP isn't saying she would or wants to expose someone's children; she has already stated she is keeping her sick child home.

That this is even a question someone has to ask is a result of the ignorance of disease and hostility towards non-vaxers that is promoted by the mainstream.

"It should be a rule in all prophylactic work that no harm should ever be unnecessarily inflicted on a healthy person (Sir Graham Wilson, The Hazards of Immunization, 1967)."
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#21 of 28 Old 01-29-2009, 09:56 PM
 
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I would be furious if my friend didn't tell me her child had a potentially very harmful contagious disease. I think that you should respect your friend's choices as you expect them to respect yours. And be responsible.
Do you report your child's cold to your every acquaintance? The rhino virus could turn into pneumonia and kill. The mumps is typically a mild illness that is vaccinated against to prevent the rare complication (not unique to the mumps virus) of orchitis and sterility in males, not because a child is likely to die from it.


"It should be a rule in all prophylactic work that no harm should ever be unnecessarily inflicted on a healthy person (Sir Graham Wilson, The Hazards of Immunization, 1967)."
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#22 of 28 Old 01-29-2009, 09:58 PM
 
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This thread has taken a turn. The OP isn't saying she would or wants to expose someone's children; she has already stated she is keeping her sick child home.

That this is even a question someone has to ask is a result of the ignorance of disease and hostility towards non-vaxers that is promoted by the mainstream.
I disagree. I think it's important to let people know about this stuff. I see it as acting socially responsible. I tell my social circle if my kids have lice etc. I still wouldn't let my kids go play there until I treat it or they're better or whatever. But there is a contagious period before signs and symptoms develop. I would want them to be aware in case their kids or someone else in their friends' circle has a compromised immune system. For example, I would need to know if my kids had been exposed to a contagious (and for many people really dangerous) disease before taking them to visit at the senior's facility I work at. I'd keep them away until I knew they were in the clear. That sort of thing ya know? I don't really feel brainwashed by the mainstream for thinking that way.
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#23 of 28 Old 01-29-2009, 10:03 PM
 
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That this is even a question someone has to ask is a result of the ignorance of disease and hostility towards non-vaxers that is promoted by the mainstream.
How is this in any way a new idea? People were under quarantine for lesser ailments for many generations before the word "mainstream" was even used.

I don't feel even a pin-prick of hostility toward non-vaxers.
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#24 of 28 Old 01-29-2009, 10:07 PM
 
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I disagree. I think it's important to let people know about this stuff. I see it as acting socially responsible. I tell my social circle if my kids have lice etc. I still wouldn't let my kids go play there until I treat it or they're better or whatever. But there is a contagious period before signs and symptoms develop. I would want them to be aware in case their kids or someone else in their friends' circle has a compromised immune system.

For example, I would need to know if my kids had been exposed to a contagious (and for many people really dangerous) disease before taking them to visit at the senior's facility I work at. I'd keep them away until I knew they were in the clear. That sort of thing ya know? I don't really feel brainwashed by the mainstream for thinking that way.
You should do that for any illness, not just ones for which there is a vaccine available. If one is immunocompromised then any disease can be "really dangerous". If you would only do this for VADs then I would say you were.

Though my quote doesn't really apply to the OP anyway since she isn't considering keeping quiet out of fear of ostracism but due to fear of causing harm.

"It should be a rule in all prophylactic work that no harm should ever be unnecessarily inflicted on a healthy person (Sir Graham Wilson, The Hazards of Immunization, 1967)."
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#25 of 28 Old 01-29-2009, 11:38 PM
 
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Do you report your child's cold to your every acquaintance? The rhino virus could turn into pneumonia and kill. The mumps is typically a mild illness that is vaccinated against to prevent the rare complication (not unique to the mumps virus) of orchitis and sterility in males, not because a child is likely to die from it.

Not who you asked, but yes I do tell friends and keep my kid home from playdates if they have a cold. Why? Because if my friends 6 months old gets congested, I'm not the one up with her all night trying to clear her out so the family can get some sleep. I'm not the one who has to take a vacation day from work because the preschool would not let her kid in school with a cold. Not my kid, not my place to decide if it's a no big deal situation for other people's kids to get sick. And we do have one little friend in our play group with severe asthma. He gets a cold and it's a good bet he'll wind up in the ER on a nebulizer.
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#26 of 28 Old 01-29-2009, 11:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I guess I should clarify, I'm sorry if I wasn't clear in my OP.

My dd has not been around any of the children that I was talking about for quite some time. Long before she contracted mumps. They are at zero risk of catching mumps from her. I don't think that puts me under any obligation to share my dd's medical situation with them. If there were even the slightest chance they had been around dd when she was contagious, I wouldn't even question telling them.

Maybe the word "crusade" was wrong to use. From what I see, there is such a fear of not vaxing kids that people are rushing out to vax them at the first sign of a VPD. I would like to think that there is a movement towards people questioning vaccines, but when they are acting out of fear, there seems to be very little research that goes into decision and more of a blanket trust of vaccine pushing pediatricians.

I wanted to share with my friends that dd had the mumps in hopes of alleviating some of their fears. But I was afraid that I might have the opposite effect and scare them even more. I was curious to hear what others thought on this subject and if they had experienced anything that might apply.
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#27 of 28 Old 01-29-2009, 11:59 PM
 
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Do vaxing parents realize that the vax are not 100%? I was fully vaxed as a child (until I stopped getting the shots on my own accord) and I still developed mumps as an adult! It wasn't terribly bad but it was painful. I think it's much worse for adults anyway and I'm still not vaxing my daughter or any other children I have. But if these parents are worried about it and run to get their children vaxed, I do wonder if they truly believe it WILL prevent it instead of MIGHT prevent it ... just some food for thought

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#28 of 28 Old 01-30-2009, 11:53 PM
 
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I guess I should clarify, I'm sorry if I wasn't clear in my OP.

My dd has not been around any of the children that I was talking about for quite some time. Long before she contracted mumps. They are at zero risk of catching mumps from her. I don't think that puts me under any obligation to share my dd's medical situation with them. If there were even the slightest chance they had been around dd when she was contagious, I wouldn't even question telling them.

Maybe the word "crusade" was wrong to use. From what I see, there is such a fear of not vaxing kids that people are rushing out to vax them at the first sign of a VPD. I would like to think that there is a movement towards people questioning vaccines, but when they are acting out of fear, there seems to be very little research that goes into decision and more of a blanket trust of vaccine pushing pediatricians.

I wanted to share with my friends that dd had the mumps in hopes of alleviating some of their fears. But I was afraid that I might have the opposite effect and scare them even more. I was curious to hear what others thought on this subject and if they had experienced anything that might apply.
That's so much more clear
In this case I would tell them cause it could totally help alleviate their fears.
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