What should I say to my dr? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 01-23-2009, 11:29 PM - Thread Starter
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I am dreading my DD's 2 month WBV next week...

When we went for the 2 week appt, the issue of vaxes came up - I wasn't expecting the dr to bring it up since she wasn't getting any that visit, so I wasn't prepared and DH and I hadn't talked too much about vaxes. So I said that we are still researching but we're not planning on giving all of them and we want to delay them.

The Dr highly recommended we get the dtap, hib, and polio. I think my DH is finally in agreement that we won't get any, at least not yet.

I wish I hadn't said anything about research because it would be easier to just say it's against our religious beliefs.

I've done my research and I can explain why we don't want those 3 vaxes, but I've read many times on this forum that it's not worth it to try to defend your position because it just ends up in a long discussion that goes nowhere. I'm also not very assertive or confrontational so I don't want to be in a position where i have to be (but my DD will definitely NOT be getting any vaxes next week)

What is the best thing to say to my dr?

Loving wife to DH and mama to DD (11/08) and DS (2/12) and expecting another little boy (4/15)
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#2 of 6 Old 01-23-2009, 11:34 PM
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I would pick a phrase and stick with it. Two easy choices would be:

We're not vaxing right now, thanks.


Vaccinations are against our beliefs.

Don't discuss further. Repeat as needed.

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#3 of 6 Old 01-23-2009, 11:42 PM
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You can say that you were researching it with your religion and found out that it's against it. But if there are other laws in your are (such as personal beliefs) then I would go with that.

I try to be honest in all areas of my life so I can understand if you don't want to fib about the religion thing. If your country/state doesn't allow anything but medical or religious exemptions, then you may be forced to fib for the safety of your child.

If DH wasn't with you at the last visit you can always explain that you had changed religions when you married and weren't sure of some of the nuances, you're still learning yourself.

If your state allows personal beliefs, then I would go with that one and not give details. Just keep reiterating that it's a deeply held belief. As he offers stats and reasons why you should, smile, thank him, and hold your ground peacefully.

Stay away from the medical debate, it's not worth the hassle as doctors are indoctrinated to believe a certain way and they feel they are doing the greater good for children by vaccinating.

We never went to a WBV after my son was 2 weeks old. It wasn't worth the hassles, YKWIM?

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#4 of 6 Old 01-24-2009, 12:31 AM
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Just tell your pedi that you will not be vaxing. If he pushes, say that you would rather not debate it, but that you have done your research and you will not be vaxing.

Our pedi double-checks every time we go in, but never pushes. He simply says, "I'm assuming if you changed your mind about vaxes, you'll let me know". I always say, "I will let you know". Then he frequently follows up with telling us to stay away from sick people. He knows we won't ever get them, so I'm thinking it's just on his checklist of stuff to go through. If your pedi pushes or bullies you, look for a new pedi.
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#5 of 6 Old 01-24-2009, 04:19 PM
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Remember, "no" is a complete sentence.

And if you're dreading the visit, get a new doc. Find a family doc, find a naturopath (DS only saw an ND for the WBVs we did for his first year), find a nicer ped...no sense giving money to someone you dread seeing.
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#6 of 6 Old 01-24-2009, 04:47 PM
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You shouldn't have to worry about being bullied by your doctor. They work for you, not the other way around.

Say, "Thank you, but we will not be vaccinating. This decision is final and not open for discussion." Say it politely but firmly and stay calm. Practice in the mirror, if you must. Any decent person will see that you are serious and will drop the matter. If they don't drop it and start pushing, find a new pedi.

Would you let your mechanic bully you? Your plumber, electrician, or carpenter? No. You don't have to take any guff from a service provider, and you shouldn't. Vote with your feet.

Loving wife partners.gif and mama to my sweet little son coolshine.gif (Fall 2008) and a beautiful baby girl babyf.gif(Fall 2010)


When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty. --George Bernard Shaw

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