Do you ever stop jumping to the worst case secnerio? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 19 Old 01-27-2009, 12:03 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi everyone,

For those who are not vaccinating do you always assume the worst when your child falls ill? And if you used to but don't now when does it stop? I have chosen to not vaccinate DS so far and am still doing my research but I can't help but thing the worst when he gets sick, well when he has a fever especially. Today I had convinced myself that he had Meningitis because he had a fever of 38.2 C (100.76 F) and cool hands and feet (he is also getting his first molars in).

Anyway just wondering if this goes away or if it just a new mom thing?

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#2 of 19 Old 01-27-2009, 12:11 AM
 
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I never really did that honestly. I would suggest a lot more reading on the diseases.

-Angela
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#3 of 19 Old 01-27-2009, 02:20 AM
 
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Just sounds like new mom anxiety.
Do you have a good non-vax pushing pediatrician? Might ease your fears.

Unfortunately those of us who choose not to vax are constantly being undermined and questioned about it by people who haven't done their research so I suspect it's not unusual that we might second guess ourselves.
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#4 of 19 Old 01-27-2009, 02:27 AM
 
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new mom anxiety totally... i barely even notice when my kids get sick anymore, they rarely get sick sick, theyre usually running around sick.
even when they got the mumps it didnt slow them down. once you learn about the diseases theyre not scary anymore i find

Mother to Sandrel(oct 2003) and Liesl(mar 2006) and someone new coming February 2013

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#5 of 19 Old 01-27-2009, 03:17 AM
 
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I don't think it is necessarily new mom anxiety...I think it is new to not vaccinating anxiety. I have 5 kids ages 16-1 and I am doing the same thing. I vaccinated the first 3 (never researched), partially the 4th one (up to 4 mos...possible reaction), none for my 5th one who is 17 mos. I never worried about the older ones when I was a new mom. I started worrying when I chose to stop vaccinating. Mostly I am comfortable and I have done tons of research and feel like I know way more now than I did then. I think it has to do with going against the grain...kwim? There is alot of scare mongering out there and fear tactics. I am prone to anxiety and sometimes their tactics get the best of me. I usually come here to get grounded again. ) I am feeling better about my decision and many of the diseases themselves. The one that still frightens me sometimes is meningitis...that is the one I am wrestling with right now. I started a thread in the vaccinations board "meningitis fears", and I am already feeling better after reading alot of the wise moms here.
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#6 of 19 Old 01-27-2009, 03:38 AM
 
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I'll admit I was scared at first. Reading Raising a Vaccine Free Child didn't help. The way she worded her statements regarding taking care of a child during an illness made it seem very 'or else.' I ended up very anxious after thinking one little deviation/mistake and my child would surely die. Not very comforting reading material when you're new to this path.

What comforted me was when my DD was 2 months and I just finally remembered my 3 cousins were unvaccinated. They were hardly ever sick, got their childhood diseases without so much as a complaint. Polio was the only one that may have scared me except for having yet another relative to reflect on. He survived polio fairly well given the times. I certainly wouldn't call him crippled. Also, Dr. Klenner successfully treated polio with vitamin C which I always have in abundance.

My DD got sick once. I blame the crap the hospital put us both through. DH was very concerned, but I just increased my vitamin C and nursed constantly. She was as energetic as ever and was completely well again in no time. I'm honestly not worried.
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#7 of 19 Old 01-27-2009, 11:22 AM
 
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I did jump to the worst case scenario a couple of times. I generally don't anymore - I've seen how healthy DS is, and DD2 is so little I wouldn't want her to get even a cold at this point, yk?

I forget that meningitis is even considered a VPD. I mean, you can still get it, even with the typical childhood vaccines - so in that case, I think I'd actually be more worried if a doctor ruled it out prematurely.

Kash, homeschooling mommy to Gillian (8/5/00) and Jacob (3/23/05)
and Brigid Eleanor (11/20/08)
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#8 of 19 Old 01-27-2009, 11:35 AM
 
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Even when my kids had a VPD I didn't jump to that conclusion first. Actually dh came home and said hmmm I think they might have wc. and I kinda slapped my forehead and went Duh. Yea that makes sense. lol For me its not the vpd that scares me. Its the other stuff.

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#9 of 19 Old 01-27-2009, 12:53 PM
 
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I'm not that fussed, honest. Given that vaccines don't actually prevent the diseases they are named for I wouldn't worry much less than I do now. I'm kind of hyper-vigilant anyway about illness but the lack of vaccinations doesn't play in much. I want to know when my daughter looks different so that I can track things but I'm not that worried about her contracting a terrible disease. We don't have enough contact with people for me to worry about it. heh

My advice may not be appropriate for you. That's ok. You are just fine how you are and I am the right kind of me.

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#10 of 19 Old 01-27-2009, 01:10 PM
 
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I think one of the reasons it wasn't an issue for me was that my son, 2nd child, 1st unvaccinated, got sick a lot. The first things were clearly normal baby colds, just lots and lots one after the other, and so I got a lot of practice really fast with supporting him through illness. Having a concrete set of things to do (less when he's normally sick, more when he seems sicker) has really helped--I've seen what works for my kid, and that provides a lot of reassurance. (and yay, this year, he's almost 3, and he's probably only as sick as a normal almost-3-year-old . Anyway, that's what's worked for me.
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#11 of 19 Old 01-27-2009, 03:06 PM
 
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The things I worry about are chronic and/or autoimmune type diseases. I "worry" (when I worry, which isn't too often anymore) about Type 1 diabetes, leukemia, bizarre tumors, cancer later in life.... I worry about autism/asbergers (though not so much anymore now that I know a bit more about them). Since there seems to be evidence linking vaccines to some or all of these conditions, my "worry" makes my choice very easy. My current reading (Anti-Cancer by David Serbhan-Schreiber (spelling?) has totally convinced me of the HUGE importance of the immune system. I do not want to mess with that!)


My DD could be fully vaxed, fully unvaxed, fully healthy, eating all organic foods, or eating processed junk, and then die in a car accident. She could have a urinary tract infection I don't recognize and die of septicemia ***(current events always scare me a little!) Vaccinated babies and unvaccinated babies die every day. I try to turn my worry into thankfulness that I have my DD with me, and I pray God will give me wisdom to protect her as well as I can. Right now, I feel very confident in my belief that the best way to protect her right now is through no more vaccinations for the forseeable future.

I only bring this up because I think that a lot of people who vaccinate without really researching it tend to think of it as something which will definitely keep their children safe and healthy-- "Lots of children used to die, now children don't die.Thank goodness for vaccinations!" (I do not AT ALL mean to imply that the OP feels this way) It's just not that simple, but it's easy to simplify it in that way.

*** I totally get that this is WILDLY unlikely. I don't have time to crunch the numbers, but I bet it's more likely than that she will contract polio in the US

Aspiring to 1 Thessalonians 4:11.Wife to Dh, 2004. Mother to DD 3/07.
So thankful for our healthy baby boy, born Easter morning, 2010!
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#12 of 19 Old 01-27-2009, 06:39 PM
 
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Pick up "How to Raise a Healthy in Spite of Your Dr", which has great information on fevers.

You could also get the Dr. Sears' emails:

Dr. Sears:
A fever is not an illness in itself -- it's the symptom of an underlying problem (usually an infection), just as a car's engine light acts as an alarm signal. And not every one is necessarily serious.

A higher fever doesn't always indicate a sicker child. Minor viral illnesses may produce a high temperature (104°F to 105°F), while some serious bacterial infections -- like meningitis -- may cause a lower one (101°F to 102°F). Also, a fever that spikes high but subsides quickly is usually less of a worry than a mild fever that doesn't come down easily.


The best way to know when to be concerned: Watch your child, not the thermometer, for increasing signs of illness. (One exception: If an infant 3 months or younger has a rectal temperature above 100.5°F for more than eight hours, you should call the doctor right away, whether or not she shows any other signs of illness.) Get to know the typical progression of her fevers, and pay attention to any deviation from their typical course. For example, if your child never runs high fevers and then one day does, that's much more serious than if her temperature usually reaches 104°F with a normal cold.


Most fevers will go down within a few days, but in the meantime, here are some ways to help your child feel more comfortable:

Dress her in light, breathable clothing, to let the heat radiate out of her body. Don't bundle her in heavy blankets or cover her head. Give your little one plenty of fluids -- such as water and juice -- so that she doesn't dehydrate.Keep your child calm, since too much activity and fussing can raise her body temperature. Make sure she gets a good night's sleep too.And, of course, if your child's temperature continues to rise over a few days and she gets progressively sicker, call your pediatrician.

http://naturalmedicine.suite101.com/...ever_naturally


"It should be a rule in all prophylactic work that no harm should ever be unnecessarily inflicted on a healthy person (Sir Graham Wilson, The Hazards of Immunization, 1967)."
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#13 of 19 Old 01-27-2009, 08:59 PM
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Originally Posted by Emmeline II View Post
Pick up "How to Raise a Healthy in Spite of Your Dr", which has great information on fevers.
This is what I was going to say. I don't have my bambina yet but we are led to believe that sickness is scary and his book really helped me see that "sickness" is a healthy body responding in the right way.
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#14 of 19 Old 01-27-2009, 09:21 PM
 
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It does sound like you just have new-mommy jitters.

I agree with pp, that if the diseases are scaring you that much, you should do a little more research on them. Once I did my research, I realized that most of the diseases weren't that scary. I strongly believe in bfing and helping dd to form a healthy immune system for as long as she needs.

The "worst case scenario" for me is injecting my daughter with all that crap and wondering what's going to happen to her as a result (auto-immune diseases, asthma, allergies, arthritis, cancer, and on and on...). That's what freaks me out! I am so thankful that I decided not to vax before dd was born.
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#15 of 19 Old 01-28-2009, 06:33 AM
 
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Since vaccines aren't 100%, I'd still have whatever worries even if I did vaccinate. But with an added layer of "the doctor won't diagnose the disease b/c of vax status so how would I know" AND "is that a vaccine reaction?" on top of it.

I'll stick with where I am! I have some medical background, I know where to find info on how to take care of certain illnesses, I have a good ND I could call if needed, and I've got some family lore/info to help should I ever encounter diphtheria. So I've got things covered on the disease front.


So I focus my worry, when it shows up, on what *could have happened* when DS fell and hit his head at Target, on how glad I am that DS's burn wasn't that bad, on how much I like the children's hospital ER, and things like that.
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#16 of 19 Old 01-28-2009, 12:32 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank-you everyone for your perspectives. I do have a great non-vax friendly Dr. who is very holistic in her practice : Which is helpful, we went to see her yesterday and she confirmed that it was nothing serious but that DS was fighting off something and to allow his body to fever (which I did know and am never to quick to try to reduce a fever)

I will get the books suggested to read. Dr. Sears is one of my go to sources when DS has been sick. I have researched the disease that scarred me the most like Polio in the past and it is true that after doing the research it is easier to not buy into the fear mongering. Now that I have done some more research on meningitis I have alleviated some of my fears. I do fear the affects of vaccination much more then the rarity of the really scary diseases which is why we have not vaccinated yet. I will not vaccinate my DS until I feel that the vaccination is safe and necessary.

I think to that it does depend on the type of person you are and how long you have been mothering for in terms of jumping to "the worst case scenario" I guess too that I am a bit anxious as I lost my daughter after birth to a disease that was so incredible rare that none of our caregivers even knew what it was. There have only been a few cases presented around the world and they are always fatal. I am hoping as I become a more seasoned mother that anxiety lessons.

It is great to have such a wonderful collective of knowledgeable people to check in with. I thank you all.

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#17 of 19 Old 01-29-2009, 06:07 PM
 
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I only have 2 yrs of experience with kid illnesses (DD is 27 mos) but I can honestly say that I have never jumped to the worst case scenario mindset. Sure, the first few months I did worry about not vaxing since that is the norm. But when she has actually been sick I never even considered a VAD and worst case.

Read Mendelsohn's "How to Raise a Healthy Child" as a pp suggested. I have a lot less fever anxiety, it seems, than my more mainstream friends. When DD has had a fever it said to me that her immune system was doing its job. I don't even take her temp anymore.

Wow, I would love a holistic doc. Lucky mama!
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#18 of 19 Old 01-30-2009, 04:26 AM
 
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I guess too that I am a bit anxious as I lost my daughter after birth to a disease that was so incredible rare that none of our caregivers even knew what it was. There have only been a few cases presented around the world and they are always fatal.
Oh I'm so sorry. Yes that does make a big difference. Just as I'm more nervous about head injuries, since DS could have had his life changed forever (or even ended) if he hadn't been trying on a thick fleece hat when he fell backwards onto a metal clothing rack base, you of course would have a heightened awareness of scary diseases.

Sorry if I was harsh, I didn't know and didn't even glimpse at your sig. Good lesson.
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#19 of 19 Old 01-30-2009, 02:04 PM
 
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I think to that it does depend on the type of person you are and how long you have been mothering for in terms of jumping to "the worst case scenario" I guess too that I am a bit anxious as I lost my daughter after birth to a disease that was so incredible rare that none of our caregivers even knew what it was. There have only been a few cases presented around the world and they are always fatal. I am hoping as I become a more seasoned mother that anxiety lessons.
I don't think this is about being an "unseasoned" mother. The worst case scenario did happen to you, though it was apparently a disease without a vaccine. It may help you to keep a detailed health log of your children so when they are ill so the progression of the disease is clear which will help in diagnosis. A lot of diseases are distinguished by whether there is a fever, does it go up/down/hold steady, is there a rash, how long after the fever did the rash appear, where did the rash start, is the rash ascending or descending, do they have swollen glands, when did your first notice the swelling, etc...

"It should be a rule in all prophylactic work that no harm should ever be unnecessarily inflicted on a healthy person (Sir Graham Wilson, The Hazards of Immunization, 1967)."
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