Desperate dad needs help...mom severely indoctrinated, please read - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 30 Old 03-15-2009, 02:42 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Just a little background info...the mother of my yet unborn child is very mainstream, pro doctor, and generally takes their word as gospel. she jumps at the chance to go the doctor and get pumped full of whatever they can give her. She is completely close minded to any sort of alternative treatment or medicine, and doestn believe in any sort of medical corruption.

She has it in her head that she wants to give our son whatever the doctor or ped reccomends, and this is causing some tension between us. A few times, me bringing up casual conversation topics about alternative medicine has mad her very irrationally angry. I tell you this so you can see how uphill my battle is.

I feel completely outnumbered and without a voice in my quest to inform her. I offer to show articles from the internet about anti-vax and the side effects, and her response is usually something along the lines of " These articles are biased, the source is bad, you cant believe everything you read on the internet". I offer to buy books, and she says she wont read them because pregnancy makes her tired and not able to focus. Her parents are also pro vaccine , and seem to have been pumped full of fear and horror at the prospect of having an unvaccinated grandson.

Basically i am made to feel like the bad guy wherever i go and with whomever i talk to...when we go to the ob/gyn's office theres pro-vax pamphlets everywhere, the magazines are filled with disinfo lies made to promote fear, the doctor regards my ideas of not giving shots as child abuse. I feel that i need to be a complete expert on this subject to confront the doctor, as she has her rheteric memorized down to a T and i would be left scrambling my brain for retorts. Hell, sometimes i even begin to doubt myself untill i do some more research just to reassure myself i am in the right here

i am pretty scared right now that my voice is not going to be heard and one way or another my son is going to get some nasty vaccines. this also makes me feel very angry and hopeless.

What in the world can i do to get her to see my POV?
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#2 of 30 Old 03-15-2009, 03:08 AM
 
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This does sound like a real uphill battle. It doesn't sound like you are going to convince her of a thing at this point especially if she is unwilling to read and research herself.
My best suggestion is buy some books and just leave them out and about.

Try this book http://www.amazon.com/Raise-Healthy-...7097072&sr=8-1

If she is dead set on vaxing then maybe you can at least have her do a selective/delayed schedule. You can both look at Dr. Sears' book, http://www.amazon.com/Vaccine-Book-D...7097201&sr=1-1

At best just try to have her listen to your feelings about it and avoid any finger pointing.

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#3 of 30 Old 03-15-2009, 08:17 AM
 
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I agree with the suggestion to get Mendelsohn's book How to Raise a Healthy Child in Spite of Your Doctor. This is written by an allopathic doctor. Find other material written by allopathic medical doctors that question vaccines, so you can show her that even the medical community has serious concerns. If she is that indoctrinated, then other sources will probably turn her off.

Show her the package inserts from the vaccines. There are plenty of websites that offer that info. Most people have no idea vaccines are responsible for anything bad, outside of a fever. Plant the seeds. She won't change overnight.

Find out what her fears are. Take them respectfully one at a time.

Maybe you could make a deal that you will read one of her books on children's health if she will read one of yours. Then you can discuss them.

The baby will be your child too. Good luck.

Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation. - Oscar Wilde
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#4 of 30 Old 03-15-2009, 08:19 AM
 
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I'm sorry you have to go through this. It does sound like she is coming from such an emotional place that you are not going to convince her with facts. At least not yet. Have you considered talking to her about selective/delayed vaccination instead of straight out not vaccinating? They do less vaccines later in a lot of countries and have less autism, SIDS, etc.
I second the idea of leaving books around that tell about this.
Good luck with this... Just remember, even if there ends up being nothing you can do, there are a lot of kids who are fully vaccinated and still healthy. I'm sorry you're feeling so powerless... Maybe you can look at this as an opportunity for personal growth? When I feel powerless that's what I do Good luck!

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#5 of 30 Old 03-15-2009, 08:20 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Scattershoot View Post
I agree with the suggestion to get Mendelsohn's book How to Raise a Healthy Child in Spite of Your Doctor. This is written by an allopathic doctor. Find other material written by allopathic medical doctors that question vaccines, so you can show her that even the medical community has serious concerns. If she is that indoctrinated, then other sources will probably turn her off.

Show her the package inserts from the vaccines. There are plenty of websites that offer that info. Most people have no idea vaccines are responsible for anything bad, outside of a fever. Plant the seeds. She won't change overnight.

Find out what her fears are. Take them respectfully one at a time.

Maybe you could make a deal that you will read one of her books on children's health if she will read one of yours. Then you can discuss them.

The baby will be your child too. Good luck.
: good advice!

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#6 of 30 Old 03-15-2009, 12:45 PM
 
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My dh was as mainstream as you can get. In fact, he tests drugs for pharmaceutical companies. I flat out told him he didn't get to take part in the decision-making wrt vaxes unless and until he had done at least as much research as I had done, both pro and anti-vax. He is now 100 percent on board and is even more vocal about our decision not to vax than I am. I just wanted you to know that if my dh can be convinced, your dw can too.

Mendolsohn's book is great; also find something that outlines the risks vs. benefits of vaxes vs. disease. There was one by Randall Neustedter (homopath) that really helped my husband. As a scientist, he liked to see the numbers - chances of contracting the disease, etc.

There are also videos available that discuss the dangers of vax.

Remind her that a vax can always be given, but never taken away and she owes it to her child to make the most informed decision possible.

HTH.
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#7 of 30 Old 03-15-2009, 05:37 PM
 
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The parent who refuses (to research) loses the right to make a decision. Also, stay with your baby EVERY second to avoid vaccination. Keep your baby in the room for every test and exam unless it is an emergency. If they want you to fill out paperwork they can bring it to you. You don't need to explain yourself to the OB; you can always say "X is not up for discussion."

This link compares a 1980 vax schedule with a 90s vax schedule; print it out a leave it somewhere:
Over Vaccination

This is the vaccine injury table from the US Government National Vaccine Injury Compensation Program; I'd print this out too: http://www.hrsa.gov/vaccinecompensation/table.htm

Print out the manufacturer's vaccine inserts for the 2 vaccines: http://www.vaccinesafety.edu/package_inserts.htm

Hep B (given to infants to protect the promiscuous drug users they will become in their teens)
RV
DTaP
Hib
PCV
IPV


You cannot take out the vaccines once they are in; doing nothing is the default position. I would get some books:

For Vaccines:

How to Raise a Child in Spite of your Dr by Dr. Robert Mendelsohn

What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Children's Vaccinations by Dr. Stephanie Cave

Just a Little Prick by Hilary Butler

For Pregnancy and Baby:

Obstetrical Myths vs Research Realities by Henci Goer
The Pregnancy Book: Month-by-Month, Everything You Need to Know From America's Baby Experts by Martha and Dr. Sears


The Baby Book by Martha and Dr. Sears

and if necessary:

Toxic In-Laws: Loving Strategies for Protecting Your Marriage by Susan Foward



You can watch this video on youtube:
Vaccines-The Risks, the Benefits, the Choices DVD, By Sherri J. TENPENNY
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7018835240451107552



Here are some questions to answer for yourself in deciding about vax:

1. Name of the disease
2. Description of the disease
3. Length of time from initial infection to end of all symptoms
4. Infectious period
5. Normal symptoms of the disease
6. Known serious consequences of the disease
7. Proportion of persons infected developing serious consequences
8. Transmission route of the disease
9. Prevalence of the disease
10. Treatments of the disease and efficacy of those treatments
11. Relevant research about the disease
12. Name of the vaccine
13. Company that makes the vaccine
14. Contents of the vaccine
14A. The significance of whether or not the vaccine is live
15. History of development of the vaccine
16. Known side-effects of the vaccine and rate of incidence of those side-effects
17. Possible side-effects not yet acknowledged by the vaccine maker
18. Relevant research into the vaccine
19. How effective is the vaccine at preventing the disease?
20.What is the vaccine meant to do? (Many vaccines are not meant to prevent infection or transmission).
21.Number of cases reported each year.
22.Number of deaths reported each year from the vaccine and natural disease.

Here are some sources to help you out:

Inside Vaccines

Vaccines-The Risks, the Benefits, the Choices DVD, By Sherri J. TENPENNY
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7018835240451107552



http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/mmwr_wk.html (download the current issue)
http://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/pubs/pin...k-chapters.htm
http://vaers.hhs.gov/pdf/PackageInserts.pdf
http://video.google.com/videoplay?do...40451107552&q=
http://video.google.com/videoplay?do...87981735&hl=en
http://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/pubs/pin...ses&deaths.pdf

"It should be a rule in all prophylactic work that no harm should ever be unnecessarily inflicted on a healthy person (Sir Graham Wilson, The Hazards of Immunization, 1967)."
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#8 of 30 Old 03-15-2009, 05:50 PM
 
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My thinking used to be very similar to hers. What tipped me over was reading A Shot in the Dark....in particular the information in that book about how the vaccine industry works and how it and the government covers up the truth. That, and on my own, reading the VAERS database after searches on reactions to the DTaP. Once I became afraid of the DTaP, I began to question the rest as well.

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#9 of 30 Old 03-15-2009, 06:11 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Emmeline II View Post
I would get some books:

For Vaccines:

How to Raise a Child in Spite of your Dr by Dr. Robert Mendelsohn

What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Children's Vaccinations by Dr. Stephanie Cave

[/URL]
I just got the book How to Raise a Child in Spite of your Dr, but havent had the chance to read it yet because Im reading Raising a Vaccine Free Child, but I have read What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Children's Vaccinations, and it is very good. It goes through pretty much every vaccine individually and talks about it, and also gives you some insight for vaccines to watch out for in the future. Very good books. I was afriad I would have vaccine issues with my DH because I knew he didn't see things exactly the way I did on things. I just kept doing my research and would gradually make comments about something I had just learned. I was very fortunate that he didnt try to fight me on the issue. He knew that I did a lot of research would not do something to harm our child.It is hard to make someone who is so convinced in vaccines and everything else drs have to say, to see that there is a negative side to vaccines,I know because my in-laws do not like us not vaxing, but they have never researched the other side of vaccines. Maybe if you leave things laying around, like others have suggested,then maybe she will read it and get to thinkin about it.
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#10 of 30 Old 03-15-2009, 06:29 PM
 
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What opened my eyes was the CDC website's listing of the chemicals in vaccines. www.cdc.gov Also VAERS.

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#11 of 30 Old 03-15-2009, 06:35 PM
 
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Do everything you can to find a doctor in your area that agrees with your views. There are medical doctors out there that understand and even promote the decision to not to vax or use a alternative vax schedule, practice attachment parenting and other "alternative" parenting choices. You can give her books and articles to read, but if what she really wants is to take the advice of a live, in-person doctor, than give her that. People who are really stubborn need to "hear it from the horses mouth" so-to-speak.

Good luck!

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#12 of 30 Old 03-16-2009, 02:43 AM
 
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I have to agree. You should get all the research together and tell her that she doesn't have a say if she doesn't educate herself. Definitely stay with the baby AT ALL times, no matter what. I assume you are having a hospital birth? Tell the OB and the hospital staff that you do NOT give consent for ANY vaccines at all and that they are not to administer anything without your permission. All you have to do is say 'lawsuit' and they will back down.
I know a couple in your situation. He was/is extremely anti-vax and she is extremely pro-vax. They finally agreed to do selective vax starting at 2.5 years old.

Off topic: but since you are so anti-vax, does that mean you are anti-circ too? You could use that to your advantage. It's not your (or your wife's) penis to cut, just like it's not your (or your wife's) immune system to compromise.

If you really want to, show her www.vaccine911.com and show her all the memorials for lost babies who were killed by vaccines or the babies who have neurological damage due to vaccines. I'm sure she won't want to look at a site dedicated to lost babies. Really, it's heartbreaking and would make any person cry.

I would also suggest going to your tribal area and finding others who have docs in your area who aren't massively pro-vax. That should definitely help your case.

Good Luck in your battle to save your baby!!!!!

Me with my baby girl Maeleigh (Oct 08) and My (step) baby girl Whren (May 05) in Heaven with her mommy .. And introducing our little JuneBug (June 10) We heard the !!!
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#13 of 30 Old 03-16-2009, 10:35 AM
 
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The parent who refuses (to research) loses the right to make a decision. Also, stay with your baby EVERY second to avoid vaccination. Keep your baby in the room for every test and exam unless it is an emergency. If they want you to fill out paperwork they can bring it to you. You don't need to explain yourself to the OB; you can always say "X is not up for discussion."
While I think this is great advice, sadly it doesn't work every where. When my twins were born (3 years ago) my dh and no say at all with them. They had to ask me everything, names, spelling of names, procedures that needed to be done (they were preemies). I remember when the NICU docs wanted to do a procedure to the kids. They told my dh about it but they needed my signature. When the doctor was talking to me about it, she would not even make eye contact with my dh and he was standing right next to me. Right after they were born, he told them their names and they said it didn't matter what he said, only the mother could give them the names and spellings. They had to ask me about not vaxing right after my dh said no to them. They treat the father as nothing but a sperm donor. It's really sad and disheartening.

I hope this isn't the case for you OP, but sadly, it probably is What and how do you bring it to her? If you start of like you are right in your thoughts, she is going to shut down. Maybe if you read one of these books, say something like "I was reading X book and in it, the author said X, Y, Z" Just do it as matter of fact, not like you are right and she is wrong. Also throw some numbers out from time to time. Like how many kids now a days have autism compared to 20 years ago. Another thing that gets people is ingrediants. Just say "did you know that there is mercury (neurotoxin), formaldehyde (cancer causing agent) and aluminim in vaccines? along with aborted fetal cells (human diploid cells)? Tons of people who do vax, have no idea that these things are in there and when they find out, they are shocked and causes them to second guess it. Here is some "reliable" infor for you

Vaccine inserts (ingrediant lists)
http://vaccinesafety.edu/package_inserts.htm

Vaccines that contain formaldehyde
http://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/pubs/pin...nt-table-2.pdf

Aborted cell line
Info on WI-38
http://www.viromed.com/services/product/wi38.htm
http://www.cogforlife.org/wi-38.htm

Info on MRC-5
http://www.viromed.com/services/product/mrc5.htm
http://www.cogforlife.org/mrc-5.htm

These are just the tip of iceberg, but it's a start. GL!!!

single mommy to identical twin girls (3/06) Non-traditional mama just : through life.
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#14 of 30 Old 03-16-2009, 07:05 PM
 
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Would she be willing to watch a video? This is one I would have her watch...

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg...X0DER&v=glance

Vaccines: What CDC Documents and Science Reveal
by Dr. Sherri J. Tenpenny
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#15 of 30 Old 03-17-2009, 12:48 AM
 
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first off: your unborn child is very lucky to have a father who cares so much about what is put into his body-good for you!

i agree with all of the other posts, especially looking at the sears vaccine book together. she will take this source seriously because he is a "reputable" pediatrician and even in his book he talks about the aluminum and such being toxic. i haven't read it though....


also, this is not the most honest advice, but maybe putting a little fear in her will at least get her research ball rolling there are stories out there of vaccine damaged babies that are just heart breaking. she can't tell you then that the source false because it really happened!

best of luck to you and keep up posted, hopefully with a positive outcome!
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#16 of 30 Old 03-17-2009, 03:59 PM
 
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I'm sorry


you have a lot of good advice already. Just never give up hope that she will come around. Have her look at the CDC pinkbook as well. Good luck!

If the people let government decide what foods they eat and what medicines they take, their bodies will soon be in as sorry a state as are the souls of those who live under tyranny." Thomas Jefferson.

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#17 of 30 Old 03-17-2009, 04:30 PM
 
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I had the same problem here with DH. When DS was a newborn, I wanted to wait until I had more time to research. He refused, and DS has now had most of his shots against my wishes. As you can imagine, this (among other things) has made things extremely difficult between us. We have been to counseling for 2+ years, I don't feel I have forgiven him for forcing the shots and I have not forgiven myself for allowing it.

So it's really important that you both only agree to vaccinate if you are both OK with it. Watching the Dr. Jay Gordon DVD really helped open DH's eyes. He finally realized that DS is not going to die if he doesn't get every single shot. He is still pro-vax but it did help. (I don't mind pro-vax but as long as pro-vax means informed and lots of research from various sides, which he has not done)

Others have posted good links. Will she read the insidevaccines one? She cannot argue with it as biased because all info comes from the CDC and scientific studies.

It sounds like she will listen to doctors. How about these doctors?

Dr. Sheri Tenpenny (video linked from my website)
Dr. Jay Gordon
Dr. Sears (I haven't read his vaccine book and heard it has misinformation, but he does have a great article on Mothering about aluminum)
Dr. Lauren Feder (book, mostly non-biased but may have some misinformation)
Dr. Boyd Haley (mercury expert)
list http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=755515
list http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=995169 post 4
doc quotes (you will have to verify quotes): http://www.care2.com/c2c/share/detail/529621
List of no vax friendly docs: http://www.cafemom.com/group/4388/fo...List_Directory
Dr. Frank Engley: http://www.ageofautism.com/2008/08/dr-frank-engley.html
Dr. Andrew Mouldon: http://brainguardmd.com/
Dr. Bernadine Healy (former head of NIH): not anti-vax, but...http://www.ageofautism.com/2008/09/olmsted-of-auti.html
Dr. Jon Poling: a highly respected neurologist. Daughter Hannah was vaccine injured and they won in vaccine court. He now speaks out about vaccine safety and more studies needed: http://www.ajc.com/opinion/content/o...nged_0313.html

Those are the only ones I know of off the top of my head. If a doc is pro or selective vax they don't usually shout it from the rooftops for obvious reasons.

Oh, and going the other way:

--Dr. Renee Jenkins of the AAP says that the 3% of children damaged by vaccines is acceptable. Isn't that nice? :
--Dr. David Tayloe, current head of the AAP, said that he never had a child in his practice damaged by vaccines. What he fails to mention, conveniently, is that his father had a huge judgement awarded against him for vaccine damage to a child. Not exactly an outright lie on Tayloe's part but...
--Dr. Paul Offit is an outspoken critic of anyone anti or selective/delay vax. He has made millions off the second Rotovirus vaccine.

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#18 of 30 Old 03-17-2009, 05:34 PM
 
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ophelia, great list of anti-vax docs in us! thanks for the link!
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#19 of 30 Old 03-17-2009, 06:07 PM
 
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You're welcome, they are not all anti-vax but do speak out against misinformation and the need for more studies, etc.

DS 2006 nocirc.gif DiaperFreeBaby angel1.gif March 2010, DD 2011

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#20 of 30 Old 03-17-2009, 09:04 PM
 
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My suggestion is to search for an alternative friendly ped in your area. If she take the doctors words as gospel, then try to find a doctor for your child that is more open minded to alternatives. When you go to the peds office ask them questions about the safty of vaxes and maybe you can find a doctor that will give your wife some real info. Otherwise it sounds like an uphill battle for you. Good luck.

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#21 of 30 Old 03-18-2009, 01:30 AM
 
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I watched a movie called Vaccine Nation on google video with my husband. It was enough to make him change his mind.

Me(33), Mama to a crazy DD (6), Wife to a wonderful mountain man(32) BF my babe for 2 years.
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#22 of 30 Old 03-18-2009, 05:21 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Treece View Post
What opened my eyes was the CDC website's listing of the chemicals in vaccines. www.cdc.gov Also VAERS.
This is what helped me convince DH to atleast delay vaxxing. We are both on the fence until at least school age. But I told him, unless you do as much research as I have, you dont get to make the decision. Unfortunatly for the OP, I am the mother, and he is not. In our society, the mother primary caregiver, thus the decision maker. Work her good. Maybe her hormones are clouding her reasoning??
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#23 of 30 Old 04-08-2009, 10:41 PM
 
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I watched a movie called Vaccine Nation on google video with my husband. It was enough to make him change his mind.
I was going to suggest this video too. Here's the link if OP or anyone else would like it:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?do...uCQ&q=vaccines

Mothering a beautiful boy

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#24 of 30 Old 04-09-2009, 02:12 AM
 
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All of this is fantastic advice. However, I think before you present any info to her, you'll need to at least be willing to listen to your feelings on the matter. Maybe approach it to her in a calm way when she's in a good, non-stressed mood that you're really concerned about some of the things you've heard about vaccines and would she be willing to hold off on giving any to the unborn child while the two of you look into it a bit first? You can even spin it to make it sound like you want her to research it with you to show you that they're safe (then slip in the correct info to start showing her otherwise). Good luck to you!
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#25 of 30 Old 04-15-2009, 11:59 AM
 
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This might be a weird question, but do you have any idea why she hangs on to every single word doctor tells her? You said she nearly jumps at every chance possible to go to the doctor - most of us, even those who like doctors, avoid going like the plague. Is there maybe some emotional attachment to doctoral care? Maybe that she felt illnesses (i.e. cold, flu) were ignored in her family growing up and she finds comfort in being 'taken care of' by medical professionals? If you could figure out why she's so attached to doctors and their care to this extreme, it might help you understand where she's coming from and how better to approach her.

I'm a psych major and have realized that there's usually emotional reasons in cases like these.

I do hope you can find a way to get her to at least listen to you. It's definitely not fair that it's all her way or that she won't at least hear your side and consider options.

Andi, 32 - SAHM to Aaron Patriot born at home on 8/7/09 and devoted wife to Paul. : EC, Non-Circ ::
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#26 of 30 Old 04-16-2009, 01:44 AM - Thread Starter
 
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This might be a weird question, but do you have any idea why she hangs on to every single word doctor tells her? You said she nearly jumps at every chance possible to go to the doctor - most of us, even those who like doctors, avoid going like the plague. Is there maybe some emotional attachment to doctoral care? Maybe that she felt illnesses (i.e. cold, flu) were ignored in her family growing up and she finds comfort in being 'taken care of' by medical professionals? If you could figure out why she's so attached to doctors and their care to this extreme, it might help you understand where she's coming from and how better to approach her.

I'm a psych major and have realized that there's usually emotional reasons in cases like these.

I do hope you can find a way to get her to at least listen to you. It's definitely not fair that it's all her way or that she won't at least hear your side and consider options.
sorry i havent responded in here, i appreciate all the replies...i made a big reply a while ago for this thread but i accidentally deleted it all and didn't have the energy to type it up again.

yes you are right, there is definitely an emotional attachment to western medicine/drugs/doctors. she takes ADHD medicine and believes she can barely function without it (hasnt been taking it all pregnancy long and seems fine to me). she has a history involving medical services i would rather not go into detail about, plus her father was a psychologist. that is probably the biggest factor, her father being part of the medical establishment and probably has extolled the virtues of pharma drugs to her (nothing against him, hes a good guy). i walk away feeling like a parent taking a 3 year old's cookies away after our vaccine "talks", which are more like me being berated and defending myself. it is really an illogical emotional attachment i am battling with here and it dosent make any sense. sometimes i feel im making progress but she wil not read anything i want to show her..i can read statistic after statistic and she will tell me they dont matter.

truthfully what this whole vaccination issue has made clear is that there is a definite lack of respect for me on her part. it is very insulting that she feels her uneducated, unresearched opinion is as good as mine...me having put in hours of reading on vaccines and studies, and i constantly remind her of this. Ive been shown that she believes i am too dumb/inadequate in some way on this issue. If i think of someone as a smart and respectable person, i will take an honest listen to what they have to say, simply because i know there intelligence and am interested in how they have reached their current thinking. i am not receiving this same respect. sorry for the rant, had to vent
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#27 of 30 Old 04-16-2009, 12:25 PM
 
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truthfully what this whole vaccination issue has made clear is that there is a definite lack of respect for me on her part. it is very insulting that she feels her uneducated, unresearched opinion is as good as mine...me having put in hours of reading on vaccines and studies, and i constantly remind her of this. Ive been shown that she believes i am too dumb/inadequate in some way on this issue. If i think of someone as a smart and respectable person, i will take an honest listen to what they have to say, simply because i know there intelligence and am interested in how they have reached their current thinking. i am not receiving this same respect. sorry for the rant, had to vent
This is the first thing I thought of when I read your first post. There definitely seems to be some respect issues with her shrugging off your concerns. I can't imagine treating my dh this way. Maybe you should talk to her about how she is making you feel when she treats you this way. She may not realize how important this is to you and how much you are concerned about it. I really hope that you can get through to her - both for baby and for your relationship

Mama to my charming little boy, born at home January '09
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#28 of 30 Old 04-16-2009, 01:22 PM
 
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yes you are right, there is definitely an emotional attachment to western medicine/drugs/doctors. she takes ADHD medicine and believes she can barely function without it (hasnt been taking it all pregnancy long and seems fine to me). she has a history involving medical services i would rather not go into detail about, plus her father was a psychologist. that is probably the biggest factor, her father being part of the medical establishment and probably has extolled the virtues of pharma drugs to her (nothing against him, hes a good guy).
You have a very, rough road to hoe. I hope you are really patient. Please keep in mind that this is your child is well. Personally, I would go very slow with it all. She is only going to shut down if you push too much. I would hope that as your relationship grows she will respect your opinion more and more.

In these types of situations, I simply try to lead by example. Reading information, staying healthy, making good decisions, staying strong, garnering respect. If she is that indoctrinated, she will look for any chink in the armor to rationalize and generalize that you don't know what you are talking about. This is going to take some time. The patience you will need, will help you be a better parent.

On a more positive note, you are having a child. Congrats.

Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation. - Oscar Wilde
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#29 of 30 Old 04-16-2009, 02:41 PM
 
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Would she watch The Brady Bunch? I think the episode where they all get the measles might show her how ridiculous some of the vaxes are. Maybe from there she might start to question a few more?
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#30 of 30 Old 04-17-2009, 05:57 PM
 
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yes you are right, there is definitely an emotional attachment to western medicine/drugs/doctors. she takes ADHD medicine and believes she can barely function without it (hasnt been taking it all pregnancy long and seems fine to me).
Good luck in trying to educate your wife and reach a consensus. I wanted to mention this because I happen to read something about ADHD that says that the symptoms of ADHD are often less during pregnancy because of the high estrogen levels during pregnancy...
And if she does have ADHD a lot of all of this may feel pretty overwhelming to her.
Help her create a powerful, beautiful, and supported birth and perhaps through the process of this the two of you will come to agree on more issues.

Jessica

Jessica..lady.gifintactlact.gif Falling in love all over again..... 
Dhprivateeyes.gif, Joshua rolleyes.gif Rebeccagrouphug.gifand dog2.gif.    candle.gif for Laura
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