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#31 of 48 Old 04-16-2009, 12:00 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Shnnnjrmy View Post
I am going to apply for WIC this morning and they say they need a shot record, well I dont have one because i have never vax my daughter, she is one now, and i am so afraid that if i go, they will start pumping her full of those crap filled injections that "may or may not" make her extremely sick. I am so confused...all I want to know is if i can just tell them "I dont want her vaccinated." or if they will try to take her from me, I am a young mom, and my boyfriends family are telling me that I have to do it, but my sister had a daughter that has never been vaccinated, and a son that got his until he was 10 months but she discontinued his because she researched what they put in them and she decided not to. If I can get a straight answer it would be so much help. I am frantic, and scared, and do not know enough information. i just want to do what is best for my daughter.
Because you are young (unmarried can affect people's perceptions of your competence too) people will often either assume you don't know what you are doing or will just take advantage of you. It doesn't take Supernanny to care for a baby; common sense will take you a long way so : to the ils.

Do you live with your bf's family? If not then I would minimize what you tell them about your parenting decisions.

YOU are the parent and YOU make the choices for your child. Just smile and nod to the busibodies then do what YOU want anyway.

Also, the Dr. is not your mommy/daddy/authority figure; they can't make you do boo. If you start feeling intimidated say (at least in your head) "screw you, I'm the parent!" I also advise against taking an unsupportive parent (like your mom or his mom) to Dr's visists.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You do not need a shot record (see post above).


You can watch this video on youtube:

Vaccines-The Risks, the Benefits, the Choices DVD, By Sherri J. TENPENNY
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7018835240451107552

"It should be a rule in all prophylactic work that no harm should ever be unnecessarily inflicted on a healthy person (Sir Graham Wilson, The Hazards of Immunization, 1967)."
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#32 of 48 Old 04-16-2009, 05:20 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Shnnnjrmy View Post
I am going to apply for WIC this morning and they say they need a shot record, well I dont have one because i have never vax my daughter, she is one now, and i am so afraid that if i go, they will start pumping her full of those crap filled injections that "may or may not" make her extremely sick. I am so confused...all I want to know is if i can just tell them "I dont want her vaccinated." or if they will try to take her from me, I am a young mom, and my boyfriends family are telling me that I have to do it, but my sister had a daughter that has never been vaccinated, and a son that got his until he was 10 months but she discontinued his because she researched what they put in them and she decided not to. If I can get a straight answer it would be so much help. I am frantic, and scared, and do not know enough information. i just want to do what is best for my daughter.
here is a link to missouri state vax requirements and EXEMPTIONS. You should be able to claim it is against your religious beliefs, even if you go on WIC, which I believe they can't force you to do anyway.

http://www.nvic.org/Vaccine-Laws/sta.../missuori.aspx

Mama to Ahnna-Bella (Dec 05) dust.gif, Harrison (Oct 08) kid.gif, and Kellan Wilder (Jan '12) baby.gif

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#33 of 48 Old 04-17-2009, 10:20 AM
 
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I don't think you should have to lie about your childs vax status to friends or family if they asked. Of course it is really none of their business, so if you wanted to lie you could. Im open with my family about it. They know our 17 month old has never been vaxed and we have no intentions of vaxing her anytime soon. Luckily my side of the family agrees with my decision, but the in-laws dont. Even though I know they think Im going about raising my DD the wrong way, I don't keep it from them. She is my child and I will do what I feel is best for her. At first they brought up the subject quite often, but I'd let my DH deal with them. Now that is has been 17months they don't bring it up as often, at least not to my face! I know they can't stand her not being vaxed, but I don't think I could stand her being vaxed!! My M-I-L said the same thing about the school thing.."She wont be able to get into Kindergarten"..Well, Id hate to think she couldnt! I tried to tell them about ex. forms, but they think Im stupid..I mean she already has a religious ex. form, but they still don't believe me! Just keep doing what you feel is best. If you want to tell them your child's vax status you can, and just tell them its not open for discussion anymore, you've made your decision and they need to respect that.
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#34 of 48 Old 04-17-2009, 02:48 PM
 
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yup, don't tell them. I have not even told DH. My big secret from DH and the rest of our family is that DS is not vaxed. I know that DH (and everybody else) would have a huge problem with not vaxing, and he may even force the issue, so I just don't tell him (or them). I take care of doctor stuff. It is actually the only big secret I have from DH, but I believe that it is in order to protect DSs health, so I think it is justified.
OMG, are you serious? We don't vax either but I really had to make sure DH was 100% on board with the risks and benefits that came along with that decision because they are his children too. Put yourself in your H's shoes, can you imagine how he'd feel if he found out? Especially since you say he'd "have a huge problem with not vaxing".

Imagine if the tables were turned and you found out he had been secretly vaxing behind your back despite knowing your feelings about vaxing? That would be grounds for divorce in my house.

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#35 of 48 Old 04-17-2009, 06:18 PM
 
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Imagine if the tables were turned and you found out he had been secretly vaxing behind your back despite knowing your feelings about vaxing? That would be grounds for divorce in my house.
Yeah, that. Intentionally hiding something like this from the child's father could get you in serious trouble.
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#36 of 48 Old 04-17-2009, 07:06 PM
 
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I wouldn't discuss it with anyone. I would also hand your SIL a vax exemption form for school so she can try to be educated if she insists on opening her mouth on the subject.

Jenn
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#37 of 48 Old 04-17-2009, 08:27 PM
 
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OMG, are you serious? We don't vax either but I really had to make sure DH was 100% on board with the risks and benefits that came along with that decision because they are his children too. Put yourself in your H's shoes, can you imagine how he'd feel if he found out? Especially since you say he'd "have a huge problem with not vaxing".

Imagine if the tables were turned and you found out he had been secretly vaxing behind your back despite knowing your feelings about vaxing? That would be grounds for divorce in my house.

I agree.
I asked dh how he would feel in that position and he said that it would really make him question the type of person he was married to.
You really should talk to him.
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#38 of 48 Old 04-22-2009, 06:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
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How did you make out? I don't know what WIC is. I live in Canada so maybe that's why. Hope everything went ok for you!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shnnnjrmy View Post
I am going to apply for WIC this morning and they say they need a shot record, well I dont have one because i have never vax my daughter, she is one now, and i am so afraid that if i go, they will start pumping her full of those crap filled injections that "may or may not" make her extremely sick. I am so confused...all I want to know is if i can just tell them "I dont want her vaccinated." or if they will try to take her from me, I am a young mom, and my boyfriends family are telling me that I have to do it, but my sister had a daughter that has never been vaccinated, and a son that got his until he was 10 months but she discontinued his because she researched what they put in them and she decided not to. If I can get a straight answer it would be so much help. I am frantic, and scared, and do not know enough information. i just want to do what is best for my daughter.
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#39 of 48 Old 04-23-2009, 04:26 PM
 
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I think you should tell people. The more this gets talked about, the more people will question the status-quo. It's important to keep an open dialogue about this kind of stuff. Also, I worry that by insulating yourself from dissenting views, you run the risk of becoming just as close minded as those who vaccinate without thinking. Am I coming off too strong? I don't mean to. I'm just saying that discussing things, even if it's uncomfortable to do so, is good for you, your points of view and others.

For the record, We're vaccinating slow and limited. But if it weren't for mommas like those in this forum, I may have just done all of them on the CDC schedule without thinking nearly as much about it. If we get pregnant again, I'm not sure how we'll handle it. And that's a direct effect from listening to people who i disagreed with vehemently in the beginning.

I totally get the "keep it from the family" stand. But you have to argue about something with don't you? Why not this?
I wish that more people would have the same opinions as you. I don't understand the whole non-vax thing and said some things that some took as a personal attack. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings but if people are not willing to talk about it how will those of us who don't know find out? I just have a different mindset as of right now and until I have places to find out things to understand this issue it may never change. Once I learn more, I could be one of you! I'm sorry for those of you who may have thought I was trying to hurt you or yours, I am trying to understand WHY you are doing or not doing this not attack you. Information is only good IF it is shared, researched, discussed, disagreed upon, etc....

Wife to DH who worshipsbow.gif me (code for tolerates me) (2001), mom of one DDsleepytime.gif (April 2002) and one DDfly-by-nursing1.gif who arrived forcefully (Sept 2009) Caretaker of Boogie the cat and fish/reef hobbyist. Just tryin' to maintain...banghead.gifteapot2.GIF In major need of...grouphug.gif

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#40 of 48 Old 04-23-2009, 04:51 PM
 
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I can understand the idea that talking about it is a good thing and that is the approach I use with friends and acquaintances.

But in-laws? Unsympathetic in-laws and other family who are never going to let up on you about it? Not worth the hassle! I have found it much easier not to mention it. And if it does come up, as in, "How did baby handle his shots?" there's nothing wrong with, "He didn't have any problems at all with shots!"
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#41 of 48 Old 04-23-2009, 05:09 PM
 
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I think you should tell people. The more this gets talked about, the more people will question the status-quo. It's important to keep an open dialogue about this kind of stuff. Also, I worry that by insulating yourself from dissenting views, you run the risk of becoming just as close minded as those who vaccinate without thinking. Am I coming off too strong? I don't mean to. I'm just saying that discussing things, even if it's uncomfortable to do so, is good for you, your points of view and others.

For the record, We're vaccinating slow and limited. But if it weren't for mommas like those in this forum, I may have just done all of them on the CDC schedule without thinking nearly as much about it. If we get pregnant again, I'm not sure how we'll handle it. And that's a direct effect from listening to people who i disagreed with vehemently in the beginning.

I totally get the "keep it from the family" stand. But you have to argue about something with don't you? Why not this?
If may be good for YOU but don't make assumptions about everyone else thankyouverymuch.

I don't know where to begin. Family politics can be delicate. Who wants to constantly do battle with their family!? particularly when you are still discussing it with your partner.

It is easy to bring it up on mothering as it is heavily moderated, but bringing it up on my other mommy site takes a suit of armor so heavy that I usually avoid having to put it on.

This topic is up there with religion and politics. Some people cannot discuss, but immediately call for your child's removal by CPS, wonder what idiot would want their child to die, or berate you for not searching "for a ped you can trust", then doing everything they tell you. If you are not quick on your feet, or do not express yourself well, then whether you have made a reasoned decision is called into question.

Family can make EVERY encounter about your parenting decisions. You can be made the focus of family chain mail, the topic of discussion at family dinners, cornered by any family member that is remotely connected to the medical industry, be the victim of family passive-aggressive hell "well, excuse me if I don't want my grandchild to die."

I know plenty of non-vaxers who have lost friends, their children have been kept from friends due to their vax status being public.

And no, we don't argue with the family over anything at gatherings; that's not why we are there.

"It should be a rule in all prophylactic work that no harm should ever be unnecessarily inflicted on a healthy person (Sir Graham Wilson, The Hazards of Immunization, 1967)."
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#42 of 48 Old 04-23-2009, 05:34 PM
 
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I tell people..if they have a problem with it, tough. If they are uneducated enough to think that my kid would give them some 'disease' because he's not vaccinated, then that is their problem. I also tell people because it's good to give them another possibility to consider. I mean they may not do anything with it, but maybe that will prod them to listen to more news stories if they hear them about vaccines and autism, vaccine damage, etc.

I did a lot of research on this and other issues, and I can't respect the opinion of those who just believe what their pharmaceutical peddling doctors tell them. It's one thing to do a lot of independent research and form an opinion, and it's another to just believe everything a doctor tells you and pass that off as the absolute authority.

Plus reading about links between DDT exposure and polio outbreaks, as well as agent orange and this avian flu virus...things are starting to fall into place about some of these 'disease epidemics' that have happened.

Some people would never change their opinions no matter what, while others will actually listen to other opinions. You have to figure out who's who and act accordingly. My one aunt..she's really nice and generous, but you can't tell her anything..she thinks she knows it ALL..lol! Even without researching any of it. Some people you just can't talk to, others you can.

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#43 of 48 Old 04-24-2009, 07:22 PM
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I tell everyone! Of course I do that with a lot of things. My mother says I should have been a litigator because I love to spout my opinion!

When I talk to people who don't agree with me who (invariably) know nothing about the topic - I use the socratic method and ask questions that point out they don't know anything.

Did you have a diptheria shot in the last 10 years?
If the vaccine works then why do you think your child will get it?
Don't you think that adults are part of this human "herd"?
Why do you think a healthy infant needs a vaccination against a sexually transmitted disease?
How many people did you know that died from chicken pox?

or I start the "did you read the study..."

That clams people up.
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#44 of 48 Old 05-08-2009, 04:01 PM
 
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I tell everyone! Of course I do that with a lot of things. My mother says I should have been a litigator because I love to spout my opinion!

When I talk to people who don't agree with me who (invariably) know nothing about the topic - I use the socratic method and ask questions that point out they don't know anything.

Did you have a diptheria shot in the last 10 years?
If the vaccine works then why do you think your child will get it?
Don't you think that adults are part of this human "herd"?
Why do you think a healthy infant needs a vaccination against a sexually transmitted disease?
How many people did you know that died from chicken pox?

or I start the "did you read the study..."

That clams people up.
I LOVE your way of handling people! I'll have to do that instead! Great idea! I usually get all discombobulated that I forget what I know.

Circ doesn't work! Stop the violence of circumcison. Had another UP/UC/HB in August!
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#45 of 48 Old 05-08-2009, 05:20 PM
 
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Don't tell them.
That works for me. If they push further, I just say "I am comfortable with the schedule that my pediatrician and I agreed on and it is a private matter that I do not wish to discuss."

I live in a very pro-vax area so people just assume that ds is vaxed according to the CDC schedule and usually don't ask.

I had a similar experience with birthing my baby unassisted. It's a very small town so when people asked me if I was using Midwife A or Midwife B I just growled that I had never heard anything bad about Midwife A and I didn't want to hear a bunch of slanderous lies. They backed off right away.

Of course I'm a hypocrite, because if everybody handled it the way I did I wouldn't have known that i could UC or refuse vaxes so i would have been C sectioned because of my age and ds would have been given a vax against a sexually transmitted disease before I ever laid eyes on him.
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#46 of 48 Old 05-08-2009, 07:02 PM
 
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That works for me. If they push further, I just say "I am comfortable with the schedule that my pediatrician and I agreed on and it is a private matter that I do not wish to discuss."

I live in a very pro-vax area so people just assume that ds is vaxed according to the CDC schedule and usually don't ask.

I had a similar experience with birthing my baby unassisted. It's a very small town so when people asked me if I was using Midwife A or Midwife B I just growled that I had never heard anything bad about Midwife A and I didn't want to hear a bunch of slanderous lies. They backed off right away.

Of course I'm a hypocrite, because if everybody handled it the way I did I wouldn't have known that i could UC or refuse vaxes so i would have been C sectioned because of my age and ds would have been given a vax against a sexually transmitted disease before I ever laid eyes on him.
Aww- well I wouldn't call you a hypocrite. It's not as if you're walking around lying and saying that you vax your kids fully. People are going to assume that you go w/ the flow/do the norm- and I honestly think most people are happier that way.
MOST people i know/am friends with- I could tell them everything I know and believe and while they might agree w/ my right to believe- they still wouldnt choose what I choose- so I dont see my not bringing it up when we're together really making a big difference.
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#47 of 48 Old 05-16-2009, 12:45 PM
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I too get all flustered when I need to defend my decision not to vax. Even though I feel I KNOW my stuff, and have looked into it over many years.

Yet on homebirth or homeschooling I'mtotally fine. Hmmm . . .


I agree that if more people talk about it, more may question the practice, or at least research it more so they are making informed consent.

As to the comment that 'how will others learn why we don't vax if we don't tell them?". You could also go read the books we read.

If I wanted to earn about something, I'd go find the info, not make others go through something (unless they offer/are fine with it.) so I can 'get educated'.

Passionate posts = oodles of typos
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#48 of 48 Old 05-16-2009, 05:28 PM
 
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Don't tell them.
The very best advice.
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