My kids aren't vaxed so I can't babysit. - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 35 Old 02-24-2010, 12:41 AM - Thread Starter
 
Grace and Granola's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Saint Louis, MO
Posts: 1,595
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
So, I have this friend at church. She's several years younger than me and had her first baby last year. A few months before her baby was born, we were at a women's brunch, she very casually mentioned that she heard there were a few families at church who don't vax. She wasn't saying it to be gossippy and she didn't sound alarmed. It was just like, she is in that time of her pregnancy where she's thinking about those things. So, I mentioned that we are one of those families. Not the time or place for a huge conversation. She acknowledged my statement and we moved on.

So, this friend was talking about needing childcare when she returned to work. I was interested, and we talked details. Days, rate, everything.

So, now that it's time for her to need childcare, and she sent me an email stating that she and her husband talked and think that their ideas on certain aspects of raising children differ a little bit than our family's ideas. They don't think their way is the end all be all, but they do think their decision is right for their son.

At first, I panicked! Like, OMG what do I do to my children that is so terrible! It took me a minute to realize she was talking about vaxing.

So, really, is this common? Am I missing something? Should I "warn" the other two families I babysit for that we don't vax? Do you think this woman came up with this idea that we are unsafe on her own, or is this advice she's gotten from a doctor or friend? If it makes any difference, her baby is now 8 months and my kids are 3 and 4.

I am just so Stuff like this makes me want to run away and live on an island.

ETA: In a follow up email, my friend made it clear that the "parenting differences" she was referring to was about not vaxing.

Heather-- I'm a <>< SAHM of two fabulous boys 8/05 and 2/07
Grace and Granola is offline  
#2 of 35 Old 02-24-2010, 12:56 AM
 
pauletoy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Alabama
Posts: 1,128
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I would chalk it up to her choice and move on. At least she was honest with you about it. I actually respect her for contacting you directly instead of just avoiding you. Maybe there were other things she observed or stood out to her in a conversation with you that didn't seem that important to you but were important to her.

For me, I would want to know the vac status of someone babysitting my children. But if the other families haven't asked maybe they don't care.

Wife of 20 years to my superhero firefighting DH. SAHM to 2 boys and 2 girls (3 babies in Heaven- Baby # 5 5/2010 & Baby #6 8/2011 & Baby # 7 2/1013). Cancer Survivor 2011 ( Persistent Malignant Gestational Trophoblastic Disease)

pauletoy is offline  
#3 of 35 Old 02-24-2010, 02:53 AM
 
just_lily's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,187
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I would say yes, it is normal. No, it isn't rational. And no, I don't think you need to tell your other families unless they ask.

I have five families that I provide care for, and nobody has ever asked me about our vax status. I certainly don't hide anything, and would be completely upfront if they ask. One mom does know now, as it just came up in conversation during the H1N1 panic.

To me the whole thing makes no sense - like if vaccines work so great, why does it matter who is vaxed around you? But at the same time, I support an individual's right to choose who they want looking after their child for whatever reasons they like - rational or otherwise.

To be perfectly honest, I think you probably dodged a bullet here.

Wife to DH (06/10) and Mummy to DD (07/08).

just_lily is offline  
#4 of 35 Old 02-24-2010, 05:01 AM
 
Addy's Mom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Here and Now
Posts: 311
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I vax my child, but I find your friend's decision to be a bit odd. But maybe that's because I live in an area where a lot of people either don't vax or selectively/delay vax. So we are pretty used to it.

Does her child have any underlying health issues? My son, for instance, had reactive airway disorder at that age and any type of cold landed him in a hospital with breathing issues. If I were her, I might be a bit concerned about the older kids bringing home everyday run-of-the-mill viruses from preschool or elementary school, but I wouldn't be concerned with their vax status. But I also believe in herd immunity. Maybe she doesn't.

In any event, putting her child in any type of day care other than hiring a nanny is most likely going to expose her child to other kids. She can't be asking vax status on all of them forever.

I'm sorry this has caused stress for you. You haven't done anything wrong, and IMO, have no obligation to 'warn' other families about your kids' vax status.
Addy's Mom is offline  
#5 of 35 Old 02-24-2010, 05:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
Grace and Granola's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Saint Louis, MO
Posts: 1,595
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilyoftheincas13 View Post
So I'm new to the whole researching the vaccination thing and there's just one thing I don't get...are people who vaccinate their children really scared of children who aren't vaccinated? If their kid is covered by a vaccination, what do they have to be scared of?

Am i missing something?
This is my point exactly. I am not ultra-knowledgeable about everything surrounding vaccinations. I did my research five years ago, made a decision, and pretty much left that behind us. So, I have no understanding of where this logic comes from or if there is some prevailing theory out there that supports my friend's decision.

Heather-- I'm a <>< SAHM of two fabulous boys 8/05 and 2/07
Grace and Granola is offline  
#6 of 35 Old 02-24-2010, 05:30 PM
 
dachshundqueen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: SoCal Dreaming
Posts: 2,052
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Either way, you both have your own right to make parenting decisions regarding your own children.

Would I be angry? No. Irritated? No. Discontinue the friendship over it? Probably not, unless I started to get lots of emails with details about why she thinks my parenting methods are sub-par.

Honestly, I'd let it go.

Best,

Liz

Wife, and mother to a small fairy, a demolition expert, a special new someone this fall and a small dachshund.
dachshundqueen is offline  
#7 of 35 Old 02-24-2010, 05:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
Grace and Granola's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Saint Louis, MO
Posts: 1,595
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Ok, maybe I'm just sensitive about this because it's really the first time I've been faced with opposition about my choice. And the logic just doesn't make sense to me.

I'm not angry and I won't end our friendship. I support people's right to make the choice to vax and I don't look down on her for vaxing.

Heather-- I'm a <>< SAHM of two fabulous boys 8/05 and 2/07
Grace and Granola is offline  
#8 of 35 Old 02-24-2010, 05:42 PM
 
Marnica's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,585
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
totally flawed logic on her part, but she is entitled to that flawed logic.

You could let it go, or educate her, not in an attempt to let you babysit, but in an attempt to impart knowledge. If you did do this I certainly wouldn't do it now, later after the dust has settled. This however would probably not be met with any sort of appreciation on her part....

If the people let government decide what foods they eat and what medicines they take, their bodies will soon be in as sorry a state as are the souls of those who live under tyranny." Thomas Jefferson.

Marnica is offline  
#9 of 35 Old 02-24-2010, 05:47 PM
 
pauletoy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Alabama
Posts: 1,128
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I agree it doesn't make sense but it is something she is uncomfortable with. She may not even know why she is uncomfortable with it. It just is what it is. I wouldn't take it as a slight on your decisions, she obviously respects you enough to give you a reason (although vague). She could have just avoided you. I don't think you are going to be able to make sense out of it. Wasn't Dr. Phil who said "You can't make sense out of nonsense."

Wife of 20 years to my superhero firefighting DH. SAHM to 2 boys and 2 girls (3 babies in Heaven- Baby # 5 5/2010 & Baby #6 8/2011 & Baby # 7 2/1013). Cancer Survivor 2011 ( Persistent Malignant Gestational Trophoblastic Disease)

pauletoy is offline  
#10 of 35 Old 02-24-2010, 06:12 PM
 
MountainMamaGC's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,055
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 8 Post(s)
Well she must not have very much faith in her vaccines. I wouldnt pay any attention to it.

Me(33), Mama to a crazy DD (6), Wife to a wonderful mountain man(32) BF my babe for 2 years.
MountainMamaGC is offline  
#11 of 35 Old 02-24-2010, 06:16 PM
 
Sharlla's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Springfield Mo
Posts: 12,042
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
But they vax right? so how are you a "potential health risk" to them?

Unassisted birthing, atheist, poly, bi WOHM to 4 wonderful, smart homeschooling kids Wes (14) Seth (7) Pandora Moonlilly (2) and Nevermore Stargazer (11/2012)  Married to awesome SAH DH.

Sharlla is offline  
#12 of 35 Old 02-24-2010, 06:31 PM
 
crunchy_mommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 6,501
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I know quite a few people with this same mentality. They see non-vaxed kids as a threat to their (fully-vaxed) kids... which IMO doesn't make any sense at all if they truly think vaxes work, so go figure!!!! I'd actually be more nervous about having a recently-vaxed-and-possibly-shedding kid near my own kid... But anyway. I'd say just move on, find another family to do childcare for. I wouldn't necessarily mention your kids' vax status to anyone else though... it doesn't seem relevant to me & I wouldn't share any medical information with anyone but DS's doc & maybe very close friends/family.

Co-sleeping is really wonderful when your child actually SLEEPS!! familybed1.gif
crunchy_mommy is offline  
#13 of 35 Old 02-24-2010, 06:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
Grace and Granola's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Saint Louis, MO
Posts: 1,595
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by crunchy_mommy View Post
I'd actually be more nervous about having a recently-vaxed-and-possibly-shedding kid near my own kid...

Thank you for mentioning this...I think I need to start another thread about this to get clarification! I had totally forgot about that aspect of my babysitting vaxed kids.

Heather-- I'm a <>< SAHM of two fabulous boys 8/05 and 2/07
Grace and Granola is offline  
#14 of 35 Old 02-24-2010, 06:59 PM
 
Crafty's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 168
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
which IMO doesn't make any sense at all if they truly think vaxes work, so go figure!!!
Not all people 'take' to the vaxes, though- just like any other medical treatment, they're not going to be 100% effective 100% of the time. If I take ibuprofen for a splitting headache, most of the time the headache goes away. Sometimes it doesn't. Maybe there are people out there for whom ibuprofen does nothing. Two people get the same kind of cancer. One person does a round of chemo, and the cancer goes into remission and is never seen again. Another person does a round of chemo...and radiation, and surgery, and still dies anyway. Different people sometimes react differently.

Heck, I had a dog who didn't 'take' to the Lyme vaccine, no matter how many times he was vaccinated. We lived in a Lyme-heavy area, and while the vaccines worked well for other dogs, my dog was in the minority and it wasn't effective for him (he got Lyme three times before we moved away and it was really hard on him. I'd never heard a dog scream before that...). Perhaps that's the mindset the OP's friends are going off of.
Crafty is offline  
#15 of 35 Old 02-24-2010, 07:13 PM
 
Kerimommyof2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 48
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I havnt read all replys..but i just wanted to say that ..If it were me,I would have been more offended that it was my parenting style that made her not want her child near me the my vaccination staues
I mean okay,I get how most people dont understand about diseas vaccines ect..so i get how a new mom could be scared with a dr whispering in her ears kwim
but i personally would let it go and move on....
and i would probally let people i baby sit for know my vax stautes...not because your a danger to them but because they should let you know when they vaccinate with a live virus vaccines so that you can protect your children
jmo

Keri
Non-Vax~No-Circ~T4L-Homeschooler~co-sleep~EBF~"Crunchy" SAHM to DD &DS
Kerimommyof2 is offline  
#16 of 35 Old 02-28-2010, 11:43 PM
 
member234098's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Behind you.
Posts: 3,348
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

.

member234098 is offline  
#17 of 35 Old 03-01-2010, 12:01 AM - Thread Starter
 
Grace and Granola's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Saint Louis, MO
Posts: 1,595
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by miriam View Post
Now you know why some people never discuss vaccines in polite conversation, the same as religion and politics.
Ha! I learned my lesson, that's for sure!

Heather-- I'm a <>< SAHM of two fabulous boys 8/05 and 2/07
Grace and Granola is offline  
#18 of 35 Old 03-01-2010, 12:29 AM
 
RiverSky's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Paradise
Posts: 7,280
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Heatherb917 View Post
ETA: In a follow up email, my friend made it clear that the "parenting differences" she was referring to was about not vaxing.
Are you just going to leave us hanging or are you going to tell us what parenting differences she was talking about?

RiverSky is offline  
#19 of 35 Old 03-01-2010, 12:48 AM - Thread Starter
 
Grace and Granola's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Saint Louis, MO
Posts: 1,595
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by RiverSky View Post
Are you just going to leave us hanging or are you going to tell us what parenting differences she was talking about?

Oh, I'm sorry, I thought it was clear:

In a follow up email, my friend made it clear that the "parenting differences" she was referring to was about not vaxing.


Our non-vax status is the only issue. sorry for the confusion!

Heather-- I'm a <>< SAHM of two fabulous boys 8/05 and 2/07
Grace and Granola is offline  
#20 of 35 Old 03-01-2010, 12:56 AM
 
claddaghmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 4,074
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by zinemama View Post
Yes, you are missing something. People are worried about a kid who is too young to receive a certain vaccine catching a VPD from an unvaccinated child. Say your 5yo gets measles and passes it on to a baby who won't get the MMR till age 1. That kind of thing. I'm a delayed/selective type myself, but I think this is a valid point.

OP, I'd chalk this up to a lesson learned about sharing personal medical decisions with people who don't need to know them, and move on.
Yeah, I think if the parent is fully vaccinated and up to date, and fully vaccinates their kids, and keeps them away from other kids, vaxed or not, that they are being at least consistent in trying to protect their family from their fear.

The catch here is that whenever this argument comes up, only the vaccine free people are feared. This is why I Kids who are vaccinated, and adults who were vaccinated, are certainly disease carriers. And if they were recently vaccinated w/ a few specific things, I'd say they are definitely more of a carrier than someone in the general population.


OP, I'm pretty snarky, so I'd probably reply with something like, "Oh, don't worry! Your baby is 8 months old so she hasn't received anything lately. She can't transmit any of her vaccine-diseases to me or my family. But I appreciate your concern."

Mama to expecting Babe 2
claddaghmom is offline  
#21 of 35 Old 03-01-2010, 01:08 AM
 
Kailey's mom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,886
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by claddaghmom View Post


OP, I'm pretty snarky, so I'd probably reply with something like, "Oh, don't worry! Your baby is 8 months old so she hasn't received anything lately. She can't transmit any of her vaccine-diseases to me or my family. But I appreciate your concern."
I like this! I'm making a mental note incase I run into someone who could benefit

familybed1.gifnovaxnocirc.gif nut.gifMommy to my amazing 6 yr old dd, we homeschool.gif, and  27 weeks belly.gifpuke.gifand have been sick the whole time so far, grrrrr!!!!!!!

Kailey's mom is offline  
#22 of 35 Old 03-01-2010, 01:12 AM
 
lilmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 859
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yeah, I'm sorry to say I think this is a fairly common line of thought. At our former church, we had a family tell us that they would not allow their kids to play with our DS, because he was unvaxed. They were THAT afraid.

And that if he was going to be in the church nursery, they would volunteer in there so that they could be sure that our child did not cough/sneeze/touch their child. Argh.

Sorry this happened to you. We have learned our lesson about telling our vax status unneccessarily.
lilmom is offline  
#23 of 35 Old 03-01-2010, 01:12 AM - Thread Starter
 
Grace and Granola's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Saint Louis, MO
Posts: 1,595
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by claddaghmom View Post

OP, I'm pretty snarky, so I'd probably reply with something like, "Oh, don't worry! Your baby is 8 months old so she hasn't received anything lately. She can't transmit any of her vaccine-diseases to me or my family. But I appreciate your concern."


I am so not snarky, but I would totally appreciate hearing you say that to someone!!

Heather-- I'm a <>< SAHM of two fabulous boys 8/05 and 2/07
Grace and Granola is offline  
#24 of 35 Old 03-01-2010, 01:15 AM - Thread Starter
 
Grace and Granola's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Saint Louis, MO
Posts: 1,595
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilmom View Post
Yeah, I'm sorry to say I think this is a fairly common line of thought. At our former church, we had a family tell us that they would not allow their kids to play with our DS, because he was unvaxed. They were THAT afraid.

And that if he was going to be in the church nursery, they would volunteer in there so that they could be sure that our child did not cough/sneeze/touch their child. Argh.

Sorry this happened to you. We have learned our lesson about telling our vax status unneccessarily.
This reminded me.....after we emailed about me not babysitting, and she clarified it was the vax issue, in the very next paragraph, she said something about not wanting to this to hurt our friendship and we should get together WITH ALL THE KIDS sometime soon.

So, what, is it like we can play for short amounts of time, but her baby can't be around my kids for too long? I understand her fears, but not her logic!

Heather-- I'm a <>< SAHM of two fabulous boys 8/05 and 2/07
Grace and Granola is offline  
#25 of 35 Old 03-01-2010, 03:11 AM
 
abharrington's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 723
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
2 friends of mine with boys the same age...one vaxed and the other didn't. they went to the same in home daycare. when the vaxer found out she demaned the non-vaxer vax immediately and when she declined, the vaxer pulled her son from the daycare. some people are just irrational. sorry OP...thats crummy.

amanda... lovin' my dh since 2004 and mama to dd (3), ds (18 months) and expecting someone new Oct 2010.
abharrington is offline  
#26 of 35 Old 03-01-2010, 11:24 AM
 
bandgeek's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 2,406
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm pretty petty so I'd probably write her back and say, "I understand. We'll be sure to keep our distance since it makes you nervous." And then sit across the room from her at church.
bandgeek is offline  
#27 of 35 Old 03-01-2010, 03:27 PM
 
crunchy_mommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 6,501
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by zinemama View Post
Of course most of these diseases aren't circulating like wildfire! I'm trying to explain why it makes sense to the mother of the baby not to have her infant around a bunch of unvaxed kids. If she thinks these diseases are circulating widely then of course she'd want to keep her unvaccinated infant away from the OP's kids.
Yeah I get what you're saying. I just don't really understand how they can be THAT afraid... All I can think of is when DS's former pedi wanted us to vax and he said things like "100 kids a year have died from chicken pox" and all I could think is how many kids probably die from the vax etc. and how 100 people, while certainly tragic, is only like 0.00003% of the US population, and most only get an itchy rash. It's really hard for me to understand how someone can be afraid of those odds when over 40,000 people die in car crashes each year yet most people aren't keeping their kids home & away from people who drive...

Co-sleeping is really wonderful when your child actually SLEEPS!! familybed1.gif
crunchy_mommy is offline  
#28 of 35 Old 03-01-2010, 03:36 PM
 
carmel23's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 5,218
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Heatherb917 View Post
Ok, maybe I'm just sensitive about this because it's really the first time I've been faced with opposition about my choice. And the logic just doesn't make sense to me.

I'm not angry and I won't end our friendship. I support people's right to make the choice to vax and I don't look down on her for vaxing.
Hi, OP--I'm not posting this to enter the vaccination vs. refusing to vaccinate debate. I'm posting to maybe explain why your friend doesn't want you to watch her baby.

The one illness that is very dangerous for infants that does have outbreaks-- and from my personal observation of my unvaccinating friends,-- is pertussis. Yes this is anecdotal, but maybe it will help you understand your friend's concern. I've seen pertussis outbreaks in both of the states I've lived in, and it is very scary as a parent of an infant. 75 percent of babies under one who have pertussis are hospitalized.

So when I have an infant, I absolutely minimize contact with my un-vaccinating friends. Because it has been my experience that there is more likely to be an outbreak of pertussis with those friends.

I respect their choice to not vaccinate, but I also recognize that it is my responsibility and choice to protect my baby. Sure, it might not be based totally on reason, and statistics, but its like insurance. We don't insure our house against fire because there is a large probability that it will burn down, but rather in the off chance that it does happen. So in one sense, paying all that money for fire insurance is not rational. But we do it anyway, because the benefit *in the off chance that our house does burn down* outweighs the probability that it won't catch fire.

I think you should just try to respect your friend's choice, as it sounds like she is respecting yours.

 hh2.gif  ~~~~~~~~~~hh2.gif
 

carmel23 is offline  
#29 of 35 Old 03-01-2010, 03:45 PM
 
crunchy_mommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 6,501
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by carmel23 View Post
Hi, OP--I'm not posting this to enter the vaccination vs. refusing to vaccinate debate. I'm posting to maybe explain why your friend doesn't want you to watch her baby.

The one illness that is very dangerous for infants that does have outbreaks-- and from my personal observation of my unvaccinating friends,-- is pertussis. Yes this is anecdotal, but maybe it will help you understand your friend's concern. I've seen pertussis outbreaks in both of the states I've lived in, and it is very scary as a parent of an infant. 75 percent of babies under one who have pertussis are hospitalized.

So when I have an infant, I absolutely minimize contact with my un-vaccinating friends. Because it has been my experience that there is more likely to be an outbreak of pertussis with those friends.
But the pertussis vax doesn't prevent transmission. What this means is that fully-vaccinated kids can still be carriers of pertussis and you'd never even know it. I think that is MORE risky to an infant, because the vaxed kids are more likely to be asymptomatic, whereas unvaxed kids are more likely to have symptoms which would be a "red flag" to stay away from them until they're recovered.

Co-sleeping is really wonderful when your child actually SLEEPS!! familybed1.gif
crunchy_mommy is offline  
#30 of 35 Old 03-01-2010, 05:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
Grace and Granola's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Saint Louis, MO
Posts: 1,595
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by carmel23 View Post

I think you should just try to respect your friend's choice, as it sounds like she is respecting yours.
Respecting my friend's choice is not an issue. Of course I respect her choice. I realize that most people are not educated about vaccines and that they trust their doctor's advice. I posted because I honestly did not realize this would be a problem, ie. Yes, I will have playdates with you, but no, you cannot watch my kid every day. That's all. I was just surprised.

Heather-- I'm a <>< SAHM of two fabulous boys 8/05 and 2/07
Grace and Granola is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off