Ugh, Broke Down Under Family Pressure..now he's got one set done - Mothering Forums

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Old 07-01-2010, 11:27 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh man, well when I moved out to Toronto, I received alot of pressure and criticism from my family (well, more than usual) about subjecting my son to a big city with vaccinations. But, up until then, my 8 month old was doing fine! I lived in a rural community but from when he was 9 weeks old, he was at a baby group with children from birth to 6 years every week, numerous times a week. Any time he got sick, (He's had 3 colds since he was born) it was from visiting the city and being around sick adults. So i was worried he would get sick from being around "new germs" My sil is a nurse and apparently talked to my mom urging me to change my decision, she's worked at after hours childrens clinic 2 blocks away from my apt. and did see cases of the vaccine diseases in unvaxed children. I dont know....i just really started to question it, a city houses ppl from all over the world, flying in and i thought he would be at a higher risk. Of course my doctor was thrilled, every well baby visit I get a talk about not. However, at the 8 month visit, i went ahead and he had his doses, i mean he didnt freak out, hes a tough cookie but i felt like poop. i tried to make myself feel better by thinking the right thing, my family was sooo happy i got him his shots. I thought for a little while, i should continue, an alternative schedule was set up but i will not be continuing!!! Im back in a rural area and after all the human right violations at the G20 summit from the police and the government secrets, i was reminded, " oh yea! thats why im not vaxing..governments are paid spokespersons." I feel bad i put my son at risk, i thought i was doing a good thing, but I am glad i came back to my senses and he's getting no more poison!!


I was wondering, have any of you moms broke down and had a shot given or came close? I guess i feel so bad, i want to know that I wasnt the only one.

and does this mean i am no longer a "no vax" mom?

A Toronto born young mama blowkiss.giffreshly moved for a new adventure in ALBERTA! with Superdaddy superhero.gifand her intact and vax free, breastfed and babyworn Aug09 babenono02.gif attending college for early childhood educationwhale.gif   and being blessed with #2 just in time for Valentines Dayheartbeat.gif pos.gif

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Old 07-01-2010, 12:07 PM
 
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I'm sorry you felt that you had to appease your family. There is no worse kind of pressure

Just remeber YOU are his mother!!! it is YOUR choice no matter what. Stand strong. I also don't think living in a city vs the country should be a defining factor in why you vax or don't vax.

Don't let it get you down. Just remind yourself why you didn't vax in the first place and tune out all the noise from your family. At the end of the day, it's your responsibility alone.

If the people let government decide what foods they eat and what medicines they take, their bodies will soon be in as sorry a state as are the souls of those who live under tyranny." Thomas Jefferson.

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Old 07-01-2010, 12:59 PM
 
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Yes, you are no longer allowed in the non-vax group

I vaccinated my first child according the schedule and anything else my dr. suggested. He was lucky and never had any reactions. He only had a few left to get when I stopped vaccinating. My 2nd child got many less.

With my 3rd child, I was sure that I was a non-vaxxer, no questions. But, I had so many people say "well, you have to get polio...I remember polio, it was aweful...yada yada." So, researching, I found that the polio vaccine is one of the least reactive ones, so I decided at his 6 mo. appt. to get it. At his 9month appt. My naturapath who I loved really pushed the dtap. Both her husband and daughter had had pertussis and she was really scared of it. So, I caved and got that vaccine for him thinking that he'd be fine since it was his only vaccine. He screamed for 2 days non-stop. I bet his head hurt soo much
Anyway, since then (2005) none of my kids has had any vaccines. But every once in awhile, I start to feel vulnerable and question my decisions.
We always have to do the best we can for our kids. We do with what we know.

Your real problem is your family's involvement in your parenting. YOu really need some better boundaries. I would suggest assertiveness training. I love the book "Your perfect right." It freed me up so much when I read that book. I'm sure there are other books about assertiveness that are just as great, but when I read that book, the concepts were so foreign to me that I just couldn't put it down. "You mean I don't have to apologize for not being perfect?" "You mean, I can make up my own mind without needing permission from my friends?" "I don't have to justify my decisions??" Crazy talk!

But look on the bright side. He may have some immunity to those diseases now. One shot is often enough for immunity in about 80% of the population. The boosters are just to catch the rest who may need more.

Our children make a study of us in a way no one else ever will.  If we don't act according to our values, they will know.~Starhawk Rainbow.gif  New  User Agreement! http://www.mothering.com/community/wiki/user-agreement

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Old 07-01-2010, 01:19 PM
 
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You could dump a bunch of vaccine research in her lap and then tell her you are willing to discuss it when she had read it all.

Or, you can say that you are not willing to discuss the topic of vaccination with her and will end any conversation in which she brings it up.


You can give her the info below.


1. Name of the disease
2. Description of the disease
3. Length of time from initial infection to end of all symptoms
4. Infectious period
5. Normal symptoms of the disease
6. Known serious consequences of the disease
7. Proportion of persons infected developing serious consequences
8. Transmission route of the disease
9. Prevalence of the disease
10. Treatments of the disease and efficacy of those treatments
11. Relevant research about the disease
12. Name of the vaccine
13. Company that makes the vaccine
14. Contents of the vaccine
14A. The significance of whether or not the vaccine is live
15. History of development of the vaccine
16. Known side-effects of the vaccine and rate of incidence of those side-effects
17. Possible side-effects not yet acknowledged by the vaccine maker
18. Relevant research into the vaccine
19. How effective is the vaccine at preventing the disease?
20.What is the vaccine meant to do? (Many vaccines are not meant to prevent infection or transmission).
21.Number of cases reported each year.
22.Number of deaths reported each year from the vaccine and natural disease.

Here are some sources to help you out:

Vaccines: The Risks, The Benefits, The Choices 1/18DVD, By Sherri J. TENPENNY


http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/mmwr_wk.html (download the current issue)
http://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/pubs/pin...k-chapters.htm
http://vaers.hhs.gov/pdf/PackageInserts.pdf
http://video.google.com/videoplay?do...40451107552&q=
http://video.google.com/videoplay?do...87981735&hl=en
http://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/pubs/pin...ses&deaths.pdf

Health Sentinel Graphs

WHO GRAPH

Vaccine Injury Table


Beyond Conformity Resources Page
Do you have a quick-fire summary?

Inside Vaccines

Mothering: Ending the War on Disease
http://www.mothering.com/health/heal...m-just-growing


"It should be a rule in all prophylactic work that no harm should ever be unnecessarily inflicted on a healthy person (Sir Graham Wilson, The Hazards of Immunization, 1967)."
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Old 07-01-2010, 02:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chaoticzenmom View Post

Your real problem is your family's involvement in your parenting. YOu really need some better boundaries. I would suggest assertiveness training. I love the book "Your perfect right." It freed me up so much when I read that book. I'm sure there are other books about assertiveness that are just as great, but when I read that book, the concepts were so foreign to me that I just couldn't put it down. "You mean I don't have to apologize for not being perfect?" "You mean, I can make up my own mind without needing permission from my friends?" "I don't have to justify my decisions??" Crazy talk!
wow,sounds just like me! i cant say no, and if i do, i feel guilty as anything. thank you for the suggestion, ive been looking for a good read

A Toronto born young mama blowkiss.giffreshly moved for a new adventure in ALBERTA! with Superdaddy superhero.gifand her intact and vax free, breastfed and babyworn Aug09 babenono02.gif attending college for early childhood educationwhale.gif   and being blessed with #2 just in time for Valentines Dayheartbeat.gif pos.gif

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Old 07-09-2010, 04:03 PM
 
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I just didn't even discuss it with them, why get people all worked up over something that is none of their business. I'm the parent, I make the decisions.
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Old 07-09-2010, 05:40 PM
 
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Your family wouldn't have gotten to you though if you hadn't been afraid of the 'city' and those people from 'all over'. (there's a little prejudice in that viewpoint, I think.)
It comes down to where you put your faith. It is scary not to vax sometimes because you are taking responsibility for your child's health. Not the CDC, not your SIL, not the pediatrician, but just you making the final decision.

I was, as the above poster, a progressive non-vaxer. My first vaccinated almost on schedule...my second delayed (got polio first) then talked into others one by one...my third completely un-vaxed. The more I researched, the surer I became. Its a journey.

Think about what your fears are and do some research. Next time the family starts pressuring, you'll be ready.

BTW - I lived in NYC with my youngest (completely) unvaxed for the first 2 years of his life. When on the subway during flu season - believe me, it was on my mind. But the best defense is a strong immune system and I didn't want to rob him of that. I supplemented with vit a and c when I sensed he was low...And the extended breast feeding helped give me peace of mind. there are ways to be proactive in times of stress for your child without vaxing. Best to you!
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