Dealing with strep pneumo and needing help - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 26 Old 02-25-2011, 06:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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This is my first post here.  A friend recommended I check out these forums.  I'm really needing help and support.

 

We made the decision a few years ago to not vaccinate.  This decision paired our research along with our personal and religious beliefs.  We are a healthy family, we have a good focus on nutrition, we are active.  We aren't perfect but we try to live a healthy lifestyle.

 

I have 3 children, and my youngest is in the hospital fighting off an antibiotic resistant strain of bacterial strep pneumonia.  We don't know yet if it is a vaccine-preventable strain or not.  I know vaccines aren't guarantees of immunity, & I know that of the 27 strains of strep pneumo only 13 are vaccinated against so there is a chance that it wouldn't have been prevented by a vaccine anyway, but I'm still dealing with a lot of guilt and feeling in my gut that it was a strain that is vaccinated against.

 

We have been moved out of the PICU but we still aren't out of the woods yet.  He has amazingly almost fully overcome Atypical HUS that was caused by the strep pneumo, & they are hopeful that they found an antibiotic that he is responding to.  He's undergone surgery to place a chest tube to drain fluid around his lungs, a central line for i v access, and had catheters placed for dialysis he needed when he was still battling aHUS.  He's had numerous blood transfusions and is black and blue from being poked everywhere.  Today he had some fever spikes again, and this evening he had very bloody stool.  We are waiting for him to go again so that they can send a sample to the lab. 

 

I'm terrified that I'm not going to leave this hospital with him.  I've never been so scared in my life.  My husband is amazing and says he supports me and loves me no matter what and doesn't blame me, but I wonder if he'll still feel the same if there are lasting long term effects or he dies.

 

I'm presuming this is a safe place to post this without getting the "this is why you should have vaccinated" guilt trip.  I have enough of that self-imposed guilt, and if I didn't already (which I already did) the Infectious Disease Specialist made sure to berate me in front of my mother about it already which was humiliating. 

 

I'm not a super religious person, but my religious beliefs certainly played a role in my decision to not vaccinate.  I am non-denominational Christian.  I don't go to a church but I believe in God and take a holistic, spiritual approach to things.  I have many friends of many different beliefs systems and I myself believe there are many different paths to the ultimate destination.  I am so grateful for medical intervention when necessary and feel that sometimes God does work through medicine, but I felt that vaccinating an otherwise healthy kid and overusing our access to medical technology seemed disrespectful to God.

 

I've talked a little bit with a chaplain here at the hospital.  Not having a church that I go to, I don't have a church community or pastor to turn to and am not looking for a new religion.  My family is all pro-vaccine so while I know they aren't throwing it in my face right now, they still have their thoughts about it and are blaming me in some way (although many likely wouldn't have realized the non-vaccinated connection had the ID Specialist not yelled at me in front of my mother. . .when I hadn't even told her she could discuss personal medical info in front of her).  I don't know of anyone else locally who doesn't vaccinate to connect with in person.

 

I'm not sure what to do with this guilt.  I know I don't need to decide at this very moment, but of course I'll need to reevaluate whether or not we will do vaccines in the future.  Right now I just want my son to get better.  He keeps going back and forth.  Sometimes I see glimpses of how he used to be- an occasional smile, or he'll say a word or two where he actually sounds like himself- but for the most part he just lounges around, whines, moans, and is obviously still very sick.  I'm so scared that he is going to die or never be the same. 

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#2 of 26 Old 02-25-2011, 08:22 PM
 
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First, I'm sorry you are enduring this and that your LO is so ill. Second, congrats to him for beating HUS. It's nasty and powerful; shows his immune system is a warrior and knows how to work with the medicine.

 

The last thing you should be doing right now is beating yourself up. Your bub is sick - don't do making yourself sick with all these thoughts in the process. There is a LOT of sound advice on this board, but I'd try and post this in perhaps health & healing as well. Tends to get more eyes, and from the right people with great advice and experience.

 

Oh, and if anyone berates you for not vaxing, they need to go have a time out.

 

Sending good thoughts.

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#3 of 26 Old 02-25-2011, 08:44 PM
 
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Oh sweetheart, I am so sorry.

 

I have often thought about this myself as a non-vaxer with vaxing family. This is NOT your fault. You keep praying - I will pray too, ask everyone you meet to pray for you and your son and your family. Harder to say than to do, but DON'T FOCUS ON THE NEGATIVE HONEY!!! Keep it positive, give it to God, talk to Him constantly in thought/prayer, He is right there (He promises!), be with your boy, he needs happy momma! Every time an awful thought floods you - release it, just let it go and combat it with a powerful prayer that God wants the best for you and He is a HEALER and PROTECTOR! GOD LOVES YOU AND YOUR SON!

 

Remember your research. Remember that moment you knew it was RIGHT for you. 

 

Your son is over the Atypical HUS hump and they may have found an antibiotic for him!!! That is wonderful news!!! Breathe. So many hugs for you. You are doing great!

 

I love you sister! So much! Prayers and love surround you!

 

Maybe post for prayer in the Spirituality forum too.

 

HUGS HUGS HUGS - I will post for you in my prayer community right now!

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#4 of 26 Old 02-26-2011, 01:03 AM
 
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Hugs to you and your family. I hope your little one is better soon. You were only trying to be the best parent you could for your kids by refusing the vaccines, please don't beat yourself up. I  know someone who feels horrible guilt for giving her kid a vaccine which she feels caused his autisim. We can only do our research and hope we make the right choices.

 

 

 

The ID doc was very unprofessional and violated pt confidentiality yelling at you in front of your Mom - you have too much to deal with at the moment but you could file a complaint against her with the ethics and compliance board at the hospital once your child is out of there.


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#5 of 26 Old 02-26-2011, 01:20 AM
 
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Quote:

Originally Posted by LisaSedai View Post

 

The ID doc was very unprofessional and violated pt confidentiality yelling at you in front of your Mom - you have too much to deal with at the moment but you could file a complaint against her with the ethics and compliance board at the hospital once your child is out of there.



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#6 of 26 Old 02-26-2011, 06:08 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks everyone.  I'm trying to not beat myself up over it but it's hard not to. 

 

I may or may not file a complaint against the ID Specialist once we leave, but right now I'm not really worried about it.  Right now, I'm not about to make waves with the people who are trying to save my son's life.  After being screwed over by the medical system before I thought that I had a healthy distrust of the medical community which made me not afraid to file complaints, ask questions, or speak my mind if something didn't seem right, but then again that fear that I have also lead me to delay seeking help that in my gut I knew he needed.  It probably wouldn't be worth the complaint in this case.  I've already talked to a couple of the other doctors here whom I'm comfortable with so I feel it will be addressed appropriately. 

 

He started with flu-like symptoms on a Tuesday afternoon.  That Thursday, he spiked a high temp so I went to bring him to the E R, but on the way he started talking a bit more and felt cooler, so with the urgency of the high fever gone I turned around and grabbed some more OTC stuff (I'd already been doing lots of natural stuff to try to bring the fever down & was keeping him hydrated). 

 

The next day (that Friday) I brought him into our regular doctor's office and they said it was just the flu, should pass in a week, wait it out and keep him hydrated.  His lungs were clear, his urine was clear, & his throat culture was fine.  I talked to a few other people whose families had dealt with the flu, & they all sounded like what my son was dealing with- the on again off again fever, high fever spikes, occasional vomiting, no appetite, body aches, just generally feeling miserable.  I knew that on paper it sounded like the flu, but in my gut I knew it was much more and I let it go.  I'm not normally one to over test but I was really disappointed that our doc didn't order blood work & I didn't speak up.  For me to want blood work should have told myself that something was up because that's just not me.  I also knew in my gut that if it was the flu, there should have been others in our family that were hit by then but that didn't appear to be the case (although my middle child had thrown up one night, I was pretty sure it was just caused by a coughing fit, which it was & not the flu). 

 

Late Monday/early Tuesday is when my son's breathing seemed concerning and I took a late night E R trip by myself with 3 kids (my husband was at work).  I'm pretty sure it traumatized my oldest, understandably so.  I rode with my son in the ambulance when they transferred him to the regional children's hospital.  We've been up here a week and a half now.  I miss my other children, my husband, and our home, but I don't dare leave him.  Everyone at the hospital has been wonderful and aside from the ID Specialist no one has really given me any crap for not vaccinating, but I know they're thinking it in their heads.  The rooms have private showers, bathrooms, & pull out sleeper beds which are great, but I sleep in bed with my son, afraid to take my eyes off of him.

 

I'm amazed at how quickly it got so bad.  I know that all he has overcome so far is a sign of his strength and resilience, but I also know any body can only take so much.  I guess in my decision to not vaccinate I didn't factor in human fallibility (between my ignored instincts and wrong dx doctor's office, which I really don't blame them for because I go to them because they aren't intervention-happy and they had seen countless other people that week with the same symptoms who just had the flu) enough, or almost everyone else's overuse of antibiotics.

 

I'm trying to believe that God has a reason for this and will take care of my son, but I know too many other people who have had strong faith and been genuinely good people and their children have been taken from them, & I can't openly accept that.  I know love for God shouldn't be conditional.  Like I said before I'm not normally a super religious person.  I do believe in God but I don't have it all figured out and that's ok, I don't mind being a work in progress, but right now it is so hard to not have answers or control or be able to find the faith to openly accept all possible outcomes.

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#7 of 26 Old 02-27-2011, 08:50 AM
 
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Have lots of people praying for you & your son!

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#8 of 26 Old 02-27-2011, 04:10 PM
 
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PLEASE please post and let us know how your son is.  My heart breaks for you.  My DD got sick on the same day (Tuesday) with a lot of the same initial symptoms.  I am 100% sure in her case it is the flu because DH and I have it too, but your story really hit close to home and I can't stop thinking about your family and your son.  Please update us when you can.


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#9 of 26 Old 02-27-2011, 05:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you all so much for your support.  He has been having a difficult time with fevers the past few days.  Normally fevers don't bother me but given the circumstances, it's distressing.  We can't figure out what is causing the fevers.  Thankfully it seems to be responding well to Tylenol, unlike when we first came in and nothing was touching his fevers (both naturally & medicinally).  They've sent out countless tests but everything has come back negative which on one hand is good, but on the other hand has us baffled because we just don't know why he is spiking fevers again.  We're hoping that tomorrow's surgery will help with the fevers.  The surgery will remove the central line & the dialysis catheter that he has in place now (maybe the fevers are his body's reaction to foreign objects?) & while he is under anesthesia they will also use a scope to see if they are able to remove some more of the gunk around his lungs (this "gunk" is notably thick whereas apparently most pneumonia "gunk" is thin & watery; maybe removing it will help with the fevers?).  If they are able to get to the gunk with the scope, they will remove what they can and put another chest tube in to help drain it.

 

On one hand, I'm oddly looking forward to the surgery.  It will be quicker than the last one and although he is still very sick he is in MUCH better shape than when he went into his first surgery.  I'm really hopeful that this will help solve the fever problem.  I don't know if I believe that either of those is what's causing the problem or not, but at this point I've got to grasp at something because I hate the thought of not knowing what is going on.

 

Of course I'm not looking forward to starting over again with his eating/appetite issues after surgery.  The chest tube is painful & will probably require some stronger pain meds, which paired with the big gun antibiotics they have him on causes him to not want to eat (or to throw up whatever we can manage to get in him, which means more meds to combat the nausea, & of course the thought of yet more meds to susceptible kidneys & other organs is a whole other issue in itself).  After his last surgery he ended up with an ng tube down his nose to give him nourishment, which he pulled out once and had to be replaced, and then vomited up another time.  I know in the grand scheme of things an ng tube isn't that bad, but I really don't want him to have to go through that again. 

 

They've tested for countless other viruses too to see if maybe he picked up something else while here at the hospital, all of which have come back negative so far.  Of course I don't want him to have a virus, but again I'd just like to be able to label what is causing the fevers to return.

 

One of the doctors told me this morning that they are baffled by him on many levels. . . from the amazement to how well and quickly he recovered from the aHUS, to being stumped by many of the other unanswered questions we still have. . . and that they could write a case study on him because this has just been such a new sight for any of the doctor's here.  She said it in a "wow, your son is really intriguing, how interesting is this" kind of way, but of course I heard it as "yeah, this is some crazy stuff, & because we don't have any experience with this I can't guarantee you anything."  We're at a huge children's hospital.  It's so scary to me that no one here is able to say "we've treated patients like this before."  They've treated patients with these symptoms/problems separately, but apparently not all of these issues together by the sounds of it.

 

If the surgery doesn't resolve the fevers, I have no idea where we'll go from here.  Right now it is all just one step at a time.  I really hope the surgery solves the fevers for numerous reasons, but one big one being that without the central line in anymore they'll need to go back to poking him every time they need blood, which is awful for him.  Every time they've needed to get blood from some place other than the central line, it's taken at least 3 tries.

 

Sorry for jumping around.  Thank you all so much for letting me babble and for your continued thoughts and prayers.  I will update at some point in the next few days to let you know how the surgery went and if it affected the fevers.

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#10 of 26 Old 03-01-2011, 07:56 AM
 
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I am so sorry! How scary. I can't even imagine how you are holding up. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I hope he recovers soon.How old is your ds?

 

In your original post you said there are 27 strains of Streptococcus pneumoniae, but there are actually 90 strains. Yes the 13 in Prevnar are supposed to be the most prevelant and frequently seen strains, but that leaves 63 strains that could have sickened your son. I hope that they can type the strain and it turns out to be one not included in the vaccine because that may go a long way in relieving any guilt you may feel. Hang in there!!!


If the people let government decide what foods they eat and what medicines they take, their bodies will soon be in as sorry a state as are the souls of those who live under tyranny." Thomas Jefferson.

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#11 of 26 Old 03-01-2011, 08:46 AM
 
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First off my prayers and thoughts are with you.I hope your son fully recovers. My 8yo recently went to the ER,because I thought he had pneumonia.He did but I caught it early.Just the right lung had fluid. He was put on a 4 day antibios.Thankfully he recovered but he does have a low grade temp,so who knows what is brewing.

 

You just never know how things will go.

 

Would it be possible to do some IV vitamin C for your son? I have read that really helps far more than the oral.

 

If you had vaccianted they would have said," It would have been worse." Since you did not vaccinate they are free to shame you.It is no different than a person whose baby dies during a homebirth. Might have died in the hospital as well,but because it was a homebirth...well it's the moms fault.

 

We all do the best we can and sometimes our choices result in outcomes we wouldn't wish on anyone.

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#12 of 26 Old 03-02-2011, 05:48 AM
 
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thinking of you and your son and praying for a full recovery. how did the surgery go?

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#13 of 26 Old 03-05-2011, 06:01 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks everyone for the thoughts and prayers.  The surgery itself to remove the dialysis catheter went well, but they didn't clean out anything else around his lung or remove his central line.  He is still having the fevers, although they do seem to be very slowly spacing out.  Aside from his fevers, everything else seems to look good, relatively speaking.

 

I'm hurting so badly right now.  My younger sister (who doesn't even have children) posted a pro-vaccine link on my Facebook page.  I knew the pro-vax stuff would be coming, but I figured it would A) at least not be coming until after we received verification of if it's a vaccinated-against link or not, and B) that those who were so "concerned" to feel compelled to post would at least have the tact to wait until things were better and we were home. 

 

This lead to a phone call with my mother where she kept telling me vaccinations are harmless, she is going to do "EVERYTHING" in her power to make sure my children get vaccinated, & that I'm making her relive my brother's death.  Of course I know that we've done nothing illegal or neglectful, but the looming threat of having whatever I might say used against us makes me not want to share many updates with my family.  They've berated me for not always updating them or answering the phone.  I'm sorry, but I'm exhausted.  Sometimes I need to talk, but other times I'm just talked out, & most of the time I'm just too busy taking care of my son.  I hate talking on the phone, & it's hard to do anyway when there are nurses and doctors in and out of the room all of the time.  So apparently not only am I a terrible mother, I'm also an awful daughter & sister for not wanting to talk on the phone 3 times a day and update my son's website twice a day like they want me to.  I told my mother that if she really thinks that she'd be able to force non-emergent medical care on someone else's children, then by that logic it would be possible to legally mandate all pregnant women to quit smoking or all parents who formula feed by choice to be declared neglectful.  (Although I'm pretty sure there's more long-standing research out there about the risks of smoking while pregnant or formula feeding than there is long-term research on vaccine safety.)  It's not going to happen. 

 

It shows their ignorance on the research and the law if they really think vaccines are risk- and consequence-free.  Aside from the one doctor who berated me in front of my mother about this, leading to all of this unnecessary stress, every other staff member here has been respectful of our decision, acknowledged our right to decline any medical treatment (including vaccines), & acknowledged that vaccines do not equate guarantees of health or immunity.  A few of the doctors have also pointed out that generally the parents that don't vaccinate that they talk with (including us) are very well educated, have done their research, are far from neglectful, and obviously love their children very much.  I know our rights and I know we've done nothing illegal, but the threat alone just disgusts me. 

 

My sister also twisted the words of a private conversation we had and told my mother, making it sound like I was blaming her for my son's kidney problems.  When we first found out about the aHUS, my sister was here with me the following day and I asked her if she knew any details about our brother's health conditions.  I knew he had had seizures and kidney issues leading to his death, but I didn't know any details beyond that.  In some of the information the hospital gave us about aHUS, it said that in some cases it may be genetic, so I said to my sister that I'd be interested in knowing if HUS affected my brother too to see if they were related & it would be good for both of us to know if it was genetic.  My sister went and told my mother that I told the doctors nothing about my brother & that I blamed them for not telling me it was genetic.  We didn't know if it was genetic at the time, and thankfully it isn't, but I NEVER placed blame like that!  I said it would be helpful to know, & I just asked her if she knew anything about it!  So on top of hurting me, she hurt my parents.  My mother then went and gabbed to a bunch of friends and family about our neglectful parenting choices and how we stupidly never told the doctors about my brother's kidney issues, which is not true at all.  I told the doctors what I knew at the time, and when I knew more I told them more.  I didn't withhold anything.  I know it doesn't matter what others think but it just digs the knife even deeper to know that there are even more people out there who think I'm this terrible, neglectful, ignorant mother.

 

I'm so hurt right now.  I know it's not about me, it's about my son, but I don't know how their threats and finger pointing are helping him either.  I have no idea when we'll be able to go home, and I have no idea what I'm going to do past this week since I can't count on my family to help with my older children while I'm here at the hospital and my husband is at work.  Time-wise and financially, it is not feasible for me to drive back and forth multiple times a day, & I can't leave him here in the hospital by himself overnight.  I just don't know what to do.

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#14 of 26 Old 03-05-2011, 06:51 AM
 
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I am soo sorry for everything you're going through. I know its hard not to beat yourself up about your choices when you have little support and you feel that everyone is judging you. But please dont. It does no one any good. I am so glad that your son is such a fighter! Congrats on the improvements! Try not to think too much about your family situation right now. I cant believe that they are acting this way at this point in time. Maybe you should remind them that although they dont agree with your decisions that it is NOT okay to all but turn their backs on your family-it is NEVER the children's fault and as such I dont understand why they wouldnt be willing to help out with your older chilldren. If you are any where close to us we'd love to help your family out (we're in the gulf coast of texas). Please keep us updated when you have time. I pray for health and healing for your son and second the idea of asking doctors about IV vit. C. It can;t hurt will it? Please take care of yourself and keep praying to God, we're here if you need to vent.


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#15 of 26 Old 03-05-2011, 07:32 AM
 
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I am so sorry you are going through this right now.  I lurk on these boards all the time, but seldom login and post. I just wanted to offer any help or encouragement I can.  I live in Michigan, and if it's anywhere near where your family is, I will gladly come and help you with the older kids or anything else you need. I think it's terrible that your family is not supporting you like they should.

 

My dd had pneumonia when she was 5 and her doc said that if she had been given the hib vax she probably would not have gotten sick in the first place.

I don't know if that is true or not, but it didn't change my views on vaxing her.  She was sick for 2 weeks but responded well to the antibiotics and recovered perfectly.  Thank goodness you are at a childrens hospital and they are working hard for your little one.

 

Please don't hate on yourself. You are doing the best you can and have myriads of mommas sending love and positive thoughts to you and your dear ones.

 

If you are close to where I am, send me a pm and let me know what I can do to help.

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#16 of 26 Old 03-07-2011, 02:52 PM
 
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How's he doing?  I'm sorry to ask again but I've been thinking about your family alot.  I'd love an update.  I hope you haven't posted again because he's improving so much....


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#17 of 26 Old 03-08-2011, 12:24 AM
 
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Hope your little one is better. I'm sorry your sister is being so rotten to you and your mother is putting you through it too. Would it be possible for your husband to update them on your son's condition so you didn't have to speak to them so much?


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#18 of 26 Old 03-16-2011, 04:03 PM
 
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So in interest of full disclosure: I'm an atheist. I'm highly pro-vaccine.

 

Response: What a horrible situation. I hope you find more support in the days ahead. Of course you feel guilty! What normal human wouldn't? You love your child and in retrospect (where everything is too clear too late) you may have had the opportunity to prevent this. The what-if game is insidious. I'm of the personal opinion that your decisions were irrational BUT the point is at the time you decided to not vaccinate you were doing so for caring reasons. In psychology they talk about "good enough parenting". You don't need to be perfect, you just need to be good enough. And now it seems like you are already rethinking your vaccination approach for the same reason you didn't vaccinate: out of concern for your child. I hope your kid pulls through. 

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#19 of 26 Old 03-16-2011, 04:56 PM
 
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I hope your son is doing much better! I check this thread frequently to see if you have updated. Let us know more when you get a chance.

 

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Originally Posted by medstudent View Post

So in interest of full disclosure: I'm an atheist. I'm highly pro-vaccine.

 

Response: What a horrible situation. I hope you find more support in the days ahead. Of course you feel guilty! What normal human wouldn't? You love your child and in retrospect (where everything is too clear too late) you may have had the opportunity to prevent this. The what-if game is insidious. I'm of the personal opinion that your decisions were irrational BUT the point is at the time you decided to not vaccinate you were doing so for caring reasons. In psychology they talk about "good enough parenting". You don't need to be perfect, you just need to be good enough. And now it seems like you are already rethinking your vaccination approach for the same reason you didn't vaccinate: out of concern for your child. I hope your kid pulls through. 

Parents feel bad when things happen to their children. If OP's child had been damaged by the vaccine, she would be feeling awful too. Her decision to not vaccinate was not irrational. She mentions being educated on the consequences of either option, and falling on the side to not vaccinate. You may not agree with her decision, but that does not make it irrational.

 

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#20 of 26 Old 03-17-2011, 12:34 PM
 
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It is unbelievable how your family is treating you! Our families are mainly pro-vax, but fully understand our stance on this subject. Many have older children, and knowing what they do now, would not give their kids all (or any) of the vaccines if they could do it again. I can't imagine how hurt I'd be if they turned against us in this way. I am hoping this is a strain that is not in the vaccines. Hopefully that shuts them up.

Please update us. I'd love to know how your son is.


Quote:

 

 

Originally Posted by medstudent View Post
 

So in interest of full disclosure: I'm an atheist. I'm highly pro-vaccine.

 

Response: What a horrible situation. I hope you find more support in the days ahead. Of course you feel guilty! What normal human wouldn't? You love your child and in retrospect (where everything is too clear too late) you may have had the opportunity to prevent this. The what-if game is insidious. I'm of the personal opinion that your decisions were irrational BUT the point is at the time you decided to not vaccinate you were doing so for caring reasons. In psychology they talk about "good enough parenting". You don't need to be perfect, you just need to be good enough. And now it seems like you are already rethinking your vaccination approach for the same reason you didn't vaccinate: out of concern for your child. I hope your kid pulls through. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

IMO, sticking your baby with neurotoxins, animal tissues and God knows what else, might be considered irrational to say the least.

And like the PP said: 

 

Quote:
If OP's child had been damaged by the vaccine, she would be feeling awful too.

 

There are no guarantees no matter what we do to protect our children. The hospitals are full of vaccinated children for various reasons. If I was confronted by the IDS the way the OP was, I would ask her how many vaccinated children were in that hospital. All kids get sick, vaccinated or not. Calling someone irrational, or berating someone like the IDS did is simply unacceptable.


 

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#21 of 26 Old 03-18-2011, 09:06 AM
 
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I think you wandered into the wrong forum...and the wrond thread. OP clearly states in her post she is looking for support. To tell a mom who is worried about the life of her baby that her choices were irrational and she possible could have prevented this is not supoortive and incredible insensitive. I see you are a med student. I hope you treat your future patients with more respect.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by medstudent View Post

So in interest of full disclosure: I'm an atheist. I'm highly pro-vaccine.

 

Response: What a horrible situation. I hope you find more support in the days ahead. Of course you feel guilty! What normal human wouldn't? You love your child and in retrospect (where everything is too clear too late) you may have had the opportunity to prevent this. The what-if game is insidious. I'm of the personal opinion that your decisions were irrational BUT the point is at the time you decided to not vaccinate you were doing so for caring reasons. In psychology they talk about "good enough parenting". You don't need to be perfect, you just need to be good enough. And now it seems like you are already rethinking your vaccination approach for the same reason you didn't vaccinate: out of concern for your child. I hope your kid pulls through. 



 

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If the people let government decide what foods they eat and what medicines they take, their bodies will soon be in as sorry a state as are the souls of those who live under tyranny." Thomas Jefferson.

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#22 of 26 Old 03-18-2011, 11:02 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marnica View Post

I think you wandered into the wrong forum...and the wrond thread. OP clearly states in her post she is looking for support. To tell a mom who is worried about the life of her baby that her choices were irrational and she possible could have prevented this is not supoortive and incredible insensitive. I see you are a med student. I hope you treat your future patients with more respect.
 

 


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#23 of 26 Old 03-18-2011, 05:08 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ammiga View Post

 

Parents feel bad when things happen to their children. If OP's child had been damaged by the vaccine, she would be feeling awful too. Her decision to not vaccinate was not irrational. She mentions being educated on the consequences of either option, and falling on the side to not vaccinate. You may not agree with her decision, but that does not make it irrational.

 

 

Exactly; with just a few changes this can fit a situation concerning vaccine damage:

 

"What a horrible situation. I hope you find more support in the days ahead. Of course you feel guilty! What normal human wouldn't? You love your child and in retrospect (where everything is too clear too late) you may have had the opportunity to prevent this. The what-if game is insidious. I'm of the personal opinion that your decisions were irrational BUT the point is at the time you decided to not vaccinate you were doing so for caring reasons. In psychology they talk about "good enough parenting". You don't need to be perfect, you just need to be good enough. And now it seems like you are already rethinking your vaccination approach for the same reason you didn't vaccinate(d): out of concern for your child. I hope your kid pulls through."
 

 

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#24 of 26 Old 03-19-2011, 10:41 AM
 
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Ha. way to read the context of my message. I know we disagree about the vaccines. Regardless of my postion, I understand she was making choices on what she believed to be the best course. It wasn't meant as a guilt trip, it was meant as a support of her as a mother. And her family, who disagree with her should be supporting her as well. 

 

 

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#25 of 26 Old 03-21-2011, 09:17 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by medstudent View Post

Ha. way to read the context of my message. I know we disagree about the vaccines. Regardless of my postion, I understand she was making choices on what she believed to be the best course. It wasn't meant as a guilt trip, it was meant as a support of her as a mother. And her family, who disagree with her should be supporting her as well. 

 

 



 Regardless of how it was meant or of your position - it comes off (at least to me) as insensitive. Perhaps you could have left the part out about how you think she made an irrational choice? The rest of it was quite supportive.

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If the people let government decide what foods they eat and what medicines they take, their bodies will soon be in as sorry a state as are the souls of those who live under tyranny." Thomas Jefferson.

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#26 of 26 Old 05-21-2011, 02:17 AM
 
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Any updates? I hope your family is healing and doing well.


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