Wondering about a friend's baby... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 8 Old 10-05-2012, 07:59 AM - Thread Starter
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Since my post seemed so controversial...and I am not looking for an argument I thought I would just delete it lol :)

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#2 of 8 Old 10-05-2012, 09:17 AM
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How much data do you actually have here? Do you know how much weight her son has gained over the past few months? Is there a definition for "clingy", or any reason to think it's abnormal behavior for a five month old?

If you have hard facts, I think it's reasonable to suggest to your friend that something seems odd and maybe her ped is being a touch blase about some things that genuinely ought to be addressed.

If you don't... basically, you're speculating that your friend's parenting choices have harmed her son (with no evidence of harm, and even less evidence of the cause) and spinning that speculation into internet gossip. In a few days, you can accumulate a crowd to congratulate you on not vaccinating, and you can congratulate them back, and everyone will agree that your friend is wrong and her poor baby is just hosed. No harm comes from any of this, but no good comes out of it either.
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#3 of 8 Old 10-05-2012, 09:41 AM
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#4 of 8 Old 10-05-2012, 12:22 PM - Thread Starter
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Wow...that was a harsh response. I didn't deserve that.


My point was not what you say and I am very offended. I am seriously concerned about her son and I would never say she is a bad mother or would ever harm her son. They have made their choices when it comes to vaccines and I respect that choice. I simply wondered if anyone else had experienced the same sort of issue and after researching I see that it does happen and more then some would think, though it has not been proven that vaccines attributed to lack of weight gain and growth in any baby. But thats the case with almost all vaccine related problems.


I honestly, think that vaccines are a choice each parent must make for themselves with proper information. I am not against vaccinations in and of themselves...I am against the lack of studies and the over involvement of money in the vaccine industry. I wish that vaccines were truly proven safe for EVERY baby and I would happily vaccinate.


I think I am offended most by your comment because choosing not to vaccinate my baby was a very, and is, a very difficult choice to make. A choice made after much research, many conversations, and several sleepless nights. There is much to consider and as a mom you just want whats best for you baby. I know this is the right choice for me. No matter what choice you make you must live with whatever consequences arise. If you vaccinate and your child is hurt by the vaccination...or if you don't and you child gets sick with a disease that maybe you could have prevented by vaccinating. I don't think ANYONE has the right to tell a parent they are right or wrong...as long as the parent has looked at both sides. Maybe it is a different story for those that just go with the flow and don't bother to get the facts.



And lastly...I don't know if you vaccinate or not...but whatever your choice may be...don't pass judgement on those who choose otherwise. Its rude and wrong. You know nothing about me or my reasons for asking...ANYTHING...period.


Anyway, it doesn't matter what the answer is, if I think its worth it I will talk to my friend about it...her mother told me she thought maybe my friend would reconsider giving him anymore after has has had such bad reactions. In the end its her choice and I respect that. I don't think she is right or wrong. Everyone is different. So nope...not looking for anything here...was mainly just musing.

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#5 of 8 Old 10-05-2012, 12:24 PM
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Honestly, it could be anything - vaccines included. MeepyCat, that was kind of rude.

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#6 of 8 Old 10-05-2012, 12:41 PM
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I just wanted to add in that my 9 month old (99.9% EBF, non vaccinated) DD has not doubled her birth weight yet. She was 8lbs at birth and is now 15.5, so almost there! orngbiggrin.gif Has her son grown taller (my DD is very tall for her age, just thin) or has he not seemed to grow or gain? What about other milestones, is he smiling, giggling, starting to sit up? 


As far as the clinging goes, is he teething? Or could people be telling her that he is clingy, although he just wants to be with his mama a reasonable amount for a 5 month old (the amount of independence that is expected from infants can be astounding)?


Overall I would be more concerned with meeting milestones than weight, because like you said every child is different in that respect. But, if I knew a vaccine had caused some serious sounding stomach problems I would worry about continuing effects, especially with further doses. 


Also- I'm sorry you were met with an offensive reply. Although the vaccine topic can get very heated here on MDC (because it revolves around children's safety) it really is a great resource for all kinds of information. I hope you give the forums another shot and welcome to MDC! Welcome.gif

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#7 of 8 Old 10-06-2012, 12:17 PM
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my daughter was EBF until she started herself on solid foods at 5-1/2mo.  i mean ***exclusively*** - not a bottle, ever, once.


she was 7lb 10oz when she was born, 6lb 4oz 24hrs later.  we were in the hospital for nearly a week bef they felt able to release her.  bec she couldn't stay awake and would nurse only about 60 sec bef falling asleep, i breastfed her every 10min around the clock for the first two days, then gradually stretched it out until she was breastfeeding every 90min.  she never really went longer than that and, saving cluster feeds, never  nursed longer than 5min.  


she was triple her birth weight at 5mo.  at one yr, she was 32lbs.  since she was 18mo old, however, her weight has remained betw 50 and 54lbs - she's 5-1/2yrs old now.


another lady's son was born the exact same day but 2hrs earlier than my daughter.  he, too, was massively overweight.


we had the same family doctor - she was read the riot act about her son's condition, i wasn't.  




bec my daughter was rolling from front to back at 2-1/2mo, sitting on her own (leaning forward) at 4mo, going from hands and knees to a sit at 6mo, walking at 9-1/2mo, stopped crawling entirely at 10-1/2mo, and could walk up and down stairs holding one hand and foot-over-foot at 13mo.


her son?  at 4mo, he had to stay in a recliner bec he couldn't sit up - when he tried, he threw up.  he could not lay down - he couldn't breathe and again, would throw up.


weight is not the be-all and end-all of a baby's condition.  my daughter is BIG - not only is she the weight of an average 7yr old, she's the height of an avg 7yr old as well.  she needs size 8 for length and takes a size 1 shoe.  she is ***active*** - diagnosed ADHD when she was 4 - and is always on the move.


one cannot point to a single factor and say "a-ha!!!!".

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#8 of 8 Old 10-08-2012, 07:51 PM
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Let's keep in mind that personal attacks are not permitted at Mothering.  Just want to make sure we move forward in a respectful manner.

Heather - Wife , Mommy  & Health & Wellness Educator, Speaker & Consultant 
Dairy, soy & corn free with limited gluten... yes, really. And journeying towards peace.  Blogging about both.
Let me guide you to find the food and lifestyle choices...
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