Sensitivity to vaccine reactions - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 15 Old 08-14-2013, 12:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I saw an article recently where a mother of a vaccine-injured child was discussing how difficult it is to read Facebook.

 

Her specific issues:

 

People posting that they are bring their kids in for shots

 

Photos of kids getting shots (she finds it trigger-ish)

 

People complaining after the shot of high fevers and other not so great reactions.  She bites her lip hard not to say I told you so.

 

I may be able to dig up the link later….

 

I had mixed feelings about it.  On one hand, I think she was a bit over the top.  It is Facebook.  Should we have to avoid topics that are triggery for some people?

 

On the other, I do think those who do not have a vaccine injured child have an obligation to show sensitivity (which might include indulging heightened sensitivity) to parents of  vaccine injured children.  I would love to hear from parents of vaccine injured children.  

 

I absolutely think there are far worse things than the Facebook nonsense in terms of lack of sensitivity.  Those who believe parents are making it up to support a no-vax agenda, for one (I have seen this said recently - not on MDC)

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#2 of 15 Old 08-14-2013, 12:57 PM
 
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One comment reads as follows:

"You are saying that I am not allowed to post complaints on my child being annoying or misbehaving because he his healthy, but you are allowed to post about your troubles with your child? you said “Because if we are friends on FB, then you know that my vaccine-injured kid has gone through hell.” – so you can post but I can’t? My father is dead, so I should be mad at people when they post “oh god my father was so annoying yesterday” – no that’s nuts. Because my father died a horrible untimely death at a young age doesn’t mean everyone has to center their posts around mine. Maybe you shouldn’t be on facebook if your so sensitive"

 

I agree. While I'm sorry this woman has an autistic/vaccine injured child, she has no right to dictate what others post on their own facebook pages. I have lots of FB friends that post things that irritate me - maybe because we hold a difference of opinion on the topic, or because it brings up a bad memory about something. I don't expect them to NOT post their thoughts or opinions or experiences because it offends me or because I disagree with them!

 

There was another comment where a woman stated it made her mad when parents posted they were proud of their child getting straight A's because there are so many learning disabled kids out there.

WTF? seriously????? look Im a compassionate person. I have devoted my life to helping others and my job day in and day out is to listen to people's problems compassionately, but I have the right to be proud of my child and if I want to make a status post about him or her doing well in school - Im going to. Doesn't mean I am insensitive. the insinuation is bizarre. JMHO

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If the people let government decide what foods they eat and what medicines they take, their bodies will soon be in as sorry a state as are the souls of those who live under tyranny." Thomas Jefferson.

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#3 of 15 Old 08-14-2013, 12:57 PM
 
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ahhhhh every time I post it makes a double post. I don;t know why and its pissing me off!!

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If the people let government decide what foods they eat and what medicines they take, their bodies will soon be in as sorry a state as are the souls of those who live under tyranny." Thomas Jefferson.

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#4 of 15 Old 08-14-2013, 01:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marnica View Post

One comment reads as follows:

"You are saying that I am not allowed to post complaints on my child being annoying or misbehaving because he his healthy, but you are allowed to post about your troubles with your child? you said “Because if we are friends on FB, then you know that my vaccine-injured kid has gone through hell.” – so you can post but I can’t? My father is dead, so I should be mad at people when they post “oh god my father was so annoying yesterday” – no that’s nuts. Because my father died a horrible untimely death at a young age doesn’t mean everyone has to center their posts around mine. Maybe you shouldn’t be on facebook if your so sensitive"

 

I agree. While I'm sorry this woman has an autistic/vaccine injured child, she has no right to dictate what others post on their own facebook pages. I have lots of FB friends that post things that irritate me - maybe because we hold a difference of opinion on the topic, or because it brings up a bad memory about something. I don't expect them to NOT post their thoughts or opinions or experiences because it offends me or because I disagree with them!

 

There was another comment where a woman stated it made her mad when parents posted they were proud of their child getting straight A's because there are so many learning disabled kids out there.

WTF? seriously????? look Im a compassionate person. I have devoted my life to helping others and my job day in and day out is to listen to people's problems compassionately, but I have the right to be proud of my child and if I want to make a status post about him or her doing well in school - Im going to. Doesn't mean I am insensitive. the insinuation is bizarre. JMHO

There is a thread on this over in special needs -where posters are discussing how annoyed they feel when parents of perfectly healthy children complain about their issues.  

 

I get it - and yet at the same time, all parents want to vent,  complain, share joy, be proud.

 

That being said, I do not vent or complain to my sister (mother of 2 severely autistic child) about most things.  It would be incredibly petty given the relative easiness of my life and the immense difficulty of hers.  I do miss having her to vent to - and maybe she misses the normalcy or whatever, but it is the call I have made.  I don't think she typically has the headspace for anyone elses problems, anyways.  

 

That is a personal call though, and it is about one relationship with my sister. Facebook is for the masses.  

 

I did agree with the authors  point on biting her tongue.  Once upon a time I had this experience of trying to tell my mother the flu shot (which she only bothers with some of the time) was not very effective in elderly people.  I don't think she listened very well.  Some doctor came on a news radio show a few days later and said the flu vaccine was not as effective as they would like in elderly people, and she believed him.  I do think I said "I told you so," though.  Lol.  

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#5 of 15 Old 08-15-2013, 11:01 AM
 
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Your point is well taken Kathy.

Obviously I would be sensitive to one particular individual or friend who I knew was struggling with a certain issue. I would never knowingly make comments directly to them that they feel might be insensitive or would upset them. However when you are talking about something like facebook, that is totally different. I have over 200 "friends" on my page and have a different relationship with each of them. I cannot censor my every post to take into consdieration the thoughts and feelings of over 200 diverse people - ridiculous!

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If the people let government decide what foods they eat and what medicines they take, their bodies will soon be in as sorry a state as are the souls of those who live under tyranny." Thomas Jefferson.

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#6 of 15 Old 08-15-2013, 11:01 AM
 
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Your point is well taken Kathy.

Obviously I would be sensitive to one particular individual or friend who I knew was struggling with a certain issue. I would never knowingly make comments directly to them that they feel might be insensitive or would upset them. However when you are talking about something like facebook, that is totally different. I have over 200 "friends" on my page and have a different relationship with each of them. I cannot censor my every post to take into consdieration the thoughts and feelings of over 200 diverse people - ridiculous!

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If the people let government decide what foods they eat and what medicines they take, their bodies will soon be in as sorry a state as are the souls of those who live under tyranny." Thomas Jefferson.

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#7 of 15 Old 08-15-2013, 04:19 PM
 
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Block works a lot better on FB than it does here.  I prefer it significantly.

 

 

 

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#8 of 15 Old 08-15-2013, 04:44 PM
 
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I think it's your responsibility to filter what you see on Facebook. The easy thing is just to remove that person from your wall. Or hide certain posts. They will never know you did it. I'm sure it's been done to me when I get all crazy with my posts LOL.
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#9 of 15 Old 08-15-2013, 07:46 PM
 
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i've been hiding lots of fb posts lately... there are the angry, ignorant, ranty ones, but I have actually been surprised at my emotional reaction to people just posting that their kid is getting shots that day.

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#10 of 15 Old 08-16-2013, 01:51 PM
 
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I do sort of cring at the shot posts, esp when they complain about fevers and crying after but make no effort to find out why and how to avoid it in the future.  But I've had people attack me about my posts, one had been a friend since high school, and every time I mentioned chiropractor he go on a rant about "quack doctors" and spout of pharmaceutical jargon (he was a chem engineering major who clearly drank the pharm koolaide and joined them).  I finally, after defending myself and nicely commenting back, told him a few choice words and deleted him...along with his wife.  I have no time for that no was there any reason for him to ever go out of his way to post such ignorant and nasty things on my wall.  He's not he first and won't be the last!  It's the beauty of FB, you get to choose what you want to see and who you want to interact with and on what level.

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#11 of 15 Old 08-18-2013, 03:57 PM
 
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I thought of this thread when one of my friends posted this photo today.  orngbiggrin.gif

 

*

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#12 of 15 Old 08-19-2013, 04:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by fruitfulmomma View Post

i've been hiding lots of fb posts lately... there are the angry, ignorant, ranty ones, but I have actually been surprised at my emotional reaction to people just posting that their kid is getting shots that day.

 

I don't like hearing a kid is getting a shot.  I worry they won't be okay afterwards.  

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There is a battle of two wolves inside us.  One is good and the other is evil.  The wolf that wins is the one you feed.

 

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#13 of 15 Old 08-20-2013, 09:38 AM
 
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Quote:

Originally Posted by kathymuggle View Post

 

I don't like hearing a kid is getting a shot.  I worry they won't be okay afterwards.  

OMG I was at pedi yesterday with my DD for tummy issues and all I heard was kids wailing getting shots. I felt so bad for them. One mother was yelling at her kid because she was crying getting them. Telling her to stop making a fuss and it was her own fault that they hurt. I wanted to go in the room and give her a piece of my mind! (not for giving shots because I respect every parents choice to do what they think is right) but for treating her poor duaghter like that! greensad.gif

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If the people let government decide what foods they eat and what medicines they take, their bodies will soon be in as sorry a state as are the souls of those who live under tyranny." Thomas Jefferson.

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#14 of 15 Old 08-21-2013, 05:38 AM
 
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Marnica that is so sad :( I encountered a lady at the dentist treating her son horribly bc he didn't want to go back alone...not that he didn't want to go, but that he wanted his mom with him, it was his first time. I did run my mouth to her, and let her know that all three of my kids wanted me their first times then were happy to go alone, and that it wouldn't be bad for her to go with him. I just couldn't take the meanness anymore!! It broke my heart...I have a dental phobia and her treatment of her son is a good way to start one in him. ugh. It still burns me up to think about that. She argued with me saying he'd never want to go alone and she knows what she's doing (oh, obviously...)


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#15 of 15 Old 08-22-2013, 11:51 AM
 
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I solved this by getting off FB.  :)

 

Actually, it wasn't just the vaccine posts that bothered me; it was a variety of complaints that rubbed me the wrong way.  And while I listen to some ranting patiently from my family, close friends, or students, there's no reason for me to subject myself to it otherwise.  And it's their right to go on there and complain.

 

Interestingly, I got off FB because someone posted an article talking about how children on the spectrum should be automatically screened for criminal behaviors to make sure another Newtown doesn't happen.  I looked at my sweet child, brain-damaged from vaccines and slowly recovering with PDD, and deactivated the account.  Best decision I've made in a long time.

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