SIL wont let my kids see her newborn - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 14 Old 12-05-2013, 08:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My SIL wont let my unvaxed kids see their new cousin until he's 2 months old, and gets his 1st round of shots.
Am I the only one who fails to see the logic here..?

Everything aside, I am really hurt!!! It's not like we're carrying VPDs around with us!

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#2 of 14 Old 12-05-2013, 09:24 PM
 
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I'm so sorry. It's stupid and totally illogical. The worst is that your kids are the ones who suffer the most. What does your DH say?

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#3 of 14 Old 12-06-2013, 06:08 AM - Thread Starter
 
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We barely got a chance to talk about it last night, but I showed him the texts and he was proud of me for standing my ground and telling them how much sense it doesn't make. They're claiming the Dr is the one who told them not to let unvaxed kids around the baby. (I almost said, but decided against it, so if the Dr told u to cut the tip.off your baby's penis you'd do that too? Oh wait, you already did! )
I guess the only logic that could be behind it is the incubation period. But vaxed ppl spread more disease without showing symptoms.
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#4 of 14 Old 12-06-2013, 10:36 AM
 
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At least she thinks there is something magical about the 2 month vaccines, and your kids can see the baby after that!

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#5 of 14 Old 12-06-2013, 09:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm debating whether I should print out what Dr. Sears has to say about it. I don't want to change her mind, I don't agree, but I can still respect, ykwim? My problem is that she's viewing my children as diseased, and that is what is really hurting me. I feel like she sees my family like rodents that spread disease wherever they go. I know that that's an ignorant view point, but it doesn't change the fact that it *is* her view point.
Its really bothering me. I'm having a hard time getting over this!

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#6 of 14 Old 12-06-2013, 09:27 PM
 
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I don't blame you for being hurt. My SIL is horrid. She actually thought my baby crying was "great vocalization" and said I should just let her cry, she will get "used" to it. What?!?! Get used to no one caring. Not on my watch!!!

I decided that talking with anyone (including close family) that we don't vax is a baaaad idea. My sisters know, but we are all non vaxed as well, so they see the logic of course.

2mo babies aren't as cute as 3mo, I should know I have one! She might just be in over-protective mode and deep down not want visitors. I would just take the high road and wait. greensad.gif sorry!

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#7 of 14 Old 12-07-2013, 10:29 AM
 
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Well you could always throw it right back at her and say you won't allow your children (or you and your DH for that matter) around her newly vaxxed baby for a designated time frame following vaccination because of the risk of shedding depending upon what vaxxes are given.  You could also say something to the effect that not everyone she comes into contact with in stores or elsewhere will be fully or vaxxed at all and she will never know the difference.  And along those lines, anyone she comes into contact with who has recently been vaxxed with anything that sheds, is just as bad as the disease itself.  But ultimately you can't change people's opinions when they blindly follow anything so ridiculous as what doctors are preaching these days.

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#8 of 14 Old 12-07-2013, 10:41 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Well, we always do stay away from their older DD for at least 2 weeks after she gets vaxed. So, it will be an extra 2 weeks after his 2 month shots before we meet him, for our protection. And I initially did tell her I'd be much more worried about him being around vaxed ppl, since they can spread diseases with no symptoms. At least I know when my kids have something goin on. And I felt like asking her when she or the babys dad received their last boosters, because I'm fairly certain they're not *UTD * but that doesn't seem to make sense to her since in her mind the baby will incur full immunity at his 2 month check up.

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#9 of 14 Old 12-07-2013, 10:42 AM
 
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That's too bad, but I guess other than giving her some information the only thing you can do is respect her wishes. Maybe if you give her some information in a respectful way she'll change her mind. New mamas are always very protective, maybe overprotective...I have been at times. Try not to take it personally, I doubt she actually looks at you and your kids as diseased rodents! She probably is just looking at her own little one as something to protect at all costs, and even if her cautions are extreme or you disagree with them, you can't blame that sentiment! Granted, I don't know your SIL, but I have known other mamas who had similar concerns and made similar decisions. For them it was a protective mothering act, not malicious or judgmental.
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#10 of 14 Old 12-07-2013, 11:05 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 3LilChunklins View Post
 in her mind the baby will incur full immunity at his 2 month check up.

dust.gif  *magical fairy dust of immunity*   :rotflmao

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#11 of 14 Old 12-07-2013, 01:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
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To the PP, true. But, in this case I don't really mind cutting off my nose to spite my face, so to speak.

Other PPs thank you for your caring words.

Here's what *really* gets me, she's so worried about Dr's orders now, but when the Dr says "Take your prenatal vitamins and quit smoking " she completely disregarded those Dr orders.

I can't help but feel like the Dr isn't even the one who started this. I'd be willing to wager my MIL is the one who started the fear mongering domino effect. My sister told me how my MIL was telling her all about how my kids aren't allowed to see the new baby....

Yea, I'm trying to be more careful who knows we don't vacation. The only reason that SIL knows is because when she was pregnant with her DD,I was encouraging her to do her homework on vaxes before just going with the flow. Funny thing is she let us all visit her in the hospital and hold her DD when she was just hours old.

To me this is as stupid as saying, "well since you smoke, I might catch cancer from you, even if you don't smoke around me. So your not allowed around me and my family "

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And expecting #5 in Nov. 2014 heartbeat.gif
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#12 of 14 Old 12-07-2013, 01:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My phone is being stupid! I meant vaccinate, not vacation in my PP. LMBO!!

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And expecting #5 in Nov. 2014 heartbeat.gif
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#13 of 14 Old 12-07-2013, 03:56 PM
 
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Be careful, people may start accusing you of being an anti-vacationer!! LOL
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#14 of 14 Old 12-07-2013, 03:57 PM
 
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I wish someone else's vacation would shed onto me right now!!! (Okay, done now LOL)
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