When Did You Start Feeling Comfortable with Your Decision? - Mothering Forums
I'm Not Vaccinating > When Did You Start Feeling Comfortable with Your Decision?
boigrrrlwonder's Avatar boigrrrlwonder 03:44 AM 04-16-2008
I go back and forth on whether I want to selectively vax or not. Currently, I don't vax at all - and I suspect that this may be the best decision for my family. But there's this nagging voice of doubt constantly. How long did it take you to be comfortable with your decision? What helped you get there?

~Charlie's~Angel~'s Avatar ~Charlie's~Angel~ 10:12 AM 04-16-2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by boigrrrlwonder View Post
I go back and forth on whether I want to selectively vax or not. Currently, I don't vax at all - and I suspect that this may be the best decision for my family. But there's this nagging voice of doubt constantly. How long did it take you to be comfortable with your decision? What helped you get there?
It seemed like it took me a long time. But really, it was RIGHT after my sons 4 month shots that I started reading. Within a WEEK, I was 95% sure I was done, but still had that lingering feeling. (that would be the well conditioned robot in me that our government has so graciously instilled in all of us) And even after his 6 month visit, when he DIDNT get any shots, and I felt soooooo releived when we left. But then wouldnt you know it, the NEXT DAY, he has this horrible cough, that is still lingering. The whole time I was PRAYING it didnt turn out to be whooping cough. It has been a little over two weeks now, and no Whoop, so I think we are in the clear. But I think it takes a long time to get over how conditioned we are. Plus main stream media's fear mongering doesnt help! Keep reading. Keep reading horror stories of vaccine injured children, if you can stand it, and each time you will feel better about your decision. And when your kids turn ten and have never had more then a cold, you will take a BIG sigh of relief!
CanidFL's Avatar CanidFL 02:26 PM 04-16-2008
I was pretty much 99% sure I wasn’t going to vax after a couple months of research. I started off wanted to create a delayed/selective schedule and just couldn’t find any vaccines that were safe enough to add to my schedule. So then I was left with not vaxing. I was scared of the diseases and did some research on those. I would say about 6 months into my research I was very comfy with not vaxing and got to the point where I could educate others off the top of my head.

I still read about vaccines all the time because I find the whole topic fascinating.

Just remember that you can always vax later if you want but you can’t take out a vax that has already been given.
thefragile7393's Avatar thefragile7393 02:30 PM 04-16-2008
As soon as I realized that listening to my gut was the best thing for him. This took me a while, 6 mo, but once I did I felt an immense relief.
guestmama9944's Avatar guestmama9944 04:49 PM 04-16-2008
I decided to stop vaxxing sometime after the 12-month visit. I wish I'd had looked into it earlier but that being said I didn't have "looming" WBV's ahead so it gave me some time to research and be comfortable saying "No" or "Yes, they're as up-to-date on their vaccines as they need to be" As a PP said, I started out wanting to vax selective/delayed, but as I kept searching I realized several things - there were no vaccines that I felt comfortable giving my children - the diseases I was "protecting" them from were either incredibly rare, ridiculously mild, a little of both, or the vaccine wasn't all that effective anyway. It gets easier as your kids get older; when they're small you're always wondering if something that should be "mild" is going to turn into something more serious. We're conditioned that way, whether it be culture or just being a mom.

But I do know one thing: I'm much more comfortable with my decision not to vaccinate when I think of what the alternative would be :
rmzbm's Avatar rmzbm 04:55 PM 04-16-2008
The second I started researching, it became obvious no vaxes were the best choice VERY quickly.
zinemama's Avatar zinemama 05:08 PM 04-16-2008
My unvaxed (except for hib) child is 5. I still have moments of panic about this and that. I know it's completely irrational and it always goes away and it isn't often. But it happens.
alegna's Avatar alegna 05:13 PM 04-16-2008
I researched vax by vax and by the time I decided not to do any I was 100% comfortable.

No regrets.

-Angela
katiesmom's Avatar katiesmom 05:45 PM 04-16-2008
Actually, what made me feel the most comfortable was learning how to diagnose and treat the VPDs. None of them are a death sentence, especially in healthy children. I also realized that I don't worry about scarlet fever, or croup. Both are also pretty bad, but we're just brainwashed to freak about the ones there are vaxes for!
abomgardner417's Avatar abomgardner417 06:00 PM 04-16-2008
I stopped vaxing after 6 mo. It wasn't until they were a year old that I really started to feel more comfortable and it was mainly just because they were getting older. I think, for me, having a sick tiny baby is scarier than having a sick toddler so as each month passed I became more certain that they're little immune systems were handling things just fine w/o vaxes screwing them up. I still have moments of panic, like when they both had roseola and had extremely high fevers. I didn't know what it was at the time and I was thinking 'OMG, I should have had them vaxed for this and that'. But like a pp said, it's only an instant of panic and then you're sure again that you're doing the right thing.
Snowflower's Avatar Snowflower 06:30 PM 04-16-2008
Learing about the diseases and how to treat them. People get sick- vax or no vax. The word 'neurotoxin' makes me much more uncomfortable than the thought of her getting sick.
Livviesmom0207's Avatar Livviesmom0207 06:40 PM 04-16-2008
Once I did the research..DD is 14.5 months and I'm very comfortable. If she gets a VPD, I'll treat it. I'd rather not put poison into her little body just in case.
Birdof1985's Avatar Birdof1985 03:35 AM 04-17-2008
I felt comfortable when i was pregnant. DS got all his shots, DD1 stopped at 6m due to numerous reasons and i never got them after that. i didnt even want DD2 to get them at birth but DH insisted and in the end i was fine with it. It was only 2, technically 1. DH wants delayed/sel, i dont want any. i do go back and forth as to which, but i have no problem telling people that as of right now- no doctor or nurse will be sticking any of my children with needles.
~Charlie's~Angel~'s Avatar ~Charlie's~Angel~ 09:41 AM 04-17-2008
All I have to do is think back to the two times my DS did get vaxxed, at 2 and 4 months, and how SICK i felt afterwards. He cried and cried, and for what? and right before 4 months he was soooooooo talkative and actually mimmicking us with UH OHs. Then after the vaxes, NOTHING. Still makes me sick to think about. We recently had a whooping cough scare, but 2.5 weeks later, no Whoop, and I feel better. hes "talking" again and sitting up. So I KNOW I made the right choice.
mommaof5's Avatar mommaof5 05:53 PM 04-17-2008
For me it is always a process. Sometimes I find myself thinking about it and feeling concerned. When I find myself in this place I go back to the research. Knowledge is power. In the begining it was a feeling but now it is the feeling and the research. I guess with my other children that are vaxed I thought those illnesses they were vaxed for were illnesses they could die from. After researching I have found that just is not the case. I remember my daughters crying when getting their shots and me thinking, this is what is best for them. Even though I never felt good about it while it was happening. It only took me until baby number five to finally listen to that feeling.
Oh well, live and learn.
a(TM)?Star's Avatar a(TM)?Star 07:31 PM 04-17-2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by katiesmom View Post
Actually, what made me feel the most comfortable was learning how to diagnose and treat the VPDs. None of them are a death sentence, especially in healthy children. I also realized that I don't worry about scarlet fever, or croup. Both are also pretty bad, but we're just brainwashed to freak about the ones there are vaxes for!

:
Gitti's Avatar Gitti 10:46 PM 04-17-2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by boigrrrlwonder View Post
How long did it take you to be comfortable with your decision? What helped you get there?
Somehow I become comfortable real quickly. DD started talking about it. We started looking at the information together...but from the very beginning I felt this was the best route to take and I felt like a release from some weird uptight knot in the stomach, queasy feeling that I got every time she took him in for shots.

Before she mentioned that maybe we should look at the issue I didn't even know that feeling was there. But as soon as we read one book I felt it leave. And then it was just a matter of reading more books and looking at information here and in other ways but I knew deep down we were done with vaccines.

The reason why it came so quickly was because my own kids didn't have many vaccines (I was too lazy to take them in all the time) and they did just fine. Then also I had had all the childhood illnesses and I knew first hand that they were not what the heck they were making them out to be. I never knew one friend who died from them and in my generation everybody had them. So it wasn't that difficult to see that they are just trying to sell some product and use very clever and sleazy marketing.

Get yourself the book from Aviva Jill Romm: Healthy Babies healthy children, it will give you a lot of confidence in dealing with a sick child. Then you won't worry so much.
boigrrrlwonder's Avatar boigrrrlwonder 02:17 AM 04-18-2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gitti View Post
Get yourself the book from Aviva Jill Romm: Healthy Babies healthy children, it will give you a lot of confidence in dealing with a sick child. Then you won't worry so much.
Thank you for recommending that. I think that's really what I need: to become more confident with dealing with her when she's sick in general.
Jasmyn's Mum's Avatar Jasmyn's Mum 03:39 AM 04-18-2008
The more research I did, the more I compared dd to her vaccinated friends, the more I learned about these diseases and how to treat them, the more I understood the immune system, the more I listened to my intuition...the more I did all of that, the more comfortable I became.
HeidiMcD's Avatar HeidiMcD 12:31 AM 04-20-2008
After all of my research, I know in my gut that it's right for us not to vax, but because it isn't the norm for many parents, I still doubt. Not enough to switch though! The best thing for us has been having our parents and grandparents support our decision not to vax, which surprised me. I thought the older generations would push for vaxing but it turns out they're very much about healthy living instead. Yay!

I find though that there are still many things about our AP decisions that I doubt from time to time, but it's just my insecurities and as my baby grows my confidence does as well.
danaan's Avatar danaan 06:41 PM 04-24-2008
I think it is healthy for us to wonder, and to keep checking with outbreaks, research, etc. I would be concerned for someone who is 100% certain... beacuse life is uncertain, and it's hard to know for sure.

What helps me is coming back here, and reading more here and elsewhere. My GP's calm support helps. Sometimes I feel very alone with my decision - dh supports it but would vax were it not for me. My other relatives all vax. Many of my AP friends selectively vax. I am still waiting. I may do some vax's when dd is older (like school age), like tetnus and maybe chick pox if she hasn't gotten it yet. But for now, I feel very solid in my decision up to this point.

I think it also helps to have the support of an educated naturopath. My GP is an osteopath, but she could refer me if I needed help treating for something homeopathically, etc. As much as we get frustrated with the medical world, we do need docs (IMO) and having supporting and educated ones is invaluable.
mom_of_boys's Avatar mom_of_boys 03:53 AM 04-30-2008
I researched until I was blue in the face while pregnant with my first. I still went a head and got his 2 & 4 month shots (prevnar) guess I was still unsure of my decisions. My son reacted to his 2mth shot & I still went ahead with the 4 month series as soon as he got the needle I became 1000% sure of my choices re: vaccines. He hasn't received any vax since & DS2 hasn't been vaxed at all.

Do your research and then come to a decision that is right for you and your family ((hugs))
SammysMama's Avatar SammysMama 09:52 PM 04-30-2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by danaan View Post
I think it is healthy for us to wonder, and to keep checking with outbreaks, research, etc. I would be concerned for someone who is 100% certain... because life is uncertain, and it's hard to know for sure.
:

I get comfortable with my decision when I see our little friend with ASD who's same age as my daughter but developmentally sooo different. When I read articles on immunity and meeting others who don't vax their kids or pets it gives me more courage.

I still get scared, especially when dd eats junk food with grandparents but there are many diseases other than "vaccine preventable" ones
ElkMtnsMama's Avatar ElkMtnsMama 02:14 PM 05-01-2008
Before my daughter was conceived. I had done quite a bit of research, and DH and I talked about this issue pretty early on. I don't believe, though, that feeling comfortable with the decision is a reason or excuse to end your study, either of the vaccines or of the diseases they are supposed to prevent. There is always more to learn, and the more responsibility we take for the decisions in our lives, the greater our duty to understand the issues surrounding them.
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