MIL is asking if she's getting shots at her WBV.... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 10 Old 04-16-2008, 11:33 AM - Thread Starter
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She's just trying to be nice, and add to the converstaion. She has no idea that we aren't vaccinating. What is a good thing to say............BTW, saying something like "We don't discuss about our children's medical information, blah blah." isn't going to work. I really like her, so I don't want to sound rude.

: Mama to ds (5) and dd (3) and .
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#2 of 10 Old 04-16-2008, 11:46 AM
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How about, "I don't know yet; we're going to discuss it with the doctor." And change the subject.

And after the appointment, if she asks, you can say "now some doctors are recommending delaying vaccinations, because of the autism scare." And change the subject.

Eventually, though, you may need to just be honest and say that you're not vaccinating and explain why.
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#3 of 10 Old 04-16-2008, 12:48 PM
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If she doesn't ask often, we just say "Not this time." or "Not yet". That generally only works on random people who ask though.

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#4 of 10 Old 04-16-2008, 01:01 PM
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When I got this question from my MIL, I tested the waters by saying “we have decided to delay for a couple years and our doctor said that is a good idea”. She was very open to the idea so over the past few months, I have educated her more and more about vaccines and she is pretty much agreeable which is a HUGE shock. She is a nurse. I think she thinks at some point we will do them but it doesn’t come up much anymore and she seems satisfied with our reasons.

My advice would be test the water with a simple “I have decided to delay them until LO is older” and see where she stands with that. If she keeps pressing about why you are delaying then just say something like you want to research it a bit more since the schedule has 36 shots now and when you were a kid, you only got 10 so something seems off. That is pretty hard to argue with.
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#5 of 10 Old 04-16-2008, 01:05 PM
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I'd say no...if she gets upset I would't discuss it with her again.

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
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#6 of 10 Old 04-17-2008, 04:10 AM
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We say, "He has all the shots he needs," which is true, b/c he doesn't "need" any.
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#7 of 10 Old 04-17-2008, 11:03 AM
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My MIL is pretty open. I told her we don't vax...she "worries" sometimes but it's only because she really cares and not because she's trying to convince me to do anything. (she's a huge worrier in general)

I guess it depends on your relationship with her and how you feel she may react. I would probably either say "No, I'd like to research a bit more before we we'll be waiting a while" or go the "All the shots they need" route.

Good luck!
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#8 of 10 Old 04-22-2008, 01:57 AM
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We're very honest with our parents about our choosing not to vax. I've always been more than willing to answer their questions or provide them any information.. In return we ask that they all respect our choice. We have expressed that we will not discuss it unless they research some and understand why we are choosing not to do it.

I've found that when you are very confident in your decisions they will respect your choice, or at least back off. Get them a copy of The Thoughtful Parent's Guide if all else fails.
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#9 of 10 Old 04-22-2008, 11:26 PM
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My MIL asked in the past if our DD got shots when she went to the ped. I said not this time. It was the truth. I don't volunteer any info. She isn't the parent and it isn't up to her to decide.

Mama to 3 amazing girls
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#10 of 10 Old 04-30-2008, 11:33 PM
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Do you know for sure that she's completely for vax? Could she be testing the waters with you about non-vaxing and maybe thinks that you are pro-vax? I'm comfortable telling my mil no but maybe you could say you're delaying for now or that you're doing more research and see what her reaction is. If it's bad then you know to go the "we have all we need" route.
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