Why do I have to feel like such a freak? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 9 Old 05-03-2008, 08:57 AM - Thread Starter
 
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This is really just a vent but I'm so tired of feeling like such a loon...to doctors (can't even find one of those right now...), to friends, to family. I'm tired of feeling so 'out there'. As you can see I live with total mainstream everywhere I look. I have to go to a 5 yo's b-day party today and I'm planning a homebirth so that will be annoying discussions... I refuse to lie or not tell people though. Vaxing *will* come up b/c most know I don't 'do that' and that I'm planning to send dd to preschool. The 'what are you going to do' question will come up. I like these women/moms and I feel so 'out there'. I hate it.

Anyone commiserate?
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#2 of 9 Old 05-03-2008, 09:05 AM
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I honestly didn't tell anyone except my doctor. Of course, my son's father knows. But none of our family does. I just don't feel like discussing it with them. And I have to ask, why would your homebirth have to be a topic of discussion at a party for a 5 year old? You can just tell them this is not the time or place to dicuss your impending birth.
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#3 of 9 Old 05-03-2008, 09:15 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh, I don't know, I guess I'm too chatty/open. I just can't keep my mouth shut. I feel as if I'm condoning the idea that I'm 'doing something wrong' if i'm not willing to share when the subjects come up. These things come up all the time in discussions with other moms..... they just do.
As for the 5yo bday party....it will be a bunch of moms chit chatting while our kids jump in a bounce house. I'm very pregnant and birth plans will come up... These aren't busybody women...they're really nice and smart and caring. They won't debate with me or make rude comments....most likely they'll be fascinated and curious. It's *me* that will feel like a freak. I just wish the things I did/do wouldn't be so 'out there' to most people.
just venting. sorry!
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#4 of 9 Old 05-03-2008, 11:36 AM
 
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There are very few people that know of our decision to not vaccinate, some of those people don't agree, like my mom, but I don't make it public knowledge. Just ignore them, and bask in knowing that you are much more informed than them.

: Mama to ds (5) and dd (3) and .
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#5 of 9 Old 05-03-2008, 05:16 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by i*wish View Post
This is really just a vent but I'm so tired of feeling like such a loon...to doctors (can't even find one of those right now...), to friends, to family. I'm tired of feeling so 'out there'. As you can see I live with total mainstream everywhere I look. I have to go to a 5 yo's b-day party today and I'm planning a homebirth so that will be annoying discussions... I refuse to lie or not tell people though. Vaxing *will* come up b/c most know I don't 'do that' and that I'm planning to send dd to preschool. The 'what are you going to do' question will come up. I like these women/moms and I feel so 'out there'. I hate it.

Anyone commiserate?
I totally hear you The majority of my friends are uber mainstream except my bff who is on mdc

my suggestion would be to find someone IRL that understands you and shares your views....so you can share with that person. I would keep your mainstream friends somewhat out of the loop. They wont get it
I've learned to keep my mouth shut in certain situations because I dont feel like defending my position on vaccines all the time.....people look at me like I have two heads when I tell them some of my views on allopathic meds and nfl stuff......

Here's me I married then we had dd15 , dd11 , ds10 , and then and now we and I blog!
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#6 of 9 Old 05-03-2008, 06:13 PM
 
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I tell anyone who wants to know, but I don't feel I have to defend myself or my decisions either. I do what I do, and don't hide it in an effort to normalize these things. But have NO trouble ending annoying conversations either.
You have NO obligation to discuss or defend...remember that!!

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
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#7 of 9 Old 05-05-2008, 04:05 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by i*wish View Post
Oh, I don't know, I guess I'm too chatty/open. I just can't keep my mouth shut. I feel as if I'm condoning the idea that I'm 'doing something wrong' if i'm not willing to share when the subjects come up. These things come up all the time in discussions with other moms..... they just do.
As for the 5yo bday party....it will be a bunch of moms chit chatting while our kids jump in a bounce house. I'm very pregnant and birth plans will come up... These aren't busybody women...they're really nice and smart and caring. They won't debate with me or make rude comments....most likely they'll be fascinated and curious. It's *me* that will feel like a freak. I just wish the things I did/do wouldn't be so 'out there' to most people.
just venting. sorry!
Congrats on the impending birth.......I am due in Nov, (and still never really got over giving birth in Sep) and I can honestly say when I feel like that, its the hormones. hang in there, There are lots of us outcasts out there who feel just the wway you do!
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#8 of 9 Old 05-05-2008, 08:40 PM
 
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Cast-off over here. Most people don't know about our decisions, except family. And even then, that's too many people IMO. Now I wish no one but dh and I knew. Sadly people question and I feel I have to answer truthfully.

fambedsingle2.gifnovaxnocirc.gifHappy to be a mommy and teacher to D fencing.gif, born 1-17-06 via waterbirth.jpg  and A  blahblah.gif, born 10-6-08 with a homebirth.jpghomeschool.gif

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#9 of 9 Old 05-06-2008, 03:39 PM
 
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I can see why you would feel different, but, I say, be proud that you are! Frankly I think I would brag a bit that your children have very special and unique experiences. That they are able to have gentle births, no drugs, etc etc.

If the topic of vaccines comes up, just explain your viewpoint, no need to argue.....it's such a topic in the news these days that people are nervous about autism, etc etc and it will become more common for people to not vaccinate.

Laura~ wife to my stuntman, Stig, mama to Gavin Rutgar reading.gif(4) and now Wyatt Andreas (1) and 2 little angel1.gif.

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