Pushy ER dr! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 15 Old 06-10-2008, 12:06 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I had to take my son to the ER yesterday (he's fine now) and after waiting for over 6 1/2 hours to see a dr we finally got in. He was sooo pushy about the vaccines. When the nurse first saw my son and asked about the vaccines I just said, "No, he doesn't have any." (I also lied and said we're delaying. Why, I don't know. It just popped out of my mouth.) She was fine with it. As was the second nurse who saw him and asked.

But geesh, the dr wouldn't even LOOK at my son until badgering me about vaccines. I also lied to him and said we were delaying for another year (Maybe because I felt that would be more acceptable than just not vaccinating at all? I don't know. I'm not proud of the lie, but I was exhausted and just couldn't deal.) He acted like I was the biggest idiot in the world. He went on and on about how important they were and was questioning my reasoning, so I finally snapped at him and said "I've done the research, I'm fine with my decision, my mind's not changing. His vaccines are not the issues here. It's not relevant."

Then he went on about how it was relevant because he would have to do a complete workup on my son to rule vpd's out. Apparently his idea of a 'complete workup' is listening to his chest with a stethescope, pressing on his tummy, and looking at his throat and ears.

I was so tired after waiting for such a long time for my son to be seen and I was hungry and hormonal and just didn't need his crap. Grrr. Even my own dr isn't that pushy!

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#2 of 15 Old 06-10-2008, 12:26 AM
 
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Sorry!

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#3 of 15 Old 06-10-2008, 12:28 AM
 
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My friend recently went to the ER with her child because he bumped his head, and the doctor started in about vaccines.

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#4 of 15 Old 06-10-2008, 11:34 AM
 
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Originally Posted by grniys View Post
Then he went on about how it was relevant because he would have to do a complete workup on my son to rule vpd's out.
See, that's the scary part. If you would have said "yep, he's all up to date on the vaxes", there would have been many things they would not have even looked for and might have missed! Ugh!

So sorry about your awful experience. Other than the pushy doctor, were you able to get your DS's health issue resolved or was the ER a waste of time?

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#5 of 15 Old 06-10-2008, 02:43 PM
 
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That's horrible. The dr is a service provider and should be respectful and supportive. His statements were unprofessional and nonscientific, probably to control/manipulate you.

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#6 of 15 Old 06-10-2008, 02:56 PM
 
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Consider yourself lucky. He could have called CPS and had your son put in custody.

That is what nearly happened to me. And my son was never rendered any care.

"The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie, deliberate, contrived and dishonest, but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic."
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#7 of 15 Old 06-10-2008, 04:40 PM
 
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Consider yourself lucky. He could have called CPS and had your son put in custody.

That is what nearly happened to me. And my son was never rendered any care.
How could they have taken her child away? It is not against the law to refuse vaccines for your children.

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#8 of 15 Old 06-10-2008, 05:17 PM
 
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What is the best way to handle this situation? What is the right thing to say?

Once I was hounded by a physicians assistant. He was not a nurse, not a DR. he was a PA. He really came down hard. He asked " why are you putting your child in danger?!!" very loudly. after a few minutes of his badgering I finally said, "look I know my rights and I just came here so you can look at his ears for infection"
I was a new mom and didn't know how to handle it but that seemed to shut him up.

Many months later there was a lawyer who gave a talk on vaccines and he said you only have to say it is your religious belief ( I am in NY) and SAY NOTHING MORE. Don't argue medical stuff with them or mention autism or any thing else that you think might be linked to vaxes.

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#9 of 15 Old 06-10-2008, 05:55 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Genesis View Post
How could they have taken her child away? It is not against the law to refuse vaccines for your children.
This was 1993 for me. Where were you in 1993? Did you know that you had a choice regarding vaccinations for your children in 1993? I did, but the doctor did not care.

It is a red flag as far as the doctor is concerned. In my case, they were also really concerned that I was still nursing a child who was a year old and he was wearing cloth diapers. Those are not against the law. But it drew their attention to me. The fact that my pediatrician was Paul Fleiss, the medical advisor for LLLI did not matter.

The politics of the ER that one goes to and their relationship with CPS will determine what happens.

"The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie, deliberate, contrived and dishonest, but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic."
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#10 of 15 Old 06-11-2008, 10:00 AM - Thread Starter
 
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He was able to get the attention he needed. Turned out he just has an ear infection. But what gets me about the "complete workup" is that the dr didn't do one. He pressed on my son's tummy, listened to his chest, looked at his throat and ears. And this was like 3 minutes after saying he'd need to do a complete workup on my son because he's not vaccinated.

Wow, as for CPS... just wow. For me, not vaccinating honestly is at least in part a religious choice, I just always feel... I dunno when I say it. Like I'll be interogated about my faith or something, and for some reason that bothers me more than being interogated about vaccinating. I think I'll just have to start getting over it and saying it.

If they had called CPS, I would have immediatly called a lawyer and had the highest ranking officer I could find (it was at a naval hospital) down there before the night was over and by the time I got done they would not have taken my son, and I'm not one to be sue happy, but I would have. I know I have the right to refuse vaccines, and I know it's not child neglect or abuse or whatever. Wow. I'm so sorry that some parents have had CPS called!

Oh, and to the person who mentioned his statements were probably to control and manipulate me... I have no doubt you're right. Dr's tend to try to install fear in the parent's and make them think their baby's will die without shots or something. It's sad.

Thanks for the support everyone. I was just so angry at that dr! And I need to work on making sure the word "delaying" doesn't pop out of my mouth immediatly.

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#11 of 15 Old 06-11-2008, 01:11 PM
 
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I lied when I went to the ER for stitches and said ofcourse my child is up to date. Big Lie. I read somewhere that if you sign all of those forms that they can vaccinate for what they feel they need to. I forgot where I read this. I have heard that they can call CPS also . I have told my husband to always lie if the kids ever got hurt. I just tink you never know what sort of Dr. or nurse you are dealing with. I will always lie about this. If I had to say something in a tough situation I would plead the religious reason. This stuff really bugs me. Will vaccine stuff get easier or harder for famlies like ours ? I keep hoping the 4500 cases that are in the Supreme Court will come to some sort of conclusion in the next couple of years.
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#12 of 15 Old 06-11-2008, 09:42 PM
 
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Sorry you had such a hard time.

For this reason, DH and I also decided that if we ever go to the ER the only thing out of our mouth is "it's against our religion". Nothing more. I can't deal with that crap :
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#13 of 15 Old 06-11-2008, 11:04 PM
 
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I have heard that they can call CPS also
Yes. By law, doctors, teachers, teacher aides, social workers, and daycare providers are obligated to report any kind of suspected child abuse or neglect.

Not vaccinating your child is perceived by the medical community as inexcusable neglect.

"The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie, deliberate, contrived and dishonest, but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic."
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#14 of 15 Old 06-14-2008, 10:37 AM
 
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I have not had to go in to the ER , but our dr's office has an after hour clinic that I had to take DD to one night. Our ped. is very understanding about our stance on non-vax and we have no problems. But that night it was a dr we had never seen before and we went round and round in his office over the vax debate. I was so upset here sat my poor little girl sick and not feeling good and this jerk of a doctor wanted to talk politics with me. Finally I got so upset I found a nurse that knew us and she got things moving. This is why now I will only see our dr unless it is a MAJOR emergency.
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#15 of 15 Old 06-14-2008, 03:56 PM
 
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Will vaccine stuff get easier or harder for famlies like ours ? I keep hoping the 4500 cases that are in the Supreme Court will come to some sort of conclusion in the next couple of years....
Vaccine cases are heard by a special court - "vax court", so it is not going to be heard any time soon by the Supreme Court.

There have been vax cases before the Supreme Court as early as 1905, Jacobson versus Massachusetts 197 US 11, 25, so it would not be new.

http://content.nejm.org/cgi/content/...ef&siteid=nejm

"The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie, deliberate, contrived and dishonest, but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic."
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