Do you have a supportive family? - Mothering Forums

View Poll Results: Do you have a supportive family?
Yes 63 41.72%
No 39 25.83%
Other 49 32.45%
Voters: 151. You may not vote on this poll

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#1 of 59 Old 08-04-2008, 08:51 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I always wonder if other non-vaxers have a supportive family. My ILs and my parents generally support our parenting decisions and the more they are learning, the more they are also supporting our decision to not vax. I think they may have a few concerns, but over all do support us.

What about you?
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#2 of 59 Old 08-04-2008, 10:11 AM
 
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My inlaws support our decision not to vax completely. My family is on the fence I guess you could say. They never make any negative comments about it but are concerned. Overall though, I believe they are more supportive of our decision then against it.

single mommy to identical twin girls (3/06) Non-traditional mama just : through life.
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#3 of 59 Old 08-04-2008, 11:58 AM
 
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I voted other...my sister works for a Chiro and talked about them not doing any vax. She brought it up again the day after my baby was born & nurses over heard that & went off to say that "babies have to get the Hep B before they can leave the hospital" and never got to the part about exempts.
My MIL is crazy...she started out saying that they want to give babies too many shots, then she brings up all the time about how her babies were sick & it was no fun to have a sick baby....and I had to remind her we got our baby vaxed 2, 4 and 6 mos. appt. & wish I did not do them knowing what I know now.
From now on I am telling her that we are getting the "required" ones but not the "recommended" ones.

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#4 of 59 Old 08-04-2008, 11:59 AM
 
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Yes. Though not right at first.

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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#5 of 59 Old 08-04-2008, 12:47 PM
 
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Other. They have no idea we don't vax.

Actually my MIL thinks we are delaying and she supports that.
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#6 of 59 Old 08-04-2008, 12:51 PM
 
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My mom mostly is... But only because DS has a brain malformation so I use that as my "excuse". My nephew is not vaxed either, I guess our mom knows, but she hasn't said anything to my sister either. The rest of our extended family doesn't really know because it just hasn't come up.

I think our mom is much, much more worried about that fact that DS and DN have foreskins.

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#7 of 59 Old 08-04-2008, 02:33 PM
 
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I said other because it's really half/half. My in laws would be considered completely supportive, my husband and MIL were raised with no vax. So, it's not really a matter of support, just a matter of expectation to not vax.

My family is an entirely different matter, my dad has always not trusted the medical field, as a nurse, he'd seen too much to believe everything people tell him. He's okay with our choice. My mom and stepmom however, are both nurses who've totally bought into the medical model, and they are horrified that we don't vax, don't use antibiotics regularly, we don't even use pain meds. So it's just not up for conversation.

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#8 of 59 Old 08-04-2008, 10:59 PM
 
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I voted "other" because they don't know we don't vaccinate. I don't know whether they would be supportive or not if we gave them enough info, but I'm not willing to take the chance.

You can't take back a vaccine given, and you can't take back info that you don't vaccinate.
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#9 of 59 Old 08-04-2008, 11:09 PM
 
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They have no choice but to be supportive.

I have spent many hours doing research on the subject...if they are not willing to educate themselves then there is no arguement.
To come to me and state ...well my doctor said...doesn't cut it...I don't get arguements from anyone.

I have the healthest child in the family.

My husband is very supportive, his family questioned it at first but support the decision.
My family didn't at first and i believe some are still a little doubtful, but overall have never argued the point.
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#10 of 59 Old 08-04-2008, 11:09 PM
 
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My family knows that our decisions are based on scientific data not fear. My mom read Mendelson's book and was so relieved that we didn't vaccinate.
She had all the illnesses as a kid, I had most. She knows they are no bigg deal.
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#11 of 59 Old 08-05-2008, 03:08 PM
 
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Other, because my part of the family believes I am "delaying" (sure, FOREVER....) and his side of the family doesn't know we don't vax. They might have an idea but nobody is grilling us. Whenever we talk about well-baby-visits, I talk a lot about weight, height, development yaddayaddayadda, how happy the PED is with his overall development-and that is true, one of the healthiest kids of the practice.

If my family knew they would DEFINITIVELY NOT be supportive, same goes for his family. I avoid the topic and don't swallow any "bait"" thrown my way. And so far DH was awesome going along with that- our decisions, we are not debating them.

There is defintely something said for keeping the vax status to yourself- most people are not even willing to listen, or even read a recommended book- they are stuck in "vaxes are the next best thing to sliced bread" and most folks I know refuse to even do research. To most non-vaxers are some monoric idiots that are to "lazy" to take their kid to the Doc for "their shots" and we are some kind of parasites of society taking advantage of "herd immunity"-yeah right. Somebody with that mindset is not willing to even look into the ingrediants of vaxes-therefore debating anything is useless.

I have a supportive Ped, that's pretty important. THe rest of our family's should just enjoy DS, not worry about parenting decisions that are not their's to make in the first place.
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#12 of 59 Old 08-05-2008, 03:24 PM
 
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My family is all non-vax, the in-laws are S&D vax (I think only the tetanus).

Hahaha, our families would probably freak out if we did vax.

Mama to expecting Babe 2
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#13 of 59 Old 08-05-2008, 03:28 PM
 
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My dad called me up after ds was born to (gently) make sure that he was not going to be vaxed! So he's very supportive. I don't think my mom knows, though.
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#14 of 59 Old 08-05-2008, 04:22 PM
 
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The only family that count, namely my husband (for future kids, and for supporting my decision with my dd), and dd's dad, are both very supportive. I think that if I decided to vax, my dh would assume I'd done the research, ask me a few questions, and respect my choice. But to vax dd, I'd have to do a lot of convincing of my ex (we make big decisions together, and we view vaxing as a big decision.)

My sister is supportive, my dad doesn't know (but he works for a pharmaceutical company, so I probably wouldn't want to know his opinion!) And I'm sure my husband's family and my ex's family would flip.

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#15 of 59 Old 08-05-2008, 09:45 PM
 
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I voted other. They don't really support it, (as in they don't like it) but they don't not support it either. It's not talked about. They don't like it, but repect us as parents. (and know that they would likely have very little access to him if they did.)

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#16 of 59 Old 08-05-2008, 09:50 PM
 
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I voted other because I don't think they have an opinion. We are definitely the only ones that don't vax, but my kids are older and it is patently obvious that they are strong, healthy, happy, well adjusted children, so there really isn't much they can say.

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#17 of 59 Old 08-06-2008, 12:07 AM
 
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My immediate family (mom & dad) definetly are. The rest I'm not entirely sure who 'knows' we don't vax. I think my grandparents and aunt do and I'm not sure what they think, though they've never said anything. Nor has DH's family, though, once again, I'm not sure who knows what on that side.
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#18 of 59 Old 08-06-2008, 11:15 AM
 
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My parents are somewhat supportive of this decision.. I said somewhat because they are SO brainwashed to think doctors are the know it all but they are coming around. I have proven to them time and time again that doctors don't know everything and that I have done my research and I'm happy with it. I'm also a nurse so they assume I was taught everything I need to know in school (why do people think this about anyone educated in a field?~ It's all about hands on experience in healthcare) Anyway, my mom has seen how he can be fine around sick children. She knows he hasn't had any illnesses so far in his 16 mo of life and she is very impressed as she is a teacher. Her friend's daughter also had a son at the same time I did and he is ALWAYS sick with ear infections or some sort of cold and constant runny nose even when he isn't sick (this kid is fully vax on schedule). If she didn't have a kid my DS's age to compare with, I doubt she would be as understanding.
My DH's side is very supportive because DH had a vax reaction when he was younger that I discovered while researching his old medical records (his mom kept every file). Also, these people are from back in the day when they got measles and polio and lived to tell about it *gasp*.
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#19 of 59 Old 08-06-2008, 08:10 PM
 
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Other. DH is, but he refuses to do any research himself which scares me.
My parents....worry but say nothing. His family....likely thinks I'm nuts and buy into whatever docs say and it's just not discussed anymore, although his parents have said nothing either way to me and I appreciate that....they've actually never said anything about parenting choices. I'm very fortunate.

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#20 of 59 Old 08-06-2008, 08:24 PM
 
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Other. DH is supportive, and basically leaves it up to me to make the decisions.

It's just never really come up with my family that we selective/delay. I had a conversation with my gram about it, and she was supportive (or as she put it, "She's so little, and you're still breastfeeding her anyway, right? She'll be fine". But, I don't think it's come up with my parents. I don't know which way they would go - I was fully vaxed, but, of course, back then there weren't as many vaxes, and certainly not for things like chicken pox.

I have not said a word to DH's parents because his mom is always looking for an excuse to call CPS and/or sue for grandparental rights (she's threatened many times ). Besides, his mom thinks vaccines, antibiotics, and c-sections are the holy trinity of medicine. I've no doubt she'd be UNsupportive.
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#21 of 59 Old 08-06-2008, 09:37 PM
 
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Other. My family is pretty supportive. They may not agree but they don't give me grief about it. My MIL has no idea. She's a former nurse and one of those that believe that a doctor is a god and anything a doctor says is law. She would spin around like the Exorcist if I ever told her. Luckily, she's pretty self-centered and clueless and never even thinks to ask if DS goes to the doctor for well visits and things like that.

Mama to 2 sweet gorgeous children, a 4-year-old DS and a 1-year-old DD.
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#22 of 59 Old 08-06-2008, 10:00 PM
 
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I'm going with "Mostly" on this one. My parents trust my judgement. They are wonderful. And since the *ahem* "discussion" about homebirth before DS was born, my in-laws came to realize just how stubborn and pig-headed I really am and that they'll likely never change my mind about anything. And I'll never change their minds. Having established that, we get along pretty well!!

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#23 of 59 Old 08-07-2008, 12:09 PM
 
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I voted other. It's mixed. My parents just say, you raise your kid how you want to raise your kid. They don't really say much about it. My MIL is the same, however, she's dropped a few "hints" that she thinks vaxing is safer. My sister is a whole-hearted believer in vaccinating, and both of her kids are fully vaxed, but we just don't talk about it.

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#24 of 59 Old 08-07-2008, 05:10 PM
 
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My DH is NOT supportive, all we do is argue about it or he seemingly ignores me when I try to point things out If we were able to have rational discussions, it would probably be a lot better, but in 2 years that has not happened.

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#25 of 59 Old 08-07-2008, 06:06 PM
 
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I haven't told my family that we are not vaccinating. I'm scared my parents will talk me into it and shun me fromt he family and i don't want to tell my sil's because i'm afraid they won't let their lo's play with my ds:
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#26 of 59 Old 08-07-2008, 06:35 PM
 
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My MIL is a firm believer in the autism/vaccine connection and is totally fine and supportive with our "waiting"- we've decided to wait at least 1 year, but it may be indefinitely.

However, my parents have called me up and got on my case about it. My mom's mom had polio and "You don't think she called us to make sure you had your shots?" Well, just because grandma was nosey, it doesn't mean you have to be also. They also tried to tell me that my mother loves my daughter more than I do and since she loves my daughter more, I should listen to her about vaccinations.

Meanwhile, my parents also got my 19 year old brother on my case about it. UGH!

Mommy to DD March 2008, DS July 2010
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#27 of 59 Old 08-07-2008, 10:14 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TopHat View Post
My MIL is a firm believer in the autism/vaccine connection and is totally fine and supportive with our "waiting"- we've decided to wait at least 1 year, but it may be indefinitely.

However, my parents have called me up and got on my case about it. My mom's mom had polio and "You don't think she called us to make sure you had your shots?" Well, just because grandma was nosey, it doesn't mean you have to be also. They also tried to tell me that my mother loves my daughter more than I do and since she loves my daughter more, I should listen to her about vaccinations.

Meanwhile, my parents also got my 19 year old brother on my case about it. UGH!

My dad tried that with my brother- my brother warned me that he was supposed to "talk some sense into me"- little bro told me that that was supposed to be his mission. Then my dad came and never mentioned it, great. Just send you son first.:
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#28 of 59 Old 08-08-2008, 01:17 AM
 
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I voted No, cause:
My moms parents are both hardcore MDs, and her brother (my uncle) is also married to an MD. My whole family takes pills for any little discomfort, cause they so much believe in the wonders of western medicine. They would be horrified if they'd new DD is not vaxed. Frankly, I am even afraid of telling them. It is so much against what they believe in.

DH is supportive though. Which is whats important, right?

Sophie

Sophie, wife to DH, AP mama to DD1 (12/07) and DD2 (04/10)
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#29 of 59 Old 08-08-2008, 02:02 PM
 
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Absolutely.

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#30 of 59 Old 08-08-2008, 05:25 PM
 
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My parents were fricking out at the beggining, but after they made their own research, they support me 100%

My in-laws don't know what are we doing, so I guess they assume he is getting his vaccines
Well, they know we were delaying the decision, since they knew the doctor approved, they were ok, we havent' notify them we are not vaccinating at all.

It helps that they live in another country so we are pretty much on our own
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