Should we even bother getting a pedi? - Mothering Forums

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Old 09-22-2008, 05:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Our first baby is due in four weeks and I haven't started looking yet. I think a large reason for this is I've read nothing but horror story after horror story about ignorant, close-minded pediatricians who are completely uninformed about things like co-sleeping, bfing, non-vaxing, etc. Some of these doctors even threaten to report parents to CPS. The ones who aren't openly dangerous are often condescending bullies.

I'm sure there are great peds out there but reading about positive experiences with them is so, so rare. What's the point?

Does a child need a pediatrician? What happens if we don't hire one? Can't we just find a good, old school family practitioner and see him as our family doctor?

Any advice is much appreciated.

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Old 09-22-2008, 06:00 PM
 
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I really wouldn't bother with a pedi unless you happened to know a great one. Find a good family practitioner or naturopath and stick with him/her. FP's are usually much less intense on pushing vaxes.

OT warning: if you're having a boy make sure ahead of time that they know NOT to mess with his penis AT ALL! Both of my boys (different Dr's even) tried to pull their foreskin "gently" back, when they should not even be touching it.
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Old 09-22-2008, 06:17 PM
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You could find a family dr or a general practitioner instead. We do have a ped, though it took us 4 tries to find the right one. It was well worth it though. He didn't bat an eye when I brought my then 9 month old in and said I thought he had allergies because he was wheezing and having trouble breathing, intead he tested him for environmental allergies. Also thought it was the best thing in the world that I was nursing past 2yo, especially given my oldest's food allergies. And when my oldest was hospitalized at 14 months for an asthma attack our ped didn't say one word when we told him that we would not be needing the hospital crib since we co-slept. Just said we'd have to sign a waiver and wrote it into our admitting orders and then gave us his private phone number and told me to call him if the nurses gave us any grief whatsoever. And no grief when I said our youngest was going to be born at home, in fact he told me he thought it was great. No hassles again about BFing, not even telling me that I wouldn't be able to or any of that crap even though my youngest was born at 10lbs 10oz. Fully on board with waiting until at least 6 months to start solids. No hassles at all about stopping vaxes for my oldest and not doing vaxes for the youngest. Never once had to worry or stop him from retracting either son either, never even had to mention not to.

All this to say that yes, there are peds out there that do listen to and respect the parents and that do support alternate choices. And are they ever worth their weight in gold!!
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Old 09-22-2008, 06:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the warning! We're not circing either and I did read that stickied thread in the circumcision forum about retraction.

I plan to print out this AAP pamphlet and bring it with me to our first appointment just in case. I guess I'm going to be "that mom" after all...

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Old 09-22-2008, 06:21 PM
 
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Pediatrican or Family practitioner, doesn't really matter. But yes, I think you should start looking now for someone you like and respect. Because I guarantee you that one day your baby is going to do something/have some symptom that scares you. And wouldn't you rather have some experience with the person you're going to need to call? If your baby is due in only four weeks, you need to get cracking.

Best wishes for your birth!
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Old 09-22-2008, 06:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by jeanine123 View Post
All this to say that yes, there are peds out there that do listen to and respect the parents and that do support alternate choices. And are they ever worth their weight in gold!!
My goodness, you're not in NYC, are you? I'd love to find someone like that.

I don't mean to denigrate pediatrics as a profession but it just seems like so many people have had negative experiences unless they follow the 100% mainstream path...which isn't really ever going to be the case for us.

Thanks for the glimmer of hope that we could find one though!

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When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty. --George Bernard Shaw

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Old 09-22-2008, 09:02 PM
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No, I'm in California. Have you tried posting in Finding Your Tribe to see if anyone has any leads?
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Old 09-23-2008, 05:29 PM
 
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DD1 went only to alternative care docs until she was 4. The only reason we switched was DD2 did have to have a pedi, she was O2 dependent until she was 7m old. We found an awesome one though, respects my decisions, and never pressures me about anything. They do exist!

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Old 09-24-2008, 05:34 PM
 
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If there's a chance you'll have the baby in the hospital, have someone. Otherwise you'll get smacked with a bill for ridiculous ped visits while you're there. We didn't have anyone, planned a homebirth, and I was suckered into transferring, and we got to pay $500 for 2 couple minute "appointments" where the ped stood at the door and told us to schedule his circ (which we had told him we weren't doing) before he got too old, so he didin't have to use anesthetic. :

So have someone so you can give a name.

Also, eventually your kiddo will likely end up at the ER, and it's always good to have a name to give at those points. Especially if you're not vaxing, b/c they like to know that someone else has approved of what you're doing, even if they don't.

We have an ND for our son. Had to work to find her, b/c the more local ones wanted infants under care with an MD as well. We felt that was unreasonable, and searched some more.

So you might as well find *someone*, if only for those reasons. She was also good to call when I realized DS had a sudden fever b/c he had a febrile seizure while I was holding him...was good to call her and get "professional" advice (get into tepid bath, call back if it doesn't go down, don't worry b/c it means nothing).
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Old 09-27-2008, 01:38 AM
 
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IMHO, peds are just overly focused on WBC,sticking to the Vax schedule, prescribing anti-b's,blah,blah,blah. They,like your typical OB,are intervention-happy,and IME,treat the parent like you know sh*t. But, that is my general opinion of drs,anyway.

Having said that,I think it is important to establish a relationship with a HCP,who is like minded to your parenting style and choices.

I think it is important to have a med dr,who is in tune with you, *just* in case you need the help of a hospital. Better to already know someone,than meet dr. dummy in the ER.

Not that you asked, but I think the best one could do(other than finding the diamond in the rough),would be to find an olderish family dr,who supports your choices and style.

Congrats and good luck!
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Old 09-28-2008, 01:24 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by peainthepod View Post
Our first baby is due in four weeks and I haven't started looking yet. I think a large reason for this is I've read nothing but horror story after horror story about ignorant, close-minded pediatricians who are completely uninformed about things like co-sleeping, bfing, non-vaxing, etc. Some of these doctors even threaten to report parents to CPS. The ones who aren't openly dangerous are often condescending bullies.

I'm sure there are great peds out there but reading about positive experiences with them is so, so rare. What's the point?

Does a child need a pediatrician? What happens if we don't hire one? Can't we just find a good, old school family practitioner and see him as our family doctor?

Any advice is much appreciated.
My ds is 17 months. Last saw a doc (family doc) at 6 weeks. We don't have a ped.

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