Interviewing FP's this week...any advice? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 14 Old 10-01-2008, 12:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
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So far my questions include the obvious things re: vaccination and breastfeeding, as well as care of the intact penis (i.e. no retraction ever, for any reason).

We're not vaccinating (which is why I posted this in the no-vax forum) and I made sure to ask the receptionists whether the practice accepts unvaccinated patients. A few told me no so I didn't make appointments with them, but I have a couple of docs lined up who seem promising. What else should I be on the lookout for?

Thanks, mamas!

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#2 of 14 Old 10-01-2008, 01:23 PM
 
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I'm about to be going through this myself (AGAIN), so I'll be watching this thread with interest.

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#3 of 14 Old 10-01-2008, 04:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Well, I just got back from my first interview. The doctor I met with doesn't see children (despite what his receptionist told me on the phone) and became very irate when I said I preferred to find a FP instead of a pediatrician for my baby. The vaccine issue made him predictably angry, and he actually asked me, "But what about TB?" as if the TB vaccine is even on the schedule. He also said that HepB is a very important vaccine for babies and asked me, "Have you ever seen someone die of tetanus? It isn't pretty." I wanted to ask him if he works mostly with diabetic geriatric patients (you know, the people who die of tetanus) but restrained myself. Le sigh...

Oh well. Next!

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#4 of 14 Old 10-01-2008, 06:18 PM
 
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Sorry it didn't work out. This is the sort of thing that worries me. I have to arrange for child care and transportation for this sort of thing. I can not be getting shot down again and again if doctors' assistants aren't going to be upfront on the phone. Not to mention I DO NOT want to be taking my baby to sick places repeatedly during the cold and flu season. ARGH!!!!!!!

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#5 of 14 Old 10-03-2008, 12:40 AM
 
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What I did when we called practices was say, "We have religious objections to vaccinations. You don't have a problem with that, do you?"

That seems to evoke a very different response than calling and saying we don't believe in vaccinating or we're afraid of the side-effects of vaccinating and ask if that's okay.

When we called with that, the pediatrician herself got on the phone and told me she would just me need to write that in a letter to be included in a file. (She just needed something for her own protection.)

I would be very careful never to elaborate with any reasons for not vaccinating beyond that. But I've discovered very few pediatricians would risk looking like a religious bigot and refusing to respect someone's religious beliefs.
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#6 of 14 Old 10-03-2008, 10:13 PM
 
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What I did when we called practices was say, "We have religious objections to vaccinations. You don't have a problem with that, do you?"
I never thought of doing that!! In our state, we have philosophical exemptions, but I never quite worded it like you stated. I would be willing that would give me different results, and save me alot of energy explaining our deal over and over, when, quite frankly, it's none of their business anyways!

Thanks for the good idea!
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#7 of 14 Old 10-04-2008, 12:26 AM
 
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More than welcome. I, too, started out with lengthy explanations about my children's genetic conditions and the biological link with vaccine reactions. I saved myself so many antagonistic reactions phrasing it that way. It stops most people dead in their tracks. They actually think.
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#8 of 14 Old 10-04-2008, 11:18 AM
 
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To find someone who's really comfortable with me choosing no vaccines, I'd actually just call and say "Do you see unvaccinated patients?" without bringing up the religion part (since some may say it's ok even though they are going to take an attitude about it). I mean, if you feel like you may not have many choices in the area, then I guess I'd do it, but ideally it wouldn't be my first choice.

What do the folks in Finding Your Tribe say? I've gotten good recs there for docs (we actually have a ped now, I am really surprised--our last doc was an FP) who genuinely don't hassle me or even seem disturbed about my vaccination choices.
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#9 of 14 Old 10-04-2008, 12:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We're not religious at all, Purple Cat, but I think your advice is probably the way to go. It's none of their damn business why we don't vaccinate, and the last interview really shook me a bit. The guy was utterly clueless but SO angry about vaccines. I wonder if doctors are warned about people like us nowadays...

Tanya, one of the doctors I'm interviewing in a couple of weeks is someone recommended to me by FYT. She's out of town until the end of October but I have an appointment with her the day she gets back. Let's hope I'm not in labor that day. Thanks for the advice and congratulations on finding a doctor you can work with. I'm envious!

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#10 of 14 Old 10-04-2008, 02:47 PM
 
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Tanya, one of the doctors I'm interviewing in a couple of weeks is someone recommended to me by FYT. She's out of town until the end of October but I have an appointment with her the day she gets back. Let's hope I'm not in labor that day. Thanks for the advice and congratulations on finding a doctor you can work with. I'm envious!
Both times (old city and new) it has been a _huge_ relief to get this over and done with. Best of luck to you!!
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#11 of 14 Old 10-04-2008, 09:40 PM
 
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I, too, was utterly blown out of the water by the intense ire the most innocuous question related to vaccines evoked in pediatricians/health professionals. I started out planning to vaccinate -- I just didn't want to give my 2 month premature babies Hep B on their second day on earth. The intensity of the neonatalogist's outrage when I questioned whether we should wait a day or two -- and her intense, intense browbeating and efforts to pressure me to consent to Hep B that very second, without thinking or reading or talking to everyone -- gave me tremendous pause. And her reaction was typical of the reaction of any pediatrician/nurse practitioner I talked to about vaccines. I would preface the conversation with I believe in vaccinating but just wonder if I should delay some a little because they are preemies and have these issues, blah, blah, blah.

I don't respond well to being yelled at. I don't like walking out of offices physically shaking like a leaf. I learned "religious objections" stopped it all. I read the statute. It's so loose that simply saying, "No, I don't think God would want me to inject a dangerous toxin into my child's body" constituted a legally valid objection.
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#12 of 14 Old 10-05-2008, 09:48 AM
 
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What I did when we called practices was say, "We have religious objections to vaccinations. You don't have a problem with that, do you?"
This is what I would do, too, then only interview the ones who pass this test, so to speak. You could interview A LOT of doctors before you find a no-vax friendly one, so this will save a lot of time and effort on your part to call, then choose from those who accept non-vaxing clients.

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#13 of 14 Old 10-05-2008, 12:02 PM
 
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PurpleCat, if I'd ever been treated like that, I'd probably just go straight to the religious objection reason too. Wow!
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#14 of 14 Old 10-06-2008, 02:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Well, another one bites the dust. This doctor seemed really cool at first so I'm disappointed by how the interview went. He had lots of availability and seemed willing to work with us despite our "religious objections" to vaccination. I was put off when he kept asking us what religion we are; we said it wasn't relevant and he got very pushy.

The real dealbreaker came when he stated that foreskin retraction is "necessary" and that if the foreskin hasn't completely retracted by the time the baby is one year old, a circumcision will be medically necessary (!). When I told him no such circumcision would be done on our son and asked if he would be checking the foreskin during exams, he looked very surprised and said of course, testing the foreskin is a part of any baby exam. He was totally unwilling to bend on this even when I told him that the AAP advises against forcible retraction, and when I asked, "So you would do this exam on our son even though the American Association of Pediatrics explicitly says it's unnecessary and potentially damaging?" he looked me right in the eye and said, "Yes, I would. I would have to examine every part of your child."

Well, that ended that interview. We thanked him for his time and left. It started out so promising, too...what a bummer. I have one more appt. set up but it's not until three weeks from now (the soonest I could get in). Every other doc I've called (and it's been about two dozen at this point) is either not accepting new patients, or not willing to see patients who don't vaccinate.

I'm at my wits' end but there's nothing to do but keep calling around, I guess. Maybe we'll get lucky.

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When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty. --George Bernard Shaw

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