What do you, if anything, tell your friends? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums
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#31 of 41 Old 12-03-2008, 01:51 AM
 
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I'm entirely against vaccinations, and no one judges me for it. In fact, they celebrate it. I only choose to attract people who are in alignment with my beliefs. Because I truly am joyful in my decision, I don't invite judgement.

Just today, a medical doctor did my baby's first well-baby exam. He asked me what I intended to do regarding vaccinations. I said, "no vax." He smiled and whispered, "good. That's what I believe, too."

Don't anticipate that people will judge you. You don't need their approval. Know that you have made the perfect choice for you and your family. When you speak your truth, speak it with a smile. If nothing else, it confuses people.
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#32 of 41 Old 12-03-2008, 05:21 PM
 
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Originally Posted by misraloeb View Post
I'm entirely against vaccinations, and no one judges me for it. In fact, they celebrate it. I only choose to attract people who are in alignment with my beliefs. Because I truly am joyful in my decision, I don't invite judgement.

Just today, a medical doctor did my baby's first well-baby exam. He asked me what I intended to do regarding vaccinations. I said, "no vax." He smiled and whispered, "good. That's what I believe, too."

Don't anticipate that people will judge you. You don't need their approval. Know that you have made the perfect choice for you and your family. When you speak your truth, speak it with a smile. If nothing else, it confuses people.
This deserves a 'yeah, that'.

Since I truly don't care what anyone thinks, and I've already been through CPS hell re: vaccines, I've got no real-time fear about this. It shows. Nobody would dare give me the 'you'll kill your kids' crap, as I'm not going to accept or internalize it. I am 100 percent happy with my 'choice'.
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#33 of 41 Old 12-03-2008, 05:29 PM
 
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Technically, if you say no you aren't lying. Your baby wasn't jabbed with a needle so no they didn't cry. A simple no and that's it.

I don't discuss our non-vax status either. Not even with family.
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#34 of 41 Old 12-05-2008, 03:39 PM
 
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I don't lie, but I don't bring it up either. I'm not the most social person, so the only people who ever ask about it are the people we see at WIC. I immediately say we don't vaccinate and offer nothing further. I'm not going to hide it even though I do have a fear of CPS being called on us for it--which is so stupid when you think about it--but I feel that if I don't let them know that I've made this choice, then I may not be a sheep, but I'd be pretending to be one. And if I did that, I wouldn't be leaving an impression. Just because I don't elaborate doesn't mean I don't leave people wondering why I made my choice. Who knows. Later those ladies may do some research online and learn something. Not saying there's anything wrong with keeping it to yourself. I'd just like people to know where we stand.

I've had enough experience with being controversial after being vegan for 12 years. It teaches you to have thick skin.
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#35 of 41 Old 12-07-2008, 12:01 AM
 
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My kids are older now and they didn't hassle me much in uk to vax. Theyv'e got the usual vax campaigns running here and 'offering' the cervical vax to schoolage girls.I love the pp's idea of the cards and asking the person to do their own research, brilliant. I would lie about vaxing if I had to but never have. Like many I've never offered info on our vax status, like pp says it's private medical info anyway. I love the pp's post, sorry I'm crap with names when I can't go back, absolutely be 100% happy with your decision to not vax and not invite judgement. The fear of illness is pretty heavy in society and I agree we are being judged continously for our parenting choices that don't fit into mainstream ideology. Parents realise pretty quickly their unvaxed kids seem to have fewer colds, snuffles, ear infections etc than a lot of vaxed kids. It's really highly offensive that people, family, friends,aquaintances and complete strangers should wish to convince you that you must inject poisons into your child for the 'good' of the community. I got tired of the shocked and disgusted faces when they discovered mine weren't vaxed.
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#36 of 41 Old 12-07-2008, 04:10 AM
 
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There are a few people (those who are questioning and want to have a real conversation about it) that I would discuss our decision with.

My mom asked me what I was going to do when Kaiya gets smallpox! Yeah, because the smallpox vax is part of the schedule for childhood vaccines. Whoa, mom.

Most of my friends can just guess that I don't vax. We are that family in our little circle and it fits us fine.
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#37 of 41 Old 12-07-2008, 01:27 PM
 
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Thank you, forthebest.

Hey, jakesmama, I just noticed your DS shares my birthday and your DD's birthday is the day before my DD's. What a coincidence.

My mother was a little skeptical too, but only a little. She's learned to trust my judgement by now. She still hesitates sometimes, but she comes around eventually.
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#38 of 41 Old 12-07-2008, 06:30 PM
 
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Originally Posted by milkybean View Post
You are brilliant. I love the business card idea (vistprint here I come) and I can't debate either, but people who CAN always make being flustered seem like you're just wrong.

Thank you!
it doesn't matter if you can debate or not, they will still think you are wrong if thats what they want to think.

I got into a nice talk with my FIL about circing. He just kept yelling "AIDS" and shaking his hands in the air. How do you argue that? Same with the Heb B vax, I told him I didn't have Hep B so the baby didn't need the vax, he responded "but the baby could get Hep B if he's not vaxed" : from where old man? Hookers? Drugies? Babies do hang out with a shady crowd.

I mentioned it the first time to a friend who works in a ped office (she asked me about peds) I said I was looking for a non-vax friendly ped, I was totally ready for the backlash, she just said "hum.. I think the one upstairs will take you, I'll get their number" I was amazed! there are still some people that aren't dumb after all!

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#39 of 41 Old 12-08-2008, 02:53 AM
 
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I don't really tell people unless it comes up, but if it Does come up, I mention we're delaying vaccinations or we're not vaccinating at all...My family hasn't said too much to me about it, they know that I am smart about researching things and not just uneducated about it. My friends are open-minded about it. My SIL just gave birth to a baby and while she was prego i gave her some links on vaccination and Hep B vax, etc, hoping maybe she would consider it. On my facebook, I have pieces of flair and I've joined non-vax groups, so anyone on my friends list there will see I'm proud of not vaxing, and I'd love for them to ask me about why.

And btw, where are these vaccination business cards mentioned earlier in the thread? I'd love some ideas on how to make those...
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#40 of 41 Old 12-08-2008, 05:22 PM
 
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Wow...it kind of saddens me how much we stay "in the closet" about non vaxing...

To tell you the truth...I hadn't thought about it until I started reading this thread. My ds is 28 months...and he's never been vaxed. We knew we weren't going to even before he was born...and searched for peds with that knowledge. We discovered then that it was unusual for people to interview as many peds as we did - with a specific holistic view point. Several peds (not rudely) asked us to leave...they were a bit offended that we'd be interviewing them...

But when it comes to people we know...I don't go shouting it to strangers...but if someone asks, I tell them honestly that we did our research and will not vax our son. Very straight forward and blunt. If they push the conversation on...I suggest that they check up a few websites to see different opinions. Honestly, ever since Jenny McCarthy's books and being on tv...many people are already aware of some issues.

I also do have to admit...that if someone I am comfortable with is pregnant...I do ask them if they want me to send them some info on vaxing. I have done this to several of my co-workers...I insist that I will only ask them once...but if they ever want info on vaccinations or want me to explain why we don't vax...I'd be happy to...but it's not for me to push them one way or the other...I personally think that the information out there does speak for itself. I have a friend that decided to at least do a delayed schedule because of the info I sent her...

But it is very clear from the beginning of a conversation if it's something that someone wants to actual talk about or if they are close minded and don't want to see another view point. If they are close minded...I honestly don't stick around for any conversation let alone one about vaxing
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#41 of 41 Old 12-09-2008, 01:02 PM
 
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I think the issue here really is

"Are you capable of standing up to those who disapprove of your choice(s)?"

B/c if a person is rude and disrespectful, it's easy to check them, unless you're wavering in your choice in the first place.
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