I hate to be such a whiner, but I'm really having a hard time. I don't remember feeling like this at the end of either of my pregnancies. My hands are a mess...swelling and carpal tunnel, I think, but it's causing me to sleep poorly because I wake up and they're either numb or throbbing, and today my pointer finger and middle finger were stuck in a claw for a good hour. My fingertips are now just numb all the time. I've been slightly anemic and I'm just TIRED all. day. long. Every day I wake up and am still tired. I'm torn between wanting this baby out ASAP and feeling like I'm not going to have the energy for a birth anyday soon.
And on top of it, I just feel like I have NO energy or patience for my kids that I already have. They're wanting to go run around the park for hours and I just can't hang and I feel so bad. They are complete destructos lately so I feel like I spend all my time trying to just keep the place remotely picked up, let alone nest.
I had a breakdown last night because I had bought some towels for the birth, and they're complete pieces of crap. They got lint all over everything and I washed them THREE times. The washcloths I bought feel like sandpaper, nothing I want on my baby or my sore hoo ha after the fact. So I'm still not even READY for the dang birth.
Is it normal to feel THIS junky right now? I hate being so complainy and my due date isn't till 12/22. I KNOW it's best to let my baby cook as long as possible, especially since I don't grow big babies...my last was 7lbs 5 oz at almost 40 weeks, and this one was estimated at 5.5-6 lbs last week. Not teeny...but still, it'd be better to put some fat on her. But I'm so miserable. I will stick it out as long as I have to, but dang.
mama to 3 girls: Abigail 2.12.05, Eliana 8.26.06, Willa 1.9.09
RN-BSN 5/11, CBE, former doula