Looking for encouragment - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 8 Old 12-09-2008, 01:34 AM - Thread Starter
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I am due with my second child next week, and I am a little nervious, because it is going to be a home birth! My first (a boy) was the textbook hospital birth, and I wanted something different the second time around. The problem is that I have had the worst year, and it all started about a month after I conceived. My husband of four years (today, happy anniversary) left me and our son, for a married female truck driver. Yes, you heard right. And right now we of course are going through a divorce, and he is living in another state with his fiance. And they are trying to make a baby together all the while I'm alone down here trying to give birth to one. And thats the sugar coated version. Did I mention that he stopped paying child support, because he willingly quit his job to go live with her. So, I am feeling very lonely right now and Christmas is just days away, and then new years all the while dealing with an infant and a toodler on my own. So, when it comes time for the birth of Juliet (it's a girl - PS the first grandaughter for his side of the family who have been waiting for one for over 10 years, they have 7 grandsons) hehehe, she just happens to come now!!! But anyway, any words of encouragement for my birth day, so I don't feel scaried or helpless, or depressed????
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#2 of 8 Old 12-09-2008, 04:05 AM
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I don't really have anything encouraging to tell you other than I"m so sorry that you are having to go through this. I have gone through a divorce with a 2 YO, but I didn't have to deal with what you have on your plate. All I can say about him is (@)^*Q&#T%@#&GIDBSDUYER*{WQY$E(... That was not nice what I just said...but I'm not taking it back. I hope that you have some sort of support. It's not easy going through this alone. And to try not sounding TOO cliche...this will pass and you and your children will be the better for learning and growing through this. If you ever need to talk PM me or email me at jenniferadurham@yahoo.com.

Good luck Momma!!! <<<<<<<<<HHHHHUUUUGGGGGSSSSS>>>>>>>
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#3 of 8 Old 12-09-2008, 04:12 AM
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I am not in your DDC but couldn't help responding. I became single under similar circumstances to yours when I was pregnant with #2 as well. It seems our princes both turned into toads.

I just wanted to let you know that my kids and I all thrived and my birth was pretty wonderful despite the horrible peripheral circumstances.

We mothers can rise to the most intense situations and our kids can bring us such joy and help to keep us grounded amidst the turmoil. I do hope you have some good support people around you and I wish you and your little people all the best. It can be so difficult but so empowering to go it alone.

Remember to draw on the strength of all the women before you who have done this. We are united and you are not alone.
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#4 of 8 Old 12-09-2008, 04:37 AM
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Not in your DDC club but just wanted to tell you to keep your chin up! You can and will have the birth that you want and it's your husband's very great loss to not be a part of it.

You are not alone and hopefully you will feel all of the strength and energy from this list surrounding you and lifting you and your children up.

Husbands may come and go but your children will remain and be forever grateful for having such a wonderful mother!!!

: hug:grouph ug
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#5 of 8 Old 12-09-2008, 06:27 AM
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I also wanted to offer my support. We human beings are incredibly strong and resilient and I am sure you will have the beautiful and peaceful birth that you want and deserve. I truly believe that these sorts of challenges make us stronger and more interesting people. I hope that you will feel the same when you look back on this years from now. Good luck. Be gentle with yourself. :

New mommy 12/12/08.  Living and working in the Pacific Northwest. 
Currently growing number two!
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#6 of 8 Old 12-09-2008, 03:05 PM
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Sending you some hugs, kisses and encouragement as you await the birth of your LO. Such a beautiful name too!

I knew someone who was left by their DP only weeks before the birth. She worked to surround herself with the most caring, supportive women. She had an absolutely beautiful birth . You can absolutely do it, your body was made for this!

Perpetually breastfeeding or pregnant ENFP mom to a lot of kids...wife to a midwestern nice guy...living in tropical paradise...pink cats and homebirths rock!

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#7 of 8 Old 12-09-2008, 04:12 PM
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I just wanted to say I'm so sorry for your troubles and to send you lots of mama-love and strength. Soon you will have your sweet baby girl in your arms and you will gaze at her perfect little face and smell the perfume at the top of her fresh little head and nothing else will really matter. This is your birth, your baby, your family - don't forget what an amazing woman and beautiful woman you are! You can do this!!!

I don't presume to know how hard it is what to be going through all this, but I do feel that the less resentment and anger you have in your heart right now, the easier it will be for you to give yourself the freedom to be happy and have the kind of birth you desire. Put your energy into visualizing a safe, gentle birth and a peaceful, healthy babe. Look after yourself - eat well, exercise, rest, enjoy your time with your other little one.

May you blessed with all the love and support you need.
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#8 of 8 Old 12-09-2008, 07:35 PM - Thread Starter
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Thank you everyone for your words of wisdom. I knew I wasn't alone, but it feels better to hear it from some people who have been there or who know people who have gone through something similar to me. Thanks again
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