***High Risk Mamas Support Thread*** - Page 13 - Mothering Forums

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#361 of 849 Old 09-04-2008, 10:51 PM
 
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Hmm. I'm not sure what I'd do Sage. Probably try to talk to her just a bit about it. I'm not that good at being super direct about this kind of stuff but you can say something like "Oh you know no one is going to clean your house just like you do yourself but there are a few things that really get to me if they aren't clean, do you think you could do a really thorough job in the bathroom, like the tub and behind the tub and such and really make sure to move some of the easy to move furniture, I have a hard time with dust" If she doesn't take it well and work harder than you have an easy answer.

Honestly if the offer for free cleaning is there I'd probably take it but you won't have any choice on how well its cleaned then, and you won't have someone to help you do the end of the season cleaning. Just some things to think about.

I had someone come clean my house once and she did a lousy job, I was really not looking forward to having to hire someone this time but the person I chose does a pretty good job, no one is going to clean just like you do, but in less time she does a way more thorough job than I would and twice as good as the other woman did. If this woman you hired wants this to be her business she does have to learn to take some criticism I think and improve or people won't hire her, so much of a cleaning business is word of mouth.
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#362 of 849 Old 09-04-2008, 11:13 PM
 
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sage, youre a good woman. i say, let the folks who want to come clean, clean. on the sixteenth, see what really is left that needs done. make a list of projects with specific directions for her. you dont have to say, you did it wrong last time, just say, heres what you do and here's how id like you to do it. if your house is clean, save her a big project or two.

if she does a good job, have her back later, if not, you kept up your end of the bargain and helped her.
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#363 of 849 Old 09-05-2008, 11:04 AM
 
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sage,
i think i would keep her on, but only give her the things that you feel she can do at least adequately... and don't feel bad about telling her details, something like 'with the new kittens, they're into everything, so can you make sure you do a really thorough sweeping of the rooms?' blame the kittens!! or blame your husband 'he is really picky about cleaning...'

for the 16 days you talked to her about, i would just shorten the amount of them... use your volunteers to pick up some of that slack... that is what they want to do, so just divvy up the work load.

its so hard in these situations! we have employees that sometimes don't measure up to the work we want them to do, and it is always uncomfortable to talk to them about it... you just have to do it, keep it light hearted, and since you can't show her exactly how you want her to do it, tell her as closely as you can. more than likely, she will be happy to do it the way you want, rather than think you think she is doing a crappy job. but it is still an uncomfortable conversation to have. yuck-o!

but, if you are really unhappy with her work, and really don't want her to come back... just tell her your situation has changed (which it has...) and you won't be needing her to come anymore. at some point you would have to do that anyway, when you are feeling so much better ( ) in december.

and btw sage, sounds like a good switch to the fragmin... also, jeez! i wish you could get in for another u/s to check on baby's (hopefully non-existent) cyst... is that something you can ask for? and earlier one? that seems like a long time to wait in worry.

holly, excellent news on your dr. visit! what a relief!!

aviva, these really are the tense days aren't they? the 20's... i think its good to get the 26wk check to give you a little insight and make your activity more enjoyable, rather than worrying/wondering if things are ok in there.

how is everyone else doing?

we got a cute little blue 'boy' outfit from a friend of a friend, this baby's first gift its really hard. i am starting to feel different elements of sadness at losing my daughter now. sigh.

but, i am almost ready to do a few purchases for this baby. i settled on some diapers to order to add a few lovelies to the 'stash', and i found a great baby hammock online that will be perfect for home and work next summer. it look so comfy i want one for me, right now!!

also, husband is planning a little one-night camping excursion for us, in 2 weekends from now. there is a beautiful campground on the ocean 5 minutes from where we live, so we go there this time of year because we can leave the dogs at home and still easily check on them (and shower at home!!). he bought some new 'family' style camping equipment, rather than the backpacking style stuff we have now... bigger tent- to fit baby, bigger sleeping bags- to fit baby, bigger camp stove, well, not for baby, for us! so i am looking forward to that... i will be 26 weeks then, and if i just sit there next to the ocean i am sure it will be fine.

i am 24 weeks today baby is kicking a lot, and moves around quite a bit too... i can feel his hands down near my lower abdomen, but then he turns transverse and i can feel hands on one side, feet on the other right above my belly button. i love feeling movement!

have a great weekend everyone!
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#364 of 849 Old 09-05-2008, 01:54 PM
 
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Soulshine, thank you for your advice and for the sad loss.
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#365 of 849 Old 09-05-2008, 04:29 PM
 
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well I sent her an email explaing that we have a golden retriever who sheds a ton so moving everything that can be moved and reaching under stuff to sweep and vacuum is important to grab all the animal debris. I also told her that I had the same problem with the windows and mirrors and found that if I buff them after cleaning them, they are streak free.
It turned out really nice.

What the heck is going on with my tummy? Yesterday was a bad day. I ate a bowl of special K early in the morning and didn't eat anything again until almost 4 pm when my choice was limited to Subway. After that I didn't eat again until midnight when I had half a sandwich. Bad bad bad....
This morning I woke up and had half a cup of coffee. Then I had a bottle of Anti-Ox juice and a nutrigrain bar. Then I had a veggie shake made with cucumber, tomato, avacado and pod peas. We don't usually add the peas, but we have a TON of them in the garden. The shake is super high in megahertz and extremely green and healthy. After the shake I had my vitamins and now I just had some wings.
My stomach hurts.. like hurting pain, like ulcer kind of pain. When I'm stressed the first thing that is affected is my stomach, but I've been ulcer free for a few years.
Aside from the terrible dietary intake yesterday I can't figure out why its hurts like this.
I haven't gotten ulcers for years because I've learned how to live with stress. How to not let it affect me physically. Its hard to explain this right now, but trust me, I don't get that kind of pain because I've learnd to control stress, give it boundaries.

Did I eat something that might cause it?
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#366 of 849 Old 09-05-2008, 04:53 PM
 
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well, the acid from the coffee, the high concentrate of raw veggies, and then vitamins... i think that combo could cause your stomach to hurt, especially since yesterday you had a crappy eating day, maybe your stomach was like 'enough already!'.

good job on the email... great idea, too... its sometimes easier to write things than say them face to face

just found out the hammock i liked was recalled!! back to the drawing board...

here's some of the contenders...

miyo
amby
kanoe

the kanoe is a bit more versatile in that it can hold baby up to 50 lbs. but i like the look of the miyo the best... but baby will outgrow within 6-9 months, same with the amby, which is my least favorite to look at.
this is the recalled one- apparently a baby was harnessed in it and it flipped over- baby wasn't hurt but not good even so.

i look at this stuff, especially the diapers, and i just an overcome with the desire for it to be december and we are home and safe and we can use this stuff!! i have been waiting to diaper my baby's butt for over 4 years now!

anyway... what do you all think of the hammocks? we have a high ceiling with a giant wooden beam so hanging a hammock there would be great, especially to keep the doggies away from sleeping baby, and then at work, it can hang between a door jam while we work during the day. watch, our baby will hate being in a hammock!!
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#367 of 849 Old 09-05-2008, 05:17 PM
 
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I love the idea that the Kanoe can be used by toddlers and such. I like the mesh on the amby, it makes it seem a little safer for little babies. the Miyo is pretty but I don't see a lot of advantages to it beyong that. I keep wanting to get this baby a hammock, but can't really justify it I don't think, we already have two baby swings, and no where to put anything.
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#368 of 849 Old 09-06-2008, 12:36 AM
 
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whoa, for the first time in a long time I had to scroll down the page to find our thread!

Its been pretty quiet around here lately, aside from me of course! I hope that means everyone is up and about and feeling better?
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#369 of 849 Old 09-06-2008, 05:30 PM
 
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I had a great time yesterday going to the fair in a wheelchair and a terrible time last night because DS got a cold and was miserable all night, my body feels like its falling apart too, my back end joints are all out of whack. Wheelchair wasn't great for that. Anyway exhaustion is making me have some BH right now so I'm going to go take a nap. It was worth it to go the fair though, it was fun, I just wish it wasn't taking such a price...I really feel blech.
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#370 of 849 Old 09-07-2008, 11:03 AM
 
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Hi Ladies!

Sage, I hope the email works with the woman you hired for cleaning! I like emails for such things too! So glad that the meals and support are already coming in for you too!

Aviva, glad you had fun at the fair! It is so nice to get out sometimes!

Soulshine, what a bittersweet moment it sounds like. for your loss, and so excited for your new lo! The camping sounds fun too! I don’t want to rain on your parade, but be careful of walking on the beach. Right after my sch was diagnosed we went to a beach for the weekend, and I think walking a ways in the soft sand to get up close to the water bothered things, because I bled for several days afterwards. Maybe try to walk on regular ground or a deck as long as possible, and just be conscious of how you walk in the sand! It sounds heavenly right now though – I hope you two have a great time!

Holly, congrats on your appt! Nice to know too that you really made the right call in doing this – your body seems to be agreeing at least!

Not too much new here. DH got invited to the corporate headquarters this week. He is out of town today and will be most of the week. The house is not in good shape and my support is dwindling for that lately, but I am getting used to it and I am happy for him as this is great for his career! Things have been busy getting DS into school, but all our efforts in extra planning, visits and a social story seem to have paid off since he is adjusting to his new school well! Still no confirmation that the bus garage will agree to continue transportation from our house, but it is still happening for now so I am thankful! A friend took me to a Mom-2-Mom sale yesterday morning and carried my bags, and in less than an hour I scored 2 big bags of winter newborn clothes and a few things for the big kids for under $50! I have another ultrasound and appt with my OB tomorrow, and I am really hoping for more good news! My positive visualization for the sch lately has been seeing my OB just as excited as she was last time for the improvements, and both of us grinning from ear to ear with the great news! So if you want to help with visualizing that, I would greatly appreciate it!

Wishing you all a restful day with happily growing little ones!

Have a good morning!

Christy
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#371 of 849 Old 09-07-2008, 08:56 PM
 
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Good luck tomorrow Christy! I'm imagining you all smiling. I don't need any newborn clothes really (except maybe a cute coming home outfit) but I'm still a little jealous of your scores

We are overwhelmed here, long story short, my DS being ill and hurricane hannah causing a roof leak we all got no sleep last night and nothing we needed to do over the weekend got done and DS is probably still too sick to go to school tomorrow, and now we are facing expensive roof repairs. I had a real attack of depression tonight about how good it would be to just go back to work and not have so many money worries and how impossible that all is right now...I mean forgetting the impending newborn...I'm still on bedrest! I know the job I'm doing is important but its hard to FEEL useless.
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#372 of 849 Old 09-07-2008, 09:36 PM
 
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Aviva, I'm sorry about the extra stress! I hate it when my kids are sick. And the hurricane presents all kinds of other problems. I know its hard to feel like you're useless, but you aren't useless. If the roof fell off, and the house fell apart, you'd still have the hardest, most important job of all. And you're a superstar at it! I hope things start to look up tomorrow!

Ugh.. so the girl I hired to clean.... wow. I sent her an email a couple of weeks ago asking if she could come here every Saturday and do 4 hours one week, then 2 the next, then 4 hours again the next Saturday, then 2 hours the following week, etc. I said it exactly like that. She wrote me back and said that she preferred to do 4 hrs at a time and that my 6 hour/month plan isn't much in the way of cleaning.

I wrote her back and ok, we can do the 4 hrs then if she will agree to do all the deep, end of season cleaning I normally do. And to clarify, my plan was for 12 hours a month, not 6. But we can agree to the 16 hours (4 hours a week) if she agrees to do the extra cleaning. She said thats awesome, that they can use all the extra money they can get, thank you so much.
So last week she comes on Sat. She's here for an hour and says to me that she's sorry, she totally forgot that she has someone coming to look at something she's selling, is it ok if she leaves an hour early and she'll make up the hour the following week. I said sure, but I offered to pay her the 4 hrs anyway, because if she's anything like me, she counts on money BEFORE she has it. She was VERY grateful and said she'd make up the extra hour the next week. She said she'd email me about hours.
BTW.. she charges $18/hr. We've been paying $20/hr just because its easier to pay with $20 bills. So in total she's worked for 7 hours and we've paid her $160
So I wait all week to hear from her. I get nothing. So Friday I email her and ask her if she's still coming on Sat. She emails me back and says is it ok if she comes on Sunday, because she's cleaning the other house on Sunday and it would be easier for her if she could do ours after theirs. Plus she'll stay for 3 hours, tho we'll only pay her for 2 because she owes us an hour. Apparently I wasn't clear enough when we agreed on the 16 hours for the month, she's back to thinking this is a 2 hour week.
I didn't say anything about the mistake with the hours. I figured that since we've arranged for someone else to come in that we'd just get her to do the deep cleaning anyway.
So today we made all of our daughters clean their rooms and my hubby pulled all their furniture away from the walls and beds are lining our hallways. She was supposed to wash walls today as my hubby is going to be painting a couple rooms this week.
She never showed up. : So I wouldn't let him take our daughters anywhere today, even tho its GORGEOUS outside, because he had to be her to get her set up for cleaning, show her everything. PLUS everything in their rooms is all squished into the center of the rooms and beds are in the hall.

She sent me an email at 5 (she was supposed to be here at 1:30) and said sorry she never showed, that she just finished the other place and she's wiped. If I don't want her to come anymore she understands and she'll drop off the $18 I overpaid her this week.

You know, to be honest, if she had just left out the money part, I'd probably have emailed her back and said that its ok, sometimes our days get carried away, then arranged for her to come tomorrow. But she offered to give me back the $18 I overpaid her, which tells me that she doesn't even recognize that we've given her an extra $34. That pisses me off. It was my choice to overpay her, but it would be nice to be appreciated for it. Especially since I had to complain to her about her lack of skill so early in the game.

Someone please tell me they won't all be like this. Now I'm in the uncomfortable position of emailing her back to tell her, thanks but no thanks.
What did I do wrong?
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#373 of 849 Old 09-08-2008, 10:28 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi girls. I am around, just taking a looong break from the computer. The little guy spent 2 days pummeling my bladder and cervix to the point that I wanted to shove ice up there! It is a price worth paying though. Of course, then I started worrying about the pain. I seem to have reached that very emotional phase of pregnancy where the littlest things upset me and I am in a constant state of fear over whether or not this dream will come true. Now that the SCH has resolved I find myself worrying about all of the freak things that could go wrong with any pregnancy. I feel like December should be here by now!

I haven't really changed my activity level any. I am just too scared and my body is too weak. If I am up for any significant amount of time, my back (sacro-illiac) starts hurting awfully and I end up with more contractions. Even though they aren't doing anything, they make me so nervous. I need to take it very slowly if I am going to increase my activity. Such a contrast to my pregnancy with DD when I spent the entire time assuming I would have a baby at the end of it, blissfully unaware of what could go wrong.

Holly, I am so glad to hear that the cerclage worked! Hurray! You made a great decision having that procedure done.

Aviva, to you. We have a sick kiddo over here too. She caught whatever my sister and nephew (who are living with us) have, but she has reactive airway syndrome so any chest bug she gets sends her into these asthmatic coughing fits. I was up last night trying everything from albuterol to a steamy shower to a cool mist humidifier and finally to prednisolone. Poor thing was so tired. I hope your DS feels better soon and your roof repair is quick!

Sage, I don't think you did anything wrong at all! I think that this girl may not have a very developed work ethic (that and she is probably stretched a bit too thin right now). I think that calling someone to let them know that you won't be able to come is a common courtesy. You really did try to communicate with her and gave her second chances and paid her more than she asked for. I would feel terribly torn by wanting to help her too, but I think now may be the time to let her go. You really need to limit the amount of stress you experience and it sounds like this is adding to that. Oh and about your earlier post, I found that if I eat something that is especially high in fiber (like lots of fresh veggies or a bowl of Grape Nuts) that by the end of the day I have these horrible sharp stomach pains and my whole abdomen starts hurting when I am sitting or standing. I stopped eating Grape Nuts in the morning and that solved the problem!

Marine ecologist wife to my kite-boarding soulmate and now a SAHM to Annabelle 8/02, 3 , and finally Willem 12/21/08!
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#374 of 849 Old 09-08-2008, 11:50 AM
 
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chesapeake - i hear you - i had a nightmare about the baby last night, my first since all this started. while my bedrest restrictions have eased up im trying to really stay down more than up, at least thru 28 weeks and the next couple appts to see how they go. DH's bro arrived yest from london, dh is on a business trip so i was up a little more than usual but not overly strenuous. i think even that much concerned me enough to trigger the dream.
but tho its only been three weeks, being up is just pretty exhausting. i do have two field trips this week - a trip out for a business meeting and a trip out for a fantastic beverly hills haircut, so i want to lay low the rest of the time. im amazed how tiring being up is and amazed how much i can sleep, given how much i am "resting".

sage, i might be the hard ass here (im a reformed outrageously ill people pleaser and helper) but im really of the mind that you do someone no favors by allowing behavior that would never fly in the workplace. youre sort of teaching them that flakiness and hap hazard work is okay, when in the world it is really not. to be successful at anything at life you have to learn those skills, commitment, communication, good work.... and this sounds awful but it sounds like for her own good she needs to know these things.

i also think people can really pick up a vibe, and if the vibe they're picking up is "im doing this to help you financially, i feel bad for you" there is a kind of person who will really take advantage of that vibe. they might bust their butt for a more demanding person but they know they can get over on you.

i think its really and truly the best - and the kindest and the nicest - thing to be as clear as possible with people like this, exactly what you expect. the email a good start, but if her changing the schedule is an issue, say so, if she says shes willing to return the wrong amt of money, correct her - even if you want her to keep the money. its a favor to her, and i think to you, in the long run to be as honest and clear as possible. and its just a great thing to learn to do for yourself. my two cents.

what does everyone have going on this week?
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#375 of 849 Old 09-08-2008, 12:45 PM
 
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This week... I have a whole lotta... nothing. Just sitting here.

Thanks for your advice on how to best deal with this situation. I think the worst thing I did was not be authoritative, at all. I won't make that mistake again. I realized that yes, someone else is cleaning up after us, BUT we are paying them to do it. Its a job, not a favor. I have to have reasonable expectations, and those must be met. I'm not a hard ass by any stretch of the defininition. Thanks for letting me vent, I was just very frustrated.

My hubby got called into work late last night. I had to give my own self my injection! I've never done that before. I bit the bullet and did it tho I'd rather have someone else do it.

I'm glad to see you back CB! Interesting about the fiber, I'll have to remmeber that.
Tho I've never experienced a loss like yours, I know about those kinds of fears. They're terrible. I've stopped wishing for December to get here, since that seems very unlikely to happen just for me, and started wishing for something much more attainable. A coma. Then I will get some sleep and the babe will continue to grow! Does anyone have an extra coma laying around they'd let me borrow? It does seem like the perfect solution.

Holly, I had a nightmare too. It was so brief, but it was terrible. In my dream this awful old woman killed my baby. And then she tried to make me drink this terrible stuff to ensure it was gone. I woke up sobbing. I couldn't stop crying for about an hour. My hubby was so confused. I hate those kinds of nightmares, waking up crying is so hard.
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#376 of 849 Old 09-08-2008, 01:41 PM
 
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Ugh on the nightmares You are brave to have done that injection yourself Sage!

CB just I know its just scary. I hope your daughter feels better soon.

Holly enjoy your haircut! I need one so badly. It gets exhausting being up so quickly, its one of the things that is hard about bedrest, because then you do get up again and either you are 8 or 9 months pregnant with no muscle tone, or you have a newborn to carry around. I have to say though I did bounce back pretty quickly last time.

I'm kind of sick now, not too badly but enough that I felt really lousy this morning. I'm just kind of icky now but not terrible. DS is much better but not better enough to go to school today and he's wearing me out. My husband stayed home actually til 11:30 and is going to come home early (he had to go in for a meeting) He's awesome.

I have a pressure sore or something, I don't think its from bedrest as much as last night I was so tired I fell asleep and woke up five hours later in exactly the same position, I clearly just hadn't moved at all and had this incredibly painful spot on my skin. It was all red. It looks fine now but its sore to the touch and I'm making sure I don't lie on it today. Ow. I sleep on a memory foam topped mattress too so I don't know why all the pressure.
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#377 of 849 Old 09-08-2008, 05:12 PM
 
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Hello!

Aviva, hope you are feeling better this afternoon! Sounds like you got hit with a lot at once. I know the feeling on wanting to go back to work too. We are cutting things left and right trying to rebalance the budget to have a little breathing room! You are right though – taking care of this baby is the most important job – and it will only be a few more months! So glad your dh is awesome at supporting you too!

Sage, I am with Holly on this part:
Quote:
Originally Posted by hollycat View Post
sage, i might be the hard ass here (im a reformed outrageously ill people pleaser and helper) but im really of the mind that you do someone no favors by allowing behavior that would never fly in the workplace. youre sort of teaching them that flakiness and hap hazard work is okay, when in the world it is really not. to be successful at anything at life you have to learn those skills, commitment, communication, good work.... and this sounds awful but it sounds like for her own good she needs to know these things.
I would also speak up about the $20 vs $18. And no, I don’t think they will all be like this! Some people just really don’t have a strong work ethic, or don’t make it a top priority.

Chesapeake, so sorry to hear about the pregnancy fears! I too recall those blissful days of pregnancy where you just assumed everything would go as planned and obviously you would have this normal experience with a healthy baby at the end! Can you keep yourself busy? Convince yourself to do a positive visualization when the fear sets in? I hope you can get into a better space soon, it is no fun being scared about the future. Good luck to you!

Sorry about all the nightmares too – no fun!

I did get more good news today! The sch shrunk a little again! Plans now are to keep with the same rest (although I was reminded that I am probably walking too much for now), recheck in 2 weeks with more detail on baby’s growth. My OB mentioned baby weighs 1 pound 6 oz, but I am just now 20 weeks today. I didn’t think baby should be that big until around 24 weeks. I’m pretty confused, since she is concerned about lack of growth too. How do they weigh the baby by traditional ultrasound anyways? Not sure what the deal is there, but I guess we will find out in 2 weeks if they are doing detailed info on her growth! If all goes well – baby stays on track for growth and sch continues to shrink - I could have permission to walk more and do a little yoga (just stretching at home, no class) within a month! Also no signs of bp issues or pre-e again, but time to start monitoring that daily til the end. All sounds great to me!

My week looks busy! DS had a bad day at school, and our dog is really sick, so those will be keeping me busy for a bit! Tomorrow we have a little one with us for the day. Wednesday we have a playdate, a library class, dentist appts. and another vet appt. – obviously too much, so I need to it in half somehow tomorrow! Thursday or Friday I’m making quiche with a friend, as I am getting sick of eating 2 eggs a day. Friday DH will be home, and I will be very ready to see him I’m sure! Sunday I am going to my first traditional Moonlodge.

That about sums it up!

Hope all of you have a good night!

Christy
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#378 of 849 Old 09-10-2008, 12:34 AM
 
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I wouldn't worry about the size Christy, they don't weigh the baby just estimate weight from things like femur length and estimates can be off. That's GREAT that the SCH is smaller. I hope it keeps shrinking. I'm sorry your son had a bad day at school. What is a Moonlodge?

How is everyone else, we sure are quiet lately. I'm ok. I understand why we are quiet, I just don't have much to say! I have an appointment tomorrow with the midwife. I don't have an Ultrasound scheduled but may have one anyway since I have a few minor concerns, we'll see. I have to make up a list of questions for her because I always forget when I go in!
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#379 of 849 Old 09-10-2008, 01:23 AM
 
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I will not whine.

Not about usual things anyway

So I spoke with my OB's office again this morning and she said he wants me to go the three hour test. I'll call them again tomorrow and tell them if he wants me to have it done, he'll have to arrange to have it done at my house. I just don't think he understands the kind of situation I'm in. And quite honestly, his total lack of care is starting to piss me off.
I watched my husband take out all my snack foods with this sinking feeling that I'm going to starve to death.
BUT, you guys are not going to believe this since I'm still pinching myself, but my mom has kicked into "mother" mode. I told her last night about the GD and she went straight home after work to make me a chicken salad. Then she went out and bought me enough food to last at least a week : then brought it all here and made me two kinds of sugar free puddings, and two kinds of sugar free jello's. She made me enough chicken salad for two days and put all the puddings and jello's into individual serving sizes.
All it took to get her to care was to get a nasty illness that can cause terrible side effects! Apparently the nasty problems and terrible side effects I had previously just weren't enough. But hey... I'm no longer complaining!

On another note, my ribs are KILLING me!!! Ugh.. I remember this now. This child is stratching me out!
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#380 of 849 Old 09-10-2008, 09:51 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Wow, Sage! I am so glad your mom came around! And I think that if that doc wants you to have the 3 hr test, he can send a home health care nurse out to do it!!

Marine ecologist wife to my kite-boarding soulmate and now a SAHM to Annabelle 8/02, 3 , and finally Willem 12/21/08!
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#381 of 849 Old 09-10-2008, 01:03 PM
 
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Good morning!

Aviva, a Moonlodge is a gathering of women, usually at the time of a full or new moon, and what happens really varies. It is often tied to Wicca or green ways of life. The woman I know that hosts them always includes decadent chocolate, usually passes a talking stick and people share whatever is on their minds or may discuss a particular topic, often they do some sort of craft or creative thing, or just sit around a fire and chat. Usually this is tied to supporting women in general, possibly to cycles or fertility, sometimes tied to honoring someone in the group, sometimes as a celebration. It's historical routes come from gatherings of women when women used to cycle together, often in sync with the moon. I had been taking classes at this host's homestead. She has classes on how to identify and work with native plants around us for nutrition and healing, learning about homesteading with animals, scratch cooking and baking, and just being more sustainable and having more respect for the land rather than just constantly taking from it. The classes have been great, I found tasty plants to add to salads, my 5 year old knows how to identify and use plantain if he falls outside and gets scraped up, and it heals at least as well as with antibiotic cream without the cost or exposure to the chemicals and antibiotics (a big issue for his system). I've really enjoyed the group of women too, it is usually extremely diverse but the energy is always great because the wide diversity among the group works really well. I usually walk away just feeling uplifted and empowered.

As for Michael's rough day, yesterday went better. So we have a lot of consequences set up, and hopefully that will do it. If not we may just need an evaluation and and IEP set up to handle him, which is fine if that is what it takes! And good luck on your appt tomorrow Aviva!

Sage, I think they could handle sending a nurse out too. Sorry your OB isn't very understanding! Congrats on your Mom getting in to Mom mode! This pregnancy brought out the "Mom" in my Mom too, which is surprising b/c she wasn't very mothering even when I was little! Another source of great support for you, how wonderful is that? I think every pregnant woman should feel support from those around her, but especially with complications adding to things!

Hope everyone else is doing well! I am sitting more b/c I overdid it yesterday morning and my body still feels off. I have a bit of a sore throat too, . Hopefully I can fight this off though - and if I am lucky figure out how to get some oranges here - they sound absolutely amazing at the moment and the Vitamin C would help I'm sure!

Have a good afternoon!

Christy
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#382 of 849 Old 09-10-2008, 01:12 PM
 
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only you girls know how fucking excited i am TO GO OUT AND GET A HAIRCUT!!!! oh, the little pleasures.
booges, i love the whole vibe of your moon group. im a scratch baker and used to grow most of my food but the worlds best farmers market is so close and my new house doesnt have great light yet. i do have tremendous fruit trees, tho. lemon, apricot, plum, apple, pear, walnut, cherry. and of course fresh herbs which i cant do without.

i personally delight that i live this life and also live near the ocean, in the mountains, in a huge city.

sage, great your mom is stepping up. im somewhat woo woo in the spiritual dept and i think a resolve to take less shit and demand more support in life - ie, with the housekeeper - results in other areas of your life following the same pattern. stand up for yourself and demand more from one area, the rest follow without you having to do a darn thing.
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#383 of 849 Old 09-10-2008, 02:36 PM
 
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Holly, yay for the haircut! I sooo wish I could get out for one! I want to dye my hair red. lol..
can you show us before and after pics? What are you having done?

Christy, I'm envious that you've had the pleasure of participating in such a group! My hubby is native, but its been so.. stripped of historical beliefs and practices that even the pow wow's are lame. Its really sad.

I'm feeling so guilty. I was in so much pain, so overwhelmed with lack of sleep that I took two painkillers last night. An hour and a half later and no relief so I took one more. Then I slept, nearly pain free. For 4 hours. Thats the most sleep I've had in so long.

This morning I opened and dared to drink a Boost, for diabetics. Its super sweet and not that tasty so I was trying to drink it fast by just pouring it into my mouth and swallowing quickly. I thought the drink was done, but then realized there was a huge glob of something just sitting against the rim. I nearly threw up. I shook the hell out of the damn bottle, I don't even want to guess what it might have been. Ugh.. *shudder*

So.. how to say this. I need some advice. I soooo appreciate all the dinners we've been provided, its been just amazing to have that kind of support.
BUT
Having been told that dinners are going to be provided until Dec, I don't worry about what to do for dinner. On Monday we waited and a woman came by at 6:30 with a bag full of fruit. I really appreciate the fruit, since I can't get out to buy produce, but it left us screwed for dinner. Then I had to order pizza and that didn't get here until nearly 7:30. In the summer this would have been fine, but my kids need to have dinner done by 7:30 at the latest because there is bedtime to start.
Then yesterday we waited and waited and no one came at all. So the girls didn't eat until my hubby got home at 8:30 (they all refused to eat pizza again since they had leftover pizza for lunch and their after school snack) which didn't get them to bed until nearly 10.
I am loathe to sound ungrateful, but I really need some kind of notice if we've got to do dinner on our own. I don't know what to say.

On a totally unrelated note, I watched the first Bridget Jones diary yesterday and am watching the second one now and I have to say, I've never known of a more irritating character than Bridget Jones. I just can't stand to watch it anymore.
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#384 of 849 Old 09-10-2008, 05:25 PM
 
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Sounds nice Christy...cool to be feeling in such a supportive environment, what do you do with plantain? We've got a yard full of it! (you mean the common weed right? Not the banana like thing?)

Sage tell your doctor that you can't do it without a visiting nurse coming. And join the GD support thread to get some ideas for foods besides boost, don't drink that crap! Blech! I bet with your mom she's been wanting to help but either just didn't get how at all, or even if you told her they were just things she didn't feel "good" at. You gave her something to do now that she feels competent at. I find Bridget Jones annoying too.

Holly yay for the haircut! I do know how excited you are! (you might want to take down the word that you used to say exactly how though, I think that might be a UAV?) I want one so badly. I'm going to wait a few more weeks though....because I know I won't get out for one for a while after baby comes.

My son just walked in here from throwing a random tantrum in the kitchen (over nothing) and said "mommy I want to see the big stitch that kept ME inside and helped me grow" Yes believe it or not I saved my cerclage stitch from when he was born and when I told him I needed a cerclage again for the new baby I showed it to him...lol, but I have no idea what suddenly made him think of it (in the middle of a tantrum about something else) months later. The mysteries of kids.
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#385 of 849 Old 09-10-2008, 10:08 PM
 
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I'm due in January, but I heard from another mom on that thread that this has been a great source of support.

I'm pregnant with my third son. I had preterm labor with my older sons beginning at 32 and then 23 weeks. My younger son was born at 35 weeks. We knew going into this pregnancy that I would have a higher risk of preterm labor again. I had hyperemesis in the first trimester and I began to feel contractions at 12 weeks. At my first appointment with the perinatologist at 14 weeks, we discovered I had a placenta previa.

I've been "taking it easy" on basically modified bed rest since 12 weeks. I've been able to do a few things around the house most days and could still care for my boys some of the time. I've been seeing the perinatologist weekly and a CNM every other week.

This week, however, my cervix got shorter and my contractions increased so I have been in and out of the hospital. I'm now on several medications and on strict bed rest at home to try to stop contractions. If they don't stop, I'll probably spend some of the rest of this pregnancy in the hospital.

I'm 21w4d now and due on January 17. Right now, the first goal is 24 weeks, although we're really focused on getting to at least 28...

I've just started reading your stories, but I'm looking forward to jumping in!
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#386 of 849 Old 09-10-2008, 10:21 PM
 
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Aw, I'm sorry you have to be here, but glad that we're here for you!

I hope your baby stays put for another 4 months! How old are your other two boys?
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#387 of 849 Old 09-10-2008, 10:34 PM
 
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welcome sbrinton. youve found a great place.
geez, sage, thats a toughie, the food flakes. i wonder if there are a couple of frozen type (but good healthy) dinners you guys could have on hand for such occasions.
i look like a goddess, by the way, thanks for asking. my new cute frenchboy stylisnt fawned all over me. the salon was right next to a maternity place which was high end but having a great sale. all in all a great day!
aviva, i love you kept the cerclage!
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#388 of 849 Old 09-10-2008, 10:57 PM
 
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Congrats on the haircut Holly! The fruit trees sound fantastic! Hopefully our next move will be a place and house we will stay at for some time, and I would love to plant fruit trees! I have always loved baking, but this is my first year of really trying to make as much as I can from scratch. It feels good not to need to go to the store for everything, but it is taking me a while to perfect the whole grains! Do you soak yours? I hear it is the trick for making soft whole grain breads. So far no luck with that for me, it always turns out sour! All in all it feels very empowering to be able to find foods around us, to be able to make foods from scratch, it has been fun! I live in the city too. We just didn't put chemicals on the lawn and now 5 years later it is sprouting lots of interesting stuff. A great experiment is to turn over a shovel full of soil, and see what grows the next spring. We actually did this with a large area to put in a retaining wall, and got several wild edible and/or medecinal plants!

Sage, it is a neat group. I have been thankful to find it, and still love how it resonates with so many people from different walks of life. Bummer the Pow Wows are so watered down now. Maybe you could find a small group of families there that you could connect with though? As for the dinners, I am all about the freezer right now! We are keeping several meals at a time on hand, for days when I am not up for cooking. Freeze leftovers instead of saving them for the next day. Maybe ask whomever is organizing the meals to see if people could either let you know when they will arrive, or drop them by an earlier time or something. It isn't like you can always plan on them or plan to save them, so some communication makes sense. As for food ideas there is a "Feed the Freezer" thread on the January board your could check out.

Aviva, the plantain is the common weed, not the banana thing! It can be the wide leaf or the narrow leaf kind. Just make a spit polstice. Chew it up so it is all mushy and put it on the injury. To save through the winter you can make a salve. For pain relief, make a salve out of alder leaves - the combo of the two heals well. My son is fascinated with all of this! So we had to draw some boundries - only in our yard, and he is only allowed to put this or a few other plants he really identifies well into his mouth without asking. This actually helped Maya stop eating random plants - we taught her a few she could eat, and only at home, and now she is good about it. The kids loved it this spring when I would let them go pick salad for dinner. Chickweed, violets and dandelions were their favorites. Michael started complaining if we had salad anywhere else because no one ever gave him flowers to eat! Few other tips for city foraging - not by roads, pesticide applications or high traffic pet areas. With kids, especially when gathering a volume of plants like for a salad, give them one basket per plant. It makes sorting it out easier so you know for sure you don't get anything you don't want in there! It is amazing what the kids remember sometimes! Maybe you were on his mind in the tantrum, or the baby, or soemthing else bigger than he could put into words or fully understand himself, so it just came out as a general tantrum. So hard to know!

We had a LONG day here! Both kids were acting up today (Michael at school and Maya at library class), so no fun there! Then off to the dentists to find out one of Maya's molars didn't form right, and to make a long story short the dentist says she needs a pulpoctomy (he thinks) and it will be almost $400 after insurance - for a baby tooth!!!! Then immediately after that I had to take our dog in to the vet again, as she has been really sick for a while, and after $300 in tests and medications in the last week they think she has food allergies! AHHH! OK, my kids have food allergies, but the dog too??? It has been such a long day that it is almost funny to me at this point! Then to top it all off I had a dream last night that I was sick with a headcold, and here it is! Ugh! So far pretty mild though thanks to all the water, vitamins and healthy diet! Speaking of that I should probably get sleep, so time to get settled in on the couch, since my sweet little daughter stripped and peed right on my bed tonight too! And DH is out of town. OK, seriously, tomorrow I am staying in all day, and making myself some chocolate chip cookies or a pizza! : OK, maybe both!

Have a good night everyone!

Christy
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#389 of 849 Old 09-11-2008, 01:12 AM
 
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Christy, I have a great recipe for whole grain bread. I'll get the cookbook in the morning and put it online.

Sage, we've had experience with dinners that didn't show up and with dinner that weren't so edible. My strategy is to freeze good leftovers when we end up with extras. Then we can warm things up. When people come over to visit, I usually have them bake with the kids. The boys love it, it fills the afternoon, and then we have some yummy bread or muffins that, at least with little children, make a decent meal. In a pinch we just cook breakfast for dinner. I appreciate people's kindness in bringing food and yes, I wish people were more reliable. I guess I trust try to remember that they have no idea what we're going through...

My older son, Asher, will be 4 in December. My younger son, Micah, is 18 months old. It is hard to get through this long season of bed rest with little ones. They know that something is going on with mom. Asher is very sensitive. His dad has been on a business trip in Japan and Asher's taken over daddy's job - he brings me breakfast in bed most days, sometimes with his grandma's help. Today it was oatmeal with "dinosaur eggs" - little candies that hatched into dinosaurs.

Both boys pray for the baby and kiss my tummy.

Little Micah, when I saw him after being at the hospital today, climbed up in bed and said "Mama, doctor, medicine." He took my new medicine out of the bag and gave it to me and said, "thank you" and then showed me the bag, "empty". He then leaned into my tummy and said "cuddle baby"...

I miss them like crazy. They spend a lot of time with my mom and other family and friends as I really cannot do most of what they need during the day. Some days I'm so sad to miss so much of this time of their lives. We try to enjoy what we can, story time and bed time cuddles and bathtime, but it really is hard.

Speaking of DH who is in Japan - I was pretty mad that he had to go on a business trip when I was dealing with preterm labor. But I think he got the raw end of the deal. While on the flight from Seattle to Tokyo, he stood up to go to the bathroom and ended up passing out. He spent the next 3 hours on the floor of the galley, throwing up and completely out of it. He was supposed to fly on to Hong Kong for meetings, but had to wait in Tokyo to get better. I feel so bad for him! I know he wishes he was here even more now that he feels like crap!
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#390 of 849 Old 09-11-2008, 01:41 AM
 
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more in the am its way too late now...but welcome "sbrinton" sorry you have to be here It sucks but I'm glad you found us at least! Sending stay inside baby vibes to you! My DS's middle name is Asher btw, and Micah is one of the names on our shortlist for the middle for the one I'm carrying...funny coincidence. Anything we can call you except sbrinton? Hard to type

Ok more tomorrow its late I should have been asleep an hour ago!
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