***High Risk Mamas Support Thread*** - Page 17 - Mothering Forums

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Old 10-06-2008, 02:34 AM
 
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My second ultrasound is tomorrow. Then I'll find out how he's doing, whats going on with the cyst and the fibroid. I'll also find out how big he is. I am no longer against induction. I can't take this alot longer, as soon as I get a thumbs up that he's good to go, we're going. I worry that this amount of pain and stress is harder on him than me.

How's everyone else doing?
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Old 10-06-2008, 02:55 PM
 
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I'm good, my body is falling apart...weird numbness and leg won't work right, discomfort but no real pain. I do need to get to a chiro or something.

Being off bedrest is weird, its actually a little hard to get used to. It isn't even like I was on it that long but I formed habits that are just hard to break, and its hard to get over feeling fragile. The GD is really kicking up though and I'm not sure what we are going to do about it. I thought more excercise would help but it seems to be the opposite, go figure.

Sage, good luck tomorrow. I can totally see that an early induction would be a reasonable choice in your situation. I hope the ultrasound is super reassuring.

Holly are you hanging in? Where is Selena? How is everyone? Check in time!
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Old 10-07-2008, 12:48 AM
 
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Good news and bad news.

He's about 4 lbs 9 oz. Thats a great size for him. No fibroid left!
I have excessive amniotic fluid, I'm in the 95th percentile, and all I understand that to mean is that I'm maxed out for allowable fluid.

I was automatically referred to a perinatologist and a hematologist at BC Women's hospital. I'm hoping the peri will take over my care.

The pain has not ended, or let up in a week. I'm dying over here.
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Old 10-07-2008, 12:56 AM
 
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huge congrats on the nice big baby and the disappearing fibroid! fantastiC!
isnt excess fluid a sign of GD? did you test for that or am i confusing people again? great youre seeing a peri.
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Old 10-07-2008, 01:17 AM
 
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ugh... GRRRR... so polyhydramnios is not good. There are lots of consequences and none of them are positive. $&%!@!! One thing after another...

No Holly, my OB won't send anyone out to my house. He's an ass.

My Dad's response to my news from today? "Oh well I guess you're gonna be in a crappy mood for the next three months now!"

GET OUT!!!!
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Old 10-07-2008, 12:22 PM
 
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sage did you have your peri appt? hope you get someone great.
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Old 10-07-2008, 12:28 PM
 
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Sage- YAY for no more fibroid and good sized baby. Bummer on the water I wonder if it is your response to being in pain and its way of protecting baby. My SIL has bronchitis in her last trimester and then had to much water, i wonder again if your body is trying to give the baby extra cushion. any ways just a thought. I understand wanting an induction in your case, and i think it is reasonable.

Aviva- I understand being off bedrest (i am officially off tomorrow) but still not wanting to do a whole lot. In my case it is a bit different cause i only have a few weeks left and feel huge and tired and not wanting to do anything.

Holly- I hope you don't have any more funneling and that baby stays in and cooks.

sbrinton- yay for 25 weeks, and i think we all completely understand having our homes upside down. I just want DH to rinse the sink when he is finished with dishes, but i guess i should be happy he is doing the dishes.

AFM- i am ungrounded tomorrow at 36 1/2 weeks and welcome the baby any time after that. I have been doing too much the last few days though and i am tired. And also wishing i could go to the chiro. I will be having my MW home visit either tomorrow or saturday. I feel like i have so much to do before i am ready to have this baby. Being on bedrest sure puts a damper on the nesting instinct. On Sunday i filled the freezer Way to much activity but i feel relieved now that it is done. I needed to replace the meals that were used while on bedrest. half of me is ready for the baby today, and half still needs a long while. My DD is definately ready for me to be re-focused on her. And i am excited to give her that one on one attention before the baby comes. I still think she has no idea, but it is kinda a huge concept for a 2 year old.

anyways now that i have written a novel i will return you to your regularly scheduled chat.
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Old 10-07-2008, 09:04 PM
 
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Oh my god. I am just floored. I can't believe this.

I can't sit up without massive pain. Its been like that over a week. I'm really scared that I did some serious damage to my poor pubic bone last week.

I can't lay down. I can't BREATHE!! Honestly, I feel like I'm going to pass out. I've been having problems breathing for a couple of weeks, but its getting worse. I found out yesterday its because of all amniotic fluid pushing all my organs around, which also explains the very sharp pains I've been getting. I TOLD MY STUPID OB ALL THIS!!! and he said NOTHING. UGH... I'm loathing that man.
I suppose it wouldn't really matter anyways, since they recommend sitting up to allow more room for your lungs to breathe, but in my case I can't do that unless I'm chewing pain killers like candy.
32 weeks. 4 weeks to go until he can be born safely. How the !@#$! am I going to last that long? I can't sleep, I can't be without massive pain, and now I can't breathe!!!!! This is awful. I just can't believe this is all happening, that my last pregnancy could be like THIS. I'm stunned.

I think I'm going to have no choice but to ask to be admitted. I need proper pain relief so that I can get some sleep. I need a bed that will allow me to move up or down as often as I need to without having to move my pelvic bones. This feeling of being unable to breathe is terrible. If I don't focus on it, I panic. Is that in my head, or is my body actually unable to get the oxygen it needs?

That peri hasn't called yet. I expect I'll get a call sometime this week.

I don't want an induction. I want a pleasant pregnancy and a healthy baby. Aside from the gift of being able to grow him and have him within me, I haven't had any part of this pregnancy the way I'd have written it.
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Old 10-07-2008, 09:05 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by avivaelona View Post
I'm good, my body is falling apart...weird numbness and leg won't work right, discomfort but no real pain. I do need to get to a chiro or something.

Being off bedrest is weird, its actually a little hard to get used to. It isn't even like I was on it that long but I formed habits that are just hard to break, and its hard to get over feeling fragile. The GD is really kicking up though and I'm not sure what we are going to do about it. I thought more excercise would help but it seems to be the opposite, go figure.

Sage, good luck tomorrow. I can totally see that an early induction would be a reasonable choice in your situation. I hope the ultrasound is super reassuring.

Holly are you hanging in? Where is Selena? How is everyone? Check in time!

Are you ok? I hope the stuff you mentioned here has eased up a bit and your GD is a bit more under control now!
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Old 10-07-2008, 11:14 PM
 
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No answer yet on the GD, its not terrible, just keeping an eye on it, I'm just nervous about it.

Sage, I really think you might have reached a point where you just need to go be somewhere you can get taken care of. I think if you are getting panicky due to lack of being able to breath that you need some help. My guess is that when you relax (like the thirty seconds you are able to sleep) you do get enough oxygen but when you are in pain and frustrated and worried your system ramps up and you feel like you need more, that can end up with you hyperventilating and that would give anyone panicked feelings. I'm just sending prayers that you get a great Peri who helps you get to where you need to be.
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Old 10-07-2008, 11:41 PM
 
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*hug* for sage.

if its of any help, the peri i just consulted with told me that a baby born after 32 weeks has the same growth and development at one year old as a baby born full term. with the right nicu, 32 weeks is a 'good' time for a baby to come out, if need be.

when that peri does call you, ask him everything you can, all of this stuff you are dealing with/thinking about/experiencing. they are the experts, they should be able to address it all. i really hope you can get some relief. i agree with aviva. go in and get some assistance. you need to sleep, you need to breath. i am so sory you got the news about the polyhydramnios. i think it is time to switch your care to a peri, and if you don't like him/her, find another one who you do like.
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Old 10-08-2008, 03:14 PM
 
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Good morning!

Sage
I hope you can get some help soon! Maybe checking into the hospital would be a good option. Hopefully the new peri can help you more!

Holly, good luck on the cerclage holding!

Aviva, congrats on bed rest being lifted! Take it easy though!

Sara, it is tough to keep letting the house go. It seems like less and less is getting done here too. Not much to do but just breathe and fantasize about spring cleaning though, LOL!

Soulshine, good luck on all the appts! Hang in there!

Selena, the freezer looks great! Always a great feeling to see it stocked and know at least food isn't a concern!

As for me, just hanging in here. Next appt is next Monday, hoping to have more improvement and restrictions lifted some. I have been up a lot lately though, groceries and laundry haven't been happening without my doing so, but thankfully Michael is a huge help there. I just walk and direct, and he does the rest! I am continually amazed at how much he does now as far as housework and helping me, being that he is only 5. We got a bushel of apples from a local farm this week, so I made apple butter yesterday in the crock pot. Super easy and WOW did the house smell nice! I'm tempted to make more for Christmas gifts, but haven't been able to find much in canning supplies in town the last few weeks! I also started fermenting dilly beans - my first fermentation experiment - so we will find out how that goes next week. Overall I am just in love with anything related to fall or food right now!

Hope you are all enjoying the changing seasons too!

Have a good week!

Christy
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Old 10-08-2008, 06:46 PM
 
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Sage, you are getting close to the end of this. Just take it one day at a time and ask for the support you need.

Holly, how are you?

I'm still here. Going on 26 weeks. Every day I'm still pregnant is good! It seems like almost everyone I know who is pregnant is dealing with contractions this week. There must be something weird in the air around Seattle. Seriously, I've had like 5 friends in the hospital this week. Everyone is fine and back home so far, but my goodness! At least I'm not alone on bed rest anymore.

I'm staying busy making bird mobiles for all my friends who are pregnant with little girls. They are very cute so far. Here's what I'm making.

I feel like some days I'm at the end of my rope. Feeling sort of depressed. Maybe very depressed. But then things seem to lift and I can get through a few more days.

After everything we've faced in this pregnancy, I completely understand how you all are feeling at 32-ish weeks. I think by then I'll be like "I'm done". I'm tired of hurting, contracting, worrying, all of it. I know rationally that it's better to get past 36 weeks, but I don't know that I can do it. I think my perinatologists take is that I'll go into labor shortly after they take me off motrin, and generally I agree. So that means about 1 month or 6 weeks from now. Which is hard to believe too!

-Sara
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Old 10-08-2008, 09:28 PM
 
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yay selena, you are free!!!!
sage i think checking yourself in might be a great idea.
christy, hope you have a great appt, and sara i LOVE the mobiles.

ive spent the day feeling like an absolute crazy woman because the baby is having a quiet day. definately moving, but smaller movements (he's been going nuts) and its making this crazy lady crazier today.

have a deadline for an article and cant do a damn thing because im paralyzed with worry today. im on the sidelines bedrest board and one of our gals lost a babe last pregnancy due to IC, i think, and so was on bedrest this time, dealing with IC issues... got to the end and her baby died of a random, rare cord accident. i just cant get my brain around that level of grief and unfairness.

i live an hour at least from the hospital and am trying to find the nearest hospital near me with a good NICU in case of emergency adn its helping my nuttiness, i think.
im usually pretty up with people but feel very out of control today and that is mighty uncomfortable.
aviva i hope youre breaking into the freedom and getting your body back.
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Old 10-09-2008, 12:56 AM
 
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I'm here, way way too tired for a long post, so just hugs all around.

Holly I'm sorry for your board mate on sidelines. I can't imagine that level of heartbreak but my heart goes out to her. Hang in there.

Sara I had a lot of depression in the stage you are in too, its just a few more weeks til that baby is likely to be just fine, but getting there was hard. I say you will make it to December at least so you can stay part of this DDC

More tomorrow, I'm thinking of all of you.
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Old 10-09-2008, 12:13 PM
 
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well I feel prelaborish- I woke at 2am needing to throw up, I stayed up til 4, took a bath and have been having contractions since then, I could sleep through some though. Then at 6 my DD wanted to come to bed and nurse. grrrrr. but anyways I got up and got her breakfast. I am having a hard time getting comfortable, but contrax are irregular, I also feel a bit like diarhea is coming. ( i hope i don't have a tummy bug) Anyways, i doubt baby is coming today but i just want to be comfy in my warm bed and go to sleep. (yeah right)

I am frustrated with my MW, i was supposed to have my home visit first last saturday, then yesterday and i am still waiting for my stuff to be delivered. She didn't even call yesterday. I just hope she actually shows up this saturday. and i don't go in to labor before then.

Today is my first day being off bedrest and able to have the baby at home, And all i want to do is lay in bed. I also want my mom/ somebody to come get my little bug for the day, but that isn't going to happen.
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Old 10-09-2008, 02:42 PM
 
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Well Selena that is exciting but I really do hope you get to hold off another week or two. Getting off bedrest is HARD, you have to do it incrementally and it isn't going to give you much of a chance if you do have the baby right away. See if you can get some help to be there. I hope your Midwife gets it together, maybe give her a call and tell her you are feeling pre-laborish

I had a huge meltdown this morning. I'm feeling a little shell shocked after. I have my appointment with the endocrinologist this afternoon and I have super mixed feelings. I have super mixed feelings about this whole pregnancy honestly, that was what the emotional fireworks were about. Somehow I have managed to fall in love with the little bean inside while still totally resenting the pregnancy and feeling like I do NOT want a newborn. I love him, really, even if we can't figure out what his name is and he keeps kicking his mommy in the most painful possible spot. But I want him to be OUT already and three months old while at the same time wishing he'd just be in there for the next 6 months so I don't have to deal with all the changes to our family. Ok I admit to just being crazy, poor little bump.

Sage where are you? Did you get checked in? I hope you can update us if you do get admitted.

Christy that is great that your son is so helpful, your house sounds like a wonderful place to eat, can I come for dinner?

Soulshine how are you?
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Old 10-09-2008, 05:01 PM
 
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selena, im thinking of you and i hope it all calms down and your midwife gets her act togethher. id get hubby to call and insist she show up. heres a dumb question, if nipple stimulation can start labor pains, does BF do the same?

aviva, thinking of you too. i really apprecate your honesty in all the feelings you describe. i think its really good and healthy to get all those thoughts out there. its indeed a complex time for lots of us i know.

lots of hugs to you all.
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Old 10-09-2008, 05:28 PM
 
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yeah the nursing causes contrax. But i have cut her down significantly since the beginning of bedrest. now she only nurse when she wakes up and goes down for a nap.

still contracting, still irregular, still uncomfortable. still have a ton of stuff to do.
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Old 10-09-2008, 07:32 PM
 
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keep breathing selena!
sarah, still loving your mobiles. i think they're perfectly appropriate for boys' rooms too. you should sell em!
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Old 10-09-2008, 08:03 PM
 
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I'm trying to keep to myself. No, I have not gone to the hospital. It would be really nice to feel like a doctor would care about my situation, but I've had so much carelessness I don't want to be a pain to anyone.
I had an ok day yesterday. I still had a breakdown last night. I'm manic, I know. I'm not sharing any of the emotional stuff with my husband, he thinks that him being here helps me be stronger, and it does, its just not helpful with the emotional stuff.
My OB finally called today to let me know I'm polyhydramnios. Thank you ass.
I called the hospital I had my u/s at and the peri there said he'd book me another u/s for 10 days from now to check on the AFI. He said to rest until then.

If I don't have an appt with my OB until the 16th, do I just call him and say I need help? I can't do this anymore? What step do I take? While I'm frustrated with him I also don't want him to feel like I'm undermining him and going behind his back.
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Old 10-09-2008, 08:11 PM
 
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why do my sad and pathetic posts have to start so many pages?!?!

I called my OB's office. I don't care what he thinks about me. His MOA said he just ran to the hospital for an emergency c/s but he said he'd call her as soon as he was finished. When he does she's going to ask him what I should do. I asked her if I could go to the hospital for some pain relief as these T3's are not doing a damn thing for the pain.
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Old 10-09-2008, 11:00 PM
 
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Sage, I hope he sends you right in.

No insulin for me, yay. Endo perscribed more sleep.
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Old 10-09-2008, 11:03 PM
 
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sage,
i had to get a second opinion and i felt like a little worried i was undermining my ob and peri, but my ob told me it is normal for second opinions to be sought.

tell him you are in a level of pain that you cannot tolerate on your own anymore, and the pain meds are not working. if he has nothing for you, then ask him if there is someone he could recommend for a second opinion. because you need help, now.

its an awkward situation to be in. i was glad i did it though. its my body, my mind that is worried, and ultimately and most importantly, my baby that needs to be priority #1. i hate having to be the one who seems to be the only one who cares about it. you really get the feeling that you are one in 1000 patients that they see and the only reason they remember you is that they have your chart in front of them. very very frustrating. i hate having to call in again and again for info that was promised me at a certain time.

so, i'm thinking about you sage. *hug* i really hope you can get some help thru these ba$tards.
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Old 10-09-2008, 11:22 PM
 
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aviva,
i wanted to say that i think your post makes all the sense in the world. it would be nice if it all was roses and daisies, but that is ridiculous! of course you have mixed emotions, it doesn't mean any of them are wrong or bad. they are valid and that's just the way it has to be.

i remember reading (what seemed like) hundreds of posts of women who had pregnancies (after losses) and then had their babies. they were always worried, and that is what i thought i had in store for me when it was my turn. it took so long to get pregnant again, and there were many tear filled pleas that i would do 'anything' if i could only get pregnant again and have the chance to have a living child. so, you know, this pregnancy was not really like any of the pregnancies i read about. there was worry, but not really about a repeat of what happened with my daughter. i had other problems, other issues, other threats that make this pregnancy quite nightmarish, emotionally. i remind myself that i said i would do anything, and this is anything, i guess. no physical pain, but mental craziness.

i keep fast forwarding past all this- the pregnancy, the birth, the coming home, and i think of the day when it feels 'normal'. maybe one day when this little guy is 6 months old, healthy... that is my goal. i think you will end up there too. hopefully forgetting about all this stuff!

i am having weekly bpp's and growth scans, afi checks, etc. i'll be 29wks tomorrow. i am still thrilled that the sch finally went away! i worry about everything else, though. feeling this baby move everyday, it is thrilling to my heart each time he kicks and he is alive! it is such a day by day thing. at the scans, i get worried that they are going to admit for delivery right then and there. i want this little guy to have more time to grow! he is 2 1/2 lbs now. i keep wondering though, maybe it would be better if he was on the outside. the variable of the unknown would be taken away. he would be in the hands of experts, being cared for. i have such a fear that i will make the wrong decision and it will mean his death inside me because the placenta fails or there is something really wrong with his cord. i just don't know what to do with this. not one of the peri's has mentioned this, just that if all of this was going on after 36wks. they would deliver for sure. so, more weeks to go... and on bedrest!
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Old 10-10-2008, 02:33 AM
 
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well the contrax have finally stopped or today, and i did get the bedding for the crib done today. I slept alot (as much as i could with DD). And we had a great pre-natal with our doula. She is great, i just want her to be here all the time. We connected really well and she has amazing relaxing touch.

Dh is frustrated with his job. and this is not the time to be looking for a new one. But the won't give him his year review (due in july) and yesterday the took 1 1/2 hours of overtime off his time sheet/ punch thing.


Sage: do get another opinion and get some help. I can't imagine the pain you are in, I have a tiny bit of SPD and i feel like i am going to break apart someday, i couldn't imagine it being any worse.

Aviva- yay for no insulin

Soulshine- when your little one is a toddler running around you will look back and remember when you had to take it easy and rest. It will feel like a luxury and remind you of what you endured to be able to him down from the top of his dresser.
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Old 10-10-2008, 03:26 AM
 
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Since yesterday, I've had an increase in contractions. They were getting more and more painful and frequent. Last night I talked with my OB and we decided I should stay home and sleep. I did sleep last night, but woke up around 6 with contractions. Continued to be uncomfortable all day and then around 2, got sick of being at home. I went to Barnes and Noble to sit in a big chair and read. I also bought my MIL a birthday present.

I wasn't on my feet long, but the contractions were getting more painful so I decided to call the OB. When they got back to me, they told me to go home and rest because I have an appointment scheduled Friday morning. But I just didn't feel like that was the right call. Eventually they agreed and had me come in. Turns out I have a bladder infection, which explains the increase in contractions and pain.

I had to see the OB who was on call and she was terrible. I am so glad she's not my regular doctor. She dismissed almost everything I said about how I am feeling. She was like "so, you are supposed to be on bedrest but you were up walking around the mall" - what? I'd love to out walking around the mall. I definitely wasn't doing that. Sitting in a chair at a store does not count as walking anywhere.

I was on the monitor and I watched the numbers through two very clear contractions. The monitor did not pick them up at all, but the baby sure did - he had very clear accelerations that lined up exactly with what I was feeling. I told her the monitor was not picking up the contractions, so she decided to put her hands on my belly to feel them, but put her hands on my tummy just after one ended and took them off just as one was starting and then told me that I wasn't contracting. I've been doing this for a long time. I just wish the doctor would listen to me! I don't go in unless I have a strong feeling that something isn't right.

By the time I got home, my parents brought our kiddos home and I had to get them to bed. I was tired, cranky, and really hungry. Just then, my husband walked in the door home from a business dinner. He brought ALL the leftovers: spinach salad, chopped salad, brushetta, lasagna, spaghetti, crab cakes, mashed potatoes, chicken marsala, chicken parmesean, and chocolate cake! This seriously made my day!

After dinner and a bath, I'm feeling better.

I'm really hoping I make it to 34 weeks. I like my OB, but the rest of the OB's in the practice are not so good. If I make it to 34 weeks, I can switch back to my midwife. That sounds so good right now. If I make it to 37, I can have the baby at home - this would be Christmas day. That would be completely a miracle...
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Old 10-11-2008, 01:05 AM
 
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Ugh Sara, I'm sorry about the bad OB. Seriously though, if you are hoping to make it to 34 weeks stay down more. I know Barnes and Noble is not walking around the Mall, and the OB was a nasty nellie to say it to you that way, but at the height of my bedrest I did the same thing one day and it was super hard on my body and caused contractions even when I hadn't been having any. Stay home, and stay down a bit longer. I know how difficult it is, but really if you do go early you will feel better if you know you did the best you could. Your leftovers dinner sounds awesome.

Soulshine, I don't think you ever completely go back to normal again. I don't parent the same way I would have without us having had a loss. But it was so healing to hold and nurse and care for my little one, especially once those first few months of checking him every five minutes to see if he was still breathing had passed. I know that a lot of my doubts will ease up when this little guy is here too. I don't think they are safer on the outside too, though I totally understand the feeling. I had an induction with J. because at 38 weeks I just started freaking about cord accidents, and had to have him where I could hold him. I don't want to do that again, but it was so necessary at that time.

Selena I'm glad the contractions eased up. I wonder if after all this you'll end up wanting to kick the baby out at 41 weeks

Sage It doesn't matter what any of these people think of you, it matters that you get the help you need. Don't worry about being a pest to them, get help, you aren't undermining anyone by getting a second opinion you are taking care of yourself. Did he call you back?
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Old 10-11-2008, 03:26 AM
 
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Originally Posted by avivaelona View Post
Selena I'm glad the contractions eased up. I wonder if after all this you'll end up wanting to kick the baby out at 41 weeks
NOT FUNNY- this is what happened with DD. after 9 weeks of bedrest she stayed put. I really don't want to do that again.
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Old 10-11-2008, 04:26 AM
 
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So I think the bladder infection may be turning into a kidney infection. Two days after starting antibiotics, I'm not feeling better and my back is feeling very tender around my kidneys.

I'm seriously trying to do well with bed rest. It's hard. I've been on some sort of "taking it easy" since July and should hopefully continue through December 5. Five month is a LONG time. I guess I've been up a little more this week because we had a negative FFN and so in my head it's like "I have a 1% chance of going into labor". But now that I have a kidney thing going on, I'm guessing I'll get to go back to the hospital where they'll make sure I'm on bed rest!
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