***High Risk Mamas Support Thread*** - Page 19 - Mothering Forums

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#541 of 849 Old 10-17-2008, 04:35 AM
 
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Wow Sage, that is just appalling. I'm new here so I don't know what's going on with you, but nobody should be treated that way. I'm sorry you had to go through that.
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#542 of 849 Old 10-17-2008, 01:27 PM
 
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Sage- it seems if it rains it pours for you. I would love to slap that Peri for you. I cant believe some people. Hang in there. From what i figured your are about 33 weeks, i would just ask for that induction next week, or maybe those contrax you are having will bring little Lucien sooner than that.

Christy- it seems everything is going well for you. YAY

AFM- my mini MW rant- I am debating calling the MW to see if i should go in today. Today is my normal visit day and i don't have an appointment because last week i had my home visit and one didn't get set up. But i don't really want to go. I have been frustrated with my MW lately and not sure i really need/want to go today. She has had a MW friend/helper? in from TX lately and i realy don't like her (she leaves tomorrow, YAY) and i emailed MW my birth plan on wednesday and haven't heard anything back from her. I will not discuss it with Carol (the friend) there, so what is the point of driving 30 mins each way for a weight urine, BP check. Everything has been normal up to this point. UGH i don't know. I am 38 weeks tomorrow, part of me feels like i chose the wrong MW. I mean i trust her "medical" judgement 100% and my doula will be there to support me. I just wished i had a connection like i did with my previous birth center MW.- ok i am done rambling- if anyone has any advice.

GOOD NEWS 38 weeks tomorrow. I am ready for the baby to come, although i could still use to finish up some stuff. I am tired, sore, and restless and want to meet my baby. I am ready, any time little baby.
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#543 of 849 Old 10-17-2008, 05:07 PM
 
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Selena that is so great that you are fully term and ready to go. I'm sorry you aren't clicking with your midwife, maybe skip the appointment today and make it later in the week when the friend will be gone, that might have been part of the connection problem, some people just aren't themselves even quite with someone else around...they are too influenced by others and if you didn't like friend than you are likely not to like the midwife when she is around the friend if she is like that.

Sage oh my god, tell that evil woman to come on here and we will have a real meeting of minds. Yeah you've been so freaking attention seeking that we have to chase you to even call anyone. I'm so glad you got the steroids and you know, great if you can hang on another three weeks and don't need them but if he's born a bit early I think he'll be ok and you can start to recover. ((((Hug))))

Welcome Shelby to our thread
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#544 of 849 Old 10-18-2008, 04:29 AM
 
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I love you guys.

Welcome to the club Shelby.

I post from my iPhone. But I am exhausted so will update tomorrow
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#545 of 849 Old 10-18-2008, 12:40 PM
 
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my OB was just here. He'll keep me herefor a few more days to allows to recharge. The catheter means I don't have to get up to pee and the bed saves me from having to put so much strain on my pelvic when i have to switch positions in bed.
He said we can induce in a month or so, we'll see how I feel then. I would love it if he came on his own, when he's ready.
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#546 of 849 Old 10-18-2008, 12:48 PM
 
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sage that is fantastic news. i think it will be great to stay a bit and recharge.
sarah, hows the hair???
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#547 of 849 Old 10-18-2008, 01:17 PM
 
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Sage i am glad you are going to be able to rest.

I had a night of prodermal labor, i am still contracting, but i doubt it is going to pick up again until night again.
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#548 of 849 Old 10-18-2008, 08:00 PM
 
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our son was born, stillborn.

he died on wednesday, october 15th, sometime between 8am when we heard his strong heart beating on the doppler, and 2pm when we could not find it. we went to the hospital to have an ultrasound, but he was gone. i was admitted to l&d, and we induced that evening.

on thursday, i labored, and gave birth to our son, anton harold, at 2:39pm. he weighed 2lbs 15oz, and was 16.5 inches long. he was perfect in every way. there is no definitive answer, but i feel in my heart, at this point, that it had something to do with the umbilical cord.

we are home, and in so much mental shock and pain. we have a daughter who died at 41wk5d, and now her brother, who died at 29wk5d. we did not think lightening could strike twice in the same place, but it did.

we are burying him on thursday. i don't know what else to say.

i have received so much support from you all here in the past 3 months. i thank you for all of your thoughts and even prayers now, as my husband and i need them more than ever before.
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#549 of 849 Old 10-18-2008, 08:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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No, no, no!!!! soulshine, my heart is absolutely breaking for you and your DH. I just cannot find the words through my tears. I am sending you so much love and many hugs. This is beyond unfair. It is cruel. I do not understand. I am praying that you find peace, strength, and healing. Be gentle with yourself, mama.


To all my girls: I am sorry I have been so absent. I just popped on today for the first time in weeks. I hope you understand why I need to stay away. I think of you all often and am sending you all love.

Marine ecologist wife to my kite-boarding soulmate and now a SAHM to Annabelle 8/02, 3 , and finally Willem 12/21/08!
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#550 of 849 Old 10-18-2008, 10:19 PM
 
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nooo!! Oh mama, my heart hurts. I'm so very sorry for your loss and pain. I cannot find the words to express my sadness but know that I'm here and thinking of you and your husband, of your son.
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#551 of 849 Old 10-18-2008, 10:27 PM
 
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oh god, soulshine, no no no. i just cannot get my brain around this and im crying for you right now. you are the second woman i know this week with two late losses in a row.
i know youve been through this before and those of us who have also been through it have little to offer you except all our love and tears and prayers. my heart is just breaking for you and i cant imagine what you and hubby are going through.
please lean on us and all the people in your life as much as you can, know that you are loved. i will light a candle right now for you guys and your sweet babe. please take care of yourself and give yourself all that you need.
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#552 of 849 Old 10-18-2008, 10:30 PM
 
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holly,
is this other woman an mdc woman, or someone else? i feel very alone in this regard, i just don't know anyone else who has had this happen twice. could you pm me and tell me more about her situation? anything? thank you.
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#553 of 849 Old 10-18-2008, 10:35 PM
 
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honey, she is from another board. her losses were totally unrelated to each other. like you, she was high risk with the second but lost her through a cord incident. i will PEM her right now.

what i remember from when this happened to me - any rituals in terms of funeral or whatever should be whatever comforts you and hubby. dont try to do the "right thing". what comforts you will best honor your baby.
i know now that i was lucid, but looking back i was in shock for three or four months. i think your body is even in shock somehow. of course you probably remember that people dont know what the hell to do or say to you adn it will probably be double this time. i hope you can let them love you and take care of you in their absolutely imperfect ways. now is the time to just take, take,take, even if you are bad at taking love and attention.
my candle is lit for you guys and ill pem her now. xxooo
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#554 of 849 Old 10-18-2008, 10:44 PM
 
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Oh Soulshine I am so so sad for you. That is far too much unfairness and sadness for anyone to have to endure. Please know that I'm crying with you and heartbroken for you.

a totally inadequate for Anton.
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#555 of 849 Old 10-18-2008, 11:18 PM
 
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Soulshine I know someone who had 7 losses (four early, 3 late, including one baby who lived for several months) from my MISS forumn. She's still posting there sometimes, baby 8 was born around the same time my J. was. If you go to the MISS forumn you will find others who have had more than one later loss. I wish there never were any but I can imagine it might help to talk to some who have had it happen.

I can't even find the words to say what I want to say. I'm so sorry.
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#556 of 849 Old 10-18-2008, 11:29 PM
 
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Soulshine- I am so sorry for your loss. for your little one. I can not imagine how you are feeling, having never lost a baby, but know we are all here for you if you need us.
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#557 of 849 Old 10-19-2008, 12:16 AM
 
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soulshine- I'm sending my love
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#558 of 849 Old 10-19-2008, 12:31 AM
 
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Honey would you like someone to post a thread on the general DDC? I started to but don't want to do that if it would be intrusive. I know that it doesn't help much now but I do treasure those words I had about Isaac.
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#559 of 849 Old 10-19-2008, 09:09 AM
 
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Oh soulshine, I am so very sorry!!!!!

I've lit a candle and I will definitely be saying prayers for you, Anton and your family for some time to come. I wish you the best in finding peace with this soon.



So very, very sorry for your loss,

Christy
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#560 of 849 Old 10-19-2008, 11:40 AM
 
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thank you ladies, so much for your thoughts.

aviva,
if you want... i feel so weak to even try to do something like that. i kept to this thread because i had such a deep fear of a second loss... hard to be a part of the 'regular crowd' but at the same time wanting so badly to have a 'normal' experience of pregnancy for my son.

when my daughter died, i spent so much time on the p&l board, got so much support there, but i can't do it again, maybe i will change my mind, as the support feels so soothing to the empty soul.

i guess it would be nice, for more people to know his name and that he existed. i also don't want to scare anyone, introduce fear where there should be expectation and joy. what happened is so rare though, like all losses. the chances are so great that things will be fine. that is why it is so hard to understand why this has happened twice to us, to each of our children, our son and our daughter. i don't feel it is related.

thank you again for thinking of our anton. he deserves everything, yet he was robbed of it all. i am so angry, sad, and empty. he was such a beautiful little boy. big. really only 5 weeks away from birth, the way things were going... so unfair and cruel. his life seems to have started so so long ago. we tried for so long to conceive him, and it was so intense, the process of ivf and how lucky we were that he was conceived and grew inside. a perfect little child.

love to you all...
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#561 of 849 Old 10-19-2008, 02:01 PM
 
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I am so sorry, soulshine.

sweet Anton

Amanda

Amanda Rose, author, Rebuild From Depression: A Nutrient Guide. Don't miss this opportunity to build a business telling friends about probiotic foods and grass fed meats: Beyond Organic Review.

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#562 of 849 Old 10-19-2008, 02:06 PM
 
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soulshine, i didnt know your IVF history, that is just so flipping awful too. i think its sweet of you to think about worrying other moms, but i think every pregnant lady knows the score and you are entitled to all the love and comfort you can find.
none of it can make any sense from where we are now. its way too early to talk about hope and miracles that are so available to you right now, in a couple months we'll make some tea and email on that. right now know we are crying with you.
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#563 of 849 Old 10-19-2008, 03:29 PM
 
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Soulshine do you want to share your daughter's name? I'd like to send a card too if you want to share your address (PM is ok if you don't want to post)
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#564 of 849 Old 10-19-2008, 05:41 PM
 
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Soulshine -
I'm from the PAL board but also a Dec. mom. I followed this thread because it is the only one where I really fit it. I don't post because officially I'm not high risk but feel like I have more in common with you all than the other December threads. I'm so sorry to read of your loss. My heart is aching for you and I know it is not fair. I'm so sorry for you to have to do this again. Please know that we are thinking about you and sending you positive thoughts....
D.

D. proud Mom of H. E. M. and T. always remembering Norah (11/07 at 40 wks) and (10/06) see profile
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#565 of 849 Old 10-20-2008, 01:23 AM
 
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Soulshine, hugs again today. Not sure what else to say.

Sage.. how are you hanging in there?
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#566 of 849 Old 10-20-2008, 02:12 PM
 
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Sage how you doing?

to everyone.

Soulshine, we are here.
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#567 of 849 Old 10-20-2008, 02:31 PM
 
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Soulshine, I'm sorry sorry for your loss. I've been away from the computer for a few days and I'm so sad for you and your husband. This a time when this virtual community seems so completely inadequate. Wishing I could give you a hug or bring you soup...

As for me, we're hanging in there. The hair cut is cute. I had it cut into a blunt bob with a few bangs, and we kept it brown although added a "gloss" to make it shiny. My husband and I had a few hours yesterday to be together without the kids. We ate sushi and talked about life after this crazy time. Hard to believe I've been on bedrest for 16 weeks and we're finally getting close to the end of this pregnancy. This week I'm working on sewing baby's crib set...and hopefully Mark and I will work on his name.
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#568 of 849 Old 10-20-2008, 03:12 PM
 
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soulshine, I keep thinking of you. I hope you are getting rest and love from those around you. We're here if you wanna lean.
I'm still in the hospital. They took the IV out but left the catheter in do I don't have to move much. I still take antibiotics for the infection so they're not too concerned about the catheter causing infection. The downside is that the antibiotics have given me a yeast infection but I haven't told them because a) it's not bothering me and b) I'm scared they'd remove the catheter.
Lucien has dropped so far down that he can cause the catheter tubing to move on my leg. I've gone into labor twice, but we've been able to control it so far. If I go into full labor before Thursday they'd have to transfer me to BC Womens and I will not allow that peri near me again.
Because of the catheter and the bed my pain is so much better during the day so I only use the Demerol at night to get some sleep. Last night tho I was switched to oral Demerol (same dose) and it did nothing for the pain, I got no sleep. When I told the nurse I as concerned about it's effectiveness she said if it doesn't work I can have more in 6 hours. Why would I ask for more if it didn't work the first time? I'm doing everything I can to take as little pain meds as possible. I have to talk with an OB about that today.
I'll be here for a few more days.
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#569 of 849 Old 10-20-2008, 07:52 PM
 
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Soulshine, just wanted to let you know I'm still thinking of you, and saying a prayer for you and your family each time I glance at the candle.

Sage, hang in there! Glad to hear the hospital is at least making you a bit more comfortable!

Hi to everyone else! Have a good night,

Christy
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#570 of 849 Old 10-21-2008, 02:52 AM
 
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I went into labor again, again they stopped it though they said this is the last time they're going to stop it.

I don't think he's going to stick around in there much longer. He's dropped so far down that his heartrate goes down with contractions which means his head is being compressed in the birth canal. When he punches I fully expect his hand to come through my cervix.

They said I prob wouldn't need to transfer to BC Womens anymore, which is great.
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