***High Risk Mamas Support Thread*** - Page 9 - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#241 of 849 Old 08-18-2008, 06:42 PM
 
avivaelona's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Happy Vally MA
Posts: 3,214
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Sage. Hire help. Seriously. You need it. If you do ask for help from family be really really specific. Set up a chore chart, and call your mom and give her what for and a list of what she can do to help. Be really assertive.

avivaelona is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#242 of 849 Old 08-18-2008, 07:10 PM
 
soulshine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 249
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
sage,
i tell you, if i lived anywhere near you, i would come over and help!! even if it was bossing around your husband from a chair "clean up!!'. i am sure all of us would, without a second thought. but that doesn't really help your current situation.

your mom is clearly missing the point. and anyway, sometimes our pre-existing relationships will make us unable to communicate what we really need or want, especially with our parents... if she hasn't gotten it yet, she isn't going to! what a terrible thing. it makes me really mad for you.

husband and kids being messy, well, that is more workable. another 'meeting' with husband about it? make him talk to the kids 'mommy needs our help'...

and if that gets you nothing... i am totally in agreement with aviva!! you have 16 weeks (is that right?) left, and if you can find the $ to have a cleaning service come once a week, i would think that would be a great help. even once every other week. for your sanity!
soulshine is offline  
#243 of 849 Old 08-18-2008, 07:25 PM
 
Sage_SS's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: West Coast, BC
Posts: 2,732
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
k, after a second breakdown, with my 7 year old right beside me no less, I have now calmed down enough to breathe.

My husband is less than assertive when it comes to ensuring our kids have done their work. He comes from a childhood where nothing was ever expected of him, and he's having a hard time changing that as a parent himself.
I come from a childhood where everything was expected of me. I am far more reasonable in my expectations of my daughters that my mom was with me, but I can't enforce anything. I just end up getting seriously irritated and frustrated with my daughters and my husband. I'm sick of sounding like a nag. I'm tired of hoping someone will help us.
The depth of anger I feel toward my mother right now is .... well I'm sure you get it. I'm tempted to call her and tell her to come pick up my brother and then block her number from our phone.

I need to clear my head and think. I've sent off a couple of emails about getting someone in here to clean the house. I have to come up with some solutions.

I've had 'that' talk with my husband a couple of times. He's sore and tired when he gets home, he works really long days. He's a stunt man, so I know his muscles are sore and the last thing he wants to do is clean up the kitchen after getting dinner together. I can't keep saying the same stuff to him.

Aside from the pain of this pregnancy, all this other stuff has assured me that this will be our last baby.
Sage_SS is offline  
#244 of 849 Old 08-18-2008, 11:00 PM
 
soulshine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 249
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
jeez, sage... you have like 'the perfect storm' going on there in terms of why it is that your husband isn't helping more, you mom especially, and for you, why you would be very in tune with what is actually going on in your house!

hopefully getting someone in there to help clean will come through soon.

*hug*

you are being incredible with your staving off the meds and the caesar (thanks for the definition, btw) but i really hope you are taking them when you really need them! i hate to sound like a pusher, but a nice glass of wine or whatever to help you sleep is not going to harm baby, imho. if you had 2-3 a day for he length of the pregnancy, then yes, maybe a problem, but a therapeutic dosage of a bit of alcohol to help take the edge off the lack of sleep... i think its a pretty good thing.

man oh man am i sick of olympic beach volleyball!! enough already!
soulshine is offline  
#245 of 849 Old 08-18-2008, 11:07 PM
 
hollycat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 769
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
honeys - i was thinking of you all today. im on the take it easy no sex no exercise plan which is nowhere near bedrest. i can't imagine how hard this is, but i know the beautiful healthy babies you all will have are worth it.

sage, sweets, i am so with these gals. hire someone to clean. put the intention out there that the right angel will find you guys.

and here is a very gentle suggestion which you can tell me to shove up my a&% - maybe its time to consider surrender. letting it all go. do what you can (hire the cleaning person, rely on your friends, thats what they are there for) and considering just letting the rest go. truly consider that now, at this time, and in your condition, youre gonna make your mom, your hubby or your kids different people. because im not sure youre going to succeed and the only person who is really being driven crazy here is you.
yes, it would be great if they could see through your eyes and "get it" - but for now, maybe they cant. yes, it sucks to be the more evolved person. but maybe its time to say, screw it. im gonna handle what i can handle, and im not going to go crazy trying to control other people who are refusing to be controlled or refusing to change.
its not like anything you are saying isnt totally fair, rational and right. Its ALL fair and right. youre right. but the question i have for you is, is this tack working? is it solving the problem? or is it just making you miserable?
if its not working anyway, maybe you let everyone, and especially yourself off the hook. if youre at all spiritual, turn it over to god, to spirit and say, i give up. im open to help, but i cant do this anymore.
ive seen miracles happen in that space you cant belive.
listen, i have no idea what youre going thru and no right to offer any kind of advice. but it seems sanity can be yours, and maybe thats your victory here. will the kids be harder to reign in later? maybe. will your mom or hubby ever get it? maybe. is it worth it for you to have all this off your back, now, for you and the baby? i think definately.
sent with love, h
hollycat is offline  
#246 of 849 Old 08-18-2008, 11:28 PM
 
Sage_SS's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: West Coast, BC
Posts: 2,732
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
you guys are really amazing and so supportive. If I could, I'd shower all of you with all the love I could muster.

I think today just kinda broke me. With the worries of the growth on my placenta, the cyst on the baby's brain, the history of PE and my OB isn't doing anything to prevent another from happening, the level of pain I'm trying to cope with, the total lack of sleep and getting no support... it all snowballed on me.
An MDC mama contacted me and she's doing some research on my behalf as to finding some support within my community. She lives 16 hours away, but she's so fantastic she's giving some of her time to me.

So this is what I'm doing to try to make some sense of all this:

I've hired someone to come in and clean the house.
I'm going to call the BC Women's hospital and try to get some support regarding blood disorders, growths on placenta's and cysts on babies's brains.
I'm going to let go of any expectations from my family. Its only hurting me.
I'm going to go mad and set up loads of playdates for my girls.
I'm going to talk with my hubby again about the need to provide food for me.
I'm going to tell my Dad that he can't vent to me, not until I tell him otherwise.

There must be some way I can show you guys how much I appreciate you being here... I'm going to think on that for awhile.
Sage_SS is offline  
#247 of 849 Old 08-18-2008, 11:52 PM
 
avivaelona's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Happy Vally MA
Posts: 3,214
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Good points to everyone. Sage really I wish I could come help, and wouldn't that be funny, two ladies on bedrest staggering around your house?

Soulshine ditto, beach volleyball is only fun to watch if you are camped out on the beach next to it with something cool to drink.

I'm stressing over everything tonight. (what if I love this baby more, what if I love him less, I don't want to stay at home another three years I don't want to go back to work...etc) The baby either has the worlds slowest hiccups or has great rhythm and is kicking me to the beat of every other tick of my clock.

PS Sage you are here for us too and that's the only appreciation that I need. That sounds like a great proactive list...we cross posted so I edited to add this.
avivaelona is offline  
#248 of 849 Old 08-18-2008, 11:53 PM
 
hollycat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 769
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
sage - you sound so good on this. i love your turnaround with all of it. really EXCELLENT self care (and therefore family care) youre showing right now.

im an everythign for a reason person and i know if you really get lessons like this in time of crisis you get them for the rest of your life and become a much more peaceful, and more powerful person. i dont know you but im really proud of you.
hollycat is offline  
#249 of 849 Old 08-19-2008, 10:13 AM - Thread Starter
 
ChesapeakeBorn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: by the Bay in MD
Posts: 1,194
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
Sage, that is such an excellent plan. I am so sorry I was around yesterday evening to help you though this one! Hiring a cleaning lady is soooo worth it. Hey, call on your friends more too - they may be more receptive than your family. And cheers to you for standing up and asserting your needs!!!

If you are up for it, there might be something you can do to help your kiddos with their responsibilities. Maybe you've already tried, but just in case you haven't.... For my DD, I made a little chart of the tasks she needs to do to get ready in the morning. As she is a beginning reader, I wrote the name of the tasks and then took a picture of her doing each one. Next to each there is a blank box. I had it laminated, then used that velcro tape stuff to stick a dry-erase marker to the chart, and hung it on her wall. So each morning, she knows what she has to do on her own and checks it off. She loves it. Maybe something similar would help you guys? You could put stuff like "put dishes in the sink" (or dishwasher or whatever), "put dirty clothes in hamper", etc. It could take the load off of you and your husband. At the end of the day, before bed, they could bring you their charts and you could sit for a few minutes as a family to discuss how the day went. Just an idea.

Many, many hugs to you!

Soushine, I am soooooo with you on the volleyball. I truly respect their talents and skills, but I kinda want to see some other sports too.

Aviva, sounds like we are in the same stressing/anxiety phase. If there is anything to worry about, it seems like these days I will find it.

Marine ecologist wife to my kite-boarding soulmate and now a homeschooling SAHM to Annabelle 8/02 and Willem 12/08!
ChesapeakeBorn is offline  
#250 of 849 Old 08-19-2008, 03:22 PM
 
Sage_SS's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: West Coast, BC
Posts: 2,732
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I don't usually get so low. I can carry the weight of stress pretty good. But all those points just loaded on me. There's only one kind of stress I absolutley cannot handle. At all, not even a tiny bit. And thats the stress from concern about my childs health. Those ones kill me.
When my stupid OB told me about the cyst and the growth on my placenta, his gentle let down of bad news included terms like "rarely" "usually".

I've heard those before. As in "rarely do women get this severe of PSD"
and "usually pancreatitis doesn't occur twice in one month" and "rarely has a 14 year old been diagnosed with bleeding ulcers"

If there's a list comprised of people who fall under the "rarely" and "usually" side, my name is there.

I'm going to get started on my list today. I believe in "everything happens for a reason too" Holly. The lessons I've learned from the lowest points impact my everyday.

Aviva- your child will be loved so well, everyone will see it in its smile, hear it in its laughter. When a new baby is brought into a house, everyone fits together like pieces of a puzzle. Like you were always together.

CB- thats a great way to teach kids chores. We used the same plan when our daughters were little, and with both my foster brothers. I think I will create another chore chart for them... thanks for the advice!

I stopped watching the olympics cuz I was tired of the swimming. I take it the swimming is over now? CBC and NBC both have a very annoying trait of only filming the american and chinese athletes. (At least for gymnastics) and its driving me crazy!!! I sit here and stare at an athlete picking at their eye, or running their hand through their hair, for like 4 mins!!! I can hear the crowds so I know someone else is competing so why am I watching this guy just stand here?!?!

Hey...are any of you DTD? My hubby keeps asking me if we can *try* to find a way that will work, and I've thought of maybe a couple of positions that might work, but I usually feel so crappy it never happens. Poor guy....

I smell bacon. : lol... my daughters are making me breakfast! :
Sage_SS is offline  
#251 of 849 Old 08-19-2008, 06:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
ChesapeakeBorn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: by the Bay in MD
Posts: 1,194
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
No DTD here - not since April! Can't do that with a subchorionic hematoma. And it is something we usually can't go without very long. Poor DH. He hasn't said a thing about it though. I think we are both too afraid of jeopardizing the situation.

Sage, I know what you mean about those terms "rarely" or "usually". Who's to say I'm not in the minority? I don't trust them either and it has lead to numerous meltdowns.

Marine ecologist wife to my kite-boarding soulmate and now a homeschooling SAHM to Annabelle 8/02 and Willem 12/08!
ChesapeakeBorn is offline  
#252 of 849 Old 08-19-2008, 07:52 PM
 
avivaelona's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Happy Vally MA
Posts: 3,214
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yeah IC, SCH, Severe PSD, all rare, we are all here on this thread because of the rarelys.

No DTD here either, pelvic rest until the stitch comes out, last time we tried a few times once it was out but 37 weeks pregnant is not the best time to start trying to have a sex life again. Then it was 6 months post partum before it stopped hurting down there. (I had an undissolved dissolving stitch) and I was nursing so I didn't like the whole idea. DH and I have a great partnership but the sexual relationship has been kind of "non-existant to eh" for the last 4 years. We had one quickie after a short dry spell actually and it resulted in this pregnancy, yeesh.
avivaelona is offline  
#253 of 849 Old 08-19-2008, 09:28 PM
 
soulshine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 249
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
chiming in on 'no sex'
and
being on the shiddy side of the statistics.

no fun.

but, i am definitely not a 'everything happens for a reason' kind of girl. i think things happen, and some times you can eek out some kind of lesson or gem of wisdom out of it, but sometimes things just suck with no bonus or hidden lining. that's just me though.

i am looking forward to having a normal sex life again!! that will be wonderful! : i am going to say that the last time i had normal sex was sometime in 2004. since then it has been tinged with grief, ttc-obsession, and utter frustration. and now we are banned from doing it! so, sometime in mid-2009, it will be normal again!! tap tap tap tap....
soulshine is offline  
#254 of 849 Old 08-20-2008, 02:35 AM
 
avivaelona's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Happy Vally MA
Posts: 3,214
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Really truly normal sex? Sometime in 2003. bleh.

I had a meltdown about collard greens tonight, here is the story:
See we got these beautiful collard greens at the farm share, and I've really been looking forward to having them...very little food is actually tempting to me at all, and this was one of the few things that sounded delicious. So DH made them tonight and thinking he was making them extra yummy he put turkey bacon in them. I don't really like non-veggie collards even if its a meat that I eat in them. But a few days ago I told him that especially I just wasn't being able to eat the turkey bacon, and he forgot. I tried to eat the collards anyway but I just couldn't. He felt so terribly bad I was trying to say it was ok, and well, I just ended up losing it instead. (at least I waited til DS fell asleep) but just a total pregnant woman sobfest. I know we'll look back on this in five years and be totally hysterically laughing that I was heartbroken over collard greens, but, I totally am. I wanted them sooooo badly. And lately I just hardly want anything (food or otherwise) so it felt so good to be excited about something even if it was just collard greens....all ruined. :sob

On the funny side though, I told him I was sad he didn't know what food I liked and he listed all the foods he knows I do like and it made me laugh. He's a good guy and I know I'm lucky even if he was a doofus about the collards tonight.

I think you can find lessons in everything and its certainly a better way to cope with hard stuff in life rather than just cursing it, but I don't think everything happens for a reason, because I can't look at the loss of my baby that way, it just hurts too much to think of it has having had a "reason" somehow. It hurts more actually because then I think that my living son wouldn't be here if my dead son was, and wow, who wants to be putting their children on a balance scale. I want them both even if that wouldn't be possible.
avivaelona is offline  
#255 of 849 Old 08-20-2008, 02:57 AM
 
hollycat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 769
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
piss. back from US today and i have a shortening thinning cervix. going back in a week, on modified BR. piss. piss. hugs to you all.
hollycat is offline  
#256 of 849 Old 08-20-2008, 03:03 AM
 
Sage_SS's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: West Coast, BC
Posts: 2,732
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm sorry to hear that Holly. Does that mean you'll have a cerclage like aviva?
Sage_SS is offline  
#257 of 849 Old 08-20-2008, 03:11 AM
 
hollycat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 769
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
not yet sage. since im 21/22 weeks we're just going to look closely at it. i think there is some concern about doing one after 19 weeks but ob did mention it.
because i lost my last babe at about 28 wks i get a little nervous in ultrasounds and i just sortof went into a little shock and didnt listen as well as i should have. it shortened quite a bit from teh "normal" of the last US three weeks ago. so im going to try to get more info here.
hollycat is offline  
#258 of 849 Old 08-20-2008, 10:19 AM - Thread Starter
 
ChesapeakeBorn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: by the Bay in MD
Posts: 1,194
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
Holly, ask you doc about P17 shots if you aren't already on them!! They are for women who have had previous preterm deliveries and they prevent the cervix from doing just what yours is doing. I am on them so let me know if you want more info.

Marine ecologist wife to my kite-boarding soulmate and now a homeschooling SAHM to Annabelle 8/02 and Willem 12/08!
ChesapeakeBorn is offline  
#259 of 849 Old 08-20-2008, 11:14 AM
 
avivaelona's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Happy Vally MA
Posts: 3,214
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yeah a cerclage this late in the game is unusual..they don't have a good success rate once the cervix starts to thin and the risk of infection is higher, but I would totally check into the P17 shots, they aren't "standard of care" at this point so a lot of docs don't do them but it does look like there is some good evidence that they can help.

I'm so sorry to welcome you to the bedrest crew Holly but at least we are here to keep you company. Baby stay IN there
avivaelona is offline  
#260 of 849 Old 08-20-2008, 11:34 AM
 
hollycat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 769
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
guys, thanks a ton for any info you can give and of course your encouragement.
hollycat is offline  
#261 of 849 Old 08-20-2008, 11:34 AM
 
soulshine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 249
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
holly,
that is terrible news, but it could just be something they just end up watching, too. i totally agree with chesapeake, ask about the p17 shots.

aviva,
sorry about the collard greens! yuck- turkey bacon! i think like you said it is about getting excited and then that little thing was taken away... that's how i feel about getting my cup of decaf in the morning. sometimes my mom waits until like noon and i totally obsess over it 'oh, why can't i have my decaf now? what is she doing? why doesn't anyone understand my need for this ONE thing...' it really ends up being quite funny, how emotional i get over it. luckily she liked decaf as much as i do so usually i can start my day off with it- phew! that was very wonderful of your husband to save face like that with your list of foods he knows you like. it feels good to be 'known' sometimes. so, you need to get some new fresh collards. next farm share?

well, i have been having emotional ups and downs too. i am insanely jealous! my husband works with 4 beautiful young women at work, and one of them has no conception of the boundaries of marriage and she is needy in a bad way, so i have banned him from spending unnecessary time with her, which felt like a terrible thing to do, but the last thing i need right now is to worry over whether this girl is hitting on my husband while i am at home helpless to defend him! of course he doesn't see it this way, he thinks she is completely innocent, but i tell you, i got a bad vibe from her the first time i met her. do you ever get that bad vibe? its like a 6th sense or something very primal. i also think i am very sensitive to this type of situation, as my last long-term relationship, albeit 17 years ago, ended because a similar girl moved in on my man, we lived with another couple and the girl in that couple and my boyfriend had an illicit affair for months right under my nose, all the while telling me i was crazy for thinking something was going on and actually getting angry that i didn't trust them! its a terrible feeling to be betrayed. that girl from 17 years ago- i had a sense about her too. so, the overlapping memories and now being stuck on bedrest, i hate thinking about it. and to go a little deeper, as long as i am blabbering on about this, the feeling of betrayal- that is what i am really responding to, because i tell you, after my daughter died, when we came home from the hospital, i was all of the sudden struck one day how similar that affair-betrayal feeling was to this new-found feeling of great loss of my baby. i felt so lost, and without any base to stand on, like everything i knew and trusted and hoped for and wanted had been taken away overnight. i felt barely 'here'. it was obviously much worse, grieving the loss of my baby, but i can remember thinking how the last time i felt anything even close to what i was going thru was when i found out about that affair.

but, the good thing is that i do actually trust my husband. i do not think he would ever betray me like that. but i get really mad thinking about this needy girl asking him out for beers after work and staying after her shift to talk to him. like i need to be worrying about that. ugggh.

so, in maine, we are in for 6 straight days of gorgeous late-summer weather! yeeha! tomorrow morning, i am going to go with my mom to the ocean, she is going to take the dogs for a walk, and i get to sit on the rocks and suck up some ocean energy in the sun! i am so excited about this! its just like aviva's collard greens! i hope there is no element of turkey bacon waiting in the wings of my outing!

a friend reminded me of how much i like to make jewelry, so i am going to find my old stuff and haul it up to 'bedrest central' for some entertainment.
looking forward to this too.

the women's gymnastics are all done at the olympics... i really liked the tall thin blonde american gymnast over the smaller one with brown hair (sorry, i can't remember their names...) and was rooting for all golds for her, but she only got one i think. i thought she had better 'lines' for gymnastics, aesthetically. but the smaller one was really athletic... sage, you are absolutely right about the stupid coverage only showing americans doing the events. i mean, does canada even have a gymnastic team?! i would not know, because nbc only showed the americans the chinese (which they kept insisting were too young) and the occasional russian girl. all that cheering in the background drives me crazy too! why do i need to see this girl waiting for the big score when there is clearly some action happening over on the balance beam??!!

well, that was a long post, for your reading enjoyment.
soulshine is offline  
#262 of 849 Old 08-20-2008, 01:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
ChesapeakeBorn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: by the Bay in MD
Posts: 1,194
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
soushine, to you! It is good that you are talking to your husband about your worries. Our emotional needs are just as important as our physical need (requirement) for bedrest. Keeping focusing on the fact that you can trust him. And I am tempted to say give that girl a call, but I don't know what the repercussions would be.

This is such an emotional time. I remember seeing a trend with the girls in the PAL thread around this time and told myself to remember that when it started happening to me! And yup, here we all are with our own collard green woes.

Holly, here is the deal on P17. It is a weekly injection of 17 alpha-hydroxyprogesterone caproate during the second half of pregnancy that prevents cervical shortening. They think that the progesterone levels in women with cervical incompetence or premature cervical changes drops too early in the pregnancy, however this is hard to measure. This medication is delivered in a form that can be properly absorbed by the right receptors to replace the progesterone that is diminishing. Here is a Feb 2007 article from the March of Dimes website that talks about it. I have found scholarly articles regarding P17 research all the way back to 1985, although it has just been in the past few years that it is becoming more and more well known for its success. Here is an example of a more recent study: http://acogjnl.highwire.org/cgi/cont...ract/105/2/267

I consulted with 2 perinatologists and 2 OBs (all from different practices) and all have recommended and seen success with it. There is no mercury in the injection, just alcohol, oil, and the medication that is replacing what your body may be lacking. If I were you, I would demand it.

Hugs to everyone today!

Marine ecologist wife to my kite-boarding soulmate and now a homeschooling SAHM to Annabelle 8/02 and Willem 12/08!
ChesapeakeBorn is offline  
#263 of 849 Old 08-20-2008, 03:19 PM
 
hollycat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 769
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
thanks babes, all of you for the info. i so appreciate it.
soulshine i LOVE the idea of you making jewelry. i love the idea of really using this time to do something creative, something for you.
hollycat is offline  
#264 of 849 Old 08-20-2008, 04:13 PM
 
Sage_SS's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: West Coast, BC
Posts: 2,732
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Holly, I hope you can get info from your doc, something that sounds lovely to your ears and warming to your belly. I keep thoughts of you folded in my heart until you find enough knowledge to equal comfort.

Soulshine, that IS a yucky place to be! I can't stand women like that. If you know a man is married, then back off. Behaviour like this is what gives women a "catty" name. Have you talked to your hubby? Maybe tell him that your feelings aren't about him or his behaviours, assure him that you trust him. Its just these old feelings combined with this woman's behaviour that are hurting you. Ask him if he can talk about you at work. Not in an obvious "I'm married you idiot" kind of way, but more in like a concerned kind of way. Like "no, I can't stick around. My wife is at home and I've been thinking about her all day, I just want to go home and spend some time with her".

I hate feelings that leave me feeling insecure. I'm not insecure by nature, but some experiences bring those feelings back. And they are soooo unpleasant. I hope you get this resolved so you can get back to YOU and how amazing YOU are.

So I've spent the last few days looking online for kittens. I wanted to find a black one and a white one. I couldn't find a white one anywhere! I even posted wanted ads! So yesterday I found two black ones, they're brothers. They're friggin adorable. And because they're together they don't cry much. My hubby picked them up last night. The girls are fawning over them.. but seriously, what the heck was I thinking?? TWO kittens and THREE little girls?? lol.. I can't tell you how many times we've heard "hey! Its not just your kitten, its all of ours!"
So this morning I got an email from a little with two litters of white kittens. She rescued two young white mothers and they each had a litter. All the kittens are white. Figures...
I'm thinking... whats the difference between 2 and 3? Really? I mean, we have 3 daughters and my husband and I. We're all pet lovers and we take good care of our pets. The only thing is, this woman wants $150 for a kitten to cover her costs. I understand that. BUT we get free vet services so I can't justify spending so much money on a kitten when we wouldn't pay for its shots or spaying anyway.. KWIM? So I sent her an email and asked her if she'd consider accepting less money. I don't want to screw her over, I highly commend her for her care and generosity. Honestly, I'm humbled by her actions. But I'm trying to think what would be a fair price for one? She's getting their first shots this morning, and she's dewormed them. What does it cost for that?

What do you guys think?
Sage_SS is offline  
#265 of 849 Old 08-20-2008, 06:22 PM
 
Sage_SS's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: West Coast, BC
Posts: 2,732
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
you know, for the last two days I've been trying to make peace with all this. I've felt very calm, like a quiet has settled within. I've pretty much been in bed since Sunday. I took some pain killerson Sat night and Monday afternoon. Thats all. If I don't walk much, the pain is more bearable. Still not getting any sleep, but thats par for the course for severe PSD. I think I'm getting to a point where I'm ok with all this.

Once in a while a good breakdown is cleansing Even helpful if you have amazing online buddies to help you through it.

:

btw.. for nearly this entire pregnancy I've felt like the baby was going to be overdue. For the last week or so I've had this slowly emerging feeling that its going to be early. Do you guys have any intuitive feelings like this?
Sage_SS is offline  
#266 of 849 Old 08-20-2008, 07:32 PM
 
soulshine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 249
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
"no, I can't stick around. My wife is at home and I've been thinking about her all day, I just want to go home and spend some time with her"
sage,
this had me laughing right out loud. i wish i was married to you! i can't really imagine my husband actually forming those words, although he feels that way, but he as as 'typical' a guy as they come in this stereotypical manner. i have talked to him about it- and i think he understands but i know he feels like i am wrong about her. but any way i run it through my head, it just seems wrong, her behavior. i mean, she is young- 22. so she doesn't have a ton of life experience, but i can't see it being ok to think asking your boss out for a beer or staying late until he is done working to have a glass of wine with him (we have a restaurant), i mean, doesn't this seem a little off? i haven't mentioned yet that she was basically dating her professor at college, they both denied it because its against the school's policy, but clearly, she has no idea of what is 'ok' and what is not ok. to me, she craves and needs the attention of older men in a power position. she doesn't date her peers. to me, she has a psychological problem that could probably be resolved in therapy, but i really don't want my husband hanging out with her in the mean time.

anyway!! he knows how i feel about it, so, that's that. i have been having all of these emotional-flashbacks to when my old boyfriend put me thru this, and its just such a horrible thing. i hate cheating.

so, back to the kittens.

how cute are they?!! i love kittens, i had 2, bro+sis- went to get 1 but ended up with 2! they were the best sweetest puffballs ever, they have since died, but there is nothing like a cat or 2 (or 3!!) around to bring a certain wonderful energy to your environment/life. that $150 seems steep. i think our local spca asks for a fee of $100 per cat, and sometimes they do 2for1. i hope she renegotiates with you so you can get a 3rd. what about a grown cat, or a teenager-cat? already fixed, maybe less $?

about the edd. i know i am going max 39 weeks. i think if everything was 'normal' and no cesarian, my last pregnancy went to 41wk5d, so maybe past edd again? although, the second baby is supposed to come earlier, right? when have you gone with your other children? i hope you go as early as possible toward your edd, less time in bed! it would be great if you were all healed up over the holidays!

holly,
so, how is your bedrest so far? i think the info chesapeake gave you is great. i have yet to go get my beads etc but i'll do it tomorrow. i need some new stuff, am tied of all my old stuff, and i usually have NO time to do it, so this is the perfect opportunity.
soulshine is offline  
#267 of 849 Old 08-20-2008, 09:39 PM
 
Sage_SS's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: West Coast, BC
Posts: 2,732
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Well it was a longshot. My husband wouldn't think to say that either, but if I asked him, he might. Just to make me feel better. Thats a tough situation.

The kittens are sooooo freakin cute!!!!!

With my first daughter I went two weeks overdue, and even then had to be induced. Apparently I make a nice, comfy home.
My second daughter was induced 3 weeks early because of this complication. The specialists said in rare (there's that stupid word again) cases there have been women whose bones have never recovered. They wanted to induce early to reduce the possibility.
My third daughter was induced at (what they thought was) three weeks early, for the same reason. She flipped around and around and turned breech. So I was rushed in for an emergency c/s (NEVER again) and when they pulled her out, they discovered they were waaay off with my dates. Georgia was six weeks early.

I have told my doctor that I will refuse induction, unless its necessary. And if he tells me its necessary I will be looking for a second and third opinion, so he'd better be damn sure. I feel ripped off that I've gone through labor THREE times and have no idea what it feels like to go into labor naturally.
I've also told him the same for c/s. I hated the c/s. It took me 2 months to heal, compared to the few days for vagina delivery.

Soulshine, FYI its my dream to own my own restaurant one day! ::
Sage_SS is offline  
#268 of 849 Old 08-21-2008, 01:50 PM
 
hollycat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 769
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
hey lovies -
checking in to send you my best. been reading up on this condition, the doctor was pretty non plussed about it but i am going back on tues for another ultrasound and if that cervix has changed at all im pinning him right to the wall for a diagnosis and a plan.

how do you guys balance doing the research and being prepared for all scenerios, while staying positive (which i personally think is vital?)

the research can drive you crazy and i cant get much info on the success rates for women who dont get the stitch, etc, so the mind can go of course. thanks again for all the support. h
hollycat is offline  
#269 of 849 Old 08-21-2008, 03:26 PM
 
avivaelona's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Happy Vally MA
Posts: 3,214
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Holly I don't know the percent rates at all, but I believe most women with the issue do make it to a reasonable gestation. Do take the bedrest seriously but I think you have a good chance of holding on til November at least, if not quite December! I hope your doctor will be on board with the p17 shots and if it looks like labor is imminent steroid shots for the babe. Hang in there, I'll be thinking strong cervix thoughts for you!
avivaelona is offline  
#270 of 849 Old 08-21-2008, 04:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
ChesapeakeBorn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: by the Bay in MD
Posts: 1,194
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
Congrats on the kittens Sage!! Oh, I bet they are so cute. I just love cats. We adopted 2 adults from the Humane Society a few years ago and they have me totally wrapped around their little paws. So cuddly and affectionate.

Holly, it is hard to balance getting the info you need and not being scared senseless by some of the stuff you come across. They way I used to look at it was that I was doing what I had to do to ensure the best possible outcome - I had to educate myself and be assertive because I felt I couldn't always trust someone who didn't specialize in my condition. By the time I was done, I can safely say that I knew more about it than my OB! So off to the peri I went and fortunately he too knew a lot and is now guarding my pregnancy closely. I don't focus on the what-ifs so much now, although I do have my moments. I have prepared for the worst and done my best to prevent it. The rest is in God's hands. But I'll tell you, when I first started researching I was an emotional wreck.

Just an update - Had a good scan at the peri's today. The P17 is doing its job and also the hematoma is gone!!! He actually recommended that I am not on complete bed rest at this point. My muscles are very weak after 3.5 months of total bedrest and my heart works like crazy whenever I am up and about. So he said it would be good for me to do a bit more walking around. I haven't decided whether to start this now. I may wait till 24 weeks. And even then we are just talking about being up and around the house a little. I will not be even close to normal activity until 36 weeks or so.

Marine ecologist wife to my kite-boarding soulmate and now a homeschooling SAHM to Annabelle 8/02 and Willem 12/08!
ChesapeakeBorn is offline  
Reply

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off